On My Way - Chapter 65
Chapter 65 - If a Girl Gets Confused, Her Whole Life Is Ruined
I sat in the passenger seat, the heater baking my face until it felt hot to the touch. I crossed the "Textile Factory" option off my notepad.
The remaining options were all mediocre at best; I would have to keep searching for a new location.
I let out a heavy sigh, and Zhou Ting glanced at me. “Is there anything you want to eat tonight?”
“Anything is fine. Why don’t we go back to my place to eat?” I said.
The relationship between my grandmother and me had become so strained that even breathing a little too loudly at home could incite a fit of irrational rage from her.
The only reprieve was when Zhou Ting came to see me.
Grandma stubbornly believed that my life had rotted and stunk, and that the only chance I had to "get ashore"—to have a normal life—was Zhou Ting.
“You get along well with Little Zhou, and then I’ll have something to look forward to,” she would say, speaking crazy nonsense with a calm face. “Otherwise, what is the point of me living? I might as well just hang myself.”
“I never said I wasn’t trying to get along with him,” I said with a forced smile.
Zhou Ting was truly a wonderful person.
He had a gentle temper, was kind and honest, would listen to me earnestly, and would spend hours accompanying my grandmother to her medical check-ups.
Ten years ago, if I had been obsessively infatuated with Cheng Xia, I wouldn’t have seen any other man.
Five years ago, if I had been obsessively infatuated with my work, I wouldn’t have seen his value, either.
But now, I was very tired. I couldn’t bear any more intense loves, hates, or grudges.
Zhou Ting’s plain, gentle nature was actually quite good.
Zhou Ting said, “I called Grandma and told her we won’t be going back to eat. Why don’t I take you to our restaurant to eat instead?”
I was busy listing tomorrow’s to-do items and replied offhandedly, “Sure.”
His family’s restaurant was quite upscale for our small city. Just inside the entrance was a large, wide glass tank where a snow-white silver arowana swam.
“Oh, Cousin, why are you here?” The girl at the reception desk asked in a crisp, bright voice.
“Bringing a friend for a bite. Is the sea cucumber I brought today ready?”
The girl gave me a look with an ambiguous meaning and smiled. “It’s in the back kitchen!”
Zhou Ting told me to sit down first while he went to the back kitchen to make arrangements.
I nodded and took out my notebook to continue working. Because the restaurant was so noisy, I had to be fully focused to concentrate.
That was why I didn’t notice the fleeting, almost imperceptible glances the young waitstaff were casting my way.
And I didn’t notice people walking back and forth in front of me.
Until a woman sat down opposite me and asked with a smile, “Are you always this busy?”
I looked up, glanced left and right, and said with confusion, “Uh, are you talking to me?”
“Oh, I’m Zhou Ting’s mother. We just happened to see you two. I’ve opened a private room; why don’t we all eat together?”
Huh?
Zhou Ting and I saw each other about once a week, but we had never explicitly said anything like "we are together."
Therefore, meeting the parents was completely out of the question.
But since we had run into them, I couldn’t hide.
I’ve survived thousands of drinking bouts in my life. If there were a "Social Death Leaderboard," this instance would be fighting for the top spot.
His father was a pot-bellied middle-aged man with droopy eyelids that made him look a bit fierce. After greeting me, he didn’t say much, just kept drinking to himself.
His mother, however, kept asking me questions. “What family do you have left?”
“My parents are divorced and both have their own families. I live with my grandmother.”
“Ah, then... they’re both retired, right? Do they have pensions?”
I hesitated for a moment and said, “No, but I bought them insurance.”
His mother asked again, “I heard from Zhou Ting that you work at Xinsheng? How much money do you make a month?”
“Ah, I’ve actually already resigned.”
His mother became a bit anxious. “Ah? Why did you resign? What for?”
“Because the company didn’t really match my personal development, so I was thinking of starting my own business.”
His mother sighed and said, “Well... isn’t it a bit late for you to start a business now?”
I glanced at Zhou Ting. He was looking at me while he ate, and to my surprise, he was waiting for my answer too.
I gave a bitter smile and tried to explain it in terms they could understand. “I work as a project manager. In this industry, once you reach a certain age, you have to work independently to maximize the connections and resources you’ve accumulated. You earn a bit more that way.”
“But it’s hard work, isn’t it? Running to construction sites, going through wind and rain... how will you take care of children in the future?”
