Tigers Sniff the Rose - Chapter 112

Chapter 112

Another vicious accusation.

Yan Shang thought that, out of all his experiences since falling for Mu Wanyao, this was surely the most unpleasant.

Even with her gentle, fragrant embrace, and even with her delicate beauty before him, he remained tormented, wavering back and forth in his heart.

Mu Wanyao held Yan Shang from behind, watching as he kept his head bowed, saying not a single word even when she falsely accused him of wanting to abandon her.

Yan Shang was truly the type of gentleman who rarely flared up. For other men, flying into a rage was a common occurrence, but for Yan Shang, gentleness was the norm. The only time he had truly lost his temper was during their previous arguments over children and marriage.

But this time, although he hadn’t returned to Chang’an for half a month, how could Mu Wanyao not have received reports from the Princess’s mansion? How could she not know that Yan Shang had returned to Chang’an ten days ago, that he had gone to the mansion to find her, and that he likely already knew she had faked an illness to lure him back?

And that was on top of what he had endured in Shuzhong.

He ought to be furious—even angrier than last time. For him to vent his rage on her would be the normal reaction. That was why his current silence made Mu Wanyao feel that the situation was dire.

Because he was like this, Mu Wanyao felt a sense of terror. She was afraid of him seeing reality clearly; she was afraid that after he had thought it over, he would decide they were ill-suited, reject her, and insist on parting ways.

Mu Wanyao was filled with fear, but as a princess who had never needed to pander to anyone, she truly didn’t know what kind of apology would be considered sincere. She simply held his waist from behind, thinking that even though he wasn’t speaking, he hadn’t pushed her away.

She smiled brightly: "You’ve spent half a year in Shuzhong; your shoulders have grown broader, yet your waist is still this slender."

Yan Shang said in a low voice: "Your Highness, let me put on some clothes first."

Naturally, Mu Wanyao would not let him speak properly. She clung tightly to him, nuzzling against him, then kissed the back of his ear, her voice soft and tender: "The Emperor is hosting a banquet; why didn’t you go? Judging by your appearance, you were planning to sleep this early? How can you fall asleep so soon?"

Yan Shang: "Why didn't you go?"

Seeing that he was willing to speak to her, a smile filled Mu Wanyao’s eyes. She continued to kiss him gently, like a dragonfly skimming the water, as she said: "If you don’t go, what would I go there for? I only wanted to see you."

"Half a year apart, and you don’t miss me at all, yet I miss you every single moment, Yan Er-gege."

Yan Shang’s heart softened.

He said softly: "I miss you, too."

Mu Wanyao was overjoyed at once. She pulled him to turn around and face her; Yan Shang did not resist much, allowing himself to be turned by her hand.

Mu Wanyao had changed her clothes. Unlike the layered skirts she wore when he saw her in the afternoon, she was now dressed in a pink and white paneled skirt with a high waistband and a long hem. Embroidered on the skirt’s hem was a sturdy plum tree, nimble and lively.

Behind Mu Wanyao was a desk originally used for placing books. With a light hop on her toes, she sat on the table, pulling Yan Shang toward her so he took a few steps closer.

She had him stand right beside her. With her feet dangling off the floor, she swung them back and forth, then threw her arms around his neck, forcing him to lower his head so she could kiss him.

Her fingers wound around his waist.

Amidst the soft rustling, she looked up and whispered to him: "I know you’re angry that I faked an illness to trick you, but I did it so you’d come back sooner. I heard you encountered assassination attempts in Shuzhong; if it wasn’t for the distance being too great for me to get there, I would have gone to save you. You were so unsafe there—how could I watch you risk your life and not return?"

Yan Shang looked down, his dark eyes fixed on her, as if weighing and judging.

Mu Wanyao’s lips brushed against his neck as she kissed him again and said: "I had people make you a heavy cloak, rabbit fur coats… You are a man from Lingnan; once in Chang’an, you’ll be more sensitive to the cold than us. I prepared these for you early so you could have an easier winter this year."

She tilted her head, pondering for a moment, then said with a pained heart: "But when I held you just now, I felt you had gotten thinner. It must be because Shuzhong was unkind and you didn’t adapt well. Tell me, do you want to eat more so I can fatten you up, or should I take your measurements again to adjust the clothes I’ve made for you?"

