Tigers Sniff the Rose - Chapter 95

Chapter 95

Late February, and the spring rain fell like threads.

In the deep night after the rain ceased, a thin mist rose in the courtyard. The moon hung in the sky, clear and limpid as a pool of water.

Everything possessed a misty, ethereal beauty.

Just like the dream Yan Shang was having at this very moment.

In his dream, there was that same hazy, indescribable gloom, yet the dream naturally was not just scenery.

Clear ripples spread across the lake’s surface, and the fragrance of flowers quietly permeated the darkness. The breath of a man and a woman hidden within the room—light at first, then intense—became exceptionally sharp in the darkness.

The bed curtains were like sand, the skin soft and supple, entangled in deep intimacy. The moonlight was clear and cold; their affection, lingering and fine. The woman pressed beneath the man had hair spread out like silk, nestled against his shoulder, her brows slightly furrowed. She parted her lips softly, her dark hair tangled against her face, the peach-red hue at the corners of her eyes looking as though tears were hanging there.

The moon was bright and the stars sparse. The light beneath her neck was so beautiful and soft. Like radiant, crystalline snow; like polished mountain light. Her black hair spread beneath her neck, flowing leisurely. And the other person’s spine was like a mountain—the mountain and the water had reunited.

Black and white were blended together, chaotic, tearing the canopy into a deep, intense red.

Yan Shang stepped toward that bed, staring blankly, his heartbeat distinct and eerie.

The couple turned their faces. The woman was charming as a sprite, needless to say; but as the man tilted his head back, in a state of excessive, immersed pleasure... it was actually Yan Shang’s own face.

Yan Shang’s heart thudded, and he recoiled.

In an instant, he tumbled out of the dream.

The sparse moonlight hung in the sky. Yan Er-lang, dressed only in his undergarments, sat on the edge of the bed with his head bowed, clutching his collar and gasping for breath. His chest still held that sense of wet, stifling heat and the urge to vent his desire from the dream, his throat feeling parched.

After closing his eyes to calm himself for a while, Yan Shang pulled the quilt aside, looking at his wretched state with annoyance and embarrassment.

Ever since that night, he had constantly been having dreams like this. Trouble that never used to come often now occurred almost every single night. If this continued, he would go mad.

Yan Shang held his forehead, his jaw clenched. He forced himself to ignore the discomfort in his body and waited for it to slowly subside. After sitting stiffly for fifteen or twenty minutes until the physical reaction had faded, Yan Shang got out of bed to bathe and put on a clean set of undergarments.

Yun Shu, the pageboy on night watch, had just dozed off when he was startled awake by the sound of water being drawn in the inner room.

Yun Shu glanced at the gray, misty sky and asked in surprise, "Er-lang?"

The room went silent, as if the person inside were embarrassed.

After a moment, Yan Shang’s usual gentle voice sounded: "It is nothing. I remembered some official business I hadn't dealt with, so I got up to look at it during the night."

Yun Shu believed him immediately.

After all, his master was a man destined to toil.

Yun Shu merely worried about Yan Shang’s health: "Master, you simply think too much. In truth, how can there be so much to do? I see officials of the same rank as you in other households; the things they busy themselves with all day don't even amount to half of yours. Er-lang, you should sleep more. You are always like this—it is fine while you are young, but what will you do if you become sickly from exhaustion later?"

Yan Shang smiled: "I know. Thank you for your concern. I will only look for a moment and then sleep."

Yun Shu sighed and said no more.

In his heart, he hoped there would truly be a mistress of the house to properly manage Er-lang. Er-lang was excellent in every way, except that his demands upon himself were too high; he forced himself too much.

Within the room, after Yan Shang had finished his shamed bathing, he truly lit a lamp and sat before his desk. He began to practice calligraphy with a sense of irritation, hoping to find an answer to his own predicament.

He did not want to think about Mu Wanyao and immediately have his thoughts descend to lewd matters.

That was so foul and filthy, such a desecration of her.

Yet, he really could not help it.

When he was awake, he could control it, but this desire would come at night to torture him in his dreams. This happened so frequently that he was frightened by his own desire. He hated himself for being so unable to restrain it, for being controlled by it.

For the past two days, Yan Shang had not dared to see Mu Wanyao, fearing that the moment he saw her smile, his mind would descend into chaos, thinking of indecent, disgraceful things. But if he did not go to see her, Mu Wanyao would suspect what he was busy with.

