When I Meet the Moon - Chapter 77

Chapter 77

The night grew heavier, and the light inside the car was dim.

Yun Li turned toward Fu Shize and placed her left hand over Fu Shize's as well.

For such a long time, she had always known that Fu Shize had something on his mind, yet she never imagined that this matter would torment him like this, accompanying him like a shadow.

The campus broadcasting began its evening announcements, and Yun Li realized that they were still inside Xikeda—it was hard to imagine what kind of mindset he was in every time he walked back to the experimental building.

When they reunited, she had thought he had returned to his pedestal, completely unaware of everything he was carrying on his back.

Nor had she ever thought about how he managed to return to campus after witnessing that kind of scene with his own eyes.

Yun Li recalled his previous words: "I wanted to become my former self again before looking for you." A terrifying thought suddenly surfaced in her mind, a thought that would cause her to be tormented by boundless guilt.

He only looked like his former self; his inner self was still riddled with thousands of holes.

Yun Li loosened her hand slightly, her tone carrying a trace of tremor: "You've been faking it this whole time, haven't you?"

After the words left her mouth, she felt Fu Shize stiffen for a split second.

A brief silence followed.

"Mn," Fu Shize said. "I thought you would like it."

Her heart felt as though it had been suddenly squeezed by someone.

He was faking it for her to see.

Yun Li took a few deep breaths. Just as Fu Shize wanted to say something more, he raised his gaze only to see her lowering her eyes, tears congealing at the edges of her eyelids and dropping one by one directly onto the storage compartment.

She pressed her lips together without uttering a word.

Fu Shize paused for a moment, then silently scraped away her tears with his knuckles.

Yun Li lowered her head, still trying to control the stability of her voice: "I genuinely hope you're doing well." She couldn't continue, her voice choking uncontrollably. "Really, I hope you're doing very, very well."

In this relationship, Yun Li was the one who initiated it first, but throughout the course of their time together, from beginning to end, he had practically done everything he possibly could.

Even if they had separated, she should have been the one suffering more; it shouldn't have been Fu Shize.

He had already suffered enough, and was in enough agony.

"Mn." Fu Shize cupped Yun Li's face with his right hand, his thumb gently rubbing her lower eyelid to repeatedly wipe away newly spilled tears. His voice was somewhat husky. "Lili, stop crying."

Yun Li wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and stammered incoherently, "When I said before that I wanted you to return to school, I didn't mean it like that. I just wanted your life to get a little better." She cried in an utterly disheveled state. "You don't have to force yourself to do these things. If you don't want to talk to people, then don't talk. You don't have to force yourself to be so sunny and motivated..."

Don't force yourself for her sake anymore, making yourself even more distressed and tormented.

"After getting back together with you," Fu Shize gently stroked her head and said in a low voice, "I stopped faking it. I quite like being able to interact with you in my current state."

It had been a very long time since he had felt the warmth of the sun in a normal way.

As it turned out, he actually missed it quite a bit.

Staring into his eyes, Yun Li wiped the corners of her eyes herself and blankly asked, "But you'll still have nightmares and insomnia."

Fu Shize thought about it seriously. "Once we live together in the future, I won't."

Yun Li was choked up by his words, snapping out of her sorrowful mood. After thinking for a moment, she said glumly, "Then won't you still have to stay in this state for a long time."

Fu Shize laughed. "Then I can only hope that day comes sooner."

When they were in Nanwu, the two of them could be considered to have cohabited for a period of time. Things changed after returning to Xifu, and her moving out would encounter considerable resistance. Yun Li said earnestly, "This time, let's still confirm our relationship before cohabiting."

Fu Shize went along with her words. "That's what I meant too."

"..."

What meant what?

Yun Li paused and looked at him for confirmation. His expression was calm, but his eyes conveyed a single meaning.

Yes, it meant exactly what you think it means.

Yun Li's face instantly flushed red. Forgetting all the previous conversations and worries, she blurted out, "No way."

"?"

"This is way too informal," Yun Li said with a grievance.

Fu Shize recalled what he had said and reminded her, "What I said just now was that I hope that day comes sooner."

His meaning was that they weren't going to confirm their relationship today and immediately proceed to cohabitate.

Yun Li suddenly felt she was being too narcissistic, and in a flurry of awkwardness said, "Let's go eat."