Yan Shang was stunned.

His cool fingers brushed against her porcelain-white cheeks as he watched her sitting obediently on the table, tilting her face up to let him observe her. He couldn’t describe the feeling in his heart: "You actually… made clothes for me? Before, you… never cared about me at all."

Mu Wanyao was slightly embarrassed: "I was ignorant back then. I’m learning how to take care of my own husband now. I’ve learned quite a bit from my fourth sister… Yan Er-gege, after half a year apart, I really have become much better than before. I’m not as spoiled and self-centered as I used to be. I’m learning to be considerate of you."

Yan Shang leaned down and embraced her.

Seeing him willing to hold her, Mu Wanyao was exceptionally happy. She turned her face to kiss him again, brushing her lips against his. Disturbed by her scent, he found himself losing focus for the first time while in such a position with Mu Wanyao.

He looked at her with a complicated expression.

A person's nature is inevitably influenced by their experiences.

She was afraid of facing problems head-on, yet she was capable of cutting them off cleanly.

She clung to him like a drowning person clutching at a straw, yet she could be incredibly resolute in making a clean break.

She was bold, yet cowardly. She was wanton, yet fragile. She was not stupid—far from it; she was actually quite sharp. She was clumsily and so subtly pandering to him, her beautiful eyes fixed on him as if to tell him, "I’m sorry," "I was wrong, but please don’t be angry."

Mu Wanyao’s features were stained with a moving, springtime allure. Under her mischief, Yan Shang’s already thin undergarment was left in a mess. She knew he had also been stirred—after being apart for so long, he couldn't possibly restrain himself. She laughed with a hint of pride, lifted her neck, and pulled his hand to caress herself.

Yan Shang suddenly said: "Just how deeply involved are you in this current affair?"

Mu Wanyao paused, lifting her eyes to look at him. She hesitated, then answered obediently: "I didn’t actually intervene; I only called you back."

The tight line of Yan Shang’s jaw relaxed slightly. What he feared most was that she was too deeply involved; if she were guilty of heinous crimes, even for him to protect her… would be wrong.

Yan Shang said again: "Is the Ministry of Revenue truly so deeply connected with the officials of Yizhou? Have they all accepted kickbacks from below…"

Mu Wanyao grew impatient: "Are you investigating a case! Are you interrogating me! Are you trying to get some answer from me?"

Yan Shang stopped speaking.

Mu Wanyao immediately realized her attitude was wrong; she had come to please Yan Shang, not to deepen the conflict between them. Mu Wanyao softened her demeanor and whispered: "Can’t we talk of love and affection? If you want to investigate matters, go ahead and do it yourself. Don’t ask me at a time like this; don’t treat me with this suspicious attitude at a time like this."

Yan Shang said: "I’m sorry. But, are you really…"

She blocked his mouth, refusing to let him speak further.

Affection flowed like water, and the moon outside the window shone bright.

Mu Wanyao tried hard to guide Yan Shang, keeping the conversation from becoming so tense. But he couldn't get into the mood, and after she endured it with patience for a long time, the interaction between the two of them became like torture. It left him unwilling, and she felt not a single bit of beauty in it.

Both were merely enduring.

And this endurance soon erupted.

At the critical moment, as he pressed against her slightly open collar, Mu Wanyao suddenly let out a sharp cry and tensed her entire body, giving him a start. Immediately, Mu Wanyao pushed him away, forcing him to retreat two steps. He grabbed her wrists to pull back her waist and check on her, but Mu Wanyao struck his arm with a resounding "slap."

Her eyes were brimming with tears from the pain: "How could you be so rough?"

She spoke without thinking: "I’ll overlook your poor skill, but now you aren’t even a little bit gentle. I wasn’t even feeling it, and you just went ahead? What do you take me for? A penance, a hardship, a task? Do you think it’s enough just for you to feel comfortable? Do you think I don’t feel pain?"

Yan Shang’s face turned pale and livid; it was the first time he had been told so bluntly that his performance was poor. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and through the candlelight and the light from the window, he saw her expression looked terrible and pale. Scolded like this, he couldn’t even care about the hurt of being suddenly pushed away; he immediately lowered his head, wanting to see where he had hurt her.

