Tigers Sniff the Rose - Chapter 64

Chapter 64

Every night before sleep, Yan Shang performed his routine self-reflection, scrutinizing his behavior throughout the day to see if he had acted in any way out of line.

In his pondering, he couldn't help but think of Mu Yaoyao asking him not to come see her again last night. Today, while studying, the conversation they had last night popped into his head several times, distracting him.

Thus, at night, it was only natural for him to think of Mu Yaoyao.

She was stalling, wanting to reject him yet unable to bear the thought of it.

This was the conclusion Yan Shang reached.

Upon arriving at this realization, Yan Shang felt a momentary chill in his heart. However, he had already experienced heartbreak with her before, and he was resilient enough to withstand this blow.

Therefore, sitting at his own desk, Yan Shang merely pondered, showing no unusual emotions.

He reflected on whether the problem lay with him or with Mu Yaoyao. Was it his attitude that had been too eager, scaring her? But why would she be scared?

Could it be that she feared the intimacy between a man and a woman?

Yan Shang closed his eyes, reviewing the few times Mu Yaoyao had revealed unusual behavior in his presence.

The first time she showed fear was when she was pinned to the bed; when he had nearly kissed her against his own control, she had become rigid with fear, trembling unconsciously. The second time… was the time Mu Yaoyao had brought him the water lily.

Yan Shang opened his eyes and looked at the pot of water lilies placed in the corner of his room, by the window near his desk. Water lilies open by day and close by night; naturally, it was not the blooming season now. Yan Shang only had to look at this pot to think of Mu Yaoyao, who had come to find him that night, proactively carrying the flower.

At first, she had acted as if she didn't care at all. Once on the bed, she had teased him with a smile, just as she always did.

Yet, when he had accidentally pinned her down, she had resisted once again… and when Mu Yaoyao kissed him, the feeling it gave Yan Shang was… well.

Yan Shang hesitated slightly, wondering if he was overthinking things. He simply felt that although Mu Yaoyao had kissed him many times, she seemed to never have… been lost in it.

Not the way his own heart had been stirred.

He was certain that Mu Yaoyao liked him… but he felt she was simply too calm. Every time she kissed him, she was like a bystander, coldly observing his reactions, as if only his reactions brought her amusement.

She liked his reactions.

Not the act of kissing, embracing, or lying in bed itself.

Yan Shang’s heart felt heavy for a long time. He slowly stood up, walked to the water lily pot, and crouched down, watching the lotus leaves cradling the flower bud. The room was filled with a faint fragrance, yet the flower did not know when it would truly bloom.

Yan Shang reached out to touch a leaf, whispering softly to himself: "…Is it because her previous marriage was such a failure? Because she disliked her former husband so much that she treats me this way?"

Every action a person takes must surely bear the lingering traces of the past.

Yan Shang remained dazed for a long time, surprisingly feeling a strange hatred for her former husband for having caused her such great harm.

He hadn't guessed the real reason for Mu Yaoyao’s vacillation, but just feeling that she was afraid to accept him because she had been hurt before was enough to stir pity in his heart, making him unable to bear the thought of forcing her.

So be it.

Even if she caused him such heartbreak, it wasn't her fault.

Yan Shang silently endured this event, deciding that he still needed to give Mu Yaoyao more time to accept him. If he gave her more time, she would realize he was different from her former husband. No matter how her previous marriage had been, in short, in short, he was not the kind of man who would hurt her.

Two months’ time… he hoped Mu Yaoyao could accept it.

However, with Mu Yaoyao’s terrible memory, if he left no traces in her life for two months, wouldn't she treat him like a stranger again when they met? Would the affection he had finally managed to cultivate have to start from scratch?

Yan Shang naturally did not want Mu Yaoyao to cast him into the back of her mind once more. After much deliberation, he decided to write her a letter every three days.

At the very least, he would ensure she remembered his existence—

A letter every three days; Yan Shang timed it perfectly.

It left Mu Yaoyao perfectly balanced between the stages of "Forget it, don't think about him" and "Just when I stopped thinking about him, his letter arrives."

