The Vanishing Beauty - Chapter 2 - 1
Chapter 2 - 1
If not looking is one thing, the moment she did, Liren ended up staying away for three whole days before coming home.
Of course, it was for work. Yet Yu Jia always had the nagging feeling that her husband was throwing a tantrum.
Busy in the kitchen, Yu Jia prepared Liren's favorite old duck soup with sour radishes. As it was almost ready, she asked Liren to come and taste it for seasoning.
Liren poked his head out from behind his book for a split second. "You taste it."
"I'm worried it might be too salty."
Still he didn't move, gnawing away at his copy of Das Kapital. After arriving in the metropolis, he learned that the big boss thoroughly studied Das Kapital and that several of his colleagues were frantically cramming it, which immediately filled him with an intense sense of crisis. Stung by a desire to do better, he acquired a complete set of the works of Marx and Engels, reading through them meticulously day and night. Worried that he was working himself to the bone, Yu Jia had merely suggested he pick out the key points to read. Liren immediately retorted, "How can one be slack in scholarship? You must study every person and every work."
She had no choice but to let him be.
"Dear." Yu Jia held up the soup ladle. A pool of duck soup hovered there, waiting to be sampled. Irritated at being called, Liren slammed his book shut and came over to take a sip. When Yu Jia asked how it was, Liren replied, "What's the big deal? Whether it's too salty or too bland." Yu Jia knew he was still mad about what happened the other day; unless they cleared the air, it seemed it wouldn't just blow over. He always liked to nitpick over trivial things.
Liren had this flaw: in front of outsiders, he was magnanimous, but with those closest to him, he was prone to petty calculation. Yu Jia said, "It wasn't that I wanted to go find you the other day; it was your daughter who saw how heavy the rain was and insisted on going to deliver your umbrella." A far-fetched excuse. Could a workplace that big possibly lack an umbrella?
Liren fell silent. Reclining diagonally on the couch, he went back to reading his book. Knowing that her remark had hit home, Yu Jia pressed on, "If you're going into seclusion, at least give a heads-up instead of leaving us to guess." Liren immediately fired back, "I forgot, I was too absorbed in conceptualizing, alright? Is that a capital offense? Bring a knife and chop off my head."
Such twisted logic. Refusing to argue further, Yu Jia cleared the table, served the dishes, and got ready for dinner. Liren didn't budge. Yu Jia went into the bedroom to call Sisi, reminding her to wash her hands, and whispered, "Tell your dad to eat." Only their daughter could get him to move.
Eat in silence, speak not while sleeping. Sisi kept her mother's "teachings" firmly in mind. However, ever since Liren came back, this rule of Yu Jia's had changed; she hoped Liren would talk to their daughter more. At some point, the husband and wife had grown sparse with words.
Liren used to be a chatterbox. Now, if she didn't ask, he certainly wouldn't say anything. If she did ask, he would speak in measured amounts—mostly half-sentences, as if words were made of gold.
Yu Jia had brought up her doubts before, and Liren explained that many matters at work required confidentiality. But Yu Jia wanted to talk about more than just work! Even if it was just neighborhood gossip or petty trifles... the simple joys of life.
Liren refused. To him, work was life now, and life was work. He wanted to ride this wave of grand fortune to climb a little higher. The addiction to advancing in officialdom was impossible to shake once it took hold.
Sisi took her seat, pulling out her phone and placing it right where her dad could see it. The screen had a massive crack running across it. The day before, she had told her mother she wanted to switch to an iPhone. Yu Jia flatly refused. "Keep your mind on your studies. As long as it can make calls and receive them, that's enough. Don't be so vain."
Sisi didn't appeal the decision. She knew her mother didn't make much money; she was like a penniless deity—stingy. Her dad was the real god of wealth. Over the past two years, as she grew older and more worldly, to be honest, she had started looking down on her mother a little more.
Frugality was a virtue. But when taken to an extreme, it just looked petty. She hated going shopping with her mother the most; even during the Lunar New Year, Yu Jia couldn't bear to buy herself a decent outfit. Yu Jia didn't like shopping either, always claiming it was a waste of time. Yet in her daughter Sisi's eyes, her mother had nothing at all except time. Who was she even saving that time for?
One of her mother's "divine skills" seemed like an absolute joke to Sisi. Every time she bought clothes on Taobao, to avoid misjudging them, Yu Jia would always order the exact same style in every single color. Once they arrived, she would carefully pick through them, keep the color she liked best, and return all the rest. What was the point of that? Toying with the shopkeepers? It wasn't that her mother had no free time; she was crazy idle.
"Your phone is broken." Liren sat down and spotted Sisi's phone instantly. He spoke in a flat statement.
"It's not really worth fixing," Sisi said.
