When I Meet the Moon - Chapter 67

Chapter 67

After sitting down, Yun Li turned her head to glance at Xu Qingsong. He didn't seem to have changed much, wearing a well-fitted navy blue printed shirt as he leisurely watched the performance on stage.

Her gaze drifted over to Fu Shize.

They were meeting again.

She straightened her posture and waited for the opening.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Xu Qingsong leaving his seat, prompting Yun Li to proactively ask Fu Shize, "Are you ever going back to EAW?"

"I've never gone back." Fu Shize rested his hands on his knees and turned his head. "Why do you ask?"

"Seeing President Xu reminded me that I haven't played VR games in a long time."

Saying those words, Yun Li suddenly remembered that every single VR game she had ever played up until now had been accompanied by Fu Shize.

Her heart hitched. Fu Shize paused for a moment, lifting his eyelashes to look at her. "Do you want to go?"

Yun Li seemed to catch a hint of an invitation in those words. She clenched her palms and let out a long, soft murmur of assent.

Once she finished speaking, she stared straight ahead. As the musicians took their places and the melodious music filled the venue, she heard him give a brief reply.

"Then I'll go with you."

The corners of Yun Li's lips curved upward. Feeling that she was being a bit too obvious, she reined in her smile as a cover. Deep down, she thought to herself that choosing to reward herself after getting her interview results was a thoroughly correct decision.

Even though she didn't possess much musical talent, couldn't quite appreciate these graceful or majestic pieces, and even felt sleepiness creeping up on her—

Coming here meant that Fu Shize would occasionally lean in close to tell her about the creators and stories behind each piece.

To her, a proper performance seemed to have turned into Fu Shize's exclusive lecture.

His voice was lazy yet stood out clearly amidst the background music, though a few syllables were occasionally swallowed up by the instruments.

Without realizing it, Yun Li closed the distance between them, wanting to hear him more clearly.

She hadn't paid attention to the gap between them, and by the time she realized it, there was already a warm sensation brushing against her earlobe.

"..."

What had she just touched?

Feeling like she had been struck by lightning, Yun Li covered her right ear, recoiled to the side, and turned her head in sheer awkwardness.

Fu Shize looked somewhat stunned as well.

"Did I bump into something?" Yun Li wasn't quite sure if it was just her imagination; they still seemed to be sitting quite far apart, and she was probably making too much of a fuss over nothing.

"..."

She felt like she had taken advantage of him.

Desperate to explain herself, Yun Li swallowed hard and said, "I couldn't really hear what you said just now."

Given their current relationship, Yun Li felt she owed him some sort of explanation one way or another, otherwise it would seem like she was harassing him. After agonizing for a moment, she turned back and added, "So I leaned in a bit closer."

"It's fine. It looks like I kissed you."

"..."

Yun Li had no idea how he managed to say something like that with a completely straight face. Having said that, Fu Shize followed up with proper decorum: "Sorry."

"..."

After this little episode, Yun Li consciously maintained her distance from Fu Shize. Yet he seemed to have completely forgotten what had just happened, leaning in close to her right ear once again: "It's fine."

With what had just transpired as a precedent, this movement felt infinitely more ambiguous now.

Fu Shize showed no intention of pulling back, simply saying, "I want to make sure you can hear clearly, too."

In the dim lighting, Yun Li's right ear was already burning red. Fu Shize let out a soft chuckle. "Don't worry. I'll keep my distance."

Those words were meant to reassure Yun Li that the previous accident wouldn't happen again.

Even though it was her ear that had brushed against his lips, she should have been the one maintaining distance.

Recalling that tactile sensation, Yun Li cast a stealthy glance at Fu Shize. He was looking toward the stage; his lips were thin and soft, slightly pale in color, taking on an intensely alluring quality as the stage lighting shifted.

Her face flushed even brighter as a wave of heat spread across her cheeks.

Finding it increasingly difficult to suppress the fluttering in her chest, Yun Li excused herself to the restroom and left her seat.

Entering the restroom, Yun Li stared at herself in the mirror, noticing that the lipstick at the corners of her mouth had faded slightly.

Lowering her gaze, she washed her hands and retrieved a tube of lipstick from her bag.

She paused.

She had the distinct feeling that she was on a date.

No matter what she had thought previously, seeing him again still made it impossible for her to avoid being drawn to Fu Shize.

Once her wildly pounding heart finally calmed down, Yun Li stepped out of the restroom.

Unable to find the way back, she had no choice but to walk along the corridor. The hallway featured a striking, minimalist design that contrasted sharply with the venue's interior. It was completely empty, with its outer walls constructed entirely of transparent glass.