Caught in a dilemma, Yan Shang had truly been suffering these past two days.

He was filled with regret, feeling that if this continued, he would surely make a fool of himself one day. And for a man like him, making a fool of himself was as painful as being killed.

After practicing calligraphy for a while, Yan Shang looked down at what he had written and was stunned to find the paper filled with the words "Mu Wanyao." Seeing his own handwriting, he could not help but open the window to look at the estate opposite.

He remembered that the Princess's estate had a three-story pavilion that used to always be lit up.

Yet, tonight Yan Shang was destined for disappointment; it was pitch black.

Clearly, he was the only one suffering; Mu Wanyao did not have the same troubles as him at all.

Yan Shang sighed and began his daily self-reflection on why he was like this. He reflected for a while, but then thought of the disgraceful things he had done that night, and could not help but show a smile, his brows slightly relaxing. His heart grew peaceful, and he began to record the events of that night.

After finishing, Yan Shang looked at his writing for a while and felt he was too laughable.

He shook his head and burned the paper, as if deeply burying his own private thoughts.

At most... at most, he furtively wrote a letter to his elder brother, awkwardly asking if his condition was abnormal, and sought advice on how to control his desires so he wouldn't make a fool of himself.

When writing to his brother, Yan Shang pulled out more stationery and wrote letters to his father, his third younger brother, and his little sister as well.

He instructed his father to drink less; asked after the health of his brother and sister-in-law and how his little nephew was doing, and if there was any shortage of supplies at home;

He sternly criticized his third brother’s aimless behavior and urged him to study hard; if his third brother could pass the provincial examinations and come to Chang’an, he could look after him and help share the family’s burden.

Finally, when writing to his little sister, the tone was much gentler.

But Yan Shang pondered and felt that his little sister was now at the age of fourteen or fifteen, the age when one’s heart first stirs for love. He urged his father, brother, and third brother to pay more attention to her and not let her go astray at this age.

Yan Xiaozhou was still young; there was no rush for her to marry.

All in all, it was long-winded. The letter grew longer and longer—

The envoys from various countries were about to leave the Great Wei capital, but for most people, this had little to do with them.

For example, in the home of Libationer Zhao, Master Zhao was more concerned with his youngest daughter, Zhao Lingfei; the envoys' affairs were none of his business anyway. And when it came to Zhao Lingfei, what Master Zhao kept on his mind was, naturally, his daughter's marriage.

Master Zhao had usually looked at Zhao Lingfei with a critical eye, but these past two days, hearing that she had participated in the military exercises and that others were praising his daughter’s courage as comparable to a man’s, Master Zhao felt both proud and terrified, fearing that with Wuniang like this, she would be even less likely to marry.

Master Zhao met Zhao Lingfei at the estate that day; she had just come from the small military training ground. She gave her father a perfunctory salute and turned to leave, knowing he disapproved of her martial training.

Who knew that this time, Master Zhao pulled a long face: "Wuniang, come back here!"

Zhao Lingfei looked back at him strangely, but still followed him to the study.

After closing the study door, Master Zhao said mysteriously: "Has there been any progress in your relationship with Yan Er-lang?"

Zhao Lingfei froze. An image flashed through her mind, and a blush appeared on her face, along with a trace of awkward annoyance.

She thought of how, after the military exercises and the literary contest that night, Princess Danyang had come to drink with them. Among the group of youths, Liu Ruozhu was the only girl; Zhao Lingfei had seen how gentle and well-behaved Liu Ruozhu was, and, moved by compassion, had taken the initiative to speak and chat with her.

But while they were chatting, Zhao Lingfei turned her head and saw Princess Danyang sitting with Yan Er-lang.

All the young men were drunk and the atmosphere was just right, so no one noticed. But Zhao Lingfei saw Princess Danyang leaning her head gently against Yan Shang’s shoulder, and Yan Shang stood there as if he felt nothing, not dodging at all.

That scene was so glaring that Zhao Lingfei was stunned on the spot.

Because the Yan Shang she knew was by no means the type of person to let a lady lean on his shoulder. He knew when to advance and retreat, and although he was gentle toward everyone, if he had no such intentions, he would never cause others to misunderstand or let a girl suffer in vain.

Such a Yan Shang actually allowed Princess Danyang to lean on him.

