Tigers Sniff the Rose - Chapter 119

Chapter 119

Three years passed, like flowing water—

The twenty-seventh year of the Youhe reign. Just after New Year’s Day, the mist and waters of Chang’an were enchanting.

For three consecutive years, the Longyou Pass of the Great Wei had been harassed by small groups of Nanman troops. That spring, a recently promoted young general employed tunneling tactics to outflank the enemy’s rear. The Great Wei forces and the harassing Nanman troops fought in Longyou across a front of tens of miles, a conflict that lasted for over a month.

After three of their consecutive leaders were killed, the Nanman troops harassing the Great Wei border retreated, unwilling but defeated, and never again dared to invade our territory. Upon receiving the battle report, the central government was overjoyed; they summoned the young general to Chang’an to bestow rank and title upon him.

It was only then that the central government realized this young general, who had clawed his way up from the bottom, was no unknown figure, but the long-absent Third Son of the Chang’an Yan clan—Yan Si.

Just as the central government was deliberating on what level of general to appoint him, Yan Si assembled his troops and marched from Longyou toward Chang’an. Several tens of miles outside the city, they pitched camp. Naturally, under normal circumstances, these troops were only for show and would not enter Chang’an.

The only one summoned would be Yan Si himself.

That night, in his tent, Yan Si was plied with drink by his jubilant soldiers. Even with his formidable tolerance, he could not withstand the persuasion of so many. The soldiers were all tipsy, and Yan Si was drunk as well. His head throbbed as if it might split, yet his spirit was exceptionally high.

Four years without entering Chang’an, without seeing his parents—now that he was returning home in fine silks, how could he not be joyful?

Drunkenly, Yan Si untied the reins. Ignoring the drunken soldiers filling the tent, he mounted his horse, and carried by that surge of excitement, he galloped south toward Chang’an.

Near dawn, the horse’s pace slowed due to exhaustion. Yan Si, supporting his forehead, began to struggle with the mount in his irritable state. Man and horse engaged in a near-brawl in the dim light of dawn, a farce that ended with Yan Si being thrown from the saddle.

Yan Si was tossed off; the treasure of a horse, freed from its master, let out an excited neigh and galloped away with iron hooves, leaving Yan Si stranded in the wilderness. Yan Si cursed under his breath, clambered up covered in dust while clutching his head, and stumbled forward. He hadn’t gone far before he collapsed beside a small stream, his upper body submerged in the water, where he drifted off into an unconscious sleep.

When the sun rose, a brother and sister rode by on horseback from the other side of the road. The stream gurgled, the spring scenery was pleasant, and the pair spotted the youth collapsed by the water.

The sister let out an "Oh," and ignoring her brother’s obstruction, she jumped off her horse to crouch by the stream and check on the unconscious man.

Yan Si’s face was handsome and coldly sharp, yet flushed with the heat of alcohol. He slept heavily, but the habits cultivated over years of battle meant that as soon as he was touched, he instinctively reached for his blade. Unfortunately, he had gambled his waist-blade away the previous night while drinking. Yan Si didn’t find a weapon, but with a twist of his hand, he seized the wrist of the young girl who had touched him.

The girl cried out in pain.

Yet her voice remained gentle: "Sir, sir? What is wrong? Are you drunk? I am not a bad person. My brother and I are heading to Chang’an; my brother is going to take the spring imperial examinations."

Her brother had a booming voice: "Xiaozhou! This man looks ferocious at first glance; stop bothering with him, let’s hurry on our way."

Yan Si groggily opened his eyes to take a look, vaguely perceiving the silhouette of a girl in yellow. She was not a soldier-ruffian, nor an enemy from the battlefield. The bloodthirsty instinct in his veins receded slightly. Dimly, he saw the girl offer him a gentle smile, once again speaking softly to soothe him.

In his drunken state, Yan Si thought: her voice is so soft, like singing.

