On My Way - Chapter 52

Chapter 52 - She Is My Pride

It is hard to catch a taxi on New Year's Eve. By the time I finally made it home, it was already nine o'clock at night.

The Spring Festival Gala had already begun. The residential complex was filled with bright red lanterns, and a few children were secretly setting off firecrackers.

When I pushed open the door, Grandma was leaning on the sofa, fast asleep, with only the television still blaring.

She had dyed her hair just a few days ago, but it wasn't done well; there was still more white than black. The chandelier reflected the deep lines on her face, clear to the point of cruelty.

As I took off my scarf, I said: "Grandma, if you want to sleep, go inside to your room."

She was startled awake and mumbled: "Why are you only just back... tell me, have you eaten?"

"I have, my boss treated us to dinner," I lied, fearing she would try to get up and busy herself, all while thinking about cooking instant noodles later.

Just then, a girl poked her head out of the kitchen and said: "That won't do! The dumplings were made for nothing!"

It was Harina. I was taken aback, then relaxed and said: "You aren't going out today?"

Harina had been living at my place. At first, she studied English, but later she found a job as a Taobao model and was always going out for photo shoots.

That is the one benefit of a city; everything is wasted, but beauty is absolutely never wasted.

"I finished work early," she said. "I have to spend New Year's with Grandma. You aren't going home anyway!"

Another person poked their head out of the kitchen—it was Yu Shixuan, her dimples soft and shallow: "And me."

Yu Shixuan could please anyone she wanted to. Grandma was beaming and explained to me: "Xiao Yu came over this afternoon and said she wanted to give you a surprise; she made a whole table of dishes."

Harina rolled her eyes and undermined her: "It's a pity that besides boiling the shrimp, none of it is edible."

"Grandma, tell me, isn't it actually quite tasty? My sister is slandering me for no reason!" Yu Shixuan said, sounding like she was pouting.

Grandma fell for it completely and said repeatedly: "It's tasty, it's tasty."

Harina’s eyes rolled back so far they nearly touched the sky: "Tasty what! If I hadn't stir-fried it again for you, we would have had food poisoning ages ago."

The two of them still couldn't stand the sight of each other. Seeing that they were about to fight again, I quickly put on my apron and said: "Alright, alright, thank you for your hard work. Go watch TV, I'll finish up."

Yu Shixuan felt as if she had been granted amnesty, tossing the apron aside and running off faster than a rabbit. After Harina watched TV with Grandma for a while, she returned to the kitchen to help me.

The sounds of the Spring Festival Gala echoed in the living room, and outside the window came the sounds of exploding fireworks. With two beautiful young girls keeping us company, I finally relaxed. Fortunately, Grandma’s Spring Festival wouldn't be too bleak.

While kneading the dough, I chatted with Harina about daily life.

I asked: "How is the modeling work going?"

"Pretty good. They all say I was born for this," she said, pulling up photos on her phone to show me. She looked like a free and wild spirit on the grasslands, and with heavy makeup, she looked like a cold, stunning, and compelling rose.

What hadn't changed was the vibrant vitality in her brows and eyes.

"It’s just really tiring. I can only eat one slice of apple a day," she said. "And yet, they still think I’m fat!"

"Maintaining your figure is expected, but has anyone given you any trouble?"

She smiled slightly and said: "When the clients get impatient, some even slap people. If it were you, what would you do?"

"I'd slap them back!" I said. "I’m here to make money, not to be beaten!"

This was, of course, just to set an example for her. In reality, given my personality, if someone slapped my left cheek, I would immediately offer them my right, and probably compliment their manicure while I was at it.

Harina laughed and said: "I want to slap them too, but I'm already so hungry I don't have the strength."

We both smiled bitterly at the same time.

Although this line of work paid well, it was a "youth rice bowl"—dependent on one's youth. I had always tried to persuade her to switch to a different career path.

Harina deftly folded a tray of dumplings. After putting them into the pot, she stood with her back to me and said: "Sister, I want to discuss something with you."

"What is it?"

A sense of unease quietly stirred in my heart.

"I want to go home," she said.

I froze.

Since coming here, she had adapted like a fish in water, frequently wearing beautiful makeup and visiting popular social media spots. Many boys had driven luxury cars to pick her up.

I had always worried that the city’s dazzling lights would blind her, but... going back?

"Why?"

"I don't feel like this is my home," she said. "Also, my grandparents miss me very much, and they don't have that many Spring Festivals left to live..."

...Yes. She had relied on her grandparents for survival since she was a child. Even though I had hired villagers to look after them, they still talked about Harina every single day.

This was understandable.

Yet, I still felt a vague sense of anger.

I had used every ounce of my strength to help her rise.

At her age, no one had told me which path to take, and no one was willing to pay for my education.

I had worked until I was nearly killed just to get one opportunity.

I said: "If you miss this opportunity, the doors of the city might close to you forever."

"I don't find it meaningful," she said, looking down while folding dumplings. "In the city, you work hard, save money to buy a house, have children, and then save more money to buy a house... I have a whole vast grassland."

In the end, I didn't say anything further. I only asked: "Then what are your plans after you go back... Don't tell me you're going back to get married! I'll beat you!"

She laughed and said: "Don't worry, I won't get married."

She had saved one hundred thousand yuan and planned to buy another house to run as a bed-and-breakfast specifically for tourists.