In an instant, Zhao Lingfei remembered many things from the past: she remembered the days when she went to block Yan Shang’s path, and she remembered when Princess Danyang had used her sharp tongue to make her cry and convince her to give up... She suddenly felt a bit angry, thinking that the Princess had convinced her to leave just to gain the advantage of proximity!

The two of them were neighbors, too!

The Princess was going too far!

Liu Ruozhu saw the change in Zhao Lingfei’s expression and followed her gaze. The campfire light was weak; Mu Wanyao and Yan Shang were nestled together, so warm and intimate. Liu Ruozhu froze for a moment, then instantly guessed: could it be that Zhao Lingfei also liked Yan Er-ge?

Does Zhao Niangzi understand Yan Er-ge’s feelings now?

Liu Ruozhu’s eyes dimmed; she nudged Zhao Lingfei’s shoulder, worried: "Wuniang..."

Zhao Lingfei glanced back at her, gave a self-deprecating smile, and took a depressed drink. Zhao Lingfei whispered: "The Princess is really bad."

Liu Ruozhu said softly: "The girl Yan Er-ge likes must not be bad."

Zhao Lingfei puffed out her cheeks: "I don't care! She lied to me... she’s a bad person!"

Zhao Lingfei had been depressed for a long time, and now Master Zhao was actually asking her about the progress between her and Yan Shang. What progress? It was a long shot before, and now it was even further away.

Seeing his daughter's gloomy expression, Master Zhao understood. Master Zhao did not care, laughing cheerfully: "It doesn't matter. Think about it carefully—although Yan Er is not bad, he is after all from a humble background and is not worthy of us. Father has found a better match for you, from a top-tier great family!"

Master Zhao said excitedly: "If you marry into that family, our branch of the family can rise in status."

Zhao Lingfei was a bit hurt by the affairs of men and women now, and she did not even refuse the marriage her father introduced: "What kind of family is it?"

Master Zhao coughed: "Well, the other party is a bit older than you... and has a child. But his late wife has passed away; if you marry over, even if you are a secondary wife, you are still a principal wife. And their family has already promised me that as long as you marry over, I won't have to be a Libationer anymore and can participate in real administration..."

Zhao Lingfei stared blankly at her ambitious father.

She knew her father had always set his heart on rising to the upper-class families, to the point that the Yang family had become their distant relatives. But she really hadn't expected her father to be so unscrupulous...

Zhao Lingfei raised her voice: "I am only sixteen! And you want me to be a stepmother to someone else's children! Am I unwanted? Is it that I cannot get married! How can you trample on your own daughter like this?!"

Master Zhao was displeased: "What is wrong with being a secondary wife? They have children, so if you marry over, you don't have to rush into having children early. It is not good for a girl to have children too early... They have all said that having you marry over is to let you take good care of that child. You don't have to rush to give birth... How many men in this world do not rush for their wives to bear children? Father is doing this for your own good!"

Zhao Lingfei retorted: "If you let me wait until I am seventeen or eighteen to marry, I wouldn't have this problem! What a lousy marriage arrangement; I shouldn't have trusted your eye. I won't marry!"

Zhao Lingfei lifted her chin stubbornly: "With your lousy eye, I would rather become a nun than marry!"

Master Zhao: "You dare to become a nun! If you become a nun, I will make your mother become one with you, and she will chant your name every day!"

Zhao Lingfei: "Pah! Do it if you have the ability. Trading your daughter's marriage—you really managed to come up with that!"

Master Zhao was so angered by her straightforwardness that his face turned purple; he retorted by scolding her, saying that if it weren't for his conniving, she wouldn't have the good life she had now. Zhao Lingfei mocked him, saying that he couldn't walk when he saw a great family, and wanted to arrange marriages the moment he saw a top-tier family... saying he was simply mad.

The father and daughter started quarreling just as they usually did.

Zhao Lingfei stood with her hands on her hips, so infuriating that Master Zhao kept throwing books and inkstones at her.

The crashing sounds in the study kept the servants outside terrified. When Madam Zhao heard the report from the servants, she hurried over to stop the fight, asking both sides to calm down and stop arguing.

Zhao Lingfei stood by the bookshelf and turned her face away, refusing to look at her father.

Master Zhao, calmed down a little by his wife, said: "Alright, if you think this marriage is no good, then I have another family in mind. It is a cousin of the Crown Prince, who is also at the age where he should marry..."