Before Fu Shize could finish what he was saying, remembering how she had practically bolted out the words 'no way', he said nonchalantly, "On the official day, I won't give you a chance to refuse either."

...

After eating, Fu Shize held Yun Li's hand and strolled over to the sports field. The spectator stands were to the side, and the two of them found a spot to sit down, looking out from afar at the students on the plastic running track.

Fu Shize pointed out a direction where quite a few students were working out. "At the time, it was pretty much this direction."

It had already been nine years since that year's robot soccer match.

As it turned out, he had seen her nine years ago.

Yun Li: "Why were you even over by the sports field back then?"

Fu Shize: "I was bored at the time, passing by there, and saw that your robot wasn't moving at all. You probably forgot to turn it on when you first operated it, and you tried for about half an hour."

"Oh, is that how it was..." Yun Li couldn't believe she would make such a low-level mistake.

"Later I watched for a bit. When it finally moved for the first time, you probably pressed the wrong button. Chen Luo didn't tell you, but that controller was homemade; the buttons were a bit different from conventional ones."

Chen Luo was the name of her team captain back then. Yun Li paused for a moment. "You know him?"

Fu Shize answered indifferently, "Mn, I helped him make that controller."

Yun Li: "..."

Yun Li said in utter bafflement, "How is that possible?"

Fu Shize: "?"

Yun Li: "We actually managed to place in the rankings in the end."

He recounted the events of that entire day to her bit by bit, including many details that Yun Li had completely forgotten. He recalled this matter with extreme fluency, as if he had already mentally organized it for himself many times beforehand.

"Later you used the robot to push stones. Your group's robot didn't have soccer-kicking code written into it, so it could only push straight ahead. But the motor power of the robot you took was too low, so it couldn't push them."

Listening to this, Yun Li was utterly bewildered. She asked incomprehensibly, "How do you even know the code and power of my robot?"

"Jiang Yuan recognized that your robot was built by Chen Luo, so I went back and asked him." When mentioning Jiang Yuan, Fu Shize's tone didn't change very much.

"I went to watch your competition on the day of the match, too."

She had the lingering feeling that he had formed an impression of her a very long time ago. Yun Li curved her lips and smiled. "Weren't you only fifteen years old back then, secretly staring at me for so long." She felt this description wasn't quite accurate. "No, wait, secretly staring at a girl for so long."

"The person I was looking at was you." Unwilling to be wrongfully accused, Fu Shize chuckled with amusement. "Though I regret it now."

Yun Li: "Ah?"

Fu Shize hooked his finger around hers. "I should have just come straight to find you back then."

Yun Li directly ruled out this possibility. "Then I wouldn't have engaged in puppy love; I was famously a good student in my class."

Fu Shize raised his eyebrows slightly. "Puppy love doesn't equal a bad student."

"Me back then would have thought puppy love meant being a bad student." Yun Li uttered this sentence slowly.

Seeing her stubborn appearance, Fu Shize felt as though he might be talking to a brick wall. He didn't mind, leaning closer to her ear to continue: "Then accompany me in being a bad student for two years."

"...Until you graduate from high school, and then it won't be puppy love anymore."

Realizing it belatedly, a surge of heat rushed to Yun Li's cheeks. After a moment, Fu Shize continued to ask, "Then shouldn't I make up to you for the years we missed?"

Those profound eyes held a special meaning. Yun Li could distinctly feel his arm resting between her back and the plastic stool, gradually tightening to clasp her waist.

She licked her lips and asked, "How do you make up for it?"

"Make up to you for some things we naturally would have done?" Fu Shize asked her with composed ease.

Yun Li didn't pretend not to understand either. Cooperatively pressing closer to his body, she asked first, "Are there security cameras around here?"

Fu Shize let out a laugh. "No."

"Good." Yun Li leaned close to the corner of his lips. "Then make up for it."

...

Close to nine o'clock, after receiving a message from Yunye, Yun Li remembered that she needed to send him back to school.

Romance messed with one's mind; she couldn't remember how many times she had forgotten. Hastily bidding farewell to Fu Shize, she went home and brought Yunye to school.

After returning home, she dug that small soccer ball out from a pile of sundries; it still had the smiley face drawn on it by the other person.

Recalling the pale expression on Fu Shize's face when he spoke about this matter today, she remembered how he had been tormented by this incident day and night over the past few years.