He released her wrist, let his head fall back, and slipped into sleep once more—

Third Brother Yan had no choice but to agree to his younger sister’s entreaties and help lift Yan Si onto their horse. The gentleman slumped over his horse while he led the reins, chatting with Yan Xiaozhou as they walked. Yan Si, on the horse’s back, heard them talking through the jolts.

But his spirit was too exhausted for him to want to open his eyes.

On the mountain path, Third Brother Yan was lecturing his sister: "You really are meddling. Who knows if he’s a good person or a bad one? What if he’s a bandit or a robber?"

Yan Xiaozhou gave a playful smile: "That’s why I tied him up with a rope, didn’t I?"

She then acted like a spoiled child to her brother: "We’ll just drop him at the nearest post station so he can rest there. Wouldn’t that be fine? Brother, how can you see someone in trouble and not help? If this gentleman has some urgent business or some difficulty, and we ignore him, wouldn’t we be delaying him?"

Third Brother Yan glanced at his sister.

She was in her prime, at seventeen or eighteen, with skin like snow and a willow-slim waist. She possessed beauty like the spring sun, and when she smiled, her eyes curved like crescent moons, her pupils dark, clear, and clean. Whether it was her looks or the transparent, pellucid quality of her character, she was extremely attractive to men.

Third Brother Yan had traveled from south to north with his sister; how could he not know the way men looked at her?

That was why he was so nervous.

He secretly regretted not bringing his sister out for fun.

He should have asked their eldest brother to follow as well.

Yan Xiaozhou smiled winningly: "Third Brother, I think you’re secretly grumbling about me in your heart again."

Third Brother Yan was startled.

Then he blustered: "No! Why are you just like Second Brother now? Someone hasn’t even done anything, and you’re already nagging. Don’t be like that! It’s not endearing at all."

Yan Xiaozhou pursed her lips in a soft smile, thinking that being like Second Brother wasn't bad either. However—

She felt a pang of melancholy, murmuring softly: "But I haven’t seen Second Brother in over five years. And Second Brother isn't in Chang’an."

Third Brother Yan’s mood dipped as well, but as an elder brother, he quickly comforted her: "Didn’t Second Brother tell us? To stay safely in Chang’an, and that he would certainly return to Chang’an this year."

He had something in his heart he didn’t tell his sister: This trip to Chang’an was partly for his examinations; but it was also to wait for Second Brother to return, so he could help their younger sister find a good marriage here.

There were no suitable families in Lingnan.

If Second Brother could remain in Chang’an long-term, and their younger sister could marry in Chang’an, with Second Brother to watch over her, the whole family could breathe a sigh of relief—

When Yan Si finally sobered up, it was already dusk.

Barefoot and grim-faced, he sat in a room at the post station for a while, but he only vaguely remembered that the brother and sister who helped him had been mumbling about an "Eldest Brother" and "Second Brother" the whole way. It meant nothing to him.

He only remembered that the young lady’s voice was very gentle.

After thinking for a long time without recalling anything useful, he simply put the matter aside. Yan Si went downstairs to greet the postmaster, borrowed a horse, and this time rode straight into Chang’an City in one go.

He estimated he would stay in Chang’an for half a year this time.

Partly because the old Emperor was wary and would not let him return to the border immediately; and partly because, well, Princess Danyang was likely going to get married—

The clothes for the Princess’s wedding were woven by the Shaofu Jian (Palace Treasury).

At the start of spring that year, the Palace Treasury and the Ministry of Rites began preparing for Princess Danyang’s wedding. If nothing went wrong, Princess Danyang would be married in the ninth month of that year. Half a year was barely enough time to prepare the ceremony and renovate the Princess’s estate.

Yan Si returned to Chang’an, went home for a day, spent half a day at the Eastern Palace, and then went up to the Danyang Princess’s estate, curious as to whom Mu Wanyao had chosen as her husband.

Over these many years, many things had changed.