Zhao Lingfei could not take it anymore and shouted angrily: "The Crown Prince’s maternal family are butchers, and that cousin is also a butcher who doesn't know a single character. Now, by relying on the Crown Prince, the whole family has ascended... You, for the sake of climbing the social ladder, either want me to marry someone as a step-in wife or want me to marry an illiterate butcher... You have gone too far!"

"Is raising a daughter a business? Just waiting for you to sell her off?"

Madam Zhao persuaded from the side: "Your cousin still follows the Crown Prince, and the Yang family is on good terms with the Crown Prince, why must you be so disdainful..."

Zhao Lingfei endured her anger and remained silent.

Master Zhao: "You look down on this and look down on that, yet the one you fancy doesn't even look at you!"

Zhao Lingfei was suddenly infuriated; she slammed her fist onto the bookshelf, causing it to shake, and all the books came tumbling down. The sight of this made the Zhao couple’s eyes twitch, secretly shocked by their daughter’s immense strength, and they wondered if she was really born to them...

Zhao Lingfei said: "So, you also disdain Yan Er-ge because of his humble background, right? Except for not having the good background you fancy, Yan Er-ge is ten thousand times better than anyone you’ve chosen!"

Master Zhao: "Whatever you say... Wuniang, I am telling you, your marriage must be into a top-tier family that can help elevate our Zhao family's status. If it cannot, I will not agree to your marriage. If I do not agree, it will be an elopement without a matchmaker. Don't even think about marrying!"

Zhao Lingfei’s eyes reddened, and a sense of infinite despair rose in her heart.

Her ideas had never been in line with her father’s, but there had never been a moment that made her realize how much she hated her father. What was wrong with the Zhao family being pure officials? High status is good, of course, but if it is not possible, why not face reality?

Why must one climb the social ladder and covet what does not belong to them?

Her sisters' marriages, her brothers' marriages... and now it was her turn!

Madam Zhao was placating her husband; when she turned around to console her daughter, the study door was pushed open, and Zhao Lingfei ran out. Master Zhao was infuriated again: "If you dare to run, don't come back! I am the master of this house; just a little girl, eating my food and using my things, and yet she is so unreasonable!"

Madam Zhao said softly: "Lingfei is still young, she will understand..."

Zhao Lingfei, who had already run out of the study, heard the words coming from inside, and tears instantly welled up in her eyes, unable to stop falling.

She cried out of shame.

She did not know if she was ashamed for not being able to understand her parents, or ashamed that her parents were such people.

But on this afternoon, the day she ran out of the house, she suddenly realized that her father was such a disappointing father.

This home made her feel cramped and suffocated. If she lived here, she would either be driven mad by her father or, like her sisters and brothers, be assimilated by her father and become the same as them.

Perhaps people really do grow up to become the people they hate the most. But before that day arrived, she should fight with all her might.

She should fight with every ounce of strength she had!—

But where could she go?

Find Cousin Yang Si?

Zhao Lingfei went to the Yang estate and learned that her cousin hadn't been back for days. To her surprise, the Yang family members tried to probe her for information about Yang San-lang, asking what he had been doing since returning to Chang’an; they also urged her to persuade her cousin to get married.

Zhao Lingfei suddenly felt her cousin was also very pitiful. The atmosphere at the Yang estate also made her uncomfortable, so she said she was going home and ran out again. She went to her good friends' houses, but with no result.

She hesitantly went to the Yan estate, wanting to find Yan Er-ge. In her confusion, she always wanted to find someone she could trust to enlighten her and answer her questions.

However, Yan Shang was not at home either.

The pageboy said that Yan Er-lang was at the Secretariat; because of the alliance agreements with various countries, the Secretariat had been very busy recently, and Yan Er-lang was always busy with official business.

Yan Shang was gone, and as for the Princess's estate to the left, Zhao Lingfei didn't dare to knock on the door, because Mu Wanyao was so fierce; she figured she would be scolded out by the Princess.

Zhao Lingfei left the area in a daze, eventually not knowing where she should go. She crouched under the wall outside a teahouse, watching the lights slowly brighten, and hearing the drums and bells, knowing that the ward gates were about to close. Once the gates were closed, she couldn't run around.

Yet, Zhao Lingfei still didn't want to go home.

