On My Way - Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Hey, Auntie, Selling You This Shirt at Cost

The first time I saw him, I was helping my mother mind our stall—a clothing stand in a farmers market. We had a whole iron rack draped with cheap, brightly colored clothes that had to be maneuvered on and off with metal hooks.

His mother was buying meat at the stall next door. Seeing me doing my homework, she smiled and said, "This child looks like she’s good at her studies. Which school do you go to?"

"The Second Vocational High School," I looked up and said with a grin, "Auntie, would you like to take a look at these shirts? They’re all imported from Guangdong."

His mother offered a few polite, awkward pleasantries and went back to picking out meat. That one glance, however, allowed me to see him. He was wearing the uniform of the First High School; his hair was dark and neatly kept, and he had a scholarly, refined air about him as he stood behind his mother, carrying the groceries.

He was quite handsome—that was my first impression. But I didn't know how many high school students passed by there every day; only he made me feel that he was exceptionally clean, so clean that he seemed completely out of place in this farmers market.

I lowered my head to continue my homework, but for some reason, I couldn't focus at all. I simply dropped my pen and stood up. He had already reached the entrance of the market. His mother was walking fast, chatting with someone ahead, while he stood at the entrance, waiting patiently.

That scene had a desolate beauty to it, as if it were a premonition of how we would end.

I chased after him and said, "Hey, yes, I'm talking to you. Do you go to the First High School?"

He pointed to himself, asking in confusion, "Me?"

"Can you give me your QQ? I'd really like to get to know you," I said.

Truth be told, my high school entrance exam scores were decent, but not high enough for top-tier schools like the First or Second High. I could only get into a very ordinary high school.

But my parents had divorced, and I was living with my grandmother. I thought about making money as early as possible, so I chose vocational high school and studied electronics.

Once I entered the school, I started to regret it. No one in the school studied, and the teachers lectured with no spirit.

The boys were busy playing games and dating, while most of the girls wore cute, thick bangs, discussing in high-pitched voices whether Dong Bang Shin Ki or Super Junior was cuter.

It wasn’t that I absolutely had to study; it was just that I felt bored with that kind of life. After finishing my homework, I would read novels like That Guy Is Cool or Long Riyi, You're Dead.

I’d scan through them in a glance, throw them aside, and still feel bored.

Meeting Cheng Xia was the only interesting thing that happened in my three years at vocational high school.

Back then, it was popular to find a boyfriend from the First or Second High. As the saying goes, you seek what you lack. The girls in my class and I would often wear borrowed uniforms to sneak into the First High School.

They went to dote on their boyfriends, while I waited for Cheng Xia to finish school.

"Yo, Cheng Xia, your woman is here!"

As soon as his buddies saw me, they would tease him and push him into me. He was genuinely annoyed and shouted, "Wang Qiang, are you looking for a beating?"

At that time, he wore a buzz cut and was a proper, decent little boy. When he got angry, his whole face would turn red.

"Xia-ge is shy!" "Run!"

His buddies scrambled away as if fleeing a disaster, leaving just him and me standing there. He lowered his head to avoid my eyes, muttering unwillingly, "Ren Dongxue, can you stop coming to find me all the time?"

"Why?"

He thought for a long time before squeezing out, "It affects my studying!"

I laughed until I was doubled over, acting like a little delinquent, and said, "Fine, if you agree to go out with me, I won't come anymore."

He blushed crimson again.

Yeah, right. If he had agreed, I would have had to act like those other girls and come to find my boyfriend every day.

When we reached a fork in the road, he suddenly said very solemnly, "Ren Dongxue, I’m going to S University to study architecture."

It was a university I had never heard of. I was stunned for a moment before I realized that this was an elaboration of his earlier "I have to study hard."

"Please, I want to date you, not marry you," I snorted with a laugh, thinking to myself that kids at the First High were so naive.

He continued, "The minimum admission score for S University is 649, which requires being in the top 5% of the province. I'm currently in the top 25%. I must ensure five hours of study time outside of class. Every single minute is something I cannot afford to waste."

I didn't understand, so I stared at him blankly.

"Ren Dongxue, I want to become an architect, like Le Corbusier."

In the sunset, his face was red, as if he had said something unspeakable, yet he never averted his gaze from mine.

I remembered that scene for many, many years.

In truth, I had met many students from the First High. Most of them were terrible at basketball, looked dull, and would sneak glances at pretty girls. I had never felt there was any difference between them and us.

Only Cheng Xia was different.

