On My Way - Chapter 54

Chapter 54 - Don't Worry About My Feelings, I'm Made of Iron

My grandmother eventually found out about her illness.

It was my own damn fault for informing my father—in my grandmother’s heart, there were only two people: me and my father.

The result was that he flew into a rage, bellowing and causing a scene in the hospital corridor:

"Are you out of your mind?! How old is she to be undergoing surgery! She won’t even make it off the operating table!"

"I’ve already asked around; this illness can’t be cured at all. It’s just going to burn through money like water!"

"She’s at such an old age! Aren’t you just making her suffer for nothing!"

I said, "First, the doctor said she is fit for surgery. Second, I have the money, and I can afford to burn it."

In the hospital ward, Grandma’s face had gone pale, and she had shriveled into a ball.

I walked in, took her hand, and said, "I have two things to tell you. First, I have millions in the bank; if you pull through this, we’ll spend it freely. Second, I’m not leaving—I’ll stay right here with you. Don’t you want to see me get married? Don’t you want to see your great-grandchildren? If you want those things, then we have to get past this hurdle."

Grandma remained listless, not saying a word.

When I stepped outside, Yu Shixuan was standing by the window. The new green of spring made her face look as delicate as a peach blossom, yet the words she spoke were cruel.

She said, "A three-year-old would know how to choose. You really are too stupid, Ren Dongxue."

I walked over, leaned my head on her shoulder, and said, "Shut up, let me rest for a moment."

In truth, I was completely out of options.

How should I put it? The choices this world gives to the poor are just that limited.

Grandma ultimately chose to have the surgery.

Before being wheeled into the operating room, her withered hands grabbed mine, and she said, "Snow, you need to get married—find a good man."

"I’ll get married as soon as you come out," I said.

She grabbed my father then and said, "Don't let your heart lean to one side. Snow is your daughter too. If you don’t feel for her, who else do you expect to?"

My father’s eyes reddened as he said, "Mom, don't you worry."

I watched as she was pushed into the operating room, and suddenly, I burst into tears, snot and tears streaming down my face, completely losing my composure.

"Grandma—"

"Grandma—"

My heart-wrenching wails echoed through the entire corridor. My father dragged me away, saying, "Are you mourning a funeral? Stop crying, it’s bad luck."

I knew that, but I couldn't stop.

It hurt too much. I didn't know how else to swallow such vast grievance and agony.

—

The surgery was a success.

That means she didn't die on the operating table, and they successfully removed the diseased tissue.

However, if it had metastasized, those hundreds of thousands of yuan would essentially have been thrown away for nothing.

There were no beds available in Beijing, so we could return to a local hospital for treatment; she could finally go home.

"Where are we going back to?" she asked in a weak, dazed voice.

"Where do you want to go back to?"

"I... I want to go back to our hometown."

"Then we’ll go back to our hometown."

We returned to the Northeast. My grandmother’s old, dilapidated house had long since been sold, and my father wouldn't have let us live with him anyway, so I rented a house for a thousand yuan a month that came with a small courtyard.

My father asked, "You should be going back to work soon. I’ll come to take care of your grandma, but you give me six hundred yuan a month."

It wasn't a lot of money to ask for, but I didn't give it to him.

I said, "No need. I’ll take care of her myself."

After all, I had resigned.

My father’s eyes went round. "What did you say? You quit such a good job?"

He cursed me for a full hour before slamming the door and leaving.

That was a dark and dim period of time.

The smell of medicated plasters, the smell of the elderly, the stale air, the scent of disinfectant...

And night after night, the pain that kept Grandma from sleeping, her unconscious moans—they were magnified infinitely against my eardrums.

At her final check-up, she was finally cleared to be discharged.

Every day, I fed her a handful of medicine, massaged her body, cooked her meals myself, and helped her take small, careful steps around the courtyard.

Sunshine fell upon her pale face, and passersby would say, "Old lady, your granddaughter is so good to you!"

A touch of color would rise to her cheeks: "I, oh, I’m so blessed!"

In the summer, the courtyard was filled with weeds, lush and overgrown. I bought a large ceramic vat, raised koi and lotus flowers, and kept them for Grandma to watch.

She smiled and said, "This yard is nice. When I’m better next year, we’ll tidy it up properly."

"Okay."

In the autumn, the area outside our complex was covered with cabbage drying in the sun. I bought a hundred pounds, dried them in the courtyard, and following Grandma’s instructions, packed them into a large vat—authentic Northeast sauerkraut.