She crouched by the side of the road for a long time, watching the pedestrians coming and going, when suddenly, she saw an acquaintance. The man was riding on horseback, his face like snow-jade, clean and transparent, cold and aloof.

He was like thin, clear snow shining in the dim dusk, making the air feel less oppressive.

However, riding on the horse, he kept his head down, completely ignoring the admiring gazes of the pedestrians around him.

Zhao Lingfei’s eyes lit up, and she waved her hand: "Wei Qi-lang! Wei Qi-lang!"

Wei Shu turned his face and looked toward this side. He stared at the girl crouching in the corner for a long time, and Zhao Lingfei suspected he had forgotten who she was. Only then did Wei Shu slowly dismount and walk over. He stopped fully ten feet away from her.

Zhao Lingfei looked at the distance between them, speechless.

However, she said pitifully: "Can you do me a favor? During the military exercises, I saved you. Can you repay me?"

Wei Shu looked at her for a long time.

Just when she suspected he was planning to turn and walk away, she heard Wei Shu speak softly: "Speak."

Zhao Lingfei: "……?"

She froze for a moment before realizing he was asking her to say what kind of help she needed. She muttered to herself, thinking this person was really too taciturn. With a smile on her face, Zhao Lingfei continued to pretend to be pitiful: "Can you take me back to your estate and let me stay for a night?"

Wei Shu remained silent for a long moment, then turned and walked away. After walking a few steps, he turned back to see Zhao Lingfei jumping up very smartly and following him, almost bumping into him. Wei Shu recoiled in horror, signaling for her to stay further away, before he got back on his horse—

Leaving aside the matter of Zhao Lingfei, and leaving aside how Yan Shang’s affairs were going, Mu Wanyao’s mood recently was exceptionally good.

Mu Wanyao was with her Fourth Sister in the palace, sitting by the clear lake in the garden. Princess Yuyang was pregnant, already showing a bit of a belly, the brilliance of maternal love imbued in her features. Mu Wanyao sat beside her, fanning herself with a feather fan, adorned in pearls and jade, feeling serene and content.

The Emperor was still taking his afternoon nap, so the two princesses just sat in the palace garden waiting.

Princess Yuyang had come to the palace for a routine greeting, though she didn't know why her sixth sister had come to the palace. As far as she knew, the sixth sister didn't actually like running to the palace to see their father.

However... recently, she always felt that their father was very doting toward the sixth sister.

He kept sending supplements and treasures to the Princess’s estate, kept summoning Princess Danyang, and even when Princess Danyang’s temper flared and she snapped back at the Emperor on the spot, the Emperor hadn't been angry.

Princess Yuyang, who had never received any favoritism from the Emperor and felt like a background character, was curious and envious, wanting to know what the sixth sister had done to make their father treat her so well recently.

Mu Wanyao turned her face, seeing her fourth sister staring at her. Mu Wanyao pursed her lips and smiled, raising her brows slightly. She had a heart full of intimate secrets to share, but due to not having any friends, there was no one to tell. Now that Princess Yuyang was here, there were some things that couldn't be said to other young ladies, but they could be said to her own sister.

Mu Wanyao smiled: "Fourth Sister, do you know why I came into the palace today?"

Princess Yuyang shook her head: "I was just guessing, but I couldn't figure it out."

Mu Wanyao beamed, leaned close to her sister, and whispered: "I, you know, slept with someone."

The gentle and virtuous Princess Yuyang, whose goal was to be a virtuous wife, widened her eyes, covered her mouth, and looked at her sister. Princess Yuyang blushed, and for a long time, could only say stiffly: "...Oh."

She whispered: "This... is that not very good?"

Mu Wanyao raised a brow: "What’s not good about it?"

Princess Yuyang said stiffly: "You are not yet married, how can you go around saying such things..."

Mu Wanyao said indifferently: "I’ve been married before. I’m just not married now."

She didn't care about Princess Yuyang’s squeamish, shocked attitude; she leaned against her sister, happily discussing it with her: "I want to reward him. I want to request an official position for him in front of Father. He makes me happy, so I should make him happy too."

Princess Yuyang was at a loss for words: "...You slept with someone, and then you want to grant them an official position?"

Mu Wanyao’s eyes were charming, like rippling spring water, incredibly lively: "Yes."

Princess Yuyang: "Wouldn't this humiliate him?"