Gazing out at the dark night sky, Yun Li took out her phone.

Yun Li: [Qiqi, I ran into Fu Shize at a performance.]

Deng Chuqi: ['Ran' into him?]

Yun Li: [I literally ran into him. And Xu Qingsong is here too. It feels just like what you said.]

Yun Li: [We really do have a connection.]

Just as she turned around to head back, Xu Qingsong's figure appeared around the corner.

He seemed lost in thought, strolling casually toward Yun Li's vicinity before finally noticing her presence.

Earlier, Xu Qingsong had claimed he was leaving his seat to go to the restroom, but the direction he was coming from was the exact opposite of the restrooms.

It looked much more like he had been wandering aimlessly around the gymnasium with nothing to do.

Though surprised that he hadn't returned for so long, Yun Li instantly understood that he had been deliberately creating space for her and Fu Shize.

Seeing Yun Li, Xu Qingsong didn't look the least bit awkward, greeting her with poised naturalness: "Out for some fresh air?"

"Yeah."

Even when she was with Fu Shize, Yun Li had never been particularly close to Xu Qingsong.

After standing there like a wooden post for a brief moment, Yun Li felt an urge to hurry back to where Fu Shize was.

"I heard you just came back from abroad?" Xu Qingsong asked. "Are you looking for a job?"

Yun Li: "Yeah, it's pretty much settled."

"How long has it been since you two broke up?" Xu Qingsong's topic shifted abruptly, yet his tone carried zero oppressive pressure.

Yun Li was momentarily caught off guard, replying sluggishly, "A year and a half."

In truth, Xu Qingsong likely already knew the exact timing of their breakup.

Xu Qingsong wasn't the gossipy type; whatever Fu Shize hadn't told Yun Li, he had no intention of presumptuously bringing up either.

He said offhandedly, "We've been here since past four o'clock, waiting for someone."

Yun Li blinked. "Did that person show up?"

Aside from the three of them, there wasn't anyone else they knew in the venue.

Xu Qingsong looked at her.

It seemed she suddenly understood his subtle hint.

She recalled the last time she had seen Xu Qingsong—right when Yun Li was returning from Xifu to Nanwu after handing in her resignation to pack up her personal belongings at EAW.

At the time, she had run into Xu Qingsong in the EAW breakroom, and he had asked her, "Have you thought it through?"

Thinking he was talking about her resignation, Yun Li had given a reasonable excuse: "Yeah. I need to go back to school to run experiments."

Xu Qingsong had taken a sip of his coffee and added a clarification: "About breaking up with A-Ze."

His profound gaze seemed to hold hidden depths.

Back then, she was still trapped in the negative emotions of the breakup and unable to pull herself out, while Fu Shize hadn't reached out to her either.

She had simply offered a faint hum of acknowledgment.

Xu Qingsong had looked at her thoughtfully without pushing further.

In an instant, she felt as though the entire world knew about their breakup. Unwilling to have the topic brought up again, she just wanted to leave as fast as possible.

Right as she was opening the door, Xu Qingsong had dropped a single sentence—"A-Ze is someone who takes relationships very seriously."

Returning to Fu Shize's side, Yun Li didn't mention running into Xu Qingsong. Glancing at Fu Shize's profile, she found her thoughts drifting back to her life over the past year or so.

The day she first arrived in England had been drizzly and damp, greeting her with a heavy chill, while the local architectural style stood in stark contrast to both Xifu and Nanwu.

Upon arriving in this unfamiliar city, Yun Li moved into the single room she had booked in advance.

Someone added her to the local Nanwu alumni association. The president had helped her out quite a bit right after she moved in and later invited her to gatherings, which Yun Li felt too awkward to refuse.

There had been a dozen or so people present, but lacking social skills, she sat quietly in a corner. The president tried to help her integrate into the group and repeatedly invited her to future gatherings.

Finding it difficult to forge quick friendships with people, Yun Li preferred not to go.

Less than a month after moving in, trouble struck her rented apartment: the landlord insisted that Yun Li had broken the bathroom fixtures in her room and demanded two thousand pounds in compensation. Yun Li was overwhelmed trying to handle the situation, and the moment money entered the conversation, the once-enthusiastic landlord transformed into an aggressive, cold stranger.

Reality dealt Yun Li a harsh bucket of cold water.

She hadn't told her family about this. When she eventually called the police, the landlord backed down and only made her pay a fraction of the cost.