Yan Shang stammered: "I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would be like this. Did I hurt you? Are you injured? Let me see…"

Mu Wanyao: "Go away!"

She couldn’t stand this atmosphere anymore; no matter what, she wouldn’t let him touch her again. She jumped off the table, burning with rage as she tidied her clothes and walked out with a cold face. Yan Shang hurriedly fastened his belt, searching everywhere for his clothes so he could pursue her.

Mu Wanyao walked halfway, then turned back and threw something at Yan Shang.

It didn’t hurt, though.

Yan Shang grabbed the object she had hurled and looked down, seeing it was an ugly sachet. What was embroidered on it? Seaweed? A cockroach? Or a butterfly?

He suspected that the sachets his younger sister had embroidered at age twelve were much better than this thing she had thrown.

Mu Wanyao’s eyes were red and bright with anger. She held up her ten fingers and shook them, shouting furiously: "In order to embroider this one sachet for you, my ten fingers were almost pricked to pieces; my hands were swollen for a whole month! When you were acting so noble and upright, my heart was entirely filled with you!"

Yan Shang: "Yaoyao…"

He clutched the sachet, merely rushing to cover his loose collar. Mu Wanyao walked out again. He had so much he wanted to say to her that he chased after her, grabbing her wrist to prevent her from leaving.

The questions they both knew the answers to had to be spoken! They had to be resolved!

Yan Shang’s speech was rapid, fearing she would leave: "The matters in Shuzhong are indeed inseparable from the Ministry of Revenue, aren't they? Are you protecting them? Who are you trying to protect? Since you didn't give the order for this, you should not involve yourself further… Even if there is some loss, you are, after all, a Princess. Your status as a Princess will not suffer even the slightest harm…"

Held captive by him, Mu Wanyao found it ridiculous.

She said: "The manpower I lost, the political power I lost, the resources and reputation I built up with such difficulty… none of that counts?"

Yan Shang’s tone grew sharp: "What does any of that matter? I warned you before, I told you many times: craving power is not a major sin, but you must not be obsessed with it. You must not remain stubbornly lost, sinking deeper and deeper! You…"

Mu Wanyao stared at him.

She said softly: "Power isn't important? But Yan Shang, if there were no power, how could you be a Princess's consort? How could I marry you?"

Yan Shang was stunned, not knowing why the conversation had turned in this direction.

She watched him quietly, her eyes still holding the remnants of the tears from a moment ago; the expression in her eyes was one of deep exhaustion.

At this moment, Mu Wanyao did not look like a spoiled, capricious princess; a cold, desperate air of those in power radiated from her.

She stared into his eyes: "Yan Shang, before you left Chang’an, you chased after me for dozens of miles—what were you seeking? You were seeking for me to reconcile with you, for me to give you a deadline, so you wouldn't be left waiting for me in limbo, never knowing when you could stand beside me openly and honorably."

"I remembered your words, and I have been striving to give you an answer. Without power, could I achieve that answer? If I lost my current status, would the Li family let me go? Would the Crown Prince let me go? You seek the well-being of the common people and the stability of the nation; what I seek is to survive—to survive in splendor, without being coerced by anyone."

"I kept thinking that as long as the power in my hands made the Crown Prince wary, and as long as the Li family was forced to rely on me, I could negotiate terms with them. I could tell everyone that I want Yan Shang to be my consort. Only when the power in my hands reaches the point where others cannot look down on me can I be free to marry whom I wish and live the life I desire."

A tear fell from her eye, splashing onto the arm Yan Shang was using to hold her.

His chest felt constricted; many of his accusations against her were silenced by that single tear.

Tears fell from Mu Wanyao’s eyes, yet her expression remained stubborn and unyielding: "You’ve been gone for half a year, and I have thought very seriously about how long it would take me to give you the deadline you want. I set a goal for myself of two years. Within two years, I will marry you, and I will ensure that the Li family and the Crown Prince offer no opposition."

"If I don’t rely on myself, could I possibly rely on you? Yan Shang, you have never been willing to use public office for personal gain; I cannot count on you. I fell in love with a man who is entirely dedicated to the public good; I do not blame you. This is the path I chose for myself, and I will walk it alone. You say my love for power is abnormal and you want me to let go… Yan Shang, if you have not tasted the suffering of others, do not call them wicked. I am not as good as you imagine, but I am not evil beyond redemption, either."

