Tigers Sniff the Rose - Chapter 78

Chapter 78

The silent alley was bathed in the crimson glow of lanterns. On the snowy ground, a horse lay, wailing in pain. Hearing the commotion, the staff of the Princess’s estate hurried out to check on the horse and their mistress.

They found the Princess being held in the arms of Yan Erlang, who was kneeling on the ground. The Princess’s hair and clothes were covered in snow, as if she had been unearthed from a snowdrift.

The servants dared not ask questions and hurriedly moved to comfort the horse. A short while later, Fang Tong and the others arrived belatedly. Seeing that the Princess had not left the area in a state of mental collapse and had even managed to return to the estate, they all breathed a slight sigh of relief.

Yan Shang held Mu Wanyao tightly, his heart pounding so fiercely that she could hear it clearly. She blinked, raising her head from his chest.

Mu Wanyao coughed, choked by the snow, and only then did Yan Shang regain his composure. He pulled her up from the ground, his arms encircling her back to support her as he brought her to her feet—a pose that kept her pressed closely against him. Ordinarily, Yan Shang would never be so intimate with Mu Wanyao in public; having broken that precedent tonight, the servants wisely acted as if they saw nothing.

Yan Shang supported Mu Wanyao’s arms, his breath felt against the back of her ear. Her hairpins seemed to brush against his lips.

In the cold, snowy night, where all sounds had fallen into icy stillness, Mu Wanyao heard his voice, as gentle as it had always been: "Are you hurt anywhere? Do your hands ache? Were your legs trapped? Your Highness, could you try walking a few steps? Please?"

Mu Wanyao felt headachy and sore from being thrown from the horse, but held in his arms, she complied. Following his guidance, she obediently walked two steps.

She felt a bit unsteady.

Mu Wanyao’s voice was very soft, tinged with a hint of grievance: "My legs hurt."

He immediately crouched down, wanting to examine them. Mu Wanyao looked down at him; seeing his hand reach toward the hem of her skirt, he seemed to suddenly realize the impropriety. He looked up at her, and she stared back with eyes as dark as lacquer.

She, who had felt entirely desolate and lost in an endless, freezing waste, found herself unable to help but purse her lips and peek at him from the corners of her eyes.

Caught in her secret gaze, Yan Shang felt a slight blush. He stood up, continuing to support her as he guided her toward the estate, and said, "Shall we have the imperial physician come to take a look?"

Mu Wanyao shook her head; she did not want to see anyone from the palace tonight. Worried that she might truly be injured, Yan Shang frowned, wondering how to persuade her, when a sudden chill touched his brow.

Mu Wanyao had reached out, her finger tapping his forehead. She said, "Why aren't you scolding me?"

Yan Shang looked down at the path, helping her up the steps: "Scold you for what?"

Mu Wanyao lowered her head: "I was riding so fast, and I lost my focus. Because I lost my focus, I fell, and now you’re so distressed. Why don’t you scold me? Why don’t you lecture me? Why don’t you say how bad my temper is, or that I’m not considerate of any of you?"

Yan Shang looked at her, paused, and said softly: "Your Highness is already in pain; why would I want to scold you? You must have been carrying some grievance, haven't you? Would you like to tell me?"

Mu Wanyao looked at him, then slowly shook her head.

She did not want him to know of her past; she hoped to remain unsullied and clean in his eyes.

Yan Shang remained silent for a moment before saying gently: "Then I can only hope with all my heart that you will never have to suffer a grievance again."

By then, they had entered the estate. Mu Wanyao did not know if her injuries were serious. They couldn't be, could they? After all, she could still walk. With Yan Shang supporting her, her attention was completely drawn to the arm he used to steady her and the slightly cool temperature of his body against her back.

She wondered, Why is he so cold? Has he been standing outside in the snow all this time? And why was he standing outside in the first place?

Mu Wanyao kept her head bowed, not even noticing that her estate was filled with hanging lanterns.

She only heard him calling out "Your Highness" repeatedly. Mu Wanyao said, with a hint of disappointment: "Why do you never call me 'Yaoyao' normally? Is it because I scolded you for it before and forbade you from saying it, so you never have since?"

Yan Shang was stunned for a moment before replying: "I was afraid that if I grew used to it, I wouldn’t be able to change it back in public... and it would cause misunderstandings."

Mu Wanyao turned her head to look at him, her dark pupils fixed on his refined and handsome face: "What kind of misunderstandings? Do you not want your friends or colleagues to know the relationship between you and me?"

Yan Shang looked at her for a long time before saying: "...It is not that I do not want to, it is that you do not."