For instance, the Crown Prince now followed the Emperor to study the way of a ruler. Although the Ministry of Revenue had returned to the Crown Prince’s hands, he was much more cautious and did not interfere in everything as he had before.

For instance, the most prominent figure in Chang’an today was the Prince of Qin.

For instance, while the Prince of Qin was powerful, the suppression of the forces behind him had become much more severe than when Yan Si had left Chang’an. The ones who contributed the most were those ministers of humble origin in the court who had banded together.

The Prince of Qin was both glorious and saddled with endless debts every day, leaving his mood complex.

And speaking of Mu Wanyao… she had acted much more steadily and quietly over these years. The Crown Prince was no longer as dictatorial as he once was, and Mu Wanyao was no longer as ostentatious. Mu Wanyao supported the scholars of humble origin in the court, but her methods were far more subtle and gentle.

Yet her influence was even greater, and for a time, no one dared to compete with her.

Princess Danyang had basically secured a firm footing in the power circles of Chang’an. Once she had secured her influence, she began to consider her marriage.

Although Yan Si regretted that Mu Wanyao never did manage to be with Yan Shang, he was sincerely happy for her that she was finally getting married. So, barely two days after returning to Chang’an, Yan Si came to see Mu Wanyao to ask for wine—

In the main hall of the Princess’s estate, Mu Wanyao smiled and invited Yan Si to sit, asking him to taste the fine wine she had recently acquired.

The two chatted and laughed, unlike the roughhousing of their childhood. But after years of separation, even though Mu Wanyao and the Crown Prince still ignored each other, the relationship between Mu Wanyao and Yan Si had not been much affected.

Mu Wanyao observed Yan Si, noting that his features had become much colder and harder, and his posture was much more upright than before. His current majestic aura had shed the impulsiveness of his youth; only now did he look like a true general who had walked off the battlefield.

Yan Si suddenly tilted his head toward her and asked in a flat tone, "Is that your future husband?"

Mu Wanyao followed Yan Si’s gaze, seeing spring blossoms falling in the courtyard as a young gentleman, led by handmaidens, approached from a distance—

Pei Qing, introduced by the Princess, respectfully took his seat behind her.

He knew what kind of figure Yan Third Young Master was, so he suppressed the tension in his heart and smiled to engage the gentleman in conversation: "I have heard that you and the Princess are childhood sweethearts, and that you returned specifically for the Princess’s wedding. The bond you and the Princess share makes one extremely envious."

Yan Si’s expression was cold as he cast a glance at Mu Wanyao.

Mu Wanyao swirled the wine cup in her hand, a careless smile playing on her lips. Only after Yan Third Young Master glanced at her did she turn back: "Pei Qing, pour wine for Yan Third. He is not happy without wine; if you want to curry his favor, just give him wine to drink."

Pei Qing instinctively felt that Yan Si did not like him. He suppressed the chill of being scrutinized and smiled in agreement.

Afterward, Yan Si dined there.

Pei Qing’s gaze remained on Mu Wanyao; whatever Mu Wanyao needed, he sensed immediately. A wine goblet, a dish—everything was placed within her reach.

Yan Si watched with cold eyes.

Pei Qing kept trying to talk to him, but the icy, piercing aura surrounding Yan Si caused this young man of scholarly background to show difficulty on his face several times. He looked at Mu Wanyao uncomfortably multiple times. Mu Wanyao smiled at Yan Si: "Don’t bully Pei Qing."

Yan Si sneered.

But once the meal was finished, Yan Si pulled his arm back and said calmly, "Out."

Pei Qing’s body stiffened slightly; he looked toward Mu Wanyao. Mu Wanyao’s lips still held a faint, lingering smile. She narrowed her eyes, looking rather lazy and unconcerned: "Go on down."

The hall was left with only Yan Si and Mu Wanyao.

Yan Si no longer stood on ceremony: "This is the husband you chose? What kind of eye do you have?"

