On My Way - Chapter 12

Chapter 12 - The Fire Within

When I returned to the construction site, it was brightly lit, and everyone was waiting for me in the office.

I wiped my face, trying my best to project an expression of calm and composure.

The supervisor walked up to me, beaming with joy: "Manager Ren! Experts from the Provincial Architectural Institute have arrived, and they said they want to discuss the blueprint revisions with us!"

"Weren't they supposed to come tomorrow morning?"

Just then, I saw him. He was standing under a pool of warm, yellowish light, his head tilted as he spoke with Engineer Li.

He heard me and turned back, stretching out his hand toward me with a smile: "Hello, Manager Ren. My name is Cheng Xia; I am an architect from the Provincial Architectural Institute."

The orange light was behind him, making him glow all over, his smile as warm as a campfire.

Our blueprints were created by Engineer Yu, who was elderly; we had begged him to come, but he could only manage a meeting tomorrow. Under normal circumstances, Cheng Xia, who was on his team, would also have come tomorrow.

But he had come early.

That night, Cheng Xia stayed with us, holding meetings until dawn to discuss several versions of the revision plan.

He said: "Although we still need the official meeting tomorrow to discuss this, it currently seems there is a way to modify the blueprints based on what has already been built. We will issue a design change notice at that time. Everyone doesn't need to panic."

In other words, if things went smoothly, we would only need to extend the construction period; we wouldn't have to tear everything down and start over.

Although he didn't commit himself fully, I felt the tight string in the air loosen significantly.

I said: "Alright, let's stop here for today. Everyone go back and get some rest, and prepare for the official meeting with the Provincial Architectural Institute tomorrow."

Everyone left one by one, and Cheng Xia bid me farewell too: "Well, Manager Ren, I'll be heading back now."

"Thank you so much for your hard work today. I don't even know what to say. Please drive carefully."

"It's all part of the job," he said, and drove away.

After I saw everyone off, I waited outside alone. Soon, I saw that white Volvo circle back. Cheng Xia rolled down the window, raised an eyebrow at me, and said: "Ren Dongxue, how are you going to thank me this time?"

"I'm really tired today. Let me treat you to a good meal another day," I said.

"No, you always say 'another day.' Let's do it today."

It was rare for him to be so assertive, as if the high-spirited Cheng Xia from our college days had returned.

I hadn't eaten or slept for a whole day, yet I felt a neurotic sense of excitement. I wasn't sleepy or tired.

Cheng Xia, however, kept yawning, forcing himself to stay focused while scanning the surroundings for late-night snacks.

In the end, we couldn't find anything suitable, so I asked: "How about... we go to your place and order takeout?"

"Huh?"

Cheng Xia hesitated for a moment, then said: "Okay."

Since we reunited, he had often visited my home far out in the suburbs, but this was my first time at his place.

He rented a high-rise apartment in the city center. It wasn't large, but it overlooked the city's night view and the azure sea.

It was what a 'white moonlight's' home should look like: clean, simple, with only the most basic furniture, as if it had just been renovated.

"You go take a shower first, I'll order the takeout," he said.

"Okay."

In the warm, yellow glow of the bathroom heater, the hot water poured down like a heavy rain.

I stood in this rain, feeling my nerves still twitching wildly. Countless messy data points, broken steel bars from the construction site, the documents Old Feng had thrown at my face, the contemptuous sneers, and the foul language flashed through my mind, eventually dissolving into chaotic light and shadow.

"Do you eat crawfish? Hey! They have spicy hot pot," Cheng Xia said, leaning against the doorway to talk to me. The light cast his slender shadow onto the door.

I suddenly threw the door open.

I was soaking wet, completely naked. Cheng Xia was still wearing that white shirt, watching me in astonishment.

I kissed his lips, almost fiercely.

This was Cheng Xia's scent: cold, like mint, and his tongue was very soft.

Cheng Xia was pushed against the wall by me, completely defenseless: "Ren Dongxue, what are you doing?"

I didn't know what I was doing either; I just knew I wanted to vent like a madwoman. "I want to have sex."

I panted, tearing at his shirt with force. Amidst the struggle, we both tumbled to the floor, and I immediately flipped over to sit on top of him.

He gasped, his face flushed with a faint red hue: "Do you know what you are doing?"

"I don't need you to take responsibility," I said, and then fiercely kissed his lips again.

Because I used too much force, I tasted blood between our teeth.

The next second, I felt the world spin, and he scooped me up in his arms.

I was thrown onto the bed.

The bedroom was very dark. I could only feel the softness of the bed and the scent of dried lavender.

He leaned over me, gazing at me. His clean eyes were flickering with something indescribable.