Mu Wanyao started, then lowered her eyes, thinking, So that’s how it is.

I am such a terrible person.

Yan Shang patted her back lightly twice. As if he knew what she was thinking, he said softly: "Your Highness, do not blame yourself. Whatever you decide, when you are ready, will be fine. I will wait for you; I will not leave you."

Mu Wanyao kept her head down, saying nothing.

Yan Shang could see that her spirits were low, and he inwardly wondered what had happened at the palace. He was not overly anxious; even if she didn’t tell him, he would know by tomorrow. Right now, the most important thing was to make her feel better.

Yet he was also at a loss, thinking, How can I make her feel better?

In his nineteen years of life, his experience in getting along with girls was mostly limited to his younger sister, Yan Xiaozhou. When they were children, his family had traveled all over Jiangnan. Later, when his mother’s health declined and his father took care of her, he was the one who personally looked after his young sister.

He helped her comb her hair, told her stories, sang songs, cracked jokes, and carried her on his back through the mountains.

Yet, Yan Xiaozhou was a different kind of girl than Mu Wanyao. Yan Xiaozhou was pure and obedient; she never resisted him, never argued with him, and never deliberately defied him... Mu Wanyao was different.

As these thoughts crossed Yan Shang’s mind, he heard Mu Wanyao whisper: "Can you always be this good to me?"

Yan Shang was stunned. For some reason, his heart ached. He said: "This is nothing at all."

Mu Wanyao looked up at him, only to see a look of guilt in his eyes. She didn’t know what he was feeling guilty about—did he feel he still wasn’t good enough to her?

Mu Wanyao stared at him blankly for a long time, her eyes reddening slightly. She suddenly stopped walking, revealed the first smile of the night, and opened her arms to embrace him. She sighed: "Yan Er Gege, your body is so cold."

Yan Shang whispered: "It’s because I was standing outside for too long... shall we embrace after we go inside?"

Mu Wanyao ignored him. Standing on the long veranda overlooking the lake, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried herself in his embrace. She looked up at his lowered eyes and whispered: "You can tell, can't you? I’m in a bad mood right now."

Yan Shang smiled, reaching out to brush a few strands of hair from her face and flick the snowflakes from her eyelashes: "Yaoyao is such a good girl; she isn't even losing her temper."

Mu Wanyao said: "It’s only because it’s you that I’m not furious. If anyone else had tried to pull me just now, I would have been angry, and no one would have slept in this house tonight."

Yan Shang replied: "How could that be? I live right next door. If there were a huge commotion in the Princess’s estate all night, someone would inevitably come to tell me."

He blushed slightly and added: "Didn't you say you wouldn't be angry once you saw me? I would have come to see you."

Mu Wanyao: "Will you come to see me forever?"

Yan Shang looked at her for a long time before saying: "I cannot guarantee it, but I will try my best."

Mu Wanyao couldn't help but laugh, saying: "I didn't even ask you to make an oath. Why are you being so solemn and having to think about it? Yan Er Gege, you are truly so adorable. You actually took my coquettish talk as something serious."

Yan Shang was slightly taken aback, then gave a bashful smile. He lowered his eyelashes—long, like brushes.

His face was handsome, but it was nothing compared to the beauty of his temperament.

He held her, letting her cling to his waist. As he smiled down at her like this, Mu Wanyao felt all the gloom in her heart being swept away.

Mu Wanyao looked at him and murmured: "You are so adorable, I really want to kiss you."

He turned his head, a bit uncomfortable, and said: "K-kissing me... will that make you feel better?"

Mu Wanyao nodded.

Yan Shang lifted his eyelashes and looked at her, showing no signs of resistance or prohibition.

Seeing his tacit agreement, Mu Wanyao leaned in. Heat flowed between them, the air felt a bit damp, and the snow landing on his pale red lips was clearly visible. But just as their lips were about to touch, she remembered something and sighed: "I can't kiss you."

Yan Shang was stunned.

Then he asked: "Why?"

Mu Wanyao: "I drank a lot of alcohol tonight. If I kiss you, you’ll end up feeling unwell and might even collapse."

Yan Shang let out an "Ah," lowered his eyes, and looked a bit annoyed. He hesitated, but by then, Mu Wanyao had already withdrawn from his arms and started walking alone. Yan Shang hurriedly followed her, and the two entered the inner residence, hearing the sounds of the household.

Mu Wanyao saw that they were setting up poles in the estate, and maids were hanging banners from them. She stood outside the moon gate, watching blankly for a while, until Yan Shang, following behind, explained: "This is the custom of setting up poles and hanging banners on New Year’s Eve to pray for peace and longevity in the coming year. We have this in Lingnan. Does Your Highness not know?"