Mu Wanyao was nonchalant: "What’s wrong with him? He listens to me, he’s well-behaved and sensible. If I tell him to go east, he won’t go west. He puts me before everything else, his eyes are always on me, and he works hard to interact with those around me. Even when someone like you gives him a cold face, he endures it."

"Where would you find such a good husband?"

Yan Si’s expression grew colder.

He said: "Are you taking a husband, a puppet, or keeping a male favorite?"

Mu Wanyao looked at him.

Yan Si stared at her. After his cold, sharp gaze met her bright, wet eyes for a long moment, he finally eased his aura. Yan Si said, "What on earth are you doing?"

Mu Wanyao swirled her goblet and said nothing.

Yan Si thought Pei Qing was no good, yet she thought he was acceptable.

Pei Qing came from a humble background and had been under her control since the imperial examinations. Now she was fighting for influence in the Ministry of Personnel and wanted to place Pei Qing there. If Pei Qing could have a say in the annual examinations, then she would have more manpower at her disposal.

It was just that Pei Qing was young; both she and Pei Qing would have to expend a great deal of energy for him to enter the Ministry of Personnel as a junior official.

But if Pei Qing could marry a princess… that official position in the Ministry of Personnel would be secured.

In the end, it was for the sake of power.

Furthermore, marrying into a humble family made it convenient for Mu Wanyao to express her stance toward the humble-born officials.

Mu Wanyao treated her own marriage as a political tool with ease. However, while Yan Si did not know her true purpose, he could see her nonchalant, perfunctory attitude toward marriage, which made him quite angry.

Yan Si lowered his voice: "When I left Chang’an, you weren’t like this. Have you been living more recklessly with every passing year? Marriage is a major event for a lifetime, and you intend to treat it this casually?"

Mu Wanyao retorted: "What’s wrong with it? Pei Qing is very obedient, and he loves me very much. You just don’t understand him yet. Once you do, you’ll know that my choice of husband is quite good."

Yan Si: "I can see his eyes are all on you, but I haven’t seen your eyes rest on him even once. Do you realize that when you look at him, your gaze just brushes over him at will?"

Mu Wanyao said: "Nonsense. I have looked at him seriously. Why don’t you call Pei Qing over, and I’ll look at him seriously for you to see?"

Yan Si said flatly: "But when you look at him, who are you thinking of in your heart?"

Mu Wanyao turned her face away.

The expression on her snowy white face was somewhat cold, yet her eyes still held three parts of a smile. She retorted: "Who am I thinking of?"

Others dared not speak.

But Yan Si had never feared this little girl.

Yan Si said: "You are thinking of the person whom that Pei Qing looks exactly like."

Mu Wanyao’s eyes stunned. Standing under the corridor, Xia Rong heard Yan Third Young Master point it out so bluntly and became quite anxious, fearing the Princess would flip the table in a rage. In the past three years, none of them had dared to mention that person before the Princess… what was Yan Third doing?

However, Mu Wanyao did not explode in anger.

Mu Wanyao rested her chin in her hand, looking thoughtfully at the spring scenery outside the window.

She was casual, unconcerned: "What does that have to do with anything? Perhaps my aesthetic is just like that, and the people I like are of the same type. I just like people who are obedient and well-behaved."

Yan Si mocked her: "You don’t even have a shred of passion, and you say you like him?"

Mu Wanyao hadn’t wanted to lose her temper; she had rarely lost her temper in the past three years. But Yan Si had provoked her time and again, and she finally became angry, pointing to the door: "Get out! What does it have to do with you? You don’t know a damn thing!"

Yan Si had never coddled her.

He rose to his full height and walked out, mocking her as he left: "I don’t understand this life you’re living, just making do. A princess, and you can’t even get what you want—what kind of princess are you?"