The struggle in the imperial court was not easy. Mu Yaoyao followed the Crown Prince, fighting the Prince of Qin day and night, with both sides constantly executing and dismantling each other’s schemes. Moreover, Mu Yaoyao was currently negotiating with the Crown Prince to hand over the responsibility of the year-end grand banquet to her.

The year-end grand ceremony was a major event where all nations came to celebrate, happening only once every few years. Mu Yaoyao was determined to seize this opportunity for exposure. If she managed it well, not only would her prestige in the Great Wei increase, but she would also be remembered by all the smaller surrounding nations.

This was a goal she was determined to achieve.

Once the highest-ranking Noble Consort in the palace was confined, there would be no hostess in the palace to oversee such matters, and naturally, it would fall upon the princesses. Since Mu Yaoyao was already fighting the Prince of Qin’s birth mother, the Noble Consort, pushing aside the Prince of Qin’s own sister, Princess Yuyang, to host the grand banquet was nothing at all.

Princess Yuyang had a soft personality, and the Noble Consort was overbearing; Mu Yaoyao yielded to neither, and the Prince of Qin’s camp likely hated her to the core.

It was also because she had to rack her brains every day fighting these people that when she returned to the Princess Residence at night and drank alone to relieve her stress, Yan Shang’s letters became her "side dish" for the wine.

Usually, she would sit on the third floor of the inner residence, quietly watching the lights of the opposite mansion, judging whether Yan Shang had returned home or was still out, whether he had slept or was still studying.

She had already learned to identify which lights belonged to his quarters.

So, having nothing else to do, she would stare at the two lanterns hanging under the veranda outside his room. If she didn't see them lit today, she would wonder if he had stayed out all night; if she saw them lit all night the next day, she would be angry, wondering if he hadn't slept at all.

Allowing her thoughts to run wild was the best way to de-stress, yet it was also the most tormenting.

After the maid Chunhua left, the job of standing behind the Princess every night, holding the letters and reading Yan Shang’s correspondence for Mu Yaoyao, fell to the maid Xiarong.

Xiarong read the letter from the Second Young Master Yan with a clear, melodic voice: "Spent last night at the teacher’s home, met the teacher’s wife. The teacher is already over fifty, yet seeing the teacher’s wife heavily pregnant, I cannot help but remark in my heart regarding the teacher: 'Age does not diminish one's vigor.'"

Hearing this, Mu Yaoyao burst into a chuckle.

Xiarong looked at the Princess, seeing her eyes fixed on the lights of the opposite mansion, a glass of glazed wine swirling in her hand. After drinking for a long time, the Princess’s face was flushed and her eyes were misty, but it was the first time she had laughed since she returned to the residence looking gloomy.

Xiarong breathed a sigh of relief, thinking it was a good thing that Second Young Master Yan’s letters could make the Princess laugh. Otherwise, the Princess’s temper would keep them all in constant fear.

Mu Yaoyao rested her chin on her hand, a hint of a smile at the corner of her lips: "He is truly sharp-tongued. He must have shown nothing on the surface, yet upon returning home, he remarks on his teacher’s wife being heavily pregnant and comments that his teacher is still 'vigorously aging'..."

Xiarong laughed: "Indeed. Young Master Yan speaks much more to Your Highness now than he did before. In the past, he would never have said such things under any circumstances."

Mu Yaoyao snorted with a smile: "Yes, that personality of his… he never used to say a bad word about anyone…"

So now that Yan Shang would secretly badmouth his teacher in letters to her, it left Mu Yaoyao feeling both touched and conflicted.

…Why trust her so much?

Is he so sure she won't seize upon his flaws and harm him in the future?

A man like him shouldn't be so open about everything to others.

Mu Yaoyao supported her forehead with her hand: "Sigh, a headache. My head aches even more now."

Just like that, reading letters every day for two months, perhaps she could not forget a certain someone. Even now, Mu Yaoyao missed Yan Shang and wanted to see him appear before her.

Yan Shang was truly… full of schemes—

In the blink of an eye, the summer passed, and the autumn leaves turned red.

Then the autumn leaves fell, and the winter cold arrived.

Chang’an stepped into the tenth month, entering early winter.