Mu Wanyao shook her head, bewildered.

Only then did she react, looking back at Yan Shang, her heart stirred: "Now that I think about it, it must be midnight, right? Why did you appear at the mouth of the alley and keep following me all the way here? What are you doing?"

Yan Shang froze.

He was so baffled by her confusion that he became confused himself: "...Watching over the New Year, of course. What else could I be doing?"

Mu Wanyao: "..."

She had overthought it again.

She thought he had rushed over in the middle of the night just to find her... Yan Shang looked at her, and it seemed he was about to guess what she was thinking. Mu Wanyao felt slightly annoyed, thinking she wasn't very pure in front of Yan Shang. She coughed heavily to bring his thoughts back: "So, the hanging of these banners in my estate—was it all your doing? Don't you find it troublesome?"

Yan Shang said: "Because I wanted to watch the New Year with Your Highness, is that not allowed?"

Mu Wanyao paused for a moment and said: "...It is."

Then, touching her own face and casting him a sidelong glance, she said once more: "You are truly adorable."

As she said this and walked two more steps into the inner hall, she saw the figure of Wei Shu. She thought she had seen wrong, but there stood Wei Shu under a lamp-tree, watching the servants decorate. The servants bowed to the Princess, and Wei Shu turned around, his demeanor as cool and clear as water.

Wei Shu: "Your Highness, you have returned?"

Mu Wanyao smiled at him before looking at Yan Shang.

Yan Shang explained: "...I was afraid you wouldn’t want to be alone with me tonight, so I called Juyuan over. Don't you like Juyuan very much?"

Mu Wanyao: "..."

Mu Wanyao said: "I want to take back what I just said; you are no longer adorable."

Before Yan Shang could grasp the reason for her shifting moods, Mu Wanyao had already walked toward the young Wei Shu standing under the lamp-tree. Seeing the boy standing like a flowering tree in the lamplight, Mu Wanyao looked back at Yan Shang, who stood under the moon gate like a jade tree in the wind.

Falling snow wandered between heaven and earth.

Yet, in Mu Wanyao's heart, a small warmth began to kindle.

She thought, Whatever coldness existed at that palace banquet, it doesn't matter; when I returned to the estate, Yan Shang and Wei Shu were waiting for me.

This world is not always cold—

Mu Wanyao had been tense throughout the palace banquet, fearing someone would skip a step in the protocol, so she had only drunk and barely eaten.

Back at her own estate, she sat with Wei Shu and Yan Shang to watch over the New Year, and the servants naturally brought fruits and pastries. Mu Wanyao didn’t have much appetite, but she urged Wei Shu to eat more, saying that he was still young and needed to grow.

Yan Shang sat on the other side, telling Mu Wanyao and Wei Shu about the New Year customs in Lingnan.

Mu Wanyao and Wei Shu sat side-by-side, listening to Yan Shang’s stories. Mu Wanyao supported her chin, her curiosity unhidden, while Wei Shu kept his expression cool and distant, trying his best to hide his own curiosity... The two of them looked at him in a way that made Yan Shang feel both awkward and amused.

Yan Shang coughed.

Mu Wanyao grew impatient: "Cough, cough, cough—how many times have you coughed while telling one story? Can you hold it back?"

Yan Shang: "My apologies."

Wei Shu said softly: "Your Highness, don't be so harsh to Yan Er Ge..."

Mu Wanyao smiled at Wei Shu, her voice softening: "It’s alright, I’m not being harsh to you. Don't be afraid."

Wei Shu looked at her, thinking to himself that he had grown up and wasn't afraid anymore. But when the words reached his lips, Wei Shu said: "If Your Highness has any difficulties, you can let me help."

Mu Wanyao was stunned, guessing that Wei Shu was clever enough to see that she had been unhappy tonight. She gave a self-deprecating smile and brushed it off—

The hall was filled with light. As they chatted, they heard the sounds of explosions outside. The three of them were startled, knowing the New Year had arrived.

Mu Wanyao, Wei Shu, and Yan Shang looked at each other, and then she and Wei Shu both looked at Yan Shang.

Yan Shang: "..."

Yan Shang could only say: "We should also 'explode the bamboo poles'."

"Exploding the poles" meant burning a long bamboo pole section by section, causing it to crack and pop. In this thunderous noise, they would drive away the gods of plague and welcome the new year.

Mu Wanyao realized what he meant and hurriedly told the maids to arrange it. When the crackling and popping of the poles began in the courtyard, Mu Wanyao was startled and shrank back. The next moment, Yan Shang reached out to cover her ears, isolating her from the sound.