Stuck all by herself in a city where the language felt foreign, and nursing her grievances alone, she refused to let herself become the target of Yun Yongchang's sarcasm. Because Deng Chuqi was swamped with her new lab work, Yun Li practically had no one to confide in.

Occasionally chatting with her followers online, they would cheer her up, but in reality, she hadn't told them about most of her struggles either.

That day, while packing up her things, she stumbled across a photograph of her and Fu Shize tucked away inside a notebook, brought along entirely by accident.

In a daze, she had been slicing fruit when she slipped and carved a sizable gash across her hand.

Hurriedly dragging out the first-aid kit and seeing how much blood was pouring out, Yun Li lowered her gaze, calmly disinfecting the wound with iodine, applying ointment, and bandaging it herself.

For the next few days, cooking, washing up, and taking showers became incredibly inconvenient.

While washing fruit with her right hand, Yun Li stared blankly at the water pooling in the sink.

For the first time in a long while, she recalled that time she had fallen and scraped her hands. Fu Shize—someone who had never lifted a finger in the kitchen—had followed a recipe step-by-step to cook for her.

Back then, she had only felt happiness, never digging deep into what his actions truly represented.

Here, there was no one whispering into her right ear like he always did, no one paying attention to and looking after her daily life, and no one there to accompany her when things went wrong.

Every single detail of their time together surfaced in her mind.

Yun Li realized that Fu Shize must have loved her very deeply.

She couldn't deny the loneliness gnawing at her insides, especially whenever her thoughts drifted to Fu Shize.

Perhaps to chase away that loneliness, she started attending gatherings. Though infrequent at first, she gradually made friends with a few fellow international students.

During a casual conversation one day, someone asked her, "Yun Li, have you ever been in a relationship?"

Yun Li answered honestly, "Once."

The group grew intensely interested upon hearing this and pestered her to tell the whole story of her romance.

At that time, Yun Li hadn't yet moved on from the relationship and hated talking about it. But the others wouldn't let up, forcing Yun Li to give a rough overview of how the relationship went.

In truth, she loathed bringing it up; it felt like ripping open a scab inside her heart over and over again.

Yet at that exact moment, she remembered all the times she had tried to pry into Fu Shize's past, asking vague questions and treating his failure to deliver what she expected as an impassable barrier.

Now, faced with a similar scenario, she realized she hated talking about painful things either. It was a belated realization that even among romantic partners, certain words remained agonizingly difficult to speak aloud.

If only she had been a bit more patient back then.

Her breakup became a hot topic of discussion among them, with everyone rushing to voice their opinions on romance, though most of it was spoken from her perspective.

Until finally, a guy who had just been dumped chimed in drunkenly: "I think your ex-boyfriend had it pretty rough. After all, he didn't ask for a breakup, and besides, he went to stay by someone's bedside, while the silent treatment was just something you imagined..."

"Why are girls so hard to deal with? You break up, your ex asks for the reason, and you blame him for cutting things off too cleanly and use that as an excuse to give up on him." The guy started crying after saying that. "I just don't get it. Why did I put in so much effort, yet she insists on saying I didn't love her enough? Breaking up just like that—is our relationship really that easy to throw away?"

The others held him down and explained to Yun Li that the guy was newly heartbroken and drunk, asking her not to take it to heart. Yun Li pressed her lips together in silence.

Sobering up the following day, the guy flooded Yun Li's WeChat with apologies: [I really, really was drunk last night and just spouting nonsense. Please don't take it to heart, I'm genuinely sorry.]

[It's fine.]

In that split second, Yun Li had seen through the self-deception she had harbored deep down for so long.

[What you said was the truth.]

In that relationship, she had indeed made mistakes.

When breaking up, she had been overwhelmed by so many suffocating emotions, constantly feeling like she couldn't see any hope, which led her to call it quits.

She had acted on impulse, never once imagining that he would actually agree.

Like a detective hunting for clues, she was always searching for evidence that Fu Shize didn't love her, treating his agreement as proof that his affection wasn't enough.

And then, she gave up on their relationship.

With her sensitive personality, she had over-interpreted everything Fu Shize did.

For a long time afterward, Yun Li forced herself to reform the most negative aspects of her personality. She focused more on what she was doing rather than obsessing over other people's evaluations and opinions; she learned to communicate proactively with those around her instead of letting her imagination run wild over every word and action.

She believed that by doing this, if she ever got the chance to see Fu Shize again one day, she wouldn't end up hurting him because of her own sensitivity.

Another gathering.

The guy who had tearfully accused his ex-girlfriend of breaking up with him announced that they had gotten back together, initiated by the girl, who had reflected on her own faults.