"Our positions are different—that is not my wish. However, if you are determined to cross swords with me, I will not retreat a single step, nor will I go soft on you."

"Yan Shang, the day you pledged your loyalty to me, I said that once you were no longer of use to me, and once we took different paths, I would kill you. Now… let us see who has the greater ability."

She shook off his hand and walked away. He chased her for two steps, stopping at the doorway, only to see the back of her as she departed in sorrow. Confusion and a profound bitterness welled up in Yan Shang’s heart. In this world, many things are not simply black and white. If he is to help some people, he must inevitably harm others.

He firmly believed he was right.

Yet, Mu Wanyao was not choosing to be his enemy for the sake of doing evil. She was doing it for self-preservation, for the sake of… the day they could marry without being questioned by others and without being abandoned.

That night, it began to rain in the small hours.

Yan Shang did not sleep the whole night, thinking of many things; Mu Wanyao also didn’t sleep, her eyes reddened from exhaustion.

Another person who couldn't sleep was Liu Wenji.

Liu Wenji sat in a dark room, all alone, pouring glass after glass of wine for himself. Since he began to control the Northern Imperial Guards, he spent much less time serving at the Emperor’s side. Just like this night, he had time to hide in his room and drink away his sorrows.

As the liquid went down, it burned in his stomach, while the scene that kept playing over and over in his mind was the one from the evening: Chun Hua holding her child, her face full of gentle smiles by the water’s edge.

Liu Wenji was expressionless.

Ever since he was castrated and entered the palace, he had been busy with various affairs, dealing with all sorts of people. He made himself exceptionally tired and exceptionally humble. Because only in this way could he forget Chun Hua.

A year had passed.

He hadn’t thought of Chun Hua even once.

Not even once.

Only by not thinking of her could he survive. Only by not thinking of her could he convince himself.

But she had appeared today, caught off guard, with a husband who loved her and a son who depended on her. She lived happily, her smile as clear and radiant as morning dew.

Liu Wenji was both jealous and heartbroken. Now, hiding in the darkness, clutching his increasingly twisted heart full of scars, he could only shed tears by himself—

Why did she have to be the one to see him like this?

Why did she have to see? To let her see that the man she had loved had become a eunuch—and a eunuch with blood-stained hands at that.

Was she meant to pity him? To feel sorry for him?

Heaven allows people to fall in love, but forgetting each other early is what should follow; why is it that the final thing left behind must be pity?

He resented this fate, and he was unwilling to accept such a destiny! —

Liu Wenji sat withered for the entire night, listening to the muffled rain. At dawn, the rain ceased. Liu Wenji washed his face, knowing his state was not suitable to serve His Majesty. Just as he was about to request leave, a eunuch outside knocked on his door.

Liu Wenji wearily let the man in.

The eunuch whispered in his ear: "Gonggong, Luo Xiu is dead."

Liu Wenji’s eyes snapped open.

The eunuch smiled obsequiously: "We didn’t kill him; when we found him, he was lying in the water, already swollen. We found him on the hill behind a certain gentleman’s residence… That gentleman helped us dispose of Luo Xiu, and he said that we could claim Luo Xiu died by drowning after getting drunk. If anyone investigates, that gentleman will help us testify."

Liu Wenji stared at him fixedly.

Looking at the eunuch’s expression, he immediately understood: "…So someone has come to present a token of allegiance? Ha. Scholars have always looked down on us; I wonder which one is so far-sighted?"

The eunuch whispered: "It is Scholar Zhao."

Liu Wenji frowned; he had never heard of such a figure. But a scholar… an insignificant, high-ranking official of the minor nobility, it was normal that he hadn’t heard of him.

The eunuch: "That Master Zhao wants to pay you a visit, Gonggong. I wonder if you are willing to see him?"

A malicious, mocking smile appeared at the corners of Liu Wenji’s lips.

His voice was soft, indifferent: "See him! Why wouldn’t I? If scholars come to pledge allegiance… there will be more in the future."

He looked down at his long, slender fingers, where the blood from yesterday was still faintly visible. The smile at the corners of his lips deepened, his voice softer and twisted: "Just watch, this is only the beginning. The scholarly clans who come to attach themselves to me will only increase in number…"

Power, like a monster, entices everyone, dragging them all into hell.

