Against the Current - Chapter 357

Chapter 357 - Sky Lanterns (Finale)

He began, "Regardless of life or death, for a young girl like third sister to be cast adrift with neither resource nor skill, I fear she could not have fared well. I now choose to consider her dead; whether performing acts of merit or offering prayers for her soul, it is merely a way to fulfill my deepest sentiments. Do not speak of this to second aunt, lest she cannot bear it."

Xianglan nodded, unable to help letting out a soft sigh.

For a moment the two chatted idly. Lin Jinlou recounted interesting sights he had witnessed outside to Xianglan, then said, "I have something to show you." With that, he gave instructions for a box to be brought in. When it was opened, a stack of papers lay within—some being correspondence, others folded, unmounted scrolls of calligraphy and small paintings, among diverse other items. Xianglan unfolded them and was startled to discover that these letters and paintings had unexpectedly belonged to her grandfather and father from her past life. Shocked, Xianglan jerked her head up to stare at Lin Jinlou.

Lin Jinlou said, "Elder Shen had a fine hand; those few letters were originally kept to serve as calligraphy models. Later, when misfortune befell the Shen family, most of the correspondence and ties with them were reduced to ashes. It was only by oversight that the elders forgot I still possessed a few. As time passed, I threw them to the back of my mind, and they simply sat in this box gathering dust. It was only when tidying the study a few days ago that they saw the light of day once more."

As Xianglan turned the pages of the letters, tears suddenly welled up in her eyes. Lowering her gaze, she clutched the letters and said, "Give them all to me. This is my only remaining attachment..."

Lin Jinlou watched her in silence, prompting Xianglan to look up and say, "Would you like to hear about my ties to the Shen family?"

Lin Jinlou paused, then nodded.

"In my past life, I was the legitimate eldest granddaughter of the Shen family, named Jialan. When I spoke of this to you before, it was not merely idle absurdity meant for amusement."

"Truly?"

"Truly. Back then, when my grandfather fell into disgrace and our household was raided, the downfall of our entire family occurred within a single night. By the time I received word the next day, my husband's household was already tightly surrounded by government soldiers. Later, when we were dragged to the dungeons, my mother and sister were already in another cell. I did not dare to speak or cry out, and later the jailers' shouts grew terribly fierce, so I could only look back with pleading eyes. Pitifully, I was still so innocent then, believing we would surely have a chance to meet our family again, never expecting that single glance would be a final farewell."

"I heard the women of the Shen family took their own lives in the Bureau of Music... Did you not go to the Bureau of Music?"

"No, I was sent into exile alongside my husband's family. I still remember that the very day we set off, I heard my grandfather and the others had been executed at the Meridian Gate. That day was choked with gloomy clouds, and the tears upon my face never once dried. Later, while resting halfway at a ruined little Guanyin temple, I knelt before the Bodhisattva and prayed with all my heart: whoever would collect the remains of the Shen clan, allowing the souls of our ancestors to return to the netherworld with a place to rest, I would willingly serve as a slave or maid in my next life, binding grass and carrying rings to repay them." Here, she glanced at Lin Jinlou and sighed deeply. "Originally, I did not understand why I became a maidservant in your household in this life. It was only when I caught sight of my family's ancestral tombs that everything suddenly became clear."

"And then?"

"Then, the husband of that lifetime fell ill and died on the road, and before long I too perished from poverty and illness by the wayside." Hesitating for a moment, Xianglan ultimately refrained from mentioning that Song Ke was Xiao Hang. "When I opened my eyes again in a daze, I had become a maid in the Chen family. Sometimes, when I recalled my previous life, I wondered if I had simply lived through a prolonged dream, only becoming so immersed that I mistook it for reality."

"So that was how it was."

"Do you believe me?"