"Yun Li, have you ever considered talking to your ex?"

Once the gathering ended, the guy asked Yun Li privately.

Yun Li only smiled. "If there's ever a day we meet again, we'll see."

It wasn't as though Yun Li had never entertained the thought. She wanted to find him, have an open and honest conversation, and if he still loved her, pick up right where they left off.

Yet the reality was that they had dated, and they had broken up.

She recognized that her personality was too prone to sensitivity and plagued by insecurity, making long-term stability difficult to maintain. Fu Shize's introverted nature meant he couldn't break through that deadlock either.

She didn't want to break up a second time for the exact same reasons and inflict further pain on both of them.

Besides, so much time had passed; chances were high that Fu Shize didn't love her anymore. Nor did she believe she possessed the magic to keep Fu Shize loving her forever.

Neither of them had reached out to the other, living like absolute strangers.

Reconciliation was merely a matter of speaking two sentences.

Just like how a relationship begins in the first place.

Sustaining that relationship, however, was exceptionally difficult.

Seeing Fu Shize again, Yun Li felt glad that he was doing well, and she genuinely hoped he would continue to do well.

Both of them were merely grains of sand in this vast world, brushing past each other among trillions of possibilities before returning to the dust. It was a common enough occurrence.

Yet Xu Qingsong had made it crystal clear: Fu Shize was someone who took emotions deeply to heart.

Which meant that even after a year and a half, he had never forgotten her.

If that was the case, Yun Li no longer wished to deny her own heart.

After all, she had never truly let him go either.

The performance ended, and the audience filed out. Yun Li and Fu Shize reached the exit, where Xu Qingsong parted ways with them to catch another event.

Outside the gymnasium, cars were backed up in a massive queue, horns blaring incessantly.

Yun Li opened her ride-hailing app.

Glancing over, Fu Shize asked her, "Want me to drop you off outside? You won't get a cab here."

Yun Li looked out toward the road—the traffic was practically at a standstill—and nodded.

"Wait here for a second." With that, Fu Shize headed off to grab his scooter.

For some reason, Yun Li followed right behind him. "I'll go with you."

His moped was parked behind the gymnasium. Riding on the back of his bike was starting to feel strangely routine.

Fu Shize unlocked the scooter, spun the helmet around in his hands for a second, and raised his eyes to look at her. "It's still early. Want to go for a ride?"

Without her usual hesitation, Yun Li softly answered, "Okay."

Fu Shize carried her over to the newly expanded section of Xifu Tech, where most of the buildings had undergone renovation.

The entire expansion zone was completely deserted.

Trusting Fu Shize implicitly, Yun Li felt no fear, only the sensation of slipping into a secret sanctuary he frequented.

The moped sped forward, the rushing wind biting into her clothes and making it hard to keep her eyes open, before finally coming to a halt in front of an orange building a few minutes later.

"I'm taking you somewhere."

With those words, Fu Shize led the way inside. The building was mostly complete, though not yet operational.

Taking the elevator up to the fourteenth floor, they were greeted by pitch-black surroundings as Yun Li trailed closely behind him.

They finally reached an empty classroom where the scent of fresh construction still lingered in the air. The classroom connected to a spacious outdoor terrace, though the access door was locked.

Fu Shize opened a window and placed a chair down for Yun Li. "I'll head across first. Then you can climb out from the chair, and I'll catch you on the other side."

He vaulted directly across, landing steadily on his feet.

Meeting his gaze, Yun Li hesitated for a moment before stepping onto the chair and slowly edging out onto the windowsill.

The drop was over a meter high, making her pause.

As if sensing her hesitation, Fu Shize reached his hand out toward her.

Yun Li grabbed hold of it, and as she jumped down, he used his other hand to steady her arm.

She landed firmly.

Her chest was pressed right against his, and Yun Li nearly leaned straight into him. She took a small step back and slowly withdrew her hand.

The terrace was much better lit than the hallway.

The two of them leaned against the railing to catch the breeze, looking out over the vast night sky in the distance and the bustling prosperity of the city lights.

A evening breeze fluttered the stray locks of hair across his forehead, and he rested his cheek in his hand. "I really like coming here when I'm by myself."

His eyes were remarkably clear, looking even gentler amidst the midnight stillness.

"Now there are two of us." Yun Li gazed at the distant scenery and replied.

For a fleeting moment, he didn't answer.

Yun Li turned her head. Fu Shize was looking right at her, and the moment their eyes met, she shyly looked away.

There really were two of them now.

Fu Shize watched as Yun Li buried her delicate face in her arms, her eyes reflecting the distant lights and shadows.