Mu Wanyao was furious, shouting loudly for Fang Tong and the other guards, ordering them to toss Yan Third out of the Princess’s estate and forbidding him from ever returning. She and Yan Third Young Master stood on opposite sides of the corridor shouting at each other, arguing incessantly. Mu Wanyao felt like grabbing a stick and beating Yan Third Young Master out herself, but she finally got the man chased away—

After Mu Wanyao and Yan Si quarreled, she angrily slammed the door and returned to her room, forbidding anyone from entering to disturb her. Xia Rong and Fang Tong, who was leaning against a pillar watching the show, gossiped: "Her Highness seems to have some vitality now."

Fang Tong: "Mhm."

Xia Rong was even somewhat comforted: "It seems our Princess is still suited to being with people like Yan Third Young Master. Third Young Master should be allowed to visit more often, and if he quarrels with the Princess, perhaps the Princess wouldn’t always stay by herself like she does on normal days."

Fang Tong sighed.

Xia Rong muttered: "And to think she’s choosing a husband. Her Highness doesn’t even allow her husband to spend the night in the estate, and it’s… it’s nothing like the one from before."——

Mu Wanyao paid no heed to Yan Si.

Yan Si looked down on the husband she had chosen, but this was her wedding, not Yan Si’s. If he looked down on him, so be it.

It was just that, perhaps influenced by Yan Si, when she looked at Pei Qing again, Mu Wanyao felt even less enthusiasm.

She could discuss official business with Pei Qing, but after talking about court matters, she wanted to drive Pei Qing away so she could be alone… she felt that being by herself was much more comfortable than having another man in the estate. Mu Wanyao suspected there was something wrong with her, yet she didn’t feel unhappy anywhere.

It was just neither bad nor good.

One day, Mu Wanyao had just returned from outside when Pei Qing arrived at the Princess’s estate. Mu Wanyao’s expression was cold; as she stepped down from the carriage, she didn’t even look at Pei Qing, lifting her hem to climb the steps.

And from her expression, Pei Qing could tell she was in a bad mood today, likely having quarreled with some minister. Just as Pei Qing was hesitating, Mu Wanyao turned her face toward him: "Whatever it is, say it quickly. I’m a bit tired today and won’t be keeping you for dinner."

Pei Qing pulled out a young man in plain clothes from behind him and said warmly: "It is like this, I have just become acquainted with this gentleman and felt his literary talent was excellent; he may well be on the list for this year’s spring examinations. I wanted to bring him to pay his respects to Your Highness."

He put it so politely, yet Mu Wanyao knew the meaning: it was to help the other party submit their works for recommendation.

Mu Wanyao’s lips curled, and she said perfunctorily: "You are a high official of the court, just go find the Minister of Personnel in my name. Such a small matter does not need to be asked of me."

The face of the young man behind Pei Qing became unsightly and embarrassed.

He could hear that the Princess didn’t take them seriously.

Pei Qing was equally awkward, as Mu Wanyao’s attitude made his previous guarantee look ridiculous. He stepped forward, following behind Mu Wanyao, and tried to advocate one last time: "Your Highness, he is a famous scholar from Nanyang, does Your Highness really not want to ask a bit more…"

Mu Wanyao stood on the steps, her footsteps suddenly halting.

She heard the words "Nanyang" in her ear.

By some stroke of fate, perhaps Yan Si’s lecturing had truly influenced her, perhaps the wine she had drunk that afternoon was going to her head, Mu Wanyao turned her face to look at the unhappy youth.

A smile played on her lips, as if she were teasing the other party, or perhaps out of curiosity: "A Nanyang scholar, huh? Then do you know a person named Yan Shang?"

Pei Qing’s eyes stiffened. He looked at Mu Wanyao, but Mu Wanyao seemed truly just curious, her smile maintaining that same indifferent attitude.

The youth was bewildered.

Mu Wanyao said offhandedly: "It’s that magistrate of Rang County in your Nanyang…"

The young gentleman was suddenly enlightened: "Is Your Highness speaking of Master Yan, who bears the name of 'Famous Minister of the Realm'? Is it our府君 (Prefect) Yan Suchen?"