I immediately stood up to fill his father’s empty wine glass and picked up a bottle of soda, asking, “Auntie, what would you like to drink?”
Clearly, she didn’t intend to let me off the hook on this topic. She continued, “Auntie is speaking bluntly. You’re not young anymore; this lifelong commitment to marriage needs to be put on the schedule.”
I said, “Yes, but my work is just starting, so it might not be very soon.”
His mother patted my arm anxiously. “Still not soon? This isn’t soon anymore...”
His father suddenly laughed, then tilted his head back and drained the glass in his hand. “The kids these days have hearts higher than the sky. ‘Starting a business’—heh—thinking they can all strike it rich.”
An awkward silence fell over the table.
“My son is the same way, but boys don’t think clearly—they can waste a few years. But if a girl gets confused, her whole life is ruined. Don’t you agree?”
I didn’t speak, but something inside me loosened.
It was like facing a job interview where you couldn’t provide a satisfactory answer to every question the interviewer asked; naturally, you would feel nervous.
But now, I knew the interview result had already been decided behind the scenes, so I didn't feel anything at all.
Zhou Ting looked at me uneasily, then at his father. “Dad, are you drunk?”
“Ah, yes. I’ll leave first so you two can eat comfortably.” He grabbed the keys off the table and said to Zhou Ting’s mother, “Take care of Little Ren. If she wants anything, have Old Zhou make it, eh!”
What could I do? Could I immediately stop him and give a lecture on how "a woman’s value is not found in reproduction"?
I could only stand up and smile as I sent him off.
Zhou Ting’s mother glanced at Zhou Ting, then picked up some food and put it into my bowl. “Little Ren, your uncle is just drunk; don’t pay him any mind.”
She added euphemistically, “Our family isn't incredibly wealthy, but we have enough for the two of you to live a life of leisure. Even if you don't have a job, it doesn't matter.”
“Auntie, actually, I wouldn’t starve even if I didn’t work now,” I smiled. “I went to construction sites in Africa when I was nineteen, and I was leading projects independently by twenty-five. I’m not exactly ‘financially free,’ but at least in this small city in the Northeast, it’s enough to get by.”
“But I haven’t worked myself to death all this time just to live a life of leisure—at least not just to stay home and raise children.” I stood up and gathered my things. “I’m sorry, Auntie. My family is urging me, and I have to head home.”
I walked out the door and quickly hailed a taxi. By the time I reached home, Zhou Ting had chased after me.
He looked at me with red eyes. “I didn’t know my parents were coming today. I’m sorry, it’s all my fault for not being prepared.”
“That’s not what’s important, Zhou Ting.” I cut him off. “So, why didn’t you speak up for me just now?”
Zhou Ting widened his eyes, staring blankly at me, seemingly having never thought I would ask directly. “I... I didn’t know what to say...”
“Because you also think what they said made sense.” I sighed. “You didn’t know how to refute them, right?”
The more harmonious a family is, the more their worldviews are fixed.
Zhou Ting took a deep breath. He said, “If you don’t want children, even if you never have children in your whole life, that’s okay, too.”
Once he finished, his face flushed red. Yes, the appearance of his parents had accelerated everything; we clearly weren’t even at a stage in our relationship where we should be discussing this.
“But I truly cannot understand why you would quit your job when you were doing so well. I feel it’s very unstable, very unsettling,” he said in a low voice. “We aren’t that young anymore. Isn’t it better to just live like this?”
I looked at him for a long time, remembering how, when he first learned I had quit, he had asked in astonishment: “Why didn’t you tell me?”
At the time, I thought that was bizarre. Why did I have to tell him about my personal business?
Thinking back now, the foreshadowing was laid then—my act of quitting was completely different from his vision of our future life.
I opened my mouth, wanting to explain my grand ambitions, but then I realized: explaining my thoughts to him would be no different from teaching the intricacies of Confucian hierarchy to an American.
We were destined to be people from two different worlds.
I could only smile and say, “Zhou Ting, I’m very tired today. Let’s talk another time.”
After I got home, I felt extremely exhausted and just wanted to take a shower and go to bed immediately.
However, I realized Grandma wasn’t home. Just as I was wondering where she was, I noticed my bedroom door was wide open, with clear signs that it had been rummaged through.
A buzzing sound filled my brain, and I rushed over to frantically search for my wallet.
It was gone. Along with it was my bank card.
—The card that contained all the money Yu Shixuan and I had.