On My Way - Chapter 61
Chapter 61 - The So-Called Carp Leaping Over the Dragon Gate
The air in the early hours of the morning always carried an indescribable, biting chill. I stood under a streetlamp, irritably lighting my third cigarette.
When I lit the fourth, I saw Cheng Xia’s car.
In countless stories, he had appeared in my field of vision just like this, bringing with him intense joy, desire, and destruction.
He remained the same now, wearing only a smoky-gray overcoat. Tall and aloof, he walked toward me and asked, “What happened?”
I said, “The meeting is tomorrow. You and your team are the only ones with an architectural background, right?”
“What’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath and said, “The local compression calculation for the high axial force columns is wrong; it’s substandard. The entire model needs to be redone, but we’re out of time…”
He paused slightly, “How could you make such a low-level mistake?”
“Actually, the client is mainly looking at the concept. We can definitely solve this issue later, so please don’t bring it up for now…”
“But if a design draft cannot be implemented, even the best idea is just a piece of waste paper. You work in engineering; you know that.”
I said in a low voice, “I’m begging you this once.”
He didn’t speak. A cold wind swirled, stirring the withered leaves with a rustling sound.
“In what capacity are you begging me? As an ex-girlfriend, or as an ordinary friend?”
His voice could be described as gentle. Then, slowly, he leaned in, staring into my eyes, and asked, “Dongxue, what can you give me in return?”
The distance was too close.
I felt something roar deep within my body. Every sense was incredibly acute; I could even see myself in the depths of his pupils—a flustered version of me.
“What do you want?”
“Do you really not know what I want?” His voice was even softer, his breath smelling of citrus. “Why did I come back? Why did I let Yu Shixuan participate in this project—”
I looked at him in astonishment, trembling all over. “What do you mean?”
We hadn’t had much contact since we reconnected.
He seemed to have completely healed, his presence soft and bright, with an added sense of composure and rigor refined by the passage of time.
I thought we could continue like this, like a pair of old friends, treating everything from the past as nothing more than a long dream.
But what exactly did he mean?
“We ended a long time ago, Cheng Xia,” I said. “Things that have been broken cannot be pieced back together. You have your life, and I have mine.”
He didn’t say anything else, just smiled and said, “Let’s go. Let’s get some breakfast.”
He turned to open the car door, but I didn’t move.
He said with a smile, “In that case, should I be the first one to ask about the local compression issue?”
“Those are two different things!”
I hopped into the car in two quick strides.
Cheng Xia didn’t say he would help me, nor did he say he wouldn’t. Over breakfast, he deflected every one of my persistent questions with ease, asking me if I wanted anything else, and saying if I didn’t, we would leave.
I devoured the pan-fried buns, the tofu pudding, the deep-fried dough sticks, the crispy fried cakes, and the plain noodle soup…
In the end, I realized he had become too cunning; I couldn’t get a single thing out of this old fox. I could only hold my stomach and storm off, fuming.
All the way home, I agonized over my phrasing, trying to figure out how to tell Yu Shixuan gently so she wouldn’t lose her composure and could calmly get through today’s meeting.
To my surprise, when I got home, she was already awake. While eating breakfast with sleepy eyes, she said to me, “Principal Wu said something came up on their end, so the meeting is postponed until Wednesday.”
I was stunned for a moment, then dropped my bag and pounced on her as she sat there looking blank. “Do you have any idea what kind of low-level mistake you made? I’m going to kill you!”
“Don’t touch me, your hands are cold! You’re freezing me to death!”
In any case, we had bought ourselves a few more days, allowing Yu Shixuan to properly revise the draft.
While she recalculated the data at a leisurely pace, she lectured me: “What are you panicking about? They don’t know anything about construction, and Cheng Xia won’t make things difficult for us.”
“How do you know he won’t?”
“Doesn’t he still like you?”
I jumped up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on and said, “Don’t talk nonsense!”
“What’s the big deal? Aren’t old flames meant to be used?” she said.
“What kind of twisted worldview is that!”
“You don’t think utilizing men is weak or shameful, do you?” She smiled, still staring at the computer screen. “When men use any means necessary, they’re called ambitious heroes, but when women use their beauty or feelings, they’re called cheap? Bullshit. That’s just a lie told by men. If you ask me, use whatever you have at your disposal.”
I was annoyed and didn’t want to listen to her babble. “Anyway, I have nothing to do with Cheng Xia anymore. You better focus on your work. If you make a low-level mistake like that again, I really will beat you.”
Yu Shixuan rolled her eyes and went back to work.
During this period, because I frequently asked for time off and had a strained relationship with the assistant, Boss Wang was already very dissatisfied with me, often taking shots at me with his words.
“Manager Ren is quite a character, isn’t she? Treating the company like a hotel, coming and going as she pleases.”
