Tigers Sniff the Rose - Chapter 113

Chapter 113

The death of Luo Xiu was investigated by the Ministry of Justice according to standard procedure.

Given the overall attitude of Great Wei, and the fact that the King of Wuman had left this man behind as a hostage—coupled with the man's tangled ties to the Southern Barbarians, and the fact that Great Wei and the Southern Barbarians were hardly friendly neighbors—the Ministry of Justice only intended to conduct a cursory investigation. They planned to provide a perfunctory explanation to the Wuman and close the case.

However, after Yan Shang became involved, the Ministry of Justice could no longer investigate so carelessly.

Although Yan Shang was an official of the Ministry of Revenue, the Ministry currently left him to his own devices, and he had nothing to do. Somehow, he had managed to obtain a mandate signed by the Secretariat, stating that this man, Luo Xiu, was involved in matters of great consequence and the case could not be closed lightly.

With the Secretariat's mandate in hand, Yan Shang insisted on investigating Luo Xiu's death alongside the officials from the Ministry of Justice. The Ministry officials did not know exactly what Luo Xiu was entangled in, and since the Secretariat's mandate was classified as a state secret that could not be opened at will, they had no choice but to cooperate with Yan Shang.

Seeing Yan Shang go off to work with the Ministry of Justice, the Ministry of Revenue was only too happy to have the peace, thinking that they had finally managed to get rid of this troublesome deity.

In Yan Shang's view, it was possible that Luo Xiu was connected to a high-ranking court official on charges of treason. Since Luo Xiu had remained in Chang'an, that official would surely have tried every possible way to contact him. Therefore, Luo Xiu's death was likely the work of that official. With this in mind, Yan Shang went with the Ministry of Justice officials to the private residence of Libationer Zhao in Fanchuan to ask how Luo Xiu had been discovered.

As everyone looked at the corpse, bloated from being soaked in water, Yan Shang followed the Ministry officials to examine the wounds and found traces of blood on the top of Luo Xiu’s head, consistent with a blow from a blunt object.

With this, Yan Shang took the evidence and went directly to the residence of Duke Zhao.

Duke Zhao had just begun collaborating with the currently red-hot Grand Eunuch, Liu Wenji. Little did he expect that just as he was offering his token of allegiance, he would run into someone as difficult as Yan Shang.

Normally, the Ministry of Justice officials might have saved face and let it slide, but Yan Shang refused to let go, leaving Libationer Zhao in a dilemma. Privately, he tried to bribe Yan Shang, and even stammered, using the secret affair between his daughter, Zhao Lingfei, and Yan Shang as a lever to hope that Yan Shang would drop the case.

However, the move backfired.

Perhaps Yan Shang hadn't initially thought the Duke had much of a connection to the matter, but now, he was determined to investigate the Duke's motives.

On the day Luo Xiu died, the Duke was staying at his private residence in Fanchuan, and some eunuchs had been hunting in the Nanshan Mountains. The Duke's residence was right at the foot of those mountains. There were traces of grass in Luo Xiu's boots, and since Luo Xiu was a General of the Right Guard, he had likely participated in that hunt in the Nanshan Mountains that day.

Thus, this involved the conflict between the Southern and Northern Imperial Guards.

The Ministry of Justice, controlled by the Prince of Qin, worked with Yan Shang, though the Prince merely paid mild attention to the matter. Once Yan Shang began questioning military personnel, however, the Prince of Qin specially met with him to ask what he was investigating.

Immediately following this, Yan Shang began investigating in the direction of the eunuchs.

Within the palace, the moment Yan Shang obtained the list of eunuchs who had been hunting that day and began having the Ministry of Justice summon them for questioning, Liu Wenji received the news.

The young junior eunuch who had been sent to kill Luo Xiu knelt before Liu Wenji, trembling, his face as pale as death: "Grand Eunuch, that Second Young Master Yan is truly hateful. He is holding onto this one thing and won't let go. If he continues to investigate, he will likely find his way to us. My life is of no consequence, but if this impacts your standing, it would be a sin."

Liu Wenji’s expression darkened. He tapped his desk, feeling agitated and hesitant.

Yan Shang… why did it have to be Yan Shang?

The junior eunuch leaned in close to his ear and suggested viciously: "Grand Eunuch, since we have already gone this far, why not just kill him?"