Over the two months, the servants Mu Yaoyao sent to monitor and take care of Liu Wenji reported back that Liu Wenji only went to the Beili brothel district every day to drown his sorrows, getting dead drunk. During the day, he would either sleep or read, not associating with anyone. Seeing that he wasn't causing trouble, Mu Yaoyao left him be.

During this time, while she was locked in a fierce battle with the Prince of Qin, Mu Yaoyao still found time to visit the Prince of Jin’s mansion to check on Chunhua. Chunhua was now clearly pregnant, her figure fuller, and her face held a soft radiance of maternal love. Although a shadow of sorrow always lingered between Chunhua’s brows, the Prince of Jin’s mansion had not abused her, and she was living quite well, so Mu Yaoyao felt reassured.

It was only when Chunhua wanted Mu Yaoyao to touch her belly to feel the fetus that Mu Yaoyao refused without a trace of mercy.

Mu Yaoyao was absent-minded: "I don't like children, never have."

Chunhua could only sigh, accepting the outcome that the Princess would likely rarely come to the Prince of Jin’s mansion to see her. After all, it was the Prince of Jin; to avoid suspicion, the Princess would not come often.

In mid-tenth month, on the day of the imperial recruitment examination, Yan Shang went out as usual, preparing to go to the Ministry of Personnel to take the exam for the "Broad Scholarship and Macro-Literary" category.

If his results were good, he would receive an official position immediately; if not, he would have to wait until next year.

Many in Chang’an were watching, waiting to see how well Yan Shang would do after rejecting Prime Minister Liu. Yan Shang remained composed, showing nothing on the surface.

When he stepped out, a servant led his horse over. As Yan Shang turned to face the alley, he froze.

He saw the Princess Residence’s carriage parked in the alley, with maids and guards mounting their horses. Clearly, Mu Yaoyao had gone out very early today and had encountered him here.

Yan Shang saw the maids and guards greeting him; he returned their salutes and cast his gaze toward the carriage.

He knew Mu Yaoyao was inside.

His heart stirred, and a very gentle, soft smile floated into his eyes: In the past, he would never run into her when going out every day, yet today, they had met so easily. Could it be that she was specifically waiting for him?

Yan Shang walked over and stood outside the carriage, bowing to the person inside: "I hope Your Highness is well."

Mu Yaoyao’s lazy voice came from within: "Taking the exam today?"

Yan Shang: "Yes."

Then the carriage curtain was suddenly pulled open, and Mu Yaoyao looked out, just as Yan Shang looked up.

The young gentleman stood outside the carriage, his green, large-sleeved robe brushing the ground. His slender build made him appear spirited and graceful, set off by eyebrows and eyes like ink, a temperament like jade and bamboo—clear, transparent, and exquisite.

Mu Yaoyao saw him clearly—she saw every single eyelash he lifted as he raised his eyes, and every drop of clear, early-winter dew clinging to his temples.

What an elegant demeanor.

And Yan Shang was also looking at her, seeing a mass of extremely bright red leap into his eyes. She was leaning on the carriage window, eyes slightly narrowed; in her eyes, round as a cat’s, there was a touch of charm and a touch of clarity. With her leaning on the window looking at him like that, it was as if he had been thrown into a gorgeous, vibrant, crimson dream.

Her beauty made everything around her appear bland and uninteresting.

The two of them quietly looked at each other.

After two months, seeing each other for the first time.

Mu Yaoyao lay leisurely on the window, yet felt her palms were full of sweat; Yan Shang stood below, looking up at her, his heartbeat—which the recruitment exam could not stir—now drumming so fast it felt as if it no longer belonged to him.

After a long moment, he regained his composure first, lowered his eyes, and dared not look at her anymore, fearing he would betray his awkwardness to those around him.

Yan Shang said in a low voice: "I am very happy to see Your Highness when I went out today."

Mu Yaoyao didn't say a word; whoosh, she dropped the curtain, separating the two worlds.

The maids and guards around the carriage cast sympathetic glances at Second Young Master Yan, silently using their eyes to tell him that the Princess was just that kind of hot-tempered person, and it was nothing to be upset that she ignored him.

Yan Shang remained silent, watching the carriage slowly roll out of the alley, passing him by.