Mu Wanyao: "..."

Her gaze fixed, and she lost her smile: "Right. That’s him. What, is he very famous?"

The smile on Pei Qing’s face was already very forced; he lowered his sleeves and looked at Mu Wanyao. However, Mu Wanyao’s jet-black eyes were fixed on the youth behind him; she couldn’t see him at all.

The youth said in a tone of admiration: "Our Prefect’s fame is naturally immense. Your Highness may not know, but the prosperity of the official schools and private academies in Nanyang today already exceeds that of Chang’an. Many famous scholars and masters in our area have gone to teach in the schools, and all of them were invited by our Prefect.

"The Prefect not only hires famous teachers for us, but also establishes elementary schools and personally edits the books. For scholars of humble origin like me, who don’t have the travel money to come to Chang’an, he even provides us with support…"

Mu Wanyao stared at the yearning expression in the youth’s eyes for a long moment.

She revealed a smile: "Stay for dinner."——

The youth invited by Pei Qing clearly felt the Princess’s interest in their Prefect. To have the Princess recommend his works, to enter the Princess’s door, he naturally had to curry favor with the Princess.

So, during dinner that night, even though Pei Lang hinted several times for him to stop, as long as the Princess was willing to listen, the youth still racked his brains to think of deeds involving their Prefect.

After the tables were cleared, Mu Wanyao still didn’t intend to end the conversation. She rested her chin in her hand, the light in her eyes shaking like stars, amused by the youth’s words.

She smiled sweetly: "Really? Have you truly met him? Would he actually go to teach you to study? That can't be, right? He shouldn't have such skills."

The youth said excitedly: "How could we trouble the Prefect to teach us? It was once when the Prefect came to the school that everyone ran to watch; I also took a look in the crowd. Your Highness is an old acquaintance of our Prefect, right? Then Your Highness must know, our Prefect’s bearing is truly… his cultivation and demeanor are beyond words."

Mu Wanyao’s cheeks flushed red.

She lowered her long eyelashes in embarrassment, softly let out an "Mhm," and said with a flushed face: "He is very good-looking."

The youth said: "Your Highness knows who our Nanyang Cishi (Inspector) is, right? He is a gentleman from the famous Jiang clan of Nanyang. The Inspector wanted to marry his daughter to our Prefect, but after the Inspector chatted with our Prefect for an entire night, he was so ashamed the next day that he said his own daughter was unworthy of the Prefect."

Mu Wanyao pursed her lips and smiled, the light in her eyes growing brighter.

She said: "So you have truly met him?"

The youth: "Met him, met him! Not only have I met him, but I have also spoken with the Prefect."

Mu Wanyao: "Is his voice very pleasant? That kind of low and gentle sound, like, like he’s whispering secrets to you, or like a spring breeze blowing past."

The youth laughed and said: "I suppose so. I have never heard the Prefect speak in a loud voice."

Mu Wanyao: "He doesn't speak in a loud voice in the first place! Because his cultivation is excellent, he rarely gets angry. And even if you make him angry, it doesn't matter; he rarely makes people lose face. If you do something wrong, he just looks at you and sighs with particular helplessness, like this—"

Mu Wanyao closed her eyes. A moment later, when she lifted her eyes, her entire temperament became exceedingly gentle. She gazed softly at the two on the mat, gently letting out a sigh that rose like a puff of mist, dispersing softly.

The youth said: "I have never seen him sigh."

Mu Wanyao was displeased, feeling his understanding was too shallow.

However, she was still very interested in talking with this youth. She said: "Then have you seen him in a daze?"

The youth thought for a long time and said: "Once! Once when I went to the school, I saw the Prefect standing outside our classroom; all the teachers had left, but he was still standing there, motionless. He must have been in a daze."

Mu Wanyao’s cheeks grew hot.

