The Early Spring - Chapter 129
Chapter 129 - Winter Night
Luan Nian was met with the sight of an extraordinarily disheveled Shang Zhitao.
The wind outside was bitterly cold, and she looked just as frozen. For the very first time, she wasn't standing tall and straight in front of him; her waist was bent slightly under the exhaustion.
Luke barked happily upon seeing him.
Luan Nian was furious. His eyes turned red as he cursed at her: "Are you fucking insane? You drove all the way here by yourself?"
"Do you have a death wish or something? If you don't want to live, just fucking tell me!"
"What is wrong with you?! How old are you?! You..."
Shang Zhitao walked over, grabbed him by the collar, pulled his head down, and kissed him fiercely. It took Luan Nian a great deal of effort to push her away, but she immediately wrapped herself around him again. Left with no choice, he pinched her face: "I have a cold."
"Then let's catch a cold together," Shang Zhitao said with a smile. She felt a slight urge to cry: "While I was on the road, I kept thinking that I had to tell you face-to-face that I love you just as much as I used to."
Luan Nian thought this woman was a complete idiot—an idiot to the point that a thin layer of moisture gathered in the corners of his eyes. Pressing his lips against her forehead so she wouldn't see how moved he was, he asked softly, "How long did you drive?"
"Over ten hours."
"Do you know how dangerous that is?"
"I know. But I wanted to bring Luke to see you." Shang Zhitao wrapped her arms tightly around Luan Nian, asking softly, "Luan Nian, are you crying?"
"Nonsense."
"Let me see." Shang Zhitao suddenly lifted her head and saw Luan Nian's reddened eyes. Feeling too embarrassed, he turned his body away to hide his face. But Shang Zhitao kept hopping around to catch a glimpse; as he kept dodging, she kept circling him, until he finally froze. Only then did Shang Zhitao see the tears welling up in Luan Nian's eyes.
He surely had no idea that when he shed tears, his eyes held glittering, starry lights.
Shang Zhitao's heart was instantly filled to the brim by him. Luan Nian wiped his face, dragged Shang Zhitao into his arms, and held her tightly.
For a period of time, Luan Nian had felt that there was a certain distance between him and Shang Zhitao. It had seemed as if everything in her heart was more important than him—her work, her family, Luke, her friends. Luan Nian was not a perfect partner; he was possessive to a fault, and he needed Shang Zhitao to hold him close in her heart.
She had done so.
And his mind was finally at ease.
Shang Zhitao stood on her tiptoes to kiss his chin. Because he was sick, he had been cooped up at home, and a layer of dark stubble had sprouted across his face, pricking her skin. Looking at her face, which had turned beet red from the friction, Luan Nian suddenly recalled those early years when she would blush at the slightest thing.
"Shang Zhitao."
"Hmm?"
"Even though I'm very angry, I'm really happy that you came."
Luan Nian held her as they lay together on the bed. Though both were thoroughly exhausted, neither felt like sleeping. Shang Zhitao began to chatter away continuously: "I've actually met Zang Yao before, you know. That year downstairs at the hotel in Guangzhou, she came to find you in the middle of the night. So were you two dating back then?"
"?" Luan Nian knit his brows: "Are you out of your mind, Shang Zhitao? Do I look like someone who dates just anyone?"
"But she came to see you in the middle of the night, you two traveled together, and you even sent her flowers..."
Luan Nian sat up and looked at her with absolute seriousness: "How do you know we traveled together?"
"She posted travelogues on a website, and I saw them. We had just slept together for the first time back then, and I was so heartbroken."
"And yet you didn't ask me a single thing?"
"I didn't."
"Why?"
"I had no right to."
A sudden wave of heartache washed over Luan Nian. He suddenly understood just how many unspoken grievances Shang Zhitao had suffered under him over all those years. Was that how her heart had cooled down, little by little? Misunderstanding that he loved someone else, being rejected by him, until she gradually lost the courage to take things seriously or love him again?
"So you feel that Sun Yuanzhu was the most special person to you, is that it?" Luan Nian asked her.