Liu Wenji remained silent, still hesitant.

If it were anyone else, Liu Wenji might have killed them to silence them immediately. Only Yan Shang made him hesitate; only Yan Shang made it difficult for him to strike.

Yet, Liu Wenji knew perfectly well that even if he felt soft-hearted toward Yan Shang, if Yan Shang discovered the truth, he would show no such mercy to him. The Second Young Master Yan appeared good-tempered and sincere to his friends, but that was only as long as nothing touched his principles. And Yan Shang’s principles…

Liu Wenji murmured: "Why must he investigate Luo Xiu's death? Could it be that he knows about the secret transfer of intelligence?"

Liu Wenji felt a shiver of dread!

If this matter were exposed, it would be a charge of treason. He absolutely could not let Yan Shang find out that he was the one behind it!

But Liu Wenji did not want to kill Yan Shang.

Liu Wenji gave a low order: "Recently, Second Young Master Yan has been embroiled in the disaster relief case in Yizhou, and the Ministry of Revenue and the Crown Prince's people have been submitting memorials against him. Find a time for me to meet with Duke Zhao. The Duke has been in court for many years and should know quite a few officials in the Censorate. Have the people in the Censorate start attacking Second Young Master Yan as well… we must ensure he is so overwhelmed that he cannot attend to other matters."

The eunuch's eyes brightened, and he immediately obeyed.

The affairs of the court—returning to political maneuvering—was the smartest political strategy.

The memorials from the Ministry of Revenue against Yan Shang were actually being suppressed by Mu Wanyao, though she was barely conscious of it.

Since she had made an agreement with Yan Shang, she knew she was in the wrong for not letting him continue his investigation. Naturally, aside from making compensation, she could not let the Ministry of Revenue officials crush him completely.

But overnight, the Censorate began to attack Yan Shang. Since they could not find any dirt on his official career, they began digging into his private morals. When they couldn't find anything there, they began to attack him for "seeking fame and reputation," and attacked him for having once left the capital for a day without reason… The memorials flew toward the Secretariat like snowflakes. In an instant, Yan Shang became the target of public criticism.

Mu Wanyao immediately went to question the Censorate and managed to barely suppress their memorials. Meanwhile, the Crown Prince’s side immediately sent a Vice Minister of the Ministry of Revenue to ask Mu Wanyao: "If Second Young Master Yan is overwhelmed and lacks the energy to fight us, the Yizhou affair will be entirely under our control. Why should the Censorate stop?"

Mu Wanyao's face was grim. After a long silence, she squeezed out a sentence: "Because the Censorate is attacking him for leaving the capital for a day without reason—he was on his way to see me. Help me ask my brother: in his desire to bring down Yan Shang, does he also intend to bring me down?"

The Vice Minister of the Ministry of Revenue was shocked and immediately dared not speak further on the topic.

Watching the Princess flick her sleeves and turn to leave the hall, the Vice Minister hesitated and followed: "Your Highness… Your Highness, in truth, I know that you do not wish for Second Young Master Yan to be harmed in this incident."

Mu Wanyao stood behind the flowers outside the hall, turning her face to look at the Vice Minister, her expression cold.

The Vice Minister smiled bitterly: "I was first promoted by the late Empress and have since followed Your Highness as a strategist. I can still understand some of your intentions. Rest assured, Your Highness. You do not want both sides to suffer losses, and neither does the Ministry of Revenue. I will do my best to ensure the case does not spread too far."

He hesitated: "On the condition that Second Young Master Yan does not continue to expand his investigation."

Mu Wanyao said: "He promised me he would not investigate the Yizhou matter again."

The Vice Minister smoothed his long eyebrows: "That is good. I can rest easy."

Mu Wanyao looked sideways at this middle-aged man. His cousin was currently being held in the Ministry of Justice, and the court was pressing charges. The Vice Minister was undoubtedly suffering under the pressure from his own clan and felt quite miserable. Mu Wanyao sighed, her tone softening considerably: "Do not worry. As long as we provide compensation, I will be able to protect you."

The Vice Minister asked in return: "Your Highness, I have a question, I know not if I should ask. The Ministry of Revenue is currently freezing out Second Young Master Yan. He has nothing to do in the Ministry and cannot access anything. He is merely a seventh-rank official; it is easy for us to hollow out his position. Why is Your Highness still so vigilant against him?"