That increasingly swelling ambition, that power he became ever more reluctant to let go of… once one has tasted its sweetness, who could be willing to give it up? —

Yan Shang, however, was single-mindedly intent on pulling Mu Wanyao out of it.

Mu Wanyao remained at the imperial gardens in Fanchuan. The next day, Yan Shang went there again to seek an audience. With the Emperor present, Mu Wanyao could not engage in the usual bickering and posturing of young lovers under the Emperor’s nose, so she had no choice but to let Yan Shang in.

Yet, though she let him in, she paid him no mind.

In the hall, warmed by burning charcoal, Mu Wanyao reclined on a daybed, drinking wine cup after cup. Yan Shang sat to the side, speaking to her in low tones, urging her to drink less, or perhaps persuading her of other matters.

When Chun Hua entered to pay her respects to the Princess, this was what she saw.

It gave Chun Hua a sense of déjà vu—as if it were just like when she was in the Princess’s mansion, where the Princess would always be sullenly ignoring Yan Er-lang, and Yan Er-lang would be gently and patiently soothing the Princess.

Mu Wanyao lifted her eyelids and saw Chun Hua.

After the pleasantries were exchanged and Chun Hua took her seat, she appeared somewhat uneasy; after sitting in a daze several times, she finally gathered the courage: "Your Highness, I saw Liu Wenji."

The hand Mu Wanyao had been using to hold her wine goblet stopped. She was already somewhat muddled from the wine, yet her consciousness remained, and she heard what Chun Hua was saying all at once. Mu Wanyao looked toward Chun Hua, and Yan Shang, sitting beside the Princess, also looked over, stunned.

Chun Hua held back the tears in her eyes.

She knew she shouldn't ask, but after seeing Liu Wenji like that yesterday… she couldn't help but ask.

Chun Hua did not dare to show anything in front of Prince Jin; she had held it in until she reached the Princess, and finally, the tears fell unexpectedly. She panicked as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes, yet they only fell faster.

Chun Hua’s eyes were red, and in her heart, how could she have no grievances? How could she not blame someone?

She trembled: "Your Highness… didn’t you promise me you would take care of him? Why did he become a eunuch? Why isn't he a man with a wife and children, a full family? Why did it have to end like this?"

The hand with which Mu Wanyao held the goblet trembled slightly.

She clenched her jaw, her cheeks flushed red from the wine, then slowly turned pale.

She had a splitting headache and felt agitated in her heart, yet she forced herself to endure it.

Mu Wanyao reached out and pushed Yan Shang’s arm. Frowning and enduring her own distress, she vaguely told Yan Shang to get up: "Go speak with her; go tell her how this happened… You have a good temper, you take my place and speak to her!"

Yan Shang sighed; before leaving, he only instructed Xia Rong to keep an eye on her and ensure Mu Wanyao drank no more wine.

Xia Rong was left in a panic, thinking, "If you, Yan Er-lang, cannot control her, how can I persuade her?"

Sure enough, she tried to persuade the Princess twice, only to be chased out of the hall to endure the cold wind—

When Yan Shang returned, two quarter-hours had already passed. The charcoal in the hall had gone out. He saw Mu Wanyao slumped over the table, her hand supporting her forehead. She seemed to be in extreme pain, tapping her forehead with her fingers.

Seeing her like this, Yan Shang was both angry and full of pity. He sat down and leaned over to look at her, and Mu Wanyao suddenly woke up and reached out to push him away.

Yan Shang was slightly annoyed: "Yaoyao!"

Mu Wanyao turned her face to look at him and asked: "Has Chun Hua left?"

Yan Shang suppressed his worry for her and gave a light "mm": "I told her what happened, sat with her while she cried for a while, and offered her a few words of comfort. Don't worry, when she left, I had a maid take her to wash her face; no one will be able to see that she had been crying here."

Mu Wanyao said: "It is my place, not our place."

Yan Shang didn’t speak.

Mu Wanyao closed her eyes and mocked herself: "I must be truly cursed. Everyone who has a tragedy comes to settle their accounts with me; everyone comes to me to demand an explanation. It is as if I were the one who castrated Liu Wenji, as if I were the one who went to Shuzhong to do evil. I should be torn apart by five horses and die to repent for my sins before you will be satisfied."