She smiled sweetly: "Was he fun when he was in a daze? His eyes looking at the sky, standing there so blankly for half a day. He’s such a muddle-headed person, and then after he’s been in a daze for a long time, you can hear him let out a long sigh. The sigh at that moment is different from the one when he’s helpless… I really like watching him be in a daze."

And so it went, that and this.

All night long, Mu Wanyao and the youth chatted happily about a single person. Pei Qing retreated halfway through, but he didn’t spoil Mu Wanyao’s fun.

After all, she was a Princess; she did as she pleased.

It was just that Pei Qing began to feel uneasy… began to feel that something was about to happen—

Mu Wanyao talked with the youth all night and invited the other party to stay at the Princess’s estate that night. The next day, she took the initiative to help the other party submit their works for recommendation. Unfortunately, this youth knew very little about Yan Shang’s affairs, and Mu Wanyao could not learn more from him, so she quickly lost interest.

That night, Mu Wanyao was drinking alone in the estate when Xia Rong came to report: "Pei Lang requests to see Your Highness."

Mu Wanyao frowned and said: "If there’s nothing important, there’s no need to see him."

So Xia Rong went out, and when she returned, she saw the Princess still drinking by herself. Xia Rong knelt by the Princess’s side, hesitated for a while, and then advised: "Your Highness is about to be married; why still treat Pei Lang so coldly?"

Mu Wanyao didn’t even turn her head and said: "Did he give you money, bribe you, and tell you to speak well of him in front of me?"

Xia Rong was ashamed: "…No. Pei Lang did do that, but this servant dared not take his money. I just felt some sympathy for him, which is why I spoke like that."

Mu Wanyao muttered: "Yan Shang was never like this."

Xia Rong froze, almost thinking she had misheard.

Outside the window, the misty moonlight shone in, cold, white, and desolate, spreading over Mu Wanyao. Xia Rong watched the Princess for a while and said: "Your Highness has been mentioning Yan Second Young Master quite often lately."

Mu Wanyao said nothing.

Xia Rong: "This servant doesn’t understand… after that event back then, doesn’t Your Highness hate Yan Second Young Master? Why is it that now… that day when that gentleman spoke to Your Highness about Yan Second Young Master, in these past few years, this servant has never seen Your Highness so happy. Pei Lang’s face was ugly at the time, but this servant saw that Your Highness was almost lost in the moment."

Mu Wanyao’s lips curled.

She supported her forehead with her hand, looking down at the wine in the cup with a sense of bewilderment: "I don’t know either… maybe it’s because Yan Third has returned, maybe it’s because I’m getting married soon… I just keep thinking of him, thinking of him more and more."

"Do you know? Now when I look at Pei Qing, I keep thinking of Yan Third’s words. Was the reason I supported this person initially because Pei Qing is like Yan Shang in some aspect?"

"But then I feel Pei Qing is no good. I often think that he and Yan Shang are completely different. He isn’t as shy as Yan Shang; although he is reserved, he isn’t as consistently uncomfortable as Yan Shang. His eyes are always on me, but Yan Shang often doesn’t look at me… whenever I turn back, Pei Qing is there. But I—I really like watching Yan Shang sit there in a daze."

"Clearly Pei Qing has only me in his heart, so why am I so unconcerned? Clearly Yan Shang didn't have only me in his heart, so why wasn't I unconcerned when I was with him? I don’t like sitting with Pei Qing, I don’t like talking to him, I don’t like that every word I say, he agrees with…"

"He is very obedient, but I… I don’t know. I just feel…"

Mu Wanyao collapsed onto the table, murmuring: "When Yan Shang was there, I felt very safe, and my emotions would rise and fall. When Pei Qing is here, my heart has no ripples, as if it were dead ashes."

Xia Rong was silent for a while and said: "Why does Your Highness feel that Yan Second Young Master is very safe? He clearly, clearly treated Your Highness like that."

