Against the Current - Chapter 356

Chapter 356 - Revealing 

Xianglan puffed out her cheeks. "I purposely held back for several days without writing to tell you, wanting to tell you in person. Eldest Master should have pretended not to know anything, and waited until I told you so you could be properly overjoyed!"

"You silly girl, how can anyone pretend about a thing like this..."

Xianglan furiously twisted her hands together, her face flushed red. "Eldest Master, you are always like this—completely destroying the romantic mood by talking of mundane things. You won't even humor me or go along with my wishes for once."

"Aren't you wronging me? How have I not humored you?"

"Even when you humor me, you just make it follow your own wishes."

Lin Jinlou guiltily rubbed his nose. "Who says so? Ah? Besides, the two of us are inseparable, so whose wishes it follows is all the same. Furthermore, once this news is known, it's known—it's not a bad thing, why hide it or tuck it away?"

Originally, this matter wasn't much of a big deal, but Lin Jinlou's attitude was enough to make someone angry. Xianglan could not help feeling choked with frustration. Reasoning with a soldier was like trying to argue with an unreasoning person; she turned her face away and ignored him. Lin Jinlou hurriedly pulled her into his arms and said, "I was simply dazed with joy and didn't spare a thought for anything else. To have a child when I am already on the threshold of thirty, how could my heart not be filled with joy? Originally, I had stopped thinking about this altogether, and it truly feels like a huge meat pie dropped from the heavens and smashed right into my head with a bang."

Hearing him speak like this, Xianglan's heart softened. Remaining with her back turned to him, her eyes nevertheless darted backward, catching his gaze directly. Lin Jinlou winked at her, and with a soft hmph, Xianglan turned her face away again. Lin Jinlou chuckled with a low hehe and said, "Stop sulking. On such a fine day, come, eat some food first, and don't starve my son and my son's mother." As he spoke, he picked up his chopsticks, solicitously placed some of Xianglan's favorite dishes onto a small plate, and held it out to feed her.

Xianglan stared at him with bright, clear eyes. Seeing his pleased expression, which looked somewhat naive and lacked even a shred of his usual formidable sternness and decisiveness, she felt a sudden urge to laugh, yet her heart also felt somewhat sour. Involuntarily, she opened her mouth and ate that mouthful of food.

Lin Jinlou picked up other dishes for her. Although Xianglan originally wanted to say she could do it herself, she was reluctant to move. Sitting quietly as she watched him, eating the various dishes he fed her, listening to his tender inquiries, and watching him smile like a silly boy, her heart suddenly grew peaceful and tranquil. She felt so content and comforted, as if she had experienced this before. Upon careful recollection, back in her past life when she was with Xiao Hang, and in this present life when she was with Song Ke, she had felt this exact same emotion. Those brief and beautiful moments had once been the straws she desperately clutched onto during her darkest despairs. She had never imagined that such a sweet taste of happiness would come from Lin Jinlou—not the walking on thin ice or the shallow, tentative sips of the past, but a quiet, serene, and wholly poured-out devotion.

It was an early autumn afternoon. Xianglan looked out the window and saw clouds like dried bones, thin and starkly white, against a desolate vault of heaven. A gentle breeze blew in, stirring her loose wisps of hair. The pond surrounding the Jianqiu Pavilion was emerald-green and crystal-clear, half-covered by lotus leaves with water lilies blooming everywhere. The banks were jagged with bizarre rock formations, planted entirely with famous flowers and exotic plants. It was just the time of their blooming, gorgeous as a brocade screen; one flower had not yet faded before another opened, rich, vibrant, and colorful. Another year had passed, and things remained while people had changed through countless shifts. The very first turning point of her fate within the Lin estate had taken place during a banquet in this exact water pavilion, where Cao Lihuan had secretly poured peach juice, and she had reported it to Madam Qin's trusted confidante. Circumstances of the world were unpredictable; back then, she could never have imagined that one day she would be sitting here in such brocade and fine pearls—she truly could never have imagined it.

Lin Jinlou fed Xianglan for a while until she shook her head and refused to eat any more, then half-coaxed and half-ordered her to finish a bowl of porridge before he finally picked up his chopsticks and wolfed down his own meal in a flurry. Presently, Xiaojuan and Huashan cleared away the remaining dishes, laid out fresh fruits and pastries, brewed hot tea, and draped an emerald-colored double-happiness subtly-woven gold-thread padded jacket over Xianglan's shoulders.