Mu Wanyao sighed softly.

She whispered: "Yan Shang is too intelligent; we cannot give him any openings. I have known him for several years; his ability to break a deadlock is truly formidable… He is only remaining idle now because he struck a deal with me. We cannot drive him into a corner. I dare not underestimate him, and I dare not believe that he is truly as helpless as he claims… It is always better to be on guard against him."

The Vice Minister hesitated for a moment before nodding: "Since Your Highness says so, I believe you."

He looked at the Princess's profile and saw that in just a few days, she seemed to have grown much thinner, her complexion far paler. He knew that given the relationship between the Princess and Second Young Master Yan, she must be feeling terrible in this situation. It was likely that the Princess, caught in the middle, was having the hardest time of all.

And she was only a young woman…

The Vice Minister felt a pang of pity and suggested: "Your Highness could host a banquet, invite me and Second Young Master Yan, and we could formally reconcile and talk this through. What does Your Highness think?"

Mu Wanyao felt tempted, but looking at the Vice Minister, she shook her head: "Better not to provoke him. I fear that if you appear before him, he will be reminded of the Yizhou Governor, and he will go back on his agreement with me. For now, both sides will rely on their own abilities; let us just wait for this case to conclude."

The case of Luo Xiu was stalled for the time being, as Yan Shang was being attacked by memorials from all sides and needed to cooperate with the investigations.

The case of the Yizhou Governor, however, was not difficult to conclude.

Every party needed the Yizhou Governor to take responsibility for the disaster, and the Governor himself did not dispute the charges, quickly pressing his thumbprint to the confession. Thus, in just a few days, the verdict was handed down: the court sentenced the Yizhou Governor to exile in Lingnan, never to return to the Central Plains for the rest of his life.

The principle of collective punishment extended only to his five kin, not the nine.

Therefore, the Vice Minister of the Ministry of Revenue only had his salary docked and was not implicated.

On the day the Yizhou Governor was exiled to Lingnan and paraded through the streets out of Chang'an, Yan Shang went to watch. Amidst the crowd of onlookers, he confirmed that it was indeed the Yizhou Governor and that the court had not used another death-row prisoner as a substitute, only then did his heart settle.

Yet, he still felt terrible.

The disaster in Yizhou had lasted for months, and in the end, it only resulted in the exile of the Governor's family.

Ultimately, he felt it was unjust.

However… Yan Shang also knew that this was likely all he could do. If he continued to investigate, the officials in Chang'an would attack him en masse. Without anyone backing him, he would only be swallowed up and die a nameless death.

After all, even Mu Wanyao had a different stance than his.

Regarding the problem between him and Mu Wanyao… Yan Shang did not know how to solve it. He could only think that when spring plowing arrived, he would take Mu Wanyao out of Chang'an and let her see for herself; perhaps her attitude would change.

For now, more importantly, Yan Shang wanted to figure out how Luo Xiu had died. He had already traced it to the eunuchs in the palace and had to find evidence… but it was at this very moment that the Censorate began to attack him. Yan Shang could not help but suspect that the eunuch he was trying to investigate wielded significant power.

And currently, the most powerful eunuch in Chang'an city… was Liu Wenji.

Yan Shang was stunned. He truly did not want his opponent this time to be Liu Wenji.

It was precisely while Yan Shang was hesitating that a message came from the outside: "The Yizhou Governor is dead!"

When the news arrived, Yan Shang was killing time in the Ministry of Revenue. Although he was physically in the Ministry, his mind was on the matter of Luo Xiu. When officials outside discussed the death of the Yizhou Governor, Yan Shang opened the door to go out. Upon seeing him, those officials’ expressions went cold; they dispersed immediately and stopped talking.

Even a person as gentle and refined as Yan Shang found that when stances differed, everything was vanity.

Yan Shang's expression remained as usual; he did not take the cold avoidance of others to heart. He grabbed an official he had often helped in the past, bowed first, then asked: "How did the Yizhou Governor die?"

The official hesitated for a moment, but remembering the care Yan Shang had shown him in the past, he gave a brief explanation: "As the bailiffs were escorting the Yizhou Governor to Lingnan, not long after they left Chang'an, they were attacked by a masked knight-errant. The bailiffs thought the knight was there to rescue the Governor and became quite nervous. The Yizhou Governor himself probably thought that because of some good deeds he had done in the past, this knight had descended from the heavens to save him."