Mu Wanyao immediately looked up. Perhaps she was drunk, as she quickly retorted: "That’s different! He didn’t leave me for any other reason; it was just that our positions were different at the time, and we couldn’t walk the same path. He never did anything bad to me. After he left, he even left me a memorial advising me on what to do…"

"Xia Rong, you don’t understand Yan Shang. You don’t know what kind of person he is. But I do. I knew from the very beginning."

She turned her head and revealed a secret-like smile to her handmaiden. She whispered:

"I’ll tell you a secret: if I were blind or lame, if I weren’t a princess anymore, all of you would change your attitude toward me because of it. But Yan Shang wouldn't. Even if he wasn't by my side, I would know that if something happened to me, he would help me, and he would help me without reservation."

Her eyes shimmered, and she looked up at the bright moon. The moonlight shone into her eyes, falling into her jet-black world.

She was not wandering, nor was she helpless.

She was not sad, nor was she grieving.

It was just loneliness. It was just that she often felt it was too quiet at night. It was just that when she held a lamp, she would suddenly not know who she wanted to look at.

Mu Wanyao looked at the moonlight, murmuring like someone obsessed: "He is the best person I have ever met in this world. No one is as good as he is."

Mu Wanyao collapsed onto the table, her shoulders trembling slightly. Xia Rong felt she was choking on sobs, so she gently pushed the Princess to look at her face. Yet she didn't see the Princess crying; the Princess was just like a little cat, wailing and complaining, clawing with its paws—

She wanted someone.

Especially wanted.

It was just that she couldn't show it ordinarily—

Mu Wanyao’s declaration after getting drunk that night was but a fleeting glimpse. Xia Rong wanted to discuss this matter with the Princess the next day, but Mu Wanyao brushed it off lightly, giving her no chance to speak at all.

Until that day, when Mu Wanyao and her party returned from outside and stood in the alley where the Princess’s estate was located, she was suddenly stunned.

For a carriage was parked in the alley; this common-standard carriage obviously was not one Mu Wanyao would use. And servants were moving things into the house next door… Mu Wanyao felt her heart skip a beat in an unnatural way.

Before Xia Rong and the others could react, Mu Wanyao had already walked into the adjacent mansion. The adjacent mansion had been unmaintained for three years and was very desolate, yet what Mu Wanyao’s eyes were searching for was not the scenery, but a person… Just as she failed to find the person she expected and didn’t know what to feel, she heard a soft, surprised female voice behind her: "Is… is that you, Your Highness? Princess Danyang?"

Mu Wanyao turned her head and saw a young girl holding a pile of books, revealing a gentle smile at her. And a young man who had been hurrying, shouting something loudly, suddenly lost his voice as if he were a duck with its throat pinched when he saw Mu Wanyao.

Mu Wanyao didn’t recognize that the youth was Yan Third Young Master, but she stared at this graceful young girl for a long moment and called out: "You are… Yan Xiaozhou!"——

Yan Xiaozhou and Third Brother Yan were somewhat awkward.

They had meant to take advantage of the Princess’s absence to tidy up the mansion. They hadn’t expected to run into the Princess after all.

Yan Xiaozhou spoke softly: "It is like this, I accompanied Third Brother to the capital for the examinations, and Second Brother didn’t want us to stay here; he said he wanted to sell this residence. Third Brother intended to volunteer, and we decided to tidy up the courtyard a little, and it would be better to help Second Brother sell this residence. Since Second Brother is also about to get married, he will always need money…"

Mu Wanyao was stunned.

She frowned: "Get married?"

Yan Xiaozhou looked at her with dark, clean eyes. She gazed at this Princess and keenly perceived the Princess’s thoughts, so after hesitating, Yan Xiaozhou said nothing.

Third Brother Yan, however, was blank: "Your Highness, what are you doing? Is my Second Brother not allowed to get married? My Eldest Brother already has three children, and my second child is about to be born… My Second Brother was finally persuaded by us to get married; it’s already very late! He can’t delay any longer!"