Yan Shang felt heartbroken: "You saying that is like carving into my heart. If I thought that way, why would I still be sitting here?"

Mu Wanyao: "I don’t know why you are still sitting here, either! Shouldn’t you be checking the ledgers, investigating, and thinking of how to pull me down from my position? Why are you here? Seeking sympathy? Seeking comfort?"

Yan Shang was silent for a moment.

He said: "I am in the Ministry of Revenue now, a marginalized figure who can touch nothing. How can I investigate?"

Mu Wanyao sneered: "Then you truly deserve it."

Yan Shang had been troubled by this matter, always keeping that nerve taut, and at this moment, he was also mentally and physically exhausted. He said wearily: "Can you not be like this? If there is a problem, we can resolve it. Mocking me with such caustic sarcasm—can you find comfort in that, and what benefit could it bring you?"

Mu Wanyao was silent for a while, then said: "I thought that by not killing you, I was showing you mercy. Yan Shang, you must know, if anyone else had impinged upon my interests to this extent…"

Yan Shang said: "If it were anyone else, I would not be so constrained by the situation."

Mu Wanyao grew alert.

She looked at him, and he looked back at her.

Sitting beside her, the two looked together out of the hall.

Yan Shang said slowly: "I don’t want to pursue this too far, and I don't have that capability anyway. What is important now is not assigning blame, but remediation. I have been sidelined by you people, and I truly cannot find any evidence… Yaoyao, do not force me to investigate; I do not want us to both suffer and lose everything, with no one gaining any benefit. I need you to offer compensation—compensation for the common people of Shuzhong."

"The officials in Shuzhong, though only the Prefect of Yizhou died—as for the other officials… I hope they can be replaced. But I have already reached an agreement with those officials; I cannot go back on my word. That, then, is a matter you must compensate for."

"The spring examinations next year will bring in a new batch of officials. I want your promise that you will allow this batch of officials to enter the court to fill the vacancies in Shuzhong."

Mu Wanyao said nothing.

Yan Shang gently took her hand; she trembled and struggled, but she did not pull away. Yan Shang was lost in thought for a while, then said: "Yaoyao, I know the reason you are like this is because you have never seen the truly suffering people. A girl who can read 'The Giant Rat' with me, a girl who can say those things to Zhao Wuniang, could never be a cruel princess who treats human life like straw."

"You just haven’t seen, you just don’t understand. Yaoyao, when the spring plowing arrives next year, let's find a way to leave Chang’an together. I must make you see what the common people are really like… not the way you imagine them, or the way you see them in books. Once you see them, you will understand why I stand on their side."

Mu Wanyao turned her face and watched him quietly.

Changing the subject entirely, she suddenly brought up a topic: "I have prepared your capping ceremony, and I have asked your teacher to place the cap for you. It will be in a few days."

Yan Shang was stunned: "My capping ceremony?"

Mu Wanyao’s lips carried a hint of self-mocking laughter.

She lowered her eyes and said: "Your heart is in the people’s livelihood, in the world. But I have only you in my heart."

Her eyes stared at the horizon outside the hall, where there wasn't a single cloud, as she said softly: "I am too insignificant, too pathetic, too laughable, aren’t I?"

"I have always been too insignificant, too pathetic, and too laughable to you, haven’t I?"

Yan Shang watched her, stunned, and reached out an arm, pulling her—half-intoxicated as she was—into his embrace. This time, ignoring her struggle, he hugged her tightly, his burning heart pressed against her cold body.

As if swearing an oath, he whispered into her ear: "I will watch over you. I will surely watch over you."

"I will not let you walk the wrong path. I will definitely pull you back." —

After Yan Shang coaxed Mu Wanyao to sleep, he left Fanchuan. He went to the Ministry of Revenue once, then soon left again. Because he was sidelined in the Ministry of Revenue, there was truly nothing he could do. The Ministry was on guard against him, and he had absolutely nothing to do all day, so he might as well leave.

But this did not mean that Yan Shang could be more relaxed.

There was breaking news in the court: Luo Xiu was dead.

Yan Shang, who had been responsible for investigating the person behind Luo Xiu, was immediately alerted: Luo Xiu’s death could not possibly have been an accident.