"That knight captured the Governor. While the Governor was saying things like 'Great hero, save me,' the knight turned and dealt the Governor a sword blow, then fled."

"The bailiffs were stunned and only thought to chase after the knight after a long while. But when they turned back, they found that the Governor was already dead."

"They had only been out of Chang'an for a day, so they had no choice but to return to report the news. What a pity."

Yan Shang was lost in thought. He bowed again to thank the man for his answer. As he was leaving, the man called him back and hesitated: "Yan Er, let me give you a piece of advice. Since the Governor is dead, go to the Crown Prince or the Vice Minister and apologize; let this matter end here."

"You are so talented; you shouldn't be treated with such neglect."

Yan Shang bowed gently: "Many thanks for your concern, Langjun."

That night, Yan Shang returned to his residence.

As usual, he went to the washroom to freshen up. He remained unable to puzzle out who had killed the Governor. Even upon entering the washroom, he was still thinking about it.

The candlelight flickered gently on the window.

Yan Shang stared at the candlelight dancing on the window for a heartbeat. In the next instant, he dodged to the side and simultaneously reached out to push over the shelf beside him. Just as he expected, a cold sword pierced through the curtain, silent and swift, stabbing toward him. The shelf he had toppled blocked the momentum of the sword for a split second, and the owner of the sword was revealed.

Yan Shang focused his eyes: "Han Shuxing!"

Han Shuxing did not utter a word. He had been hiding there, waiting for Yan Shang to return. The first strike having missed, the sword in his hand swept toward Yan Shang again. Yan Shang was a civil official, his martial arts were at best mediocre; in front of such a warrior, he was truly no match. But Yan Shang's cool-headedness allowed him to parry Han Shuxing's assassination attempts—and though he looked disheveled, he was not struck by the first blow.

Constantly knocking over vases and boxes, using the curtains to block the attacker… Amidst the crashing and banging, the entire room was thrown into chaos.

Yan Shang's movements were extremely slow in Han Shuxing's eyes, devoid of any technique, yet every movement Yan Shang made happened to block the sword, causing Han Shuxing's killing intent to grow even fiercer.

Han Shuxing sneered, accelerating his movements, sweeping toward Yan Shang like a whirlwind. As Yan Shang dodged, the hair by his ear was shorn off by the cold blade, and the freezing steel grazed his cheek. This time, the sword in Han Shuxing’s hand pressed against Yan Shang's throat, leaving him unable to move.

At the same time, Yunshu’s voice rang out from outside: "Langjun, is everything alright?"

Han Shuxing was startled. Locking eyes with Yan Shang's gentle, calm gaze, he realized that Yan Shang had been knocking over the antique shelves and vases just to alert the servants outside.

With the sword pressing against his throat, Yan Shang could not move, yet he still smiled slightly and whispered: "This is my territory. Not to mention the guards of the manor, the Princess's residence is right next door, with even more private soldiers. Your sword is fast, but I suspect I can speak faster than that. And though I might die, you would find it difficult to escape with your life."

"Are you truly willing to accompany me to my death?"

Han Shuxing showed no expression.

Yan Shang looked at him, still speaking in a low voice: "I don't know what kind of misunderstanding led you to want to kill me. Why don't we sit down and talk it through? I will tell the servants outside to withdraw, and you can move your sword. You are confident in your martial arts; I believe that as long as I am here, you can kill me at any time, right?"

"Han Shuxing, let's talk."

Han Shuxing stared at him.

He stared at this elegant young man, who was like a gentle breeze and bright moon, and thought of his brothers who had died on the mountain.

Han Shuxing's eyes were bloodshot. He lowered the sword in his hand.

He said in a hoarse voice: "I was the one who killed the Yizhou Governor."

Yan Shang nodded: "When you came to assassinate me, I guessed that you were that knight-errant. It's just that the court is currently hunting you; I didn't expect you wouldn't flee, but instead return to Chang'an and risk death to kill me. May I ask what heinous thing I have done that makes you hate me to the bone?"

Han Shuxing said: "Those brothers on the mountain, seventy-two of them, you met them all. You said you would save them, let them have their civilian status restored. But they all died."

Yan Shang's expression went blank, the polite, practiced smile vanishing from his face.