Just as the carriage was about to pass him, a lazy voice came from inside, audible only to the two of them: "I permit you to be happy."

Yan Shang abruptly looked up at the carriage driving past him. His eyes were bright, and he felt a surge of motivation—

Mu Yaoyao was restless.

Yan Shang had gone to the Ministry of Personnel for the recruitment exam, and Wei Shu had gone with him. She had been fretting over this all day, unable to properly listen to what the ministers were saying in the Eastern Palace all day long.

In the end, she couldn't sit still, and in the afternoon, she feigned feeling unwell and returned to the Princess Residence.

Mu Yaoyao waited for news in the residence, drinking water cup after cup. She felt as if she were likely even more nervous than he was.

She couldn't help but let her mind run wild.

Because the recruitment exam was harder than the imperial exam, after all. With so many talented young men like Wei Shu taking the exam alongside Yan Shang, could Yan Shang really do it with his level of skill? Was his half-year of studying really useful? He couldn't even handle the provincial exam from before… could the current recruitment exam fail to give him a headache?

Mu Yaoyao bit her lip, blaming Yan Shang for not being a great scholar.

If he were overflowing with talent, she wouldn't have to be this worried.

Mu Yaoyao sat in the main hall, drinking water and waiting for the results, when a muffled winter thunderclap rolled across the sky. It truly made her feel like a bad omen—

Yan Shang’s side was actually doing fine.

This exam was, in fact, easier for him than the last. The poetry and prose of the previous one had been entirely things he wasn't good at; this time, there were more things to test, and he didn't feel as unsure of himself.

Moreover, this exam began to test political strategy.

Having strategy-based questions made things much easier for Yan Shang.

The Minister of Personnel, the Vice-Minister of Personnel, and others had all come in person to watch their examination. The entire hall was silent, with only the occasional sound of muffled thunder from the horizon.

The recruitment exam was a two-day process.

This was the first day; they would lodge in the Imperial City tonight, take the exam again tomorrow, and the results would be out the day after. The speed was much faster than the previous imperial examinations—

Liu Wenji had slept for the entire day in the Beili district. By evening, the scent of rouge and wine in the building woke him, his head splitting with pain.

Liu Wenji wobbled as he stood up to change his clothes, then sat back in his place, continuing to drink sullen wine alone.

Since he spent all day here, the women of this flower house had grown accustomed to him, knowing that he only wanted to drink and didn't want anyone to serve him. This young gentleman was handsome, but since he was drunk all day, it was clear he was suffering for love. The ladies of the pleasure quarters were naturally inclined to favor such devoted gentlemen, so they secretly ordered others not to chase this gentleman away.

Dancing seats with a thousand flowers, singing boats with five-colored towers.

On this brightly lit night, the famous courtesans began to take the stage to dance, and the ladies upstairs leaned against their respective gentlemen, beginning a new night of drowning in drunken dreams.

Liu Wenji sat among them; even as waves of lewd songs and lyrics drifted to his ears, he acted as if he heard nothing, just drinking his own wine.

A dozen young gentlemen pushed and shoved past, their voices extremely loud, the sound of pearl curtains colliding, and the ladies following along, shouting—

"Oh, it's Master Zhang! Master Zhang, why haven't you been here in so long?"

"Is it because the Ministry of Revenue has been busy lately?"

"Oh my, that superior is too mean, not even letting the Master rest for two days. Master, don't be angry; tonight will surely let you relax."

The young gentleman called Master Zhang laughed loudly, followed by a dozen people currying favor and crowding around him. He was extremely disdainful; glancing at Liu Wenji as he passed, he only gave him a quick look before casually grabbing a beautiful woman to kiss.

A lady knelt softly beside Liu Wenji, pouring wine for him, whispering: "Master, that is the eleventh son of the family of the Director of the Ministry of Revenue; he is a man of status. You must not offend him."

Drunk, Liu Wenji looked at her, and hearing her soft, whispered words, he only felt that she was as gentle as his Chunhua. He smiled forcedly, whispering: "Who can I afford to offend now? Don't worry, I won't go out."

The lady sighed. Taking pity on him, she sat to the side to pour wine and look after him.

Liu Wenji: "…What are you doing staying with me? I don't need a lady to serve me, you should go."