"Buy a new one," Liren said without a moment's hesitation. Sisi didn't speak; she looked at her mother. Liren looked at his daughter, then at Yu Jia. His wife remained unruffled, holding her breath. Liren deliberately repeated, "Buy a new one." His word was law.
"Thanks, Dad!" Sisi was ecstatic. She congratulated herself inwardly—by borrowing the emperor's authority to command the nobles, once her dad agreed, her mom couldn't say a word. Her dad was truly the head of the household.
The meal was eaten in utter quiet. Yu Jia never contradicted her husband in front of their daughter. Liren cared deeply about his pride, and she needed to uphold his authority. Before going to bed that night, the two of them were supposed to exchange a few words as usual. That was when Yu Jia brought up the matter of the phone, meaning to say that they shouldn't spoil the child like that. The phone had been used for less than three years; if the screen was cracked, they could just replace it. There was no need to make a huge fuss and buy a brand-new one. "Chasing after every trend will run you ragged," Yu Jia summed up.
Liren didn't rush or flare up. He had always been a deep thinker, and Yu Jia had once consulted a fortune-teller about him. His day master was Ding fire; outwardly cheerful, he was actually gloomy inside—"possessing deep wisdom bordering on the uncanny." He let out an "hmm" and went back to reading his book. After a while, he closed the cover and asked, "How long have you two been here?" Yu Jia couldn't keep up with the jumps in his mind. Then she realized he meant how long they had been in the big city. Yu Jia stated the timeframe. Only then did Liren say, "This isn't our provincial capital, let alone our hometown. The child just arrived and needs to see the world; it's inevitable she'll feel a bit inferior. I think this vanity of hers needs to be satisfied. A girl needs to be a bit more confident."
Yu Jia instinctively wanted to retort: Did true confidence really come from a mobile phone? But upon second thought, she realized her husband's words weren't entirely unreasonable. Never mind their daughter; even she had felt hollow inside when she first arrived in the metropolis. It wasn't apparent on the surface simply because she was an adult with reason who knew how to put up a front. She was forcing herself to be confident. She believed that over time, as she grew familiar with things and figured out the lay of the land, she would genuinely become confident.
Their daughter was different. She was still young and lacked that kind of strong adaptability. If a mobile phone could bring their daughter even a tiny shred of confidence, wouldn't that be a good thing?
Since Liren put it that way, Yu Jia could only agree. Seeing that she was wavering, Liren pressed his advantage. "I was in the wrong that day; I should have made a phone call and given you a heads-up." He then offered a bitter smile before continuing, "I was just anxious." When Yu Jia asked what he was so anxious about, Liren said, "Only after arriving did I realize how complicated the environment is here. Interpersonal relationships are denser than a spider's web. Opportunities to draft official documents are rare enough as it is, so when you occasionally catch one, how can you not seize it tightly?"
Drafting documents was his signature skill.
Hearing her husband put it like that, Yu Jia felt a twinge of guilt instead. He was pouring his heart and soul into fighting for his career, yet she had caused him trouble over a momentary suspicion and worry. She understood Liren's hardships—she had known them back in the provincial capital. Even though they had lived apart, Yu Jia could have guessed the difficulties Liren might face with her eyes closed. Having been an official's wife for so long, Yu Jia had picked up a fair bit of political awareness. She simply hadn't expected the obstacles Liren encountered to be so immense, leaving him feeling like "a hero with no battlefield to conquer."
In a metropolis, who wasn't just a drop in the ocean upon entering? She had been somewhat opposed to taking this step at the time. But Liren was ambitious; since the opportunity presented itself, there was no reason not to seize it. With her husband intent on "achieving greatness," how could she act as a stumbling block? If she dared to utter a single word of dissent at a juncture like this, the spittle of her father-in-law, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and all the extended family members could drown her.
She could only support him—she had to support him. Regardless of whether she was a "virtuous" wife or not, since she was the "inner pillar," she had to assist.
"What can I do to help you?"
Liren smiled without answering. After a moment, he added, "Still, out of sight, out of mind with these things. In the future, when you and Sisi go out together to see the world, there's no need to stay here breathing smog every single day."
Yu Jia's scalp instantly went numb. It was this kind of trick again. Liren always loved to make preemptive decisions—framing things in a way that boxed you in so you would have to obey his verdict. She didn't want their daughter to study abroad, nor did she want to tag along. She felt that their marital relationship needed mending; previously, they had lived apart and were far away from each other. Now that they were finally close, if they didn't seize the chance to stand shoulder to shoulder, major problems would arise. Just as Yu Jia opened her mouth to speak—making it clear she disagreed with Sisi going abroad—Liren had already beaten her to it by lying down and saying he was going to sleep, reaching out to switch off the bedside lamp on his side. It was as if any help she could offer amounted to nothing more than making herself disappear from his sight.