"Shang Zhitao, I've always been jealous of him. Because no matter what happened to you, he was always the first person you thought of. There was even a period of time when I felt you loved him."
"So, did you ever love him?"
Hearing that name—at once distant and near—Shang Zhitao finally sat up and took hold of Luan Nian's hand: "Do you want to hear the truth, Luan Nian?"
"I want to tell you the complete truth." Shang Zhitao's eyes grew slightly red: "Back then, I lived in constant fear every single day. I always felt I wasn't good enough in any way, and one problem after another kept happening. He constantly helped me, cared for me, and protected me. I trusted him just like I trusted my own family. Sometimes I even felt he was more important than you, because you were forever out of reach, while family was right by my side."
"That's why I was in indescribable agony when he passed away." Shang Zhitao wiped her tears away: "Back then, I hated the way you looked down on us. Every single word you said about him and me was a slander against us."
"He has already left, in that manner. But there will forever be a corner in my heart reserved for him, because we once spent a long stretch of time together."
"Can you understand that?"
Shang Zhitao held his hand tight. She could lie to deceive him, saying that Sun Yuanzhu was merely an ordinary friend and that his passing no longer affected her in the slightest. But Shang Zhitao didn't want to do that. If she lied, it would be a profanation of her friendship with Sun Yuanzhu, as well as a profanation of her feelings for Luan Nian.
She refused to do that.
She wanted everything between them to be spotless, free of suspicion and insecurity. She wanted the two of them to start anew, cleanly and completely, starting from this very night.
"Do you believe me?" she asked once more.
Luan Nian pressed his lips against her forehead: "I believe you, Miss Shang Zhitao."
"I'm feeling a bit sleepy." Shang Zhitao pulled him down to lie back: "Are you still running a fever? Are you feeling any better?"
"Can we sleep in tomorrow?"
"What are we doing tomorrow?"
"I'm not going back, you know. I'm staying here for the New Year..."
"Go to sleep." Luan Nian turned off the light and reached out, only to catch empty air. The mattress shifted, and immediately after, a burning, completely bare body pressed close against his chest. Luan Nian caught his breath. Shang Zhitao's body was scorching hot, but her hands were icy cold. As those cold hands slid downward, Luan Nian's body stiffened slightly, and he grabbed her hand: "I'll pass my cold to you."
"Wouldn't it be great if we caught a cold together? That's assuming you still have the energy." Shang Zhitao's lips touched the shell of his ear: "It's not like you have to do the work anyway."
Imitating his exact tone, she sounded so spot-on that it ruined the romantic atmosphere.
Yet she quickly grew serious again, resuming her exploration.
She felt she had to do this today—to spend the very last bit of strength she had left alongside him. His competitive spirit thoroughly ignited by her, Luan Nian suddenly flipped over and drove deep inside her. He wouldn't even allow Shang Zhitao to let out a full sound, using his lips and tongue to seal her off completely.
When she was finally able to catch her breath, she heard Luan Nian whisper in her ear: "Shang Zhitao, I love you."
His breathing was erratic and his voice raspy. Closing her eyes, Shang Zhitao felt as though he had swept her away into a realm of fantasy. His low murmurs of love filled her ears—he had never uttered so many sweet words in his entire life, praising every spot his lips and hands touched, occasionally interjecting "I love you."
Just as Shang Zhitao felt he was so tender he barely resembled himself, he reverted to his usual self once more. Dragging her back out from that fantasy, he refused to let her let her mind wander, forcing her to focus solely on feeling his presence.
Intense, explosive, trembling.
With their foreheads pressed together, she tilted her head up to drink in his heavy sweat, only to be pushed back down onto the pillows by him. Refusing to let her move, he made her endure it all directly.
Finally, their strength was completely spent.
Shang Zhitao had a wonderful sleep, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him the entire night. No matter what posture he assumed, she insisted on squeezing right up against his side. Even in her sleep, she demanded that he hold her; if he tried to pull his hand away, she would express her discontent.
They had never been like this before, sleeping in the exact same bed with virtually no gap between them.