He stared dazedly at Han Shuxing, watching as Han Shuxing suddenly threw his sword aside and slumped onto the floor.

The room was quiet; snow fell outside.

Yan Shang sat by the furnace fire, listening to Han Shuxing recount his journey—

"…I went to challenge those mountain bandits to avenge my brothers. When I was about to kill the last man, he was probably terrified of dying. He told me that it was the government that gave the order to kill all the brothers who had recovered their civilian status. They had done business with the government."

"I said it was impossible. The Yizhou Governor had been taken to the capital, and all the activities of Yizhou officials were being monitored; how could they dare give such an order? But the bandit said it was the new government officials sent to Yizhou who made the deal with them."

"Second Young Master Yan, the moment you left, the official who replaced you gave the order to slaughter them. You people promised not to treat the citizens who had regained their civilian status as mountain bandits, and yet the next moment, you had them killed. If you had decided not to give us a way to live from the beginning, why bother acting in the middle, why restore their status? Was it just to build your own reputation?"

Yan Shang’s face turned slightly pale.

The hand resting on the table trembled slightly.

He asked: "Which official gave the order, do you know?"

Han Shuxing retorted: "How would I know? Wasn't it all of you? Didn't all of you know what was going on? You were all in on it. You never believed that those people who had once been mountain bandits would become honest, law-abiding people after regaining their civilian status."

"Isn't that how you've always been? Always using big words to deceive us, always promising everything nicely. But the things you say, you don't even believe yourselves, do you? You officials… what do you see us as? As a string of numbers? As a line on your performance records?"

Han Shuxing’s eyes were red: "Are you suppressing mountain bandits? You are righteous, aren't you?"

Yan Shang’s brain was in chaos. He explained with difficulty: "Han Shuxing, it’s not the way you think. I don't know about this… If I had known, I would never have left Yizhou… If I had known… this matter was not reported to the court… I… I… it must be internal fighting here in Chang'an. You must understand that not all officials are of the same mind. Our orders are completely different; it might not have been the same person who gave the order…"

Han Shuxing said: "I don't understand your ways. You mean to say that some officials in Chang'an think differently from you—you wanted to save people, they wanted to kill them. Did your internal fighting sacrifice us?"

Yan Shang could not utter a single word.

Han Shuxing smiled bitterly.

He sat on the floor, silent for a long time. He stared at the burning candle, murmuring to himself: "Actually, I believed in you. I believed you were a good person. If you wanted to kill us from the start, why pretend in the middle? But I still blame you. Why give people hope? If you hadn't said they could regain their civilian status, why would they have come down from the mountain?"

"They trusted you, they trusted me, and that's why they came down. It was because they trusted me wrongly, and trusted you wrongly, that they were killed."

"I have been drifting for many years, from Wuman to Great Wei. The Wuman do not treat me as one of their own, and the Great Wei views me as an alien. I was turned into a slave by you, bought and sold in your markets. No one believes me. Even I don't know what tribe I belong to."

"I can't find a place to belong in Chang'an. But the longer I stay in your Great Wei, the more I learn your culture, and the more I want to belong. The Wuman demand to know why I help you Great Wei people, and no matter what I do, you Great Wei people will never trust an outsider. The more I understand your culture, the less I am accepted. I don't know why I came here; I don't know where I am going. I am not a Wuman, and I am not a Great Wei person. What am I?"

His eyes shimmered with tears.

Han Shuxing whispered: "That day you let me go, you told me to do what I wanted to do. As someone with no home and no roots, I didn't know what I could do. Until I met those brothers… They needed my help, they relied on my assistance. They called me the 'Second-in-Command', and it was as if I suddenly found the meaning of my existence."

He raised his head to look at Yan Shang, smiling miserably.

"Second Young Master, you fulfilled me, and then you destroyed me."

Yan Shang's expression changed, and he stood up abruptly. He crouched down and gripped Han Shuxing's shoulders. He stared at this haggard, unkempt man, seeing the hollow, bloodshot veins in his eyes, as if through his gaze, he could see those seventy-two lives.

Everyone was staring at him; everyone was questioning him: "Why?"

Yan Shang endured the immense pain and hatred in his heart, whispering: "I was wrong… Just trust me this once. Just watch; I will not let them die in vain."