The two of them sat in the water pavilion, chatting idly about all sorts of trivial things. They spoke intermittently about the household's situation over the past few days, matters of congratulating others, and mentioned that Lin Dongxiu had sent a letter. Lin Dongxiu had carried a child for ten months and given birth to a daughter; although she felt a little disappointed in her heart, she doted on the child dearly. She wrote about her daily trivialities to Xianglan and mentioned Jiang Xiyun at the end of the letter.

That Jiang Xiyun truly possessed a stroke of good fortune, having married into a prominent family as a second wife. However, the household was large and complex, and from top to bottom, not a single person was easy to get along with. Her husband also had concubines, and children were left behind from his previous marriage. Although her mother-in-law had heard rumors and was not very fond of her, she had relented because her son wished for it. Even so, the mother-in-law still looked upon her with disfavor and stuffed two charming concubines into her son's chambers right during the newlywed days. Jiang Xiyun was sweet-tongued and resolute in action; she maneuvered through the household, played all sides, reeled people in by playing the fool, suppressed and squeezed out rivals with brilliant methods, and kept everything firmly under her control. She never suffered losses either in words or deeds, won her husband's favor, and engaged in subtle power struggles with her mother-in-law, sisters-in-law, and co-wives, managing to consistently outrank them and secure her footing within the mansion. Yet how could someone do all this without making enemies? Two months ago, when she was riding in a carriage back to her maiden home, someone had quietly instructed a servant to place wheat grains inside the horse's ears. The horse grew intensely itchy and frantic, bolting wildly and throwing her out of the carriage, causing her to miscarry on the spot. The doctor said that this bout of heavy bleeding was extremely dangerous, and saving her life was already a miracle; she would likely find it difficult to bear children in the future.

Xianglan paused, let out a deep sigh, and said, "Sister Xiu's letter concluded by saying, 'From this, we can see that the net of heaven is vast, with large meshes, yet it misses nothing, and the retribution of cause and effect operates in a continuous cycle without fail.' That is precisely what I wanted to say as well."

Lin Jinlou stroked Xianglan's cheek, letting her lean against his chest, and said, "The paths beneath our feet are all walked by ourselves. She was too obsessed with her own calculations in her conduct, so it is no wonder things turned out this way."

The two remained silent for a long time, listening only to the bubbling of the iron kettle on the red-mud miniature stove.

Lin Jinlou toyed with the bracelet on Xianglan's wrist and said, "At the end of the year, Second Brother is getting remarried. Don't forget to prepare a generous gift and send someone to deliver it when the time comes."

Xianglan was startled. "Second Master Xuan is getting remarried? Who is he marrying?"

Lin Jinlou replied, "It was just finalized. She is the daughter of an old acquaintance. Later on, her father died and her mother remarried; her family declined and fell into utter poverty, so she had to rely on relatives. I heard she has suffered a lot of hardship. She is neat, fair-skinned, gentle-natured, and taciturn. Her elder brother is ambitious—he passed the provincial examination and became a student of the old master, and his character is loyal and honest. The old patriarch personally inspected the girl and settled the matter. Tch, Second Brother has always favored flirtatious and coquettish women like Tan; I wonder if this honest and obedient one will be to his liking."

Ever since that major upheaval, Lin JinXuan had fallen gravely ill, his health fluctuating between good and bad. When he finally recovered somewhat, he had grown entirely dejected and listless. While others were fine, Old Madam Lin could not help but sigh day and night in worry, but Lin Jinlou had laughed and said, "I know how to cure Second Brother's illness; taking a beautiful concubine will fix him right up." Xianglan could not help giving him a sideways glance, but Lin Jinlou only winked at her. Taking it seriously, Old Madam Lin searched high and low through the household's maids for someone pleasing, and finally spent silver to buy an absolute beauty from the outside to place in Lin JinXuan's chambers. Within a few days, Lin JinXuan's spirits revived, and he ate an extra bowl of rice. A few days after that, Xianglan heard from the maids that Lin JinXuan was already speaking with gentle tenderness while holding a brush to teach her how to write. In his bedroom, there had originally hung a portrait of Tan Luhua drawn by Xianglan; Lin JinXuan used to face it every day, shedding tears of remembrance, but now it had been quietly taken down and placed somewhere unknown.