When Luan Nian opened his eyes the next day, he suddenly arrived at a strange conclusion: making love cured colds, because he felt entirely better. His mind was clear and his body felt light. Shang Zhitao in his arms felt like a small furnace, roasting him until his body ran hot.
He felt inclined to do something, but then heard the sound of Luke scratching at the door: the dog was about to burst.
Luan Nian threw on some clothes haphazardly and opened the door. Luke barked at him in annoyance before turning and running off. Grabbing the leash, Luan Nian caught up with it and took it outside for a quick pee at top speed. Having relieved itself, Luke was no longer restless, strutting through the residential complex with its head held high like a victorious hunting dog.
Dr. Liang called, and Luan Nian picked up, asking her, "What's up?"
"What time are you coming back to shop for New Year goods with us?" she asked him.
"I need to go to the company to grab some things later, then I'll head back," Luan Nian said. "Also, I'll probably bring someone back with me."
"Bring someone? Who?"
Luan Nian didn't say a word, waiting for Dr. Liang to catch on. After a moment, Dr. Liang finally said, "Shang Zhitao?"
"Mm."
Luan Nian heard Dr. Liang burst into loud laughter. She even turned around to say to Luan Nian's father: "What did I tell you? Our son won't blow it this time!"
Luan Nian's father let out a snort, yet a faint trace of joy was detectable in his voice.
"I need to prepare a gift for the girl. It's her first time coming to our house. What should I prepare? A handbag?"
"Don't," Luan Nian quickly stopped her. If Dr. Liang pulled out a handbag to give to Shang Zhitao as well, she would definitely think giving bags was a Luan family tradition—and she didn't particularly like them.
"A handbag won't do... then a red envelope? I'll go withdraw some cash later—fifty thousand? A hundred thousand?"
"There's no need. Why are you so nervous?" Luan Nian asked her. "Mom, you're someone who's seen her fair share of grand occasions."
"Shut your mouth. I'm worried that if I don't put in some effort and rely solely on you, you'll end up angering my daughter-in-law into running away again. If I treat her well, even if she wants to dump you later on, she might soften her heart when thinking of her future mother-in-law..." Dr. Liang nagged on until hanging up the phone.
Luan Nian looked at Luke and raised an eyebrow: "I'll take you along back home too. Leaving you home alone would be pretty pathetic."
Shang Zhitao didn't refuse to go home with Luan Nian, but she felt she couldn't show up empty-handed, yet she didn't have any gifts prepared.
She secretly asked Lumi: "I'm going to meet his parents. What should I bring?"
"There aren't that many rules about it. Just buy some pastry boxes to bring along. It looks polite and respectable, and there's plenty of time ahead."
"Alright. Then I'll accompany him to his company to pick up some stuff in a bit. Do you want to come down to meet me?"
"Holy shit! You're here? Of course!" Lumi finally registered the news.
It had been quite a few years since Shang Zhitao left WildBeauty.
Luan Nian parked his car in the underground garage. He went upstairs to grab his things while she headed above ground. That coffee shop was still open, though it looked a bit deserted with the New Year approaching.
Shang Zhitao pushed the door open and stepped inside. She noticed that the baristas from back then were no longer there, replaced by newer, younger faces, yet the coffee was as rich and fragrant as ever.
Watching the pedestrians rushing by outside, she recalled the six years she had spent here.
She felt truly fortunate that she hadn't wasted a single day of those six years. Looking back now, they were all heavy, meaningful memories.
She felt a wave of emotion, so much so that when Lumi saw her, her very first sentence was: "How is it? Revisiting your old haunts—are you overwhelmed with emotion?"
"I am!" Shang Zhitao slid a cup of coffee over to her: "Your favorite."
Neither of them spoke. Shang Zhitao mimicked Lumi, leaning back against the sofa in a relaxed posture as the two of them stared out at the withered tree outside.
Rising and falling with the passing of each year.
The tree had gained ten growth rings as well.
Luan Nian called her: "Come up and help me look for something. I can't find it."
"Is that really appropriate?"
"What's inappropriate about it? Hurry up." Without giving her a chance to bargain, he hung up the phone.