"I believe you. How could I not? I believe whatever you say." Lin Jinlou looked at Xianglan with unwavering firmness in his expression, thinking to himself: no wonder Xianglan had deliberately paid her respects at the Shen family's ancestral tombs, and no wonder she was so intimately familiar with the old affairs of the Shen family, down to her calligraphy style matching Grand Secretary Shen's own strokes. If she had not been personally tutored by her grandfather, who else could have attained such authentic mastery? He had previously wondered how a pair like Chen Wanquan and his wife could have raised such a daughter—her proficiency in the zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting, her needlework, her attire, her carriage and deportment, and her worldly conduct were all so extraordinary. Now the root of it all was clear. Some minor officials later rose to wealth and had daughters, or servant girls in great noble houses tried to pass themselves off as young mistresses, merely learning to put on airs and imitate fine clothing; but the centuries-old heritage of a great clan, its very bone structure and cultivation, is bred into skin and blood—it cannot be acquired merely by mimicking the surface.

Hearing Lin Jinlou's words, Xianglan managed a faint smile and slipped her small hands into his, as if drawing strength directly into her body. "At first, I even thought that if my grandfather and the others had been reborn in this lifetime just as I was, perhaps we might meet again. Later, I realized the veil of separate lifetimes keeps us apart; and in the vast sea of humanity, life is ultimately impermanent. Those who were together in a past life might pass one another by without recognition in this one, and even if recognized, one could never tell whether it would prove a blessing or a curse. I am merely left with regret that, in the end, I never even got to see my dearest family one last time."

Seeing Xianglan gaze melancholically out the window, her brows wreathed in delicate sorrow like a lotus blossom holding dew, Lin Jinlou could not quite describe the taste in his heart. That Xianglan had confessed her most closely guarded secret to him meant she trusted him heart and soul. He felt both a ache of pity and a sudden sense of release. Opening his arms, he pulled her into his embrace, and after a long silence, he spoke.

"Whether you were born a maidservant or a young lady of the Shen family, to me you are simply yourself—my wife, and nothing else. Yet you have suffered so much hardship, which makes one's heart ache. How the Shen family met its end remains a taboo subject for now, but the Eastern Palace once sighed in private that the measures taken against the Shen family that day were overly harsh and severe. Once the new sovereign ascends the throne in the days to come, the Shen family's good name will surely be restored."

When he finished, Xianglan remained motionless for a long time. After a moment, he lowered his head to look and saw that she was nestled quietly in his arms, her face already streaming with tears.

Lin Jinlou took out a handkerchief to wipe the tears from her face, held her, and gently rocked her for a while. Gazing out the window, he saw that the sky had darkened—it was already the hour of lighting the lamps. He began, "It is the Ghost Festival today; shall we go out for a stroll? There is a temple fair outside, and it is exceptionally lively."

Xianglan said in a hoarse voice, "But there are so many people outside; what if we get crushed in the crowd..."

"How could I take you to a crowded place? Come along, I am taking you to a marvelous spot."

With that, he ordered the necessary items to be prepared. Xianglan, whose heart was weighed down with melancholy, genuinely longed to go out and ease her spirits, so both of them changed into travel attire. Xianglan boarded a sedan chair and departed from the manor's side gate, passing all the way through bustling market streets alive with unending cries from peddlers. The chair was carried straight to a nearby small hill, where Lin Jinlou had already commanded guards and attendants to clear the path.

Xianglan stepped out of the sedan, and Lin Jinlou took her hand as the two walked together up the bluestone steps. Before long, a pavilion came into view halfway up the hillside. Lingqing, Lingsu, and Xueying were already waiting there. Several red candles flickered in candleholders, while delicate palace lanterns hung overhead. Thick brocade cushions were laid out on the stone stools, and an embossed silver-gilt beast-eared burner on the stone table emitted scented incense cakes to ward off mosquitoes, curling in thin, winding wisps of smoke. Seasonal fruits were arranged alongside delicate white-glazed porcelain small plates holding various candied pastries and sweets: almonds, pinellia, spiced preserves, olives, mint, cinnamon, yam cakes, chestnut flour cakes, toad pastries, goat's milk cheese, and candied roses, among others. Seeing the two arrive, Lingsu hastily poured hot tea, filling the air with a rich, steaming fragrance. At a wave of Lin Jinlou's hand, the three of them quietly withdrew.

