On My Way - Chapter 45

Chapter 45 - I Have Never Known What It Means to Just Coast

Chana’s villa was a building over a decade old, its insulation was a total disaster, and it was drafty from every side.

Yu Shixuan lay inside, with the air conditioner running twenty-four hours a day. Her complexion remained pale, without a hint of color.

I asked, "What do you plan to do?"

"At the very least, I have to wait for Chana’s verdict," she whispered. "I don’t even know if he’ll be sentenced to death..."

He faced a laundry list of charges—smuggling, intentional homicide, illegal possession of firearms, and so on. It wasn’t likely to have a happy ending.

"Don’t you plan to go home?"

She gave a bitter laugh. "Where do I have a home? My father has disowned me, and my mother has deleted me from WeChat. Should I go back to being an architectural assistant? The circle is very small..."

We both fell silent. After a while, Yu Shixuan said, "Hand me my computer."

"You’re not going to work, are you? Just focus on recovering your health first!"

She shook her head. "There’s no time. I have to finish the final phase of the villa complex renovation plan."

I was shocked beyond measure. "You’re still going to continue with this?"

She nodded, her slender fingers tucking her hair behind her ears as she bowed her head to look at the screen.

At this moment, she looked a bit like that girl who used to work at the Red House Architecture Institute.

I was at a loss for words and said diplomatically, "Is this for your agreement with Chana? It’s really not necessary..."

"It’s for myself," she said softly. "I never had the chance to work as a lead designer. This project will be my masterpiece as an architect."

I looked at her, stunned. After a long pause, I finally said, "But the money required for the project may be even more than you imagine."

Yu Shixuan’s design style was very different from Cheng Xia’s; it was incredibly vintage and dreamlike. This meant that everything from raw materials to the contractors had to meet high standards for her blueprints to be truly realized.

In other words, it was a massive money pit.

"It doesn't matter," she said. "The initial payments have been settled. Chana left quite a few properties and savings in my name. If I pool them together, it should be enough to cover the remaining costs."

She looked up gently and said quietly, "Now, I need an excellent estimator."

I stared at her for a long time before saying, "I am the best estimator there is."

Many things cannot be said openly, such as the fact that Chana’s involvement in so many illegal businesses made his downfall only a matter of time.

But the problem was, if she hadn’t sent me that WeChat message, their lives would still be perfectly fine.

It was she who saved my life, at the cost of ruining her own. I had no choice but to help her.

During that period, I went to work during the day and stayed at her place at night. While taking care of her, I worked on the budget—which, in reality, was a project manager’s job, just on a smaller scale.

Most of Chana’s assets had been seized, and she had poured all her own money into it as well, but we were still stretching pennies. We drove the cement trucks ourselves, did the plumbing and electrical work ourselves, painted walls, and filled in grout lines.

The sheer exhaustion forced me to chew on instant coffee powder during the day just to keep my spirit together.

But this was fine. I didn’t have to think about Cheng Xia, and I didn’t have to think about... my own job.

Without Chana’s interference, our work entered a stable phase, and we could progress steadily according to plan.

However, it was then that the company sent over a senior engineer, Engineer Zhou, to serve as the deputy project manager and assist Old Feng.

He held a higher position and had more seniority than I did, and he easily pushed me aside.

Yes, I had risked my life, I had suffered the losses, and when I had nearly lost my life for this project, I was stripped of my role.

The reason given was even ready-made: "You are injured and need to rest."

By all rights, I should have started a massive row, but I only felt a sense of absurdity.

I had worked with reckless abandonment, giving up everything I could possibly give up, only to be easily erased in the end—is this what my career amounted to?

I didn't argue. I didn't even go to find Old Feng. I simply completed every trivial task by the book.

Then, I resumed my habit of running and listening to online courses. I figured that if a chance ever arose, I would try for a full-time master’s degree, and Yu Shixuan would be the perfect mentor.

When she took the college entrance exam, she only lost three points in English—scoring higher than Cheng Xia.

She just didn’t have his temperament. When she heard that someone who had spent six years abroad like me still couldn't grasp relative clauses, she threw the test paper right at my head: "Even a middle-schooler knows this! Why are you trying for a master's degree?!"

"I didn't listen to classes in middle school!" I sighed deeply.

"What were you doing?"

"Falling in love."

Yu Shixuan rolled her eyes. It was too humiliating; to think I had been reduced to having a "love-sick fool" roll her eyes at me!

As the days passed slowly, my job essentially became being Engineer Zhou’s assistant, helping him run menial errands.

Once it became clear that I no longer held any real authority, everyone’s attitude toward me began a subtle shift.

For instance, the workers went from treating me with respect to constantly making crude, off-color jokes with a smirk.

Old Feng saw all of this, and he never once intervened.