The lady pleaded: "I have only been here for a short time, and I do not want to serve those filthy people. Master, please have some pity on me and let me stay to serve you."

Liu Wenji thought that no one in this world had it easy, so he didn't push her away.

Laughter and jokes were the norm here.

Master Zhang had had a few too many drinks. Tipsy, sitting upstairs before reaching the private chamber, he began to act disrespectfully toward the lady serving him, and she feigned resistance. It was nothing more than a game between men and women. In his recklessness, Master Zhang suddenly saw a lady sitting in the corner, and a casual glance revealed that the beauty was so moving.

Master Zhang pushed away the person beside him and pointed at the lady: "Get her for me!"

Everyone around Master Zhang followed his gaze.

The frail lady was kneeling beside Liu Wenji, pouring wine for him, when suddenly several gentlemen came over, split to both sides, grabbed her arms, and pulled her up. In her panic, she screamed, and those gentlemen laughed: "Don't scream, don't scream, Master Zhang wants you to serve him!"

The lady’s eyes were filled with misery: "I don't want to, I don't want to… Master Liu, Master Liu, save me!"

She reached out toward Liu Wenji. Liu Wenji was in the midst of being heavily drunk; the woman’s long nails grazed the back of his hand, and the sharp pain was what brought him back to reality, allowing him to hear the woman’s miserable plea for help.

Liu Wenji turned his head to look and saw the lady who had just been sitting with him being pinned and dragged away by several gentlemen. Those gentlemen had knowing, lecherous smiles on their faces. The lady was being dragged on the ground, her long hair in disarray, her clothes splitting with a sharp ripping sound.

The lady screamed: "Save me! Save me!"

Her pleading, tearful, beautiful eyes, filled with desperation, looked toward Liu Wenji.

Liu Wenji’s brain went bang, and it went blank.

He felt as if he had suddenly seen Chunhua, looking at him with eyes filled with tears, yet always silent.

When she was dragged to the Prince of Jin’s bed that night, was she also this helpless? When her beautiful, tear-filled eyes looked at the people around the Prince of Jin, had she also begged someone to save her like this?

When the bitter fate fell upon her, was she in absolute despair? Was it… that no one extended a helping hand to her?

Letting her fall into the abyss, letting her lose her breath little by little, letting her never struggle out of the malicious trap that fate had set for her…

In Liu Wenji’s mind, Mu Yaoyao’s icy eyes appeared.

She said: "It will pass. You will forget."

Liu Wenji heard his own voice from back then overlap with his murmuring now—"It cannot pass, and I cannot forget."

At least for now—

Bang—

Someone on the second floor of the flower house knocked over a table, and a youth stumbled and charged toward the group of giggling young gentlemen. The young gentleman shouted sternly: "Let her go, let her go—"

Release the shackles that fate has bound upon her!

Release her weak, innocent soul!—

Liu Wenji crashed over, knocking aside those laughing young gentlemen. He crouched down to cradle the strange lady, whose clothes were in disarray, in his arms. That Master Zhang had originally been holding the lady and about to steal a kiss, but suddenly being knocked aside, he cried out in pain, cold sweat breaking out on his forehead.

Master Zhang was furious: "How dare you snatch someone from me? Cripple him for me—"

Boom—

The sound of thunder was in the sky, muffled by the rouge, song, and dance of the district. The building was already in chaos. A group of young men pounced on Liu Wenji. Liu Wenji protected the strange lady beneath his own body and closed his eyes—

Thunder was in the sky.

In the middle of the night, the door of Princess Danyang’s residence was knocked open.

Mu Yaoyao was awakened in the middle of the night by the knocking, initially thinking something had happened to Yan Shang, and rushed out in a hurry.

She pushed open the door, and the two servants she had sent to look after Liu Wenji were kneeling in the veranda, covered in blood and mud, crying as they lifted their faces: "Your Highness, it is bad, we did not take good care of Master Liu."

"Master Liu has been… crippled and turned into a eunuch."

Mu Yaoyao listened blankly as the two servants cried and repeated it twice, before realizing what had happened. She stumbled back two steps, her face instantly turning pale, the color draining away.