"Well, is this place to your liking? I had planned all along to bring you here to admire the moon on the Mid-Autumn Festival."

"It is truly a wonderful spot," Xianglan nodded.

The two merely stood side by side, the only sound in their ears being the chirping of autumn crickets. Below the hill lay the clamorous market, brilliantly lit as bright as day, with an endless stream of pedestrians coming and going. Above them, the autumn canopy hung low, the night already too deep to dissolve, dotted with sparse, glittering stars. A solitary, crystalline moon hung on the horizon like a jade plate, the mortal world and the heavenly vault reflecting one another to create a transcendent sense of detachment. Here, they were clearly nestled within the mortal dust, yet entirely removed from the world—a tiny sanctuary where it seemed only the two of them remained in all of heaven and earth.

Lin Jinlou reached out to pull Xianglan into his embrace, and she rested her head against his shoulder. They stood in quiet silence, neither speaking, both sinking into such an unspoken, tender intimacy.

Before long, faint, meandering strains of operatic singing drifted to their ears. Lin Jinlou frowned slightly and muttered, "Beyond this pavilion further up is the Moon-Viewing Tower, where other high officials are enjoying the moon and making merry. They must have called actors over to sing."

Xianglan smiled and said, "It is sung quite beautifully. That is the 'Dream Interrupted' act."

Lin Jinlou rubbed his nose and grumbled, "Of all things, they had to go and sing this particular piece." As it turned out, after The Biography of the Orchid Hermit began circulating among the common people, someone had expanded the original twelve acts into eighteen, weaving in new plot details. In this version, Xianglan and a young scholar had once been deeply in love, and Lin Jinlou had played the heavy-handed villain who broke up the mandarin ducks to save Xianglan's father, using this leverage to force her into his household—subsequently setting it to new music under the title The Orchid Bond. Because the lyrics were pure and elegant and the melody deeply moving, it spread with astonishing speed. When Lin Jinlou found out, his face had darkened for days, yet by now the play had become a household name, even eclipsing the earlier Dream of Mandarin Ducks. Suppressing a smile, Xianglan said, "The revised version is not entirely untrue; why should the master fret?" Lin Jinlou could only say bitterly, "If I find out who fabricated this nonsense, I will surely exterminate them!" Seeing the way Xianglan bit her lip to hold back a smile, he could not help looking disgruntled. This particular act of "Dream Interrupted" happened to be the one where Lin Jinlou forcibly ordered Xianglan to enter his household as a concubine.

Those winding, melodious operatic notes seemed to recount the very grievance she had felt in her heart upon entering the manor that day. Heard now once more, the past rushed back like a tidal wave. Time flowed backward to the day she entered the Lin household as a maidservant—facing a harsh master, enduring constant trials, later parting ways with her past love, saving her father only to become a concubine, suffering framing and slander, constantly acting against her own heart, and reaching dead ends time and time again when she believed she could no longer go on. She had shed many tears and made many foolish mistakes, yet she had grown strong through it all. Every step had been paved with blood and tears, yet each step had also grown steadily firmer. With every hurdle cleared, she had matured in wisdom, eventually shedding all her heaviness and sharp edges, slowly polishing her crude and proud heart into a luminous pearl and jade, returning to her origins to view the world with utmost benevolence, humility, and harmony.

Lin Jinlou suddenly broke the silence, asking, "When I treated you that way back then, looking back, I really was a bastard."

Surprised, Xianglan turned her head to look at him. In the candlelight, his face flickered between light and shadow. "I have already slowly forgotten the times you were unkind to me," she said. She reached out to take Lin Jinlou's large palm, placing it gently over her belly, and looked straight into his eyes. "The days ahead are long and distant. Besides, we have him now." Then, with a relieved and untroubled smile, she added, "All those hardships back then were merely because my karmic obstacles had not yet been cleansed."

That gentle smile was far more captivating than any radiant laugh. Lin Jinlou's expression shifted slightly—touched, sorrowful, and yet filled with joy. He stared directly into Xianglan's eyes as if peering into her very soul, wishing to carve her into his own flesh and blood.

