On My Way - Chapter 50

Chapter 50 - The Road Cheng Xia Walked With Me

In the next moment, I suddenly whipped out the horsewhip I had been hiding behind my back. Like a divine weapon, it struck him, knocking him to the ground in an instant.

He let out a miserable shriek, rolling on the ground and covered in gasoline.

I struck him again, and again... taking advantage of his inability to resist, I went to grab the water and food.

"Bitch!" He grabbed my ankle, emitting a terrifying roar: "What’s the use of leaving? Ah!"

I lashed out with the whip again.

This was a genuine Mongolian horsewhip, likely made for Chana by his family and kept here, which I had found when he wasn't around.

He was already weak, and this blow left him raw and bleeding, clutching his eyes and screaming incessantly.

I looked down at this demon, who had once seemed so invincible and terrifying, and finally laughed aloud: "Sorry to disappoint you, but I never drank that Coke at all."

Years of reading people had taught me to catch every fleeting detail.

His look of malice and excitement didn't seem like the expression of someone expecting Yu Shixuan to arrive.

Besides, a man like him would never go out of his way to buy me a Coke.

Unless he wanted to distinguish between the Coke and the beer.

So, I had only pretended to drink it while actually pouring it to the side—a sleight of hand honed over years of banquets, no less skillful than a magic trick.

"Die here by yourself. I’m leaving."

I kicked him away and crawled out of the mine tunnel alone.

The Cullinan sat lonely in the night.

Its gas tank was bone-dry, and the reserve fuel had likely been poured away by Chana in his madness.

So how was I supposed to get out? I didn't know the way at all, and this wilderness in the no-man’s-land was truly pitch black.

Despair engulfed me. I pounded the steering wheel with my hands and feet, weeping uncontrollably.

Why! Why did it have to be me who encountered such a lunatic! Why, why!

Just then, I heard a sound from the trunk, like something large and wild.

I stopped crying and shouted sharply: "Who’s there!"

A person poked their head out from the backseat.

"Dongxue—" he called my name.

It was the person I hadn't seen for two years.

The one I had liked for fourteen years.

Cheng Xia.

He lay there, looking wretched, yet smiling like an angel.

I was stunned, unable to make a single movement or expression.

"Why are you here?"

"I rushed over as soon as I heard you were missing. I happened to bump into his car. I didn't have time to tell anyone else, so I snuck into the trunk."

A thousand words stuck in my throat. I wanted to say, Are you stupid? You should have just called the police! What were you thinking, coming here yourself!

I also wanted to say, Where the hell have you been for the past two years? Why didn't you come to see me? Just because we aren't a couple doesn't mean we can't be friends!

I missed you so damn much!

But I didn't say any of it. I threw myself into his arms and sobbed uncontrollably.

"It’s okay, Dongxue." He stroked my hair, comforting me over and over again: "As soon as dawn breaks, we must get out of here."

"Do you remember which way to go?" I asked.

"I don't remember, but this sandy ground will leave tire tracks. We’ll follow the tracks."

"Can we make it just by walking?" I wiped my tears and asked.

"We’ll give it a try. I don’t think we drove for that long. And once we reach a place with a signal, we’ll call the police."

He had his phone with him, which made me feel much more at ease.

"Right, exactly. The lamb leg he gave me was still a bit warm, which means the village nearby isn't as far as I thought." I became excited, grabbed Cheng Xia, and said, "Let’s go!"

The moon hid behind the mountains, and ten thousand rays of light illuminated this desolate land.

This semi-deserted terrain did indeed retain some tracks, but they were intermittent. We zigzagged along them to get out of the mining area.

However, the further we went, the more severe the desertification became, and the tracks vanished.

"It’s okay, we’ll head north," Cheng Xia said. "I’ve checked the map; Uleji Village is north of this mining area."

The grasslands often had northwesterly winds, so we used the areas where the sand piled up to roughly judge the north, though we weren't sure if it was right.

But no matter how long we walked, the scenery remained the same: wilderness, yellow sand, scorching sun, and not a soul in sight.

Occasionally, we would encounter some withered feather grass, a type of extremely drought-resistant grass. Harina had told me that after it turned brown in autumn, the cattle and sheep loved to eat it.

We wandered around the area for a long time, hoping to see herdsmen.