"I've dreamt of this scenario," he said while untying his tie. "When I was sixteen."

That white shirt finally fell to the floor.

He leaned down, like the moon sinking into the water's surface, stirring up a pool of shattered silver.

The blood in my body was boiling. The sound of African drums rang in my ears—the music played when the tribe was hunting. It was as if I could see the African sky, with lonely drifting clouds sliding from east to west.

Lions were hunting, leopards were leaping, and a startled herd of wild buffalo was running toward the wet water source.

I tried to suppress the uncontrollable joy within my body and murmured: "Cheng Xia, from now on, we are even..."

Cheng Xia stopped. He asked: "What do you mean by that?"

The room was pitch black, with only the moonlight shining in unobstructed through the window.

I lay on the bed and said: "Exactly what I said. You helped me today, I thank you, but don't come looking for me again."

"Are you blaming me?" Cheng Xia stared at me, blankly, as if looking at a monster: "Ren Dongxue, I had a fever all day. When I heard there was an accident at your construction site, I rushed over immediately. I wanted to help you. Am I wrong?"

"Of course," I said, propping myself up to look at him: "You are wrong because I don't need help from any of you!"

The brutal emotion subsided, and I had no strength left. My voice was calm: "Old Feng helps me because he is waiting for the day he can sleep with me. You help me because you want to use these small favors to keep me devoted to you. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it; you've already done it."

The room fell into a deathly silence.

Everything in the world has a price. Things I cannot afford, I do not want.

This is the only bit of pride I have left after living until now.

I would rather die holding onto this pride than live a humble life.

As the heat in my body faded, I went to the bathroom to wash my face, then dressed myself. Before I left, Cheng Xia asked: "Ren Dongxue, do you still like me?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I said: "Architect Cheng, as for future work, come whenever you need to. Do not send WeChat messages, do not ask me out to eat, do not come to my house. Let's just pretend we never knew each other."

After speaking, I opened the door and walked into the darkness of the early morning.

I went back to the office and had a very long sleep.

I finally recovered from that drug-like, high-pitched, and painful state of emotion.

I was not yet thirty. Even if this project collapsed, there would be another one. Why act like I wanted to die?

As for Cheng Xia...

Yesterday, I attempted a forceful sexual encounter, regretted it halfway through, and went crazy like a lunatic at his place... That must have all been a dream. It must have been a dream!

Just as I was brushing my teeth and trying hard to convince myself, the supervisor started pounding on the door: "Manager Ren, why are you still sleeping! The teachers from the Provincial Architectural Institute are here."

Everyone at the construction site was welcoming them as if they were deities descending to earth, lining the path to greet them.

I rushed to the front, competing to be the biggest sycophant: "Teacher Yu! Why did you come yourself? We were planning to send a car to pick you up!"

Engineer Yu snorted coldly: "Manager Ren is really not an ordinary person! To think you could still sleep soundly after such a huge incident! Oh, I see, is it because you think someone is here to clean up your mess?"

I quickly tried to get on his good side: "I just love listening to Teacher Yu talk. Hearing that Northeast accent makes me feel like I'm seeing my own father; I feel so close to you!"

Cheng Xia followed behind Teacher Yu, looking at me with a perfectly normal expression.

...Yesterday, I was acting all pure and noble, saying I didn't owe anyone anything, and today I'm fighting to be the construction site's top bootlicker.

...No, everything from yesterday was a dream, it must have been a dream.

There were three people in Teacher Yu's group: Cheng Xia, Yan Lei, and the 'Jelly' girl, Yu Shixuan.

"I am getting on in years; I expect these young people will be the ones handling things with you in the future," Teacher Yu instructed.

"That's fantastic! A great teacher produces great students. One look at these young teachers and you can tell they are elite talents. Our project is definitely saved." I enthusiastically shook hands with them one by one. Cheng Xia also responded with a smile, his fingertips ice-cold.

As soon as we entered the site, Yan Lei spoke up: "Teacher, I came to the site early yesterday to learn about the situation, and it is like this..."

Hmm?

Wasn't it just Cheng Xia who came yesterday?

Teacher Yu smiled approvingly: "Young people need to be diligent. If you just wait for me to do the work, then your life is finished."

Cheng Xia followed behind, his expression not changing in the slightest.

The meeting lasted all day. I didn't understand the technical matters at all, but I still forced myself to listen to everything.

This kind of thing must absolutely not happen a second time in my professional career.

The final conclusion was about the same as what Cheng Xia had determined yesterday.

They would take a week to come up with a design revision, maintaining the existing construction and the original blueprint design to the greatest extent possible.