He grasped Xianglan's hand and said, "Come with me." Leading her outside the pavilion, he motioned toward a tray presented by an attendant and said, "According to custom today, we should float lotus lanterns upon the river. Since there is no river here, we shall use this instead. This is a prayer lantern meant to carry away misfortunes." The sky lantern was fashioned of red paper, fully half a person in height and exceptionally grand. The two of them grasped it together, and Lin Jinlou took out a fire striker to ignite the oiled paper inside.

The bright flames within the lantern made Xianglan's face—smooth as white jade—appear all the more luminous, her starry eyes swimming with light and her peach-blossom cheeks flushed with color. Lin Jinlou nearly gazed at her in a daze, only snapping out of it a moment later to say, "Let go." As the two released their hold, the lantern drifted leisurely up into the sky. Lin Jinlou then helped her ignite the next one.

Together, they lit ten sky lanterns, and further commanded the guards and maidservants to light over forty more. The moonlight was like water, casting a sheet of silver radiance as the sky lanterns floated into the firmament—scattered like stars, brilliant as gold, and truly magnificent. Many common people down on the hillside stopped in their tracks, pausing to point upward in wonder.

Xianglan gazed up in admiration, her head tilted back unceasingly.

Lin Jinlou asked with a smile, "Do you like them?"

Xianglan nodded.

Lin Jinlou picked up a white sky lantern. "This lantern is set afloat for the departed. Whatever you wish to say to your family from your past life, write it upon here. They say departed loved ones possess spirits in the underworld and will surely see it."

Xianglan picked up the brush, pondered for a moment, and then swept the brush across the paper. Though her heart was flooded with a hundred tangled emotions, the words falling from her brush were few: "Parted by life and death, an aching remembrance etched into the bone, tears falling in silent streams. In this life and the next, I fear we shall not meet again, yet we shall never be forgotten. I am well; I hope you are at peace." Afterward, she personally lit the lantern and, together with Lin Jinlou, released it upward into the heavens.

Xianglan watched with upturned face as the lantern drifted further and further away. A nocturnal breeze stirred, fluttering the loose strands of hair at her temples.

Lin Jinlou removed his heavy cloak, draped it over her shoulders, and pulled her close as they gazed out into the distance. "What did you write just now?"

"Nothing much, only that I am doing well now and hope they are all at peace as well."

"Is your heart more at ease now?"

"Mm, much more at ease."

"Then from this day forward, harbor no more regrets. Let this serve as our final farewell to your family from the past life. Whatever came before—be it wind, rain, or hardship—let us turn the page completely... From now on, you have me." With those words, Lin Jinlou lowered his head and kissed her forehead.

Xianglan felt as though something heavy pressing upon her chest had finally lifted. Her past history truly seemed to grow so faint in an instant that a single breath of wind could shatter it. She had a heart full of words she wished to pour out to Lin Jinlou, yet stuck in her throat, not a single one would come; she could only gaze at him in a daze.

With solemn dignity and a steady voice, Lin Jinlou spoke, "I have no other desires left in this world."

Nor did she have any other desires.

She looked at him, the two of them standing quietly together.

In this corner of the world, amidst the clamor and warmth, surrounded by sky lanterns, singing voices, natural sounds, and the bustling crowds of the market below, the myriad affairs of the mortal world were all steeped in the breath of human life; yet the entire universe was simultaneously so serene and silent, still as the mountains, still as the verdant peaks, still as the autumn wind, still as the frost-white full moon resting upon the tree-tops. All things had attained nirvana, entering a realm beyond birth and death.

A breeze arose, rustling the hem of Xianglan's gown and skirt, leaving her in a momentary daze where she knew neither dream nor reality, past life nor present, nor even where her own body rested. In all directions, only this single man remained within her vision, leaving no room for anything else. Lost entirely in a realm where self and objects vanished as one, she continually called out her beloved's name in her heart.

(Main Text Complete)