But there were none.

"We can’t wait any longer," Cheng Xia said. "It will be dangerous after nightfall. We must find a village during the day."

He remained as gentle and attentive as ever. Just like before, as long as I was by his side, all my restlessness and pain would subside.

I walked, step by step.

My soles were burning, my throat was dry and hoarse, and my eyes couldn't stay open against the sudden sandstorms.

"What if we can’t make it out?" I asked Cheng Xia.

"We will," he said.

"What if?"

His gaze was clear. He squeezed my hand and said, "Don’t be afraid. We’re together."

Countless surges of courage rose in my heart. I felt like that eighteen-year-old girl again, running recklessly toward him.

I was afraid of nothing.

The sun set, the temperature dropped, and the most dangerous time—the night—was slowly approaching.

We had already finished one bottle of water and one bag of potato chips.

But we were still hungry and thirsty. My throat was hurting so much I couldn't speak, and the path ahead was plunged into total darkness.

Just then, Cheng Xia looked up and said to me, "Dongxue, look."

I tilted my head. Without the interference of artificial light, the starry sky was vast and spectacularly beautiful.

"It’s like the first night I came to the grassland," I murmured. "I had a fever and saw the stars turning into bicycles flying toward me... I stayed up all night writing proposals, but my heart was at peace because you were by my side."

"I’m by your side now, too."

He held me and said, "Dongxue, do you see the North Star? The direction we’re walking is correct."

"Yeah."

We continued walking through the darkness, hand in hand. The dark wilderness didn't seem so terrifying anymore.

I don't know how long we walked before I suddenly felt the sound of breathing behind me, and the light, light footsteps of a beast...

"What’s wrong?" Cheng Xia asked.

I gripped his hand tighter and said, "Don’t look back."

Harina had told me that wolves would stalk a night traveler, and the moment they looked back, the wolf would tear out their throat.

I gripped the horsewhip in my hand; it was my only weapon for self-defense.

"Cheng Xia," I had to use my dry, hoarse throat to say something, to distract myself.

"Hmm?"

"You must hate me," I said. "I’ve always treated you like a tool—a tool to watch, a tool to keep moving forward. You were right; I didn't actually love you. I loved my own obsession."

Cheng Xia murmured "Hmm" as he walked behind me.

I forced myself to walk side-by-side with him again: "If you hadn't been sick, I could have pestered you without any burden, but you just had to get sick, and I couldn't give you what you wanted."

He said softly, "I understand. You left me for my own good."

"You don’t understand," I said. "People like me don't actually know how to love. I just want to survive... but sometimes, that’s not enough..."

Like right now, my feet were swollen beyond recognition. Exhaustion, collapse, despair—my will to live was slowly crumbling.

Cheng Xia pulled me into his arms and said, "I understand. It’s like that quote from Wang Xiaobo: 'Living one life is not enough; one should also possess a poetic world.'"

"Right."

"Don’t think about what’s behind you, and don’t think about how long the road ahead is.

Think about the sea in S City, how beautiful the spray is under the sunlight.

Think about our Uleji Village, the domes and white walls, the ruddy smiles on the elders' faces.

Think about our wedding, our honeymoon to Japan to see the fireworks festival. Our kids will learn English from a young age—right, why learn English from a young age anyway?"

I laughed: "Because I thought that was very sophisticated."

There were so many, many more days.

I had to keep walking until I couldn't walk anymore.

Walk, walk, walk until the night is gone, the wolves hide away, and the sun illuminates the earth once more.

The noon sun scorched every inch of my skin. I fell to the ground, only to crawl up again with great difficulty.

"Dongxue!"

A sound like the tolling of a bell, accompanied by the blaring of police sirens.

I lifted my eyes and saw Bater running toward me like a madman, with police officers following behind.

"The patient has rapid breathing and low blood oxygen levels. Resuscitate immediately."

I lay flat on the stretcher, gasping for air. Countless hands were busy working on me.

I pointed behind me: "Cheng Xia..."

"It’s just you, alone!" Bater said.

In the desert grassland, there was no one—only the wind howling.

Right. He was studying abroad, how could he have run to the grassland, and how could he have coincidentally ended up in Chana’s car?

The one who had walked through the darkness with me had only ever been myself.