The two of them remained quietly on the terrace until the distant city transitioned from a bustling roar into deep stillness.

Yun Li had no idea why, but every time she was with Fu Shize, the two of them could happily sit together like stones doing absolutely nothing for hours on end.

Back downstairs, Yun Li pulled out her phone.

"I'll just hail a cab to head straight back. You should get back to your dorm and rest early too."

It was already close to ten o'clock, and she didn't want to take up too much of Fu Shize's time.

Ignoring her phone, Fu Shize directly hailed a ride himself. Within a few minutes, a driver accepted the order and pulled right up in front of them.

Yun Li didn't push back, nor did she ask why.

Having stopped resisting her true inner desires, Yun Li felt like everything was suddenly a little bit easier to bear.

Fu Shize opened the car door, and Yun Li slid inside, turning her head to bid him farewell.

Just as she straightened up, she realized Fu Shize was climbing in right behind her.

"?"

"I'm taking you back." He glanced at her, speaking in a flat, matter-of-fact tone.

The entire ride passed in silence.

It was a route Yun Li knew by heart. Watching the familiar street signs, shops, and streetlights blur past through the window, she could vividly remember driving Fu Shize from the airport to Xifu Tech two years ago—everything was identical to right now.

So many times in the past, she had driven down this exact road to find Fu Shize.

Only now, as she took the time to observe this stretch of road, did she realize just how deeply she loved it.

Because every single time she drove past this road, it meant she was going to see Fu Shize.

She stole a glance at the person beside her out of the corner of her eye. He sat quietly, just like all those times in the past when he would silently keep her company.

The car swiftly reached the entrance of her residential complex. Fu Shize got out of the car alongside her, and the two of them walked quietly toward her building.

Xifu was lined mostly with evergreen trees, their branches lush and dense. Even though it was autumn, the faint chirping of cicadas could still be heard at night, signaling the changing of the seasons.

The endless cicada song in Yun Li's ears sent her thoughts into absolute turmoil. Raising her head, she saw that Fu Shize was looking right back at her.

She softly said, "I'm heading up."

Fu Shize gave a slight nod.

Just as Yun Li turned toward the doorway, she heard his voice from the shadows behind her: "Lili."

Her steps paused, and she turned back. He stood in the gloom where she couldn't make out his facial features, yet every single word reached her ears with crystal clarity.

"Sweet dreams, Lili."

Back home, Yang Fang and Yun Yongchang were watching TV—a metropolitan melodrama. Yun Li had heard Yang Fang talk about it before; roughly speaking, the male and female leads had missed out on each other in their youth due to various reasons, and after living completely different lives, both had turned into the exact kind of people they despised the most.

Yun Li couldn't help drawing parallels to her own situation.

Yet ever since breaking up with Fu Shize, Yun Li knew she had never once hated him.

If anything, she probably hated herself a little bit.

She opened the fridge, pulled out a bottle of milk, and watched as the liquid poured in a steady stream into her cup. Her mind wandered back to her interactions with Fu Shize, pushing the exaggerated dialogue blaring from the television far into the background.

Carrying her milk back to her room, Yun Li switched off the light and turned on the paper star lantern. As the starlight shadows drifted and swayed, Yun Li recalled Fu Shize's words from just moments ago.

"Sweet dreams, Lili."

She thought about all her endless overthinking, agonizing over this and agonizing over that.

Worrying whether his actions meant he didn't love her enough, worrying why he hadn't come looking for her after the breakup, and worrying whether her personality would cause them to repeat the same tragic cycle all over again.

Yet at this exact moment—or perhaps even earlier, when she and he were wandering through the campus, when the scent of osmanthus reminded her of their first meeting in Nanwu—she was struck by an overwhelming, powerful urge.

She wanted to forget all the past conflicts and troubles between them.

She wanted to be with him again.

That desire, despite suffering the shock of a breakup and no matter how much she tried to lie to herself, had never once vanished from the depths of her heart.

Besides, she now knew that he still had feelings for her.

The changes she had spent the past year fighting for—teaching herself to be brave, confident, and strong—weren't meant to make her shrink back or dodge away when faced with love.

Yun Li dug out the notebook pressed to the very bottom of her closet, which held the photograph of the two of them together. Stroking the surface with her fingertips, she remembered a long time ago on the basketball court, when Fu Shize had sat right beside her on her right.

Just like their companionship tonight.

Yun Li abruptly sat up, pulled up her chat window with Fu Shize, and bit her lip as she began typing out characters.

He sent a message first.

F: [I want to see you.]