Her nose stung.

Clearly, this wasn't his fault either.

Wiping away the tears at the corners of her eyes, Yun Li felt an urgent desire to see Fu Shize again. She lay down on her bed and video-called Fu Shize.

"Lili."

As soon as the call connected, his voice came straight through the phone. The volume was just right, carrying a lingering tenderness that made her numb all over.

Yun Li hurriedly raised her head to glance at her bedroom door, then scrambled up to find her headphones and put them on.

Fu Shize was already in his dorm. He had just finished showering, with a towel draped over his hair. A few strands of hair blocked his eyes, and beads of water were sliding down his hair strands.

"..."

Yun Li's gaze shifted downward; his upper body wasn't wearing clothes at all. The camera frame only captured down to his distinct collarbones, yet his shoulders, half-concealed within the towel, still invited wild imagination.

Yun Li: "I'm hanging up."

Fu Shize had originally been looking down while wiping the water off his body, but he glanced up at the camera.

He hadn't turned on the main lights; the focused, bright white light of the desk lamp hit the corner of his eye, and his moisture-filled dark eyes carried a hint of confusion.

"..."

Fu Shize: "Not video calling anymore?"

This visual made Yun Li's face flush, and she choked out a few words: "You're indecently dressed."

Fu Shize looked down at himself. The white towel occupied most of the frame, showing only his chin and moving stray locks of hair.

Fu Shize chuckled inwardly. "Then wait a moment." Imitating her tone, he said solemnly, "I shall adjust my attire."

He didn't hang up the call. As he stood up, the towel beneath his phone dragged it right over.

Earlier Yun Li had only been able to see down to his collarbones, but when he propped the phone back up, she saw his calm face pushed right up against the lens. At this moment his entire upper body was bare, and his lower body was wearing loose black pajama pants.

"..."

Fu Shize slowly turned around, retrieved a white T-shirt from his wardrobe, slipped it on, and sat back in front of the camera, wiping his hair as he said, "All adjusted."

"..."

An inexplicable urge not to be outdone welled up in her. Yun Li feigned calmness and said, "Doesn't your dorm building not have a restroom? Did you go to the communal shower room on the floor?"

Fu Shize seemed to be contemplating the purpose behind her asking this. A few seconds later, he gave a lazy "Mn."

Yun Li continued: "Then did you just walk back to your dorm from the hallway with your chest bare?"

"..."

Yun Li frowned. "When you brought me there last time, the Ph.D. building had mixed dorms, and some people would bring their girlfriends over." Her tone already held dissatisfaction: "Do you feel like it doesn't matter if they saw you?"

"No." Fu Shize paused, seemingly feeling that this answer wasn't accurate enough, and added, "I didn't."

Yun Li let out an "oh," then asked slowly, "So you went back to your dorm and then deliberately took off your shirt to video chat with me?"

"..."

Her eyes stared straight at the camera: "And then..." She deliberately dragged out her tone: "You put it back on all theatrically?"

Whatever Fu Shize answered right now would be wrong. He let out a low laugh, ignored Yun Li, and went back to wiping his hair on his own.

Not expecting that this time she would directly expose Fu Shize's little trick, she suddenly felt a bit light-headed and laughed, "You can't talk your way out of it this time."

Fu Shize gave a yielding "Mn," paused for a few seconds, and raised his gaze to look at her.

After drying his hair, Fu Shize hung the towel on the rack. He placed his phone in front of his pillow, burying half of his face into the pillow while his hair remained damp. His eyes gazed at a book off to the side, looking like a lazy cat.

Yun Li stared at the pupils on the screen, truly feeling that there were no longer any reservations left between them.

After a long while, she couldn't help saying, "I love you."

The chin Fu Shize was resting on the pillow shifted, straightening his upper body slightly as he lazily spoke to the lens.

"I love you."

Afterward, he simply slumped back down, looking at the book beside him.

Yun Li couldn't help saying again, "I love you."

Fu Shize's gaze didn't shift back to the camera: "How many times do you want to say it?"

Yun Li: "How many times can I say it?"

Fu Shize hooked his lips: "As many as you want." Just as he had said, he responded to what she had just uttered.

—"I love you."

Words of loving you, you can say them however many times you want.

However many times you want me to say them, you can have that too.