"Be brave, Shang Zhitao! What are you afraid of? Don't you still have me? If anyone dares to talk behind your back, I'll just beat them up and be done with it! Let's go!" Lumi stood up and pulled Shang Zhitao along: "Hold your head high and take some pride in it! That's right—this old lady slept with the Luke you all dream about! And I've been sleeping with him for years!" As Lumi spoke, she strode forward with huge steps. Following behind her, Shang Zhitao couldn't help but laugh.
Everyone changed, but Lumi never would. She was the exact same now as she had been before—living her life with utter freedom and clarity.
Yet when she filled out the visitor form and actually stepped into WildBeauty, her legs still went a little soft.
The elevator doors slid open, and the familiar office area instantly met her gaze, memories of the past rushing toward her. She could almost see her younger self, holding a laptop as she strode briskly toward the conference room, forever in a rush. Those endless meetings, those late nights working overtime, those repeated setbacks—they had all turned into medals stamped onto her.
A colleague recognized her, calling out in pleasant surprise: "Flora!"
Shang Zhitao called out her colleague's name as well, pulling her into an embrace. Hearing the name, others stood up too, seeing the earnest, brave girl from back then. WildBeauty held many stories about her. After she left, whenever colleagues brought her up, they would say, "That girl was truly impressive."
Everyone was deeply excited, gathering around her to catch up on old times, asking where she was now, what she was doing, and why she had suddenly visited the company.
Luan Nian stood at the door of his office, watching for a moment before finally calling out to her: "Shang Zhitao."
Everyone turned around to look at Luan Nian in surprise.
"We're running out of time. Help me look for something."
Luan Nian offered everyone a rare smile: "Clock off early today, everyone. Happy New Year in advance." Turning back to Shang Zhitao, he added, "Hurry up, we still need to hit the supermarket later."
Shang Zhitao's face instantly flushed red.
"Go on!" Lumi gave her a nudge. What was there to be afraid of! You just had to let the whole world know you were together!
Luan Nian met Shang Zhitao's gaze, with no intention of holding back. Rumors had been rife in the company that he preferred men, and every man in his social circle was handsome. Others rumored that he had a constant stream of girlfriends, a different one every month. Yet not a single person had ever seen his actual girlfriend. He had never feared rumors, but today, he suddenly felt a strong urge to introduce Shang Zhitao to them—in her capacity as his girlfriend.
Shang Zhitao stood at the door of his office, just like back then. His office remained cold and quiet, and the floor-to-ceiling window behind him was as spotless as ever.
"What are we looking for?"
"Found it."
A mischievous smile played on Luan Nian's lips: "Sit there and wait for me for a bit while I send an email."
"Oh."
Shang Zhitao sat down on his sofa, which let out a soft, dull creak—reminiscent of countless ambiguous moments from their past.
Luan Nian's ears and neck turned slightly red, yet he continued processing his emails with a deadpan expression.
Just as they were about to leave, Shang Zhitao suddenly asked him, "Is Tracy here?"
"She should be in a meeting."
"Can I go see her?"
"Go ahead."
Shang Zhitao jogged over to the door of Tracy's office, took a deep breath, and finally reached out to knock.
"Come in." Tracy's voice was as gentle as ever.
She pushed the door open gently and saw Tracy still on the phone. Tracy looked up, lowered her head, then quickly looked back up, suddenly bursting into a smile: "I have a guest here. Let's talk about this later."
Hanging up the phone, she stood up to give her a hug, and Shang Zhitao hugged her back.
"Where have you been all these years?"
"I went back to Harbin. I've been living very well." Shang Zhitao pointed toward Luan Nian's office, her expression apologetic.
Tracy stopped her: "I know, Flora. You don't need to feel sorry toward me. When it comes to love, who can ever make sense of it?"
"Tracy, I want to say a few words to you." Shang Zhitao stood up straight: "I want to thank you for giving me an opportunity back then. I know I was exceedingly mediocre, and if I hadn't met you, my life might have turned out entirely different. Thank you for choosing to believe in me no matter the circumstances, and thank you for helping me."
"I will be forever grateful."
Grateful that she had crossed paths with so many wonderful people.
She was extraordinarily lucky.