Mu Wanyao said displeasedly: "How is this humiliation? This is called returning a kindness!"

Princess Yuyang persuaded: "If you like him, you might as well talk to Father and have him promise you a consort."

Mu Wanyao suddenly lost interest, feeling that she and this conventional sister were not on the same wavelength.

The smile on her face faded, and she said: "My marriage has nothing to do with whether I like someone or not. Either I don't marry, or if I do, I want the marriage to have the greatest effect. If there is no benefit to be gained, why should I marry again? Have I not married enough times?"

Princess Yuyang said: "Hey, but..."

Mu Wanyao was annoyed: "Oh, stop talking! You are so conventional, I can't talk to you at all."

She turned her face away, ignoring her sister. Princess Yuyang, used to being timid and gentle, just watched her worriedly, not daring to say more. At this moment, the two heard footsteps and an announcement from an internal eunuch. Both looked over, and saw that it was Princess Yuyang’s husband, the Mayor of Jingzhao, walking over with a cloak draped over his arm, following the eunuch.

Princess Yuyang rose in surprise: "Why are you here?"

The Mayor of Jingzhao was also a young gentleman from a great family, refined and cultured. He smiled and exchanged greetings with the sitting Mu Wanyao, then draped the cloak over his wife, saying: "The spring day is cold, and you are pregnant; don't catch a cold."

Princess Yuyang blushed, held by her husband, and lowered her head. The couple whispered sweet words to each other.

Mu Wanyao hummed and looked away, disdaining this couple, thinking: what’s so great about this? She now also had someone who loved her, and she was not inferior to Princess Yuyang.

She was also someone with a lover now; her lover lived next door, so close that it was essentially the same as living in the Princess’s estate... and actually, it was essentially the same as being married.

No need to envy others at all.

No need to marry at all.

She could naturally sing songs night after night with Yan Shang, making everyone else envious! When she found the opportunity, she would show it off to others!

While Mu Wanyao was thinking this with indignation, her sharp eyes saw across the lake four or five officials being led by a eunuch to see the Emperor. Among those officials, she instantly recognized Yan Shang. After all, he was good-looking, and even though he was quietly walking at the very back, he was still very conspicuous.

When Mu Wanyao saw Yan Shang, the officials on Yan Shang’s side also saw the two princesses and the husband. The officials stopped to pay their respects to the princesses.

Yan Shang naturally looked toward this side as well.

Mu Wanyao, waving her round fan, looked at Yan Shang with full joy. Catching his gaze, she winked at him, figuring she would let him see her charm and allure.

Who knew that Yan Shang’s face would instantly turn red, and he would drop his gaze in an instant.

He seemed as panicked as if he shouldn't have seen her, and hurriedly followed the other officials as they walked away.

Mu Wanyao was stunned: "..."

He looked at her once, and he blushed?

She looked back at Princess Yuyang and her husband, who were cuddling in public.

Mu Wanyao hated in secret: What about her singing songs night after night?

At this rate, based on Yan Shang’s thin skin, would she ever have to wait for it?

Would she ever have the chance to make Princess Yuyang envy her for having a good lover?—

In the Eastern Palace, Yang Si was still kneeling.

Days had passed; he had only drunk some water and hadn't touched any food.

The youth knelt straight as a board. Over the past few days, the passing ministers had seen him countless times and had one by one shaken their heads and pleaded for him to the Crown Prince, but the Crown Prince had ignored them all. The palace servants couldn't help but worry, seeing that Yang San-lang’s face was becoming increasingly pale, his eyes filled with bloodshot veins.

Clearly, after days of torture, even with a body as strong as Yang Si’s, he was almost at his breaking point.

This night, Yang Si was still kneeling in a daze; after kneeling for so long, he had almost forgotten his original intention, knowing only that he could not give up. And at some unknown time, palace servants came to help him up, calling him "San-lang."

Yang Si said hoarsely: "Go away."

Behind the palace servants, the Crown Princess watched this stubborn youth with a complex expression. The Crown Princess sighed and said: "San-lang, get up and eat something; His Highness has agreed to see you."

Yang Si raised his face; on his thin, pale features, his eyes lit up suddenly like stars.

This light made the Crown Princess dazed. She wondered if the reason her husband valued Yang San-lang so much was because of this light upon him?

A light that burned through everything, including himself.