He was a person who, at sixteen, already knew what he wanted. He didn't work hard for "employment" or "money," but for a dream.

How silly...

But I really liked him.

When I came back to my senses, Cheng Xia had already walked far away. I hurried to catch up:

"Cheng Xia, who is that Xiye guy?"

"Do you want to go to the library tomorrow? I promise I won't bother you."

In those years, I just followed him around like that.

I didn't even know where I got so much inexhaustible passion and love.

Later, I graduated from vocational high school.

At that time, my father found me a local job—plugging in wires at an electronics factory. It provided room and board, and the pay was 1,500 a month, which wasn't bad.

I refused. I said I wanted to go to S City—a coastal city in the south, very far away from us.

"Don't I want to go south to earn more money? Little Wei is growing bigger by the day, and there are many places where we need money. Can I really let you go out and work at your age?" One of my greatest talents was knowing how to coax people.

Little Wei was my younger brother, born after my father remarried; he was ten years younger than me.

My father was truly touched when he heard this and gave me 3,000 yuan. Then, I took the train to the south.

In reality, I had lied. I had no intention of looking after that little brat.

I went south because Cheng Xia was there.

He had successfully been admitted to S University.

When I arrived, they had just finished their military training, and everyone was straggling back.

I wore a white dress. In that engineering school where the ratio of men to women was 7:1, my head-turning rate was one hundred percent.

A group of boys, looking like they had been dug out of the dirt, were walking over in their training uniforms, and I spotted him at a glance.

"Cheng Xia!"

No matter when, he was always so clean, as fresh and clear as a cloud.

He was very surprised: "Ren Dongxue, why are you here?"

To him, I had disappeared for an entire summer vacation.

"I came to wish you a happy birthday! I’m working at Ruijian Technology now, five stops away from you." I stood up, smiling, and handed him my gift: "Cheng Xia, happy birthday."

I had rushed and hurried to finally find a job in this city.

I had rushed and hurried to finally arrive on his birthday.

"So this is the sister-in-law! You brat, you really hide your talents!"

The classmates around him began to tease him suggestively. He turned his head and cursed with a laugh, took the gift, and said, "Why didn't you say something before coming? You must have waited a long time, right?"

"It's alright."

Four hours—it wasn't too long.

"Come on, let me take you out to eat."

He took me to the cafeteria. After a summer apart, he had grown tall like a bamboo shoot after a spring rain.

He was thinner, his features were more refined, he was wearing his hair longer, and he spoke about university life with such radiance.

He didn't look like that shy, soft-hearted, and awkward nerd from my memories anymore.

This time, I was the one listening quietly, because I truly couldn't get a word in.

After the meal, he walked me to the subway station.

"Text me when you get home," he waved at me, preparing to leave.

"Cheng Xia, I have something to tell you."

Though I had rehearsed it a hundred times in my head, my voice was still trembling uncontrollably.

"The first time I saw you, I really liked you. Before, you said you needed to study... Now, I want to ask you, can we..."

I had said "I like you" a hundred times.

Yet this was my first formal confession, and I was so nervous I became incoherent.

I was young and pretty back then, and there were many boys chasing after me. They said that if I had my eye on a nerd like Cheng Xia, it was his good luck.

So, I was fearless and ignorant; I didn't know what stood between us.

But now.

The gate with a century of history, the magnificent teaching buildings, and the university students chatting and laughing—all of it made me invisibly feel that distance. Cheng Xia and I were people from two different worlds.

"I don't want to date yet."

Cheng Xia seemed to have anticipated it; he rejected me very clearly and decisively.

The night was very quiet; one could hear the waves of the sea not far away, gently hitting the shore.

After a moment of silence, he asked, "Are you alright?"

The girl from the vocational high school couldn't have the honor student from the First High, and just the same, the factory worker couldn't have the 985-university student. I finally had no way to remain immersed in those sweet illusions.

"Hey, Cheng Xia." I looked up at him, trying hard not to let the tears fall: "You will never like someone like me, right? Tell me, and I won't wait anymore."

He scratched his head and pulled a pack of tissues from his pocket to wipe my tears. While wiping them, he said, "Don't overthink it. I really don't want to date... It's good that we're both in this city; we can look out for each other. If you need help with anything, just come to me anytime..."

I shook my head and hugged him tightly. His whole body went rigid, but he didn't pull away. As I sobbed quietly, I thought, how could it be?

How could there be someone so soft-hearted, yet so cruel?