Han Shuxing looked at him and suddenly collapsed on the ground, weeping bitterly. The tall man hunched his shoulders, his hands shaking, his crying hoarse and hopeless. Lives were filled in the gaps like a chasm; who could easily bypass that?

The candlelight swayed gently on the window, popped abruptly, and then sank into silence once more.

In the dead of night, Yan Shang settled Han Shuxing, hiding him in the manor. He instructed Yunshu to send food and drink at regular intervals and not let anyone discover that a wanted criminal of the court was hiding with them.

The next day, braving the snow, Yan Shang went out.

He should have gone to the Ministry of Revenue to work, but Yan Shang stood in front of the Secretariat for a long time, reluctant to go in. He turned and left, heading toward the Secretariat. When he had doubts in his heart, he wanted to see his teacher and ask for guidance.

When Yan Shang was led into the inner room, Chancellor Liu was not free. There were too many officials coming to see the Chancellor and ask for guidance every day; even as a student of Chancellor Liu, Yan Shang had to wait in line.

Chancellor Liu was in the middle of smashing a memorial onto an official's head, cursing with full vigor: "Ignoring the big picture for small gains, failing to put your life on the line for the greater cause! How do you do your work? Get out of here and reflect on your mistakes! For the next half year, don't bother coming to the Secretariat to report!"

The official was scolded until he looked like a grandson, scuttling away in a panic.

Yan Shang stood there, stunned, listening to Chancellor Liu teaching others.

"Ignoring the big picture for small gains."

"Failing to put your life on the line for the greater cause."

If this were used to describe him, how could it be wrong?

Since one must do great things, why spare one's own life?

Since there is already a decision in one's heart, why still hesitate and struggle? Why abandon the greater good for the sake of the 'small self'? Why abandon the greater picture for private concerns?

Yan Shang stood silently for a long time before suddenly turning and lifting the curtain to walk out. He no longer needed to ask his teacher; he already had the answer in his heart.

Small gains will not make me forget my life!

But the great cause shall not make me spare it!

Chancellor Liu took a sip of tea and heard a minor official say that the Second Young Master Yan had come and gone. Chancellor Liu was stunned for a moment, sighed, and didn't ask further.

Another Chancellor beside him said: "Your student is having a hard time lately; he probably came to seek your advice. Aren't you going to manage him?"

Chancellor Liu slowly poured himself a cup of hot wine and said casually: "His path is one he must walk himself."

The Chancellor asked with a smile: "Aren't you afraid he'll cause a huge catastrophe?"

Chancellor Liu turned his head to watch the snow falling over the world.

Draining the wine cup in his hand, he said boldly: "A young talent—how could he be afraid of causing trouble!"

After Yan Shang returned, he went straight to the North Ward and asked Chun Niang: "How are things between you and Zhang the Eleventh?"

Chun Niang quickly replied: "The Eleventh Young Master is indeed just as you expected, pursuing me. I am currently stalling him…"

Yan Shang interrupted: "No need to stall anymore. Listen to my instructions, and proceed like this…"

After giving his orders, he left the North Ward, sent a servant to invite the Prince of Qin for a drink, and then had Yunshu prepare horses, saying he wanted to find Mu Wanyao to leave the city.

Everything began to accelerate; all the clouds of gloom began to recede. The snow from the sky curled onto Yan Shang's robes, cold and silent, reflecting the delicate features of the young man.

With the horses ready, Yunshu trotted after Yan Shang. Seeing the stillness on the young master's face, he could not help but feel timid, whispering: "Langjun, are you really going to make your move? Didn't you say… didn't you say that without evidence, you couldn't possibly bring down those high-ranking officials in the Ministry of Revenue?"

Yan Shang said in a deep voice: "I have no evidence. But it is not that I have no methods."

"I was merely hesitating; I was merely misled by private feelings…"

Snowflakes landed on his eyelashes. He gazed into the vast expanse of snow and said softly: "Only now do I know I was wrong. Even if I die in the process, I cannot let this go unchecked."

"Seventy-two lives… in truth, it is more than seventy-two. The people of the world need someone to swim against the current and seek justice for them. I only hate that I woke up too late."

Yunshu asked: "Then, the Princess…"

Yan Shang closed his eyes and whispered: "…Consider it me going back on my word; consider me failing her."

"…Yet, I have no regrets!"