Would this light, one day, also consume Yang Si himself?—

After Yang Si had washed up and eaten a little to gain some strength, he entered the inner quarters to pay his respects to the Crown Prince.

The Crown Prince, wearing a jade crown and a white robe, was sitting under a lamp, wiping a sword. Yang Si closed the door and entered, standing beneath his desk; the Crown Prince had kept his head bowed to wipe the sword in his hand, without greeting him.

Yang Si just stood there in silence.

The candlelight shone on the wall, casting the figures of the young man and the youth on the wall.

The Crown Prince suddenly turned his gaze to look at the shadows of the two on the wall.

He stopped wiping the sword and said slowly: "Although I am the eldest son, I am a son of a concubine. Not only a son of a concubine, my maternal family is also humble, far inferior to the maternal families of the Prince of Qin and the Prince of Jin. Father has never approved of me since childhood; moreover, during the time of Empress Li, he often loathed why I was the eldest son, why I was not the principal eldest son that he liked best. He liked the second younger brother more. Everyone liked the second younger brother more. And with Empress Li being powerful, it was natural that the second younger brother was the Crown Prince the moment he was born.

"Unfortunately, the second younger brother had a bad fate. There were too many people who wanted him dead, and he really died. After he died, Father, for the sake of simplicity, directly sealed me, the eldest son, as the Crown Prince. This Crown Prince position, I obtained it as if by luck. Father never approved of me; I think for many years, he has been hoping that I would make a big mistake so he could directly cast me aside."

The Crown Prince mocked: "Unfortunately, it just so happens that I am a decent Crown Prince, and he never found an opportunity to demote me, so I have remained the Crown Prince all this time."

Yang Si lowered his eyes and said: "I have always believed in your abilities. You are just... too anxious for that position."

The Crown Prince murmured: "Yes, I am too anxious. More than anyone else. Third brother, fifth brother, they failed, but they had their maternal families to protect them, while what do I have? I reached where I am today solely by relying on myself. You always say I am heartless, say I don't love the people, don't love people... but San-lang, do I have the qualification to worry about those things?"

He sank into memory and said: "I still remember, when I started my education as a child, the reading companions around the second younger brother were all young gentlemen from great families. When it was my turn, Father just casually picked one for me, a completely dismissive attitude. I refused, and actively pleaded with Father, wanting someone from a great family to be my reading companion. Father was perhaps moved by my rare entreaty and arranged for a gentleman of the Yang family to be assigned to me.

"The Hongnong Yang family’s Chang’an branch is also a great family. I was overjoyed, thinking Father was finally treating me well. But I only found out later that the one who came to be my reading companion... was your eldest brother. He was in poor health; he had only read with me for two months when he died, still just a little child."

Yang Si’s voice was slightly tight: "...I heard my father say so."

The Crown Prince murmured: "And your second elder brother was actually given by your father to your uncle who had no children to raise, and in the end, the direct line of the Yang family had only you, just born, left. Father wanted to rearrange reading companions for me at that time, and I knew that if I gave up, I might never have another chance to move upward. I clenched my teeth and insisted on having the third young master of the Yang family. Even though the third young master of the Yang family was just born, still an infant... this reading companion, I could afford to wait for."

He suddenly turned his head to look at Yang Si.

Just in time for Yang Si to look up at him.

Seeing a glimmer of tears in the Crown Prince’s eyes, he looked at him with a miserable smile: "San-lang, I watched you grow up from childhood, hoping every day for you to grow up, and whenever there was an opportunity, I would go to the Yang family to see you, to see when you could finally enter the palace to keep me company in my studies. You are my hope, the hope I found with every ounce of effort to have even the slightest connection with the Yang family. Because your eldest brother died young due to poor health, I always worried that you would too. Did you know how often I went to see you?

"You were finally able to study, yet you were a troublemaker. I was so desperate inside, but I could only endure it. Ridiculously, I endured it until it became a habit. When I was only in my teens, I felt like I had a son I had to worry about. San-lang... swords have no eyes on the battlefield; why do you like this so much?"

Yang Si pulled up his robe and knelt down; it was a long time before he said hoarsely: "...Your Highness!"

The Crown Prince stood up, walked to him, and held his shoulders. The Crown Prince slowly handed him the sword he had been wiping, whispering: "If you want to go to the battlefield, then go.

"My only instruction is that swords have no eyes; you must return alive."