"Since I have an edge with English, I can cater specifically to foreigners," she said. "Also, I want to open an online store to sell our grassland's cheese, mutton, and beef jerky to the cities, and even abroad!"

I wanted to say something, hesitated, and then swallowed it: "That's a good idea."

She had only worked for a few months and had already saved one hundred thousand yuan, which meant if she continued to be a model, she would surely make a fortune. Yet, she gave it up just like that.

To have that kind of resolve is, in itself, a form of strength.

After the dumplings were in the pot, we had a lively New Year’s feast. With the flattery of two beautiful sycophants, Grandma even drank a small glass of white liquor, which was rare: "I used to be a heavy drinker! A small bottle of Erguotou every day! Dongxue wouldn't let me, but I can't even drink that much now."

"That wasn't Erguotou, just some inferior bulk alcohol. It was too cold in the winter, and you drank it to ward off the chill."

"It was called Erguotou!" Grandma insisted, stiffening her neck.

"Fine, fine, Erguotou."

Grandma really was drunk. Her face was flushed as she said: "I... I don't have many talents. The best thing I've done in this life is to raise such a good child. In all the surrounding villages, who doesn't envy me? Such a big house..."

Yu Shixuan laughed until she was doubled over. Harina rolled her eyes at her: "It's true, isn't it? My sister is so amazing!"

"Stop drinking and eat your dumplings, old lady. You're talking nonsense!"

I felt awkward and shoved a dumpling into her mouth. Grandma dodged me and said: "I only have one worry now. I'm afraid that one day when I'm gone, I'll leave her all alone. How miserable that would be."

The atmosphere quieted down. Yu Shixuan smoothed things over: "Grandma, you will definitely live to be a hundred."

Grandma shook her flushed face and said: "I can't stay with her forever... You are both good children. Please take care of her; Grandma is grateful to you..."

"You're drunk," I said loudly. "I'll help you back to your room to rest."

Grandma shook off my hand and pointed at me, shouting: "You... find a partner! And do your job well! Otherwise, you're the death of me!"

Immediately after, she collapsed onto the table, crying and cursing me: "You and Xia-Xia were doing well, why did you stop seeing him?"

"Can't you earn money at home! Why do you have to run outside! Running away for years at a time!"

"Don't call me Grandma; if you knew you had a grandmother, you wouldn't be running yourself to death!"

It took a massive effort to drag my drunk grandmother to the bedroom. To avoid further exciting her, I left Harina to take care of her and ran outside to smoke a cigarette.

Yu Shixuan walked over and said: "The old lady is unhappy in her heart; crying it out is a good thing."

"I know, do you think I'd get mad at her?" I said. "It's me who has let her down."

Young people always have all kinds of things to keep them busy.

Meanwhile, the elderly are lonely, and for three hundred and sixty-five days a year, they are worried sick on my behalf.

"Where did you go after work? When I arrived, she was sitting there eating leftovers by herself. It was quite pitiful."

I sighed and said: "Old Feng’s wife came to see me."

"Why did she come to see you?"

"Her heart was bitter, and she didn't know who else to talk to, so she came to me."

It is said that Old Feng was quite handsome in his youth. After he was discharged from the army, he drove for a construction team.

Then, through a twist of fate, he met his wife.

It’s true that he was a classic "phoenix man"—his father-in-law was a mid-level leader at S Construction, and Old Feng was only able to enter the company because of him.

But it wasn't that standard; primarily, his wife was a cold and arrogant person herself, which was why she hadn't married even in her thirties. When she agreed to Old Feng's pursuit, she had made it clear: they were both getting what they needed and were just living together to make ends meet.

"In twenty years of marriage, he never let me wash a single piece of clothing. My foot-soaking water was always poured for me at night, not because he loved me, but because he believed it was an equivalent exchange," she sneered.

This was indeed how Old Feng’s brain worked, but I still awkwardly added a corrective: "How can you be so clear-cut between husband and wife..."

"What kind of husband and wife are we?" she said. "To be precise, in this life of his, he had no wife, no daughter, no friends... only business partners."

Everything Old Feng did was to climb higher.

He didn't have a shred of a life of his own; his marriage, his family, and his emotions were all sacrificed for that one goal.

"He didn't want children, but if I had dragged it out any longer, I wouldn't have been able to give birth. I promised him that the child would be my responsibility alone. Yet, when the child was only three, he left for Africa without looking back."

"He originally had a master, also an old colleague of my father’s. When a project went wrong, he pushed all the blame onto his master, who went to prison and died there. He never felt a second of guilt."

"Do you think he counts as human? He was just a machine climbing upward."

She laughed to herself, then stared at me and muttered: "But one day, he actually ended up liking something. Isn't that strange?"

"We agreed to take our daughter on a trip and then get a divorce. But then he got a phone call and went absolutely insane trying to get off the plane. That was the first time I saw him that agitated."

"I watched him while you were being resuscitated in the hospital room. He sat outside smoking for an entire night, in negative-teens-degree weather—pure self-torture."

"At that time, I truly... didn't want to divorce anymore. Why, though? I had endured most of his lifetime of indifference, stubbornness, and oh, his malice, and then, once he achieved success and fame, he went off to find his 'true love.' So, what does that make me?"

"But later, I realized you never liked him at all."

She said: "Thinking about it, it’s quite pathetic. He sacrificed everything for his career, only for his career to end in total ruin. And the one person he finally managed to love actually hated him.”