“My business is small, but I won’t tolerate people with divided loyalties. If you can do the work, do it; if not, get out.”
Honestly, my resentment was as heavy as a ghost that had been dead for ten years.
The company isn’t your relative’s shop, nor is it some little mistress you’re keeping. You know damn well who is actually doing the work, don’t you?
I might have taken time off, but when did I not finish the work for you, working from the dead of night until dawn while having my pay docked?
But of course, I dared not say it out loud; I still relied on him for my livelihood.
On the day of Yu Shixuan’s formal presentation, I went to ask for leave, but HR made it difficult and told me to speak directly to the boss.
When I entered the office, it was thick with smoke; Boss Wang was playing cards.
“Boss Wang, there is something I’d like to discuss with you.”
Boss Wang was in the middle of a hand, paper strips stuck to his face. The assistant laughed shrilly, and the others kept their heads down; no one paid any attention to me, and not a single person even looked my way.
I stood there awkwardly, watching them play, laugh, and chat in such high spirits, as if I didn’t exist.
For two whole hours, my legs went numb, and I felt a piercing hunger in my stomach.
Only then did Boss Wang throw his cards down and say, “Done! This is boring!”
“You won all our money, and now you say it’s boring!” The assistant giggled, her gaze sweeping over me intentionally or otherwise.
I repeated myself, “Boss Wang, tomorrow at home…”
“Then you just don’t need to come in,” he interrupted me very rudely. “My temple is small; it can’t accommodate a ‘Great Buddha’ like you!”
As soon as those words were spoken, the entire office fell silent. Everyone kept their heads down, only glancing furtively between us.
“Hmm? Does that work? Go do your business!” He said again, tilting his head to look at me.
The whole room was full of my subordinates; I knew he was trying to assert his authority. I had to lower my head and act subservient enough to get through this.
I took a deep breath and said, “I am very sorry, Boss Wang. I really have had too many things going on lately. I sincerely apologize to you and all my colleagues.”
The assistant let out a snort of laughter, then feigned panic by covering her mouth.
“No need for apologies; I can’t handle that!” Boss Wang laughed with a mocking tone. “You guys don’t know who Manager Ren is, do you? She used to be one of President Feng’s people at S-Construction!”
“No way? Old Feng really isn’t picky!”
Amidst the raucous laughter, I clenched my fists, then slowly, very slowly, released them.
I smiled at them and said, “Boss Wang, I’m very sorry, but I must take this leave tomorrow. Since that’s how you feel, I resign.”
Boss Wang probably didn’t expect me to say that; his smile froze on his face.
I turned and walked away, and behind me came the sound of something being thrown.
The next day, Yu Shixuan and I went to Nanbei University.
Before entering the conference room, we went to the restroom. I helped her fix her bangs; no matter how arrogant a girl is, she feels a bit nervous at a time like this.
“Dongxue, do you think I can do it?”
Before I could answer, my phone buzzed. It was Boss Wang.
He rarely called me; it must be something urgent.
Yu Shixuan bit her lip, looking at me uneasily. I gave her a reassuring smile and switched off my phone.
“We will definitely succeed.”
—
“The design of the ‘Carp Leaping Over the Dragon Gate.’ As the center of the building complex on the east and west sides, the library acts as a gate.”
“My personal interpretation of this gate is, first and foremost, a gate of time and space. Freshmen enter through this gate when they arrive on campus, and seniors bid farewell to their alma mater and leave through this same gate. The change inside and outside the gate is something that etches itself into the soul.”
“From another perspective, it also embodies the transformation of Nanbei University, and indeed the entire city—from a vocational college training industrial talent, it has gradually become a modern, comprehensive university. This is a profound and lengthy history.”
“Therefore, the library’s design uses architectural language to interpret this historical depth. By using a central axis as a divide, the two sides are set at seventy-five degrees, with two different surface textures of void and solid, allowing the building to present two distinct types of light and shadow…”
Yu Shixuan spoke eloquently at the front, and the play of light and shadow landing on her fair face looked like a winding, long road.
Cheng Xia sat opposite me. We occasionally caught each other’s eyes, only to quickly look away.
It was only then that I suddenly understood his design of the Carp Leaping Over the Dragon Gate—why the ‘Carp’ included long, narrow linear structures.
I once told him that I was like a carp dragging a long, heavy chain, trying to leap over the Dragon Gate.
At that time, I thought the hardest thing was to swim against the current, toward that highest point.
But later I realized, the hardest part is swimming halfway, with only emptiness ahead and behind.
Even if Grandma hadn’t fallen ill, and I had continued to work myself to death at S-Construction, I would just be another ‘Old Feng.’
And here, with Boss Wang, there was no room for advancement; I was nothing more than a dog that anyone could kick.
If I truly tried to start my own business, I lacked the courage to stake it all on a gamble.
The world is vast and boundless, yet I am trapped in a prison of my own making.