Only the elders of Uleji didn't understand these things; they still treated me like their own granddaughter, always trying to shove food and drink into my hands whenever they saw me.

Harina still brought me meals every day, but when she found out I was running over to Yu Shixuan’s house every day, her face grew longer than that of her little white horse.

"Don’t eat our family's sparerib soup next time. Go eat at the ‘Beauty Snake’s’ house."

"The Beauty Snake doesn't have your skills. I still have to go back and cook for myself every day."

Harina was even angrier. She slapped the lunchbox shut: "Then you’re a spineless fool, and I don't give food to spineless fools!"

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, coaxing her: "Are you really angry? What’s there to be angry about... She saved my life; isn't it only right for me to help her out?"

"I’m so mad! They’re all behind your back saying you’re doing side jobs! I’m so mad!" She repeated "so mad" several times in her imperfect Mandarin.

I paused. This was the first time I had heard of this.

Our company strictly forbade employees from taking private side jobs. The punishment ranged from pay cuts to termination—it was a very serious accusation.

"Whatever. If they really want to make an issue of it, they can check my accounts. I haven't taken a single cent."

Hearing this, Harina grew even angrier: "Why aren't you taking money?!"

"For one, if I took money, the nature of it would change," I said. "For another, I consider us friends."

"What’s so good about her? Can she summon gods?"

"She’s very smart. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I always feel she’ll achieve great things in the future."

The feeling was subtle.

She was very delicate. At first, I had looked down on girls like that; I always felt that to climb upward, one had to live more like a man than men did.

But she was always good at utilizing her feminine charm, making people’s hearts soft and making them want to take care of her.

At the same time, when she hit a wall, she would cry until she was heartbroken, but that never stopped her from being decisive and making the most correct decisions.

For example, the abortion.

And for example, how she carried such immense pressure just to finish renovating this villa complex.

"In architecture, you rely on your reputation and experience. To be honest, her design style isn't what clients usually prefer. If she stays in the provincial institute and keeps grinding, it will be hard to stand out," I said. "But if she can have an independent work, plus one or two significant awards, it’s a different story."

This was likely something she had already planned from the very beginning, even when she and Chana had first started dating.

Harina didn't understand, blinking her big eyes at me: "Then what does that have to do with you?"

"If you work in construction, you have to build good relationships with people in all aspects," I said. "Otherwise, what are you supposed to do later?"

She still didn't understand, simply opening the soup container to let me drink it.

After a while, she asked again: "Then am I your sister, or is she your sister?"

Because of her Mandarin, there was a cute awkwardness to her speech.

I was amused and said, "Of course it’s you!"

"Who are you closer to!" she continued to ask, her neck stiff with defiance.

I sighed and tapped her head: "Why do you think I’m working so hard to make money? After this project is done, I have to take you to S City and send you to school. Did you forget?"

She became happy, pursing her lips and saying softly, "I can go work."

"Go to school," I repeated. "Now, immediately, go study."

She left, her figure light as a little butterfly.

In truth, I hadn’t really figured out what I would have her study. Her academic foundation was worse than mine—I suspect she hadn't studied properly since middle school. She was, however, quite interested in English, so I bought her online courses and told her to start learning, with the goal of eventually earning an adult education degree.

She didn't actually care what she learned; to her, being able to leave, to go to a big city, was enough to make her excited.

—

Old Feng wasn't as easy to coax as Harina—or rather, he had been waiting a long time for the chance to scream at me.

That evening, he called me into his office and asked, "I heard you haven't been staying in the dorm lately. Is that true?"

"A friend of mine is in poor health, so I went to take care of her."

He said, "You’ve been working for several years now; do I still need to teach you?! Devote yourself entirely to your work, and don’t give anyone a reason to gossip!"

"Yes, I will move back later."

"What do you think you are?!" He suddenly exploded. "You’re just a piece of waste! And you even think about transferring to headquarters? Don’t go and make a fool of yourself!"

I didn't speak, just lowered my head and took the scolding.

"Don’t let me see you slacking off again! Otherwise, just get out. This is no place for you to just coast!"

He yelled at me for a full hour. I suddenly felt exhausted—a exhaustion that reached deep into my soul, stripping away all my self-control.

Forget it. Just let it all collapse; let the whole world collapse.

"I haven't delayed my work for a single day. I haven't been late, and I haven't left early," I said. "I have never known what it means to 'coast' through life."

This was the first time I had ever talked back to Old Feng. He looked at me in astonishment, and it was a long time before he sneered: "Ren Dongxue, are you holding a grudge against me?"

I really didn't have any grudge; I just felt incredibly tired.

"In the end, you’re just resentful that Engineer Zhou took over, right?" he pounded the table. "I’ve given you opportunities more than once, but which one did you ever finish well? And you still have the nerve to blame others here!"

"You getting divorced is your own business, too," I said. "Aren’t you blaming me for that as well?”