On My Way - Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - In That Case, I’ll Have Three, You Can Drink at Your Leisure

I resigned as soon as I returned.

The pay at the electronics factory wasn't high, but the work was simple and included room and board. Six of us girls would huddle in the dorm, gossiping and cooking hot pot; life was quite happy.

My sisters were very reluctant to see me go, asking if I was being foolish. "Isn't it pretty good here? Why quit without having another job lined up?"

"I have to go earn money!" I said.

What a wonderful thing it is to have money. Before, I thought that as long as I could afford to support my grandmother and myself, that was enough.

As for the luxury cars and villas on TV, those were other people's lives; I felt nothing for them.

But Cheng Xia and his family—driving out for excursions, staying in mountain-view rooms that cost eight hundred a night, the children and puppies jumping about—had ignited an endless ambition and desire within me.

I wanted to have money; I wanted a life that was clean and bright like that.

And at the electronics factory, a monthly salary of less than two thousand was just barely enough to keep my grandmother and me fed.

There was no room for promotion; at forty, I would still be earning this same amount.

Unless I could truly burn my bridges and raise my educational credentials, but work drained eighty percent of my time, and I couldn't save enough money to study full-time.

It was a vicious cycle.

I had to find a job with a higher salary to escape this cycle.

Even if it meant more hardship and fatigue, I wanted to fight for a future, a possibility, for myself.

When I left, Zhong Ping saw me off. She said, "Little sister, you’re going to suffer a lot in the future... but I truly envy you."

I only had a diploma from an adult self-study exam, making it hard to find a high-paying job with room for promotion. Cheng Xia spent an entire afternoon scanning job sites and selected a few positions.

"You could look at sales roles, like a beauty counter clerk—the base salary is low but there’s commission. Being a receptionist at a big company is also an option... Actually, you could also try being a Taobao model; it's considered an emerging industry, though I’m not sure how reliable it is..."

I looked down at the positions he had highlighted and said, "I still want to get into a construction company."

"That's very difficult. Large companies usually have educational requirements, and you’d definitely have to go to construction sites. You’re a girl..."

"I want to try," I said.

That was an era when real estate had yet to decline; construction units were bustling with activity everywhere. Although I had studied civil engineering only because I was too dim-witted to distinguish it from architecture, at that time, it was a very popular major.

But sending out my resume did not go smoothly.

The interviewers would either flip through my resume and mutter, "Oh, self-study? I thought you were a university graduate. What a waste of time."

Or they would look at me with a wry smile, "A girl as pretty as you wants to work on a construction site? What are you thinking?"

I’d grin and say, "It’s fine, I hear that after two months on a site, no matter how pretty you are, you’ll turn into a man."

They would laugh heartily.

Yet, there was never any follow-up.

Meanwhile, Cheng Xia had been recommended for postgraduate studies and was preparing his thesis.

I traveled alone through those cold office buildings, my smile frozen on my face.

This was the first time I felt, point-blank, my insignificance in this society. I lacked this certificate, and I didn't have that one either. The interviewers looked at me with a smile, as if watching a child playing pretend.

A child who had nothing, yet wanted to climb a tall tree to pluck the moon.

On what grounds?

The interviews didn't go well, the little money I had was almost gone, and my grandmother’s living expenses for the next month were still unaccounted for. My father kept calling, asking how much I could contribute to my younger brother's tuition.

My final interview was in a very dilapidated office building, yet it was a bona fide subsidiary of a central state-owned enterprise.

It was a Friday, and a torrential rain had been falling since midnight. I lost my footing and took a spill, getting covered in mud.

There was still some time before the interview, so I went to the restroom, took off my clothes to wash them, and then borrowed a hairdryer from a nearby hotel. I put the clothes inside a plastic bag and blew air into the opening.

This made them dry faster. Back in school, I didn't have many clothes to change into, and this was how I’d always done it.

Although they weren't completely dry, damp was better than dirty.

The person interviewing me was a middle-aged executive. After asking a few professional questions, he suddenly made an aside: "I saw you when I walked in just now. Are you a germaphobe?"

I paused, realizing he was probably referring to my clothes-drying method.

"Not exactly," I said. "I just want to look a bit cleaner."

He said, "If you're obsessed with being clean, you can't do this job."

I was stunned; I hadn't prepared for this question at all, and the atmosphere became awkward.

He lowered his head to drink water, waving his hand to signal that I could leave.

I stood up, feeling utterly desperate, yet wanting to make one final struggle.

"Sir, regarding this matter, it might not be quite what you think. My grandmother makes a living by picking up recyclables. You see, if a girl from a wealthy family has dirty clothes, no one thinks anything of it. But for me, people immediately jump to, 'Ah, her family picks up trash.' So, maintaining a decent appearance outside has become a habit."