Winter snow covered the courtyard, and icicles hung from the window frames. Grandma tremblingly pasted paper-cuts on the glass, saying they were beautiful.

At first, my phone was filled with all sorts of messages.

Countless people from my former company reached out, including those who didn't know I had resigned, fawning over me as "Manager Ren."

By winter, all went silent.

Only "Tyrannosaurus" Engineer Li and a few others sent me New Year’s greetings, promising to come visit me in the Northeast when traveling became easier.

I replied to them one by one.

Finally, the following spring, during a follow-up exam, the doctor told me there were no signs of metastasis.

Ah.

I had built high-rise buildings, adventured through Africa, and managed projects worth tens of millions.

But I knew this was the first miracle of my life.

Grandma started tidying up the small courtyard just as she had said, and I didn't stop her.

I hired a nanny who had been a nurse and also started giving my father five hundred yuan a month.

Then, I began interviewing.

The industry was in a slump; the entire market was sluggish. Although my resume was considered impressive for our hometown, I was still being nitpicked by everyone.

"You spent time at S Construction, so why did you leave? I heard that place isn't easy to get into!"

"Falling leaves return to their roots, you know!" I said with a smile. "We Northeasterners don't stay in the South well."

The interviewer chuckled and said, "Is it more like a tiger trapped on the plains... Hahaha, just kidding, don't mind me!"

Others minded my education.

"This, you aren't even a college graduate! You’d have to start from the bottom. You were a manager before—can you handle it?"

I still kept a smile: "If there’s work to be done, I’ll do it."

Still others minded that I was unmarried.

"You’re at this age... when do you plan to get married and have kids?"

"I don't have to."

Finally, just as I was about to despair, I suddenly received a phone call.

It was Bat. He was here on a business trip and stopped by to see me.

We met at a Northeast-style restaurant. As soon as I walked in, I saw Bat’s bear-like frame—it truly blocked out the sky, making the pot-bellied uncle next to him look positively delicate by comparison.

Bat introduced us, saying, "This is Manager Ren from S Construction, and this is Manager Wang from Xinsheng Construction."

Manager Wang gave me a thumbs-up as soon as he saw me: "The swordswoman! Our General Manager always said he wanted to meet you; we’ve finally caught our chance."

The meal was painful because Manager Wang was busy showing off his knowledge of everything, from corporate management to macroeconomic regulation. But his brain was so painfully hollow that even I, someone adept at flattery, didn't know what to say.

In the end, he raised his glass and said, "Manager Ren, if you don't mind, I have a Vice President position open. Let’s work together to revive the project."

He was a branch company affiliated with a large construction firm that had just won a municipal project with a low bid—he was setting up the company just to eat the dumplings for the sake of the vinegar.

After the meal, I sent Bat back to his hotel.

My impression of him, aside from his constant sighing about "the county being poor," was that he was quite the bookworm.

I never expected in a million years that he would reach out to help me.

"It’s only right. Without you, there would be no Wuleji Village today," he said. "Actually, many people have been asking who handled that project. I’m just helping you build a bridge—if it weren't for the current economic climate, you wouldn't have any trouble finding work."

I smiled slightly and didn't respond.

After a long while, he added, "Why did you quit S Construction? It’s truly such a shame."

I laughed: "It’s alright. Last month I heard that S Construction had massive layoffs; if I hadn't quit, I probably would have had to go anyway."

"How is that possible? They aren't stupid. You were so... so capable."

"Hahaha, thank you for thinking so highly of me."

"I mean it." He looked at me with stubborn intensity. "You are the most capable person I have ever met."

I only felt as though something was stuck in my throat, unable to be spat out or swallowed.

I avoided his bright, earnest eyes, smiled brightly to say goodbye, and on the way back, I bought another small bottle of white liquor.

Spring in the Northeast still carried a biting chill. I sat on the side of the street, drinking the liquor in small sips, the buzz making me feel strangely warm.

I remembered one year ago, I had also finished drinking and tremblingly signed the contract.

I knew that refusing the overseas project, combined with my frequent leave, meant getting fired was only a matter of time.

But at that time, I needed money—a lot, a lot of money.

I had no choice but to sell that house, use my six years of savings from Africa, plus the mortgage payments I had killed myself to earn over this past year. It all went to exchange for this beautiful, warm, "high-class" home that met my dreams.

I finally didn't have to pay a mortgage anymore.

But I had nothing left.