Mu Wanyao looked up at Yan Shang in a daze, her eyes as clear as water fixed upon him.

Beside them, Wei Shu also looked toward him: "Yan Er Ge?"

Yan Shang’s face flushed under their gaze. He lowered his hands and said: "I was just standing a little too close to Your Highness."

Mu Wanyao also blushed. Meeting Wei Shu’s gaze, she put on a stern face and said: "What are you looking at? The New Year has been watched, isn't it time to go to sleep? Xiaorong, quickly take Juyuan to wash up."

Wei Shu was led away after a few moments. Mu Wanyao then stood up, intending to return to her room to sleep. The New Year had been watched, and she could worry about troublesome things tomorrow when she woke up.

She paid no attention to Yan Shang, but as she stood up, he stood up as well. As she began to walk away, her hand was pulled from behind; she was spun around to face him. He leaned in, and his lips brushed gently against hers.

Mu Wanyao’s eyes widened, thinking for a moment that he was going to force something upon her, so she stepped back, pressing against a corridor pillar.

Yan Shang stepped forward, one hand resting on her shoulder, the other cupping her face. He looked down at her, his gaze clear, the starlight shattered in a pool of clear water.

Yan Shang leaned in to kiss her, tasting her lips, pressing against her teeth.

A shudder ran through Mu Wanyao’s entire body. Her hands flew to his shoulders, wanting to push him away. She wanted to resist, murmuring: "No, no... I’ve been drinking, you can’t kiss me. You won't be able to handle it."

Yan Shang lifted his gaze to look at her, saying: "Then let us make the most of the time."

He pulled her wrist, lowered his head, and kissed the inside of her wrist. Mu Wanyao shrank back, feeling as if she might jump out of her skin from that one kiss. His lingering affection made her body tremble, her cheeks flush crimson, and she continued to dodge and hide.

Yan Shang looked at her and said: "Didn't you say that kissing would make you feel better? I want to make you feel better."

He hesitated for a moment, then pursed his lips: "Yaoyao-jiejie."

Mu Wanyao suddenly abandoned her struggle, staring blankly at the person who had called her "Yaoyao-jiejie." He leaned against her chin and kissed her lips once more. The distance between lips and teeth, the sensation of sweetness and warmth. The ice and snow piled layer upon layer in her heart began to retreat, and the buds hidden beneath the snow poked their heads out.

He kissed her, over and over again.

Mu Wanyao’s eyes began to stream like water.

Snow flew behind them. She felt as if she had lost all her strength, held in his arms as they kissed. She closed her eyes, never having felt a moment like this—where a kiss could make her soul tremble and rejoice together.

She wanted to merge her spirit with his.

She wanted to cling to him until death.

His moist breath brushed against her face and pressed against her ear. In a daze, Mu Wanyao closed her eyes, sensing him speaking beside her ear. His lips brushed her earlobe; her face was burning, and she was almost collapsing, struggling barely to remain upright.

Mu Wanyao composed herself for a long while before she could hear what he was saying in that low voice.

Yan Shang was likely already quite drunk; he pressed against her ear, his speech slightly fragmented: "Yaoyao, you... you said last time that you liked me more than I liked you... I... I felt very sad when I heard that.

"I am not as passionate as you, and I may never be as passionate as you in my entire life. But I am serious; I... I have always been very serious.

"I have always wanted to explain to you, but I couldn't find the opportunity, couldn't find the reason. Yaoyao, you know, I am someone who... is particularly, particularly fond of self-torment.

"Zhao Wuniang... she was merely an excuse for me to move toward you. It was I who gave up self-reflection, who was willing to sink into this.

"I pondered, I struggled with everything. I reminded myself every day not to indulge, forcing myself every day to self-reflect. I... I am different from you. For me, merely walking toward you, deciding to walk toward you... that was my most indulgent moment."

Mu Wanyao started, opening her eyes to look at him.

He had already closed his eyes, his head resting on her shoulder, most of his weight pressing down on her. Mu Wanyao, of course, could not bear his weight. She opened her arms to embrace him, sliding down along the corridor pillar to sit on the ground, holding the drunken, unconscious Yan Shang in her arms.

The tears in her eyes fell intermittently, as if they could never be contained.

When she left Wuman, she told herself never to cry again, never to shed tears again. How weak that was, how pathetic.

...But she really couldn't help it—

Snow filled the sky.

The young lady sat leaning against the corridor pillar, holding her lover in her arms, choked with sobs and unable to speak—

What did she do right to meet someone like this and obtain such a wonderful life?