I took a deep breath. "If you think my education or other aspects aren't good enough, that's normal. But I really grew up at the very bottom; I’ve seen all the dirtiest and hardest work. I just don't want you to have a misunderstanding about me."

He looked up at me and said, "I see. Go back and wait for the notification."

The downpour continued for days. On the day the sky cleared after the rain, I went to find Cheng Xia.

He ran over from the dormitory in a rush, his hair ruffled by the sea breeze, revealing his clean, fair forehead.

"How did it go?" He looked at my expression cautiously. "Just take your time looking. Even my classmates from 985 universities are still drifting around!"

I didn't say a word. He added, "Don't worry about money, you have me. If it really doesn't work out, just study for the postgraduate exam; you’ve already quit your job anyway."

I said, "I got into S Construction."

He froze for a moment, then his eyes sparkled. "Ren Dongxue, I knew it! There’s nothing you can’t achieve if you set your mind to it!"

"Let's go! I’m treating you to a good meal."

"Then I’m going to bleed you dry."

We ran and laughed all the way; the sunlight reflected off the puddles, creating a kaleidoscope of colors.

That was the happiest period of my life.

I became a document clerk at S Construction. My intern salary was three thousand, and five thousand after becoming a full-time employee. Most of those who joined with me were undergraduates, some even from S University.

I had finally approached Cheng Xia's world—something I hadn't dared to even dream of before.

Compared to this, the dust of the construction site, the exhaustion of working continuous night shifts, and the bitterness of being scolded by the veteran foremen were nothing at all.

The man who interviewed me was a company vice president, whom we secretly called Old Feng. He was in his early forties; word was he’d lost an internal power struggle at headquarters and was transferred here. His personality was very gloomy, and he seemed like a square peg in a round hole.

We were the batch he personally recruited, but after getting to the construction site, several resigned, and the rest were filled with resentment. I was the one he found easiest to work with, and he treated me quite well, finding master foremen to take me under their wing and teach me hands-on.

A document clerk seems like a gopher role, but it involves many thorny issues. You have to know how to read blueprints, remember requirements for construction materials, steel reinforcement, concrete strength, and calculate basic data... and my brain was a blank slate on all of it.

But one is forced into competence. I was busy until my feet were hitting the back of my head while learning these things. Strangely, I didn't feel bitter. This sensation of gorging on new knowledge made me feel incredibly at ease.

S Construction had another advantage: it was very close to Cheng Xia’s school. When I wasn't at the construction site, I still went to find him. He would explain architectural concepts to me, and I would tell him about my experiences on the site. We were finally able to chatter on for ten hours at a time.

We passed through the difficult adjustment period of my new job, followed by his internship and graduation. The moment I stood next to him in his graduation gown, both of us flashing peace signs at the camera, I felt an absurd sense of self-satisfaction.

We had passed through the transition from youth to adulthood together. So what if I wasn't his girlfriend?

I was already very, very close to him.

When winter arrived, we ushered in the project’s final stages and our first group team-building event.

Old Feng had drunk two rounds with the top brass and was already tipsy, yet the toasts kept coming. He glanced toward our section. Our department reported directly to him, and most were still very "student-ish," stuck in the stage of boys posturing and girls being anxious. I was the only one who locked eyes with him for a few seconds, then rose, grabbed a drink, and walked to his side.

"Director Feng, I haven't been with the company long, but today I’d like to borrow your presence to have a few more drinks with everyone. Do you approve?"

Old Feng smiled and introduced me to the person he was toasting: "This is Ren Dongxue from our department. Come, let’s have one together."

I quickly shook hands with the person. "Hello, Engineer Zhang. Just call me Little Ren. It’s such an honor to meet you. In that case, I’ll have three, and you and Director Feng can drink at your leisure."

I tilted my head back and finished three glasses. A leader at another table who had also had too much to drink sighed, "Why don't I have a kid as sensible as this in my department? Director Feng, she’s like you were when you were young."

Old Feng smiled without a word. After I finished my round, he asked, "How are you doing?"

"I’m fine. I’ve practiced this alcohol tolerance since I was a kid."

"You still need to rest. Go eat some food."

"Alright, call me if you need anything."

I returned to my table. The girl sitting next to me looked at me with a subtle expression—there was disdain, but also jealousy.

I felt it didn't matter. Socializing is the simplest thing—all it takes is dropping your pride. They didn't do it because they felt it wasn't necessary to navigate an old man for such a small job. I did it because I felt it was necessary.

I went to the restroom and threw up, and while I was there, I scrolled through my social media feed. I happened to see photos Cheng Xia had posted.

It was likely a gathering with his academic peers. He had posted a few photos from the restaurant; in one, he was holding the camera, and the girl closest to him was smiling like a flower.