Xianglan could only sigh, thinking that the affection between ordinary men and women amounted to just this in the end. Unwavering devotion and enduring love until the end of time were rare indeed in the human world, which was why whenever they did appear, they became legendary tales passed down through the ages. Intense passion or obsessive devotion—most of it ultimately could not withstand the erosion of time and years. As new faces bloomed like flowers, the old ones slowly faded into mere shadows, leaving behind only a tiny ripple that gradually dissolved into nothingness. Life had to go on regardless.

Xianglan sighed softly and said, "Tan Luhua is still locked away in the temple. In another year or two, if she is willing, let her find an ordinary family to marry."

Lin Jinlou picked up a piece of hibiscus pastry, placed it on a small plate, pushed it toward Xianglan, and said, "You are still worrying about her? She has far more schemes than you do. The older nuns in the monastery are gradually loosening their supervision, and long ago she tidied herself up, applied rouge and powder, and flirted with scholars lodging at the temple; she only holds back for now because she dares not act rashly. The old patriarch's intention is to let her go in three to five years, but not yet." Lifting his gaze to look at Xianglan's dumbfounded expression—looking as blank and adorable as a porcelain doll—he could not help laughing and gave the tip of her nose a light twist. "In all the world, you are the absolute silliest."

Xianglan batted Lin Jinlou's hand away, casting a sidelong glance at him. "This is playing the fool while possessing great wisdom; it is simplifying the complex."

Lin Jinlou let out a snort of laughter and could not resist kissing her on the cheek. Seeing him smile in a way that was both hateful and smug, and noting that there was no one around, Xianglan could not help wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back on the cheek. Lin Jinlou froze instantly, then laughed, "Oh, oh, oh! This is extraordinary—my little pedantic scholar actually kissed your lord outside the bedroom! Am I dreaming today or what?"

Xianglan blushed crimson, let go of her hands, and feigned deafness. Seeing her shy appearance, Lin Jinlou wanted to tease her further, but second-guessing himself, he figured it wouldn't do to truly anger Xianglan; what if she stubbornly refused to ever kiss him outside again in the future? He held back his teasing, smiled broadly, and resumed picking out food for her, saying, "You're going to bear me a son, yet your face is still so thin-skinned. Do you remember what I said to you at night before I left this time?"

Xianglan's face grew even redder. She glared at him, then could not help asking, "What if it's a daughter?"

Lin Jinlou said happily, "A daughter is fine too! Whatever you give birth to, I will cherish. Having a son is just good for giving an account to the elders, so they won't nag me about incense and descendants."

A smile broke out on Xianglan's face as her mind was finally set at ease. She ate half a pastry, and recalling something, she said, "The master sent a letter two days ago saying that the various temples are holding water-and-land grand rituals for the Ghost Festival, and asked the household to disburse silver to perform merits for the deceased ancestors. The silver has already been drawn from the accounts, but I noticed the name of the Third Young Miss is also on the memorial list... Could she really be dead? A few days ago when I went out, I even saw a woman wearing an apricot-yellow shirt and a ochre skirt walking on the street. Her back had the exact figure of the Third Young Miss, though unfortunately it wasn't her."

Lin Dongling's whereabouts remained vague. Some people said she had been seen in Qing County dressed like a countrywoman sitting on a market cart; others claimed they had spotted her in the alleys of Yangzhou's pleasure quarters, heavily makeup-clad and waving from a balustrade; some said she had become the adopted daughter of a wealthy gentleman in Baoding; while others claimed she had married into a family on the outskirts of the capital. The stories varied endlessly, and though the Lin family sent people to check every single one, none of them turned out to be her. Selfish, willful, and stained with human lives, Lin Dongling had ultimately been spoiled rotten by Madam Wang. Xianglan held no affection for her, yet now she could not help feeling a trace of pity.

Lin Jinlou looked up at the sky, a pensive look crossing his face. Ever since Lin Dongling ran away, the Lin family had sent people searching both openly and covertly. On the tenth day after her disappearance, the Nine Gates Infantry Commander's Office sent word that a young female corpse had been hooked out from the reed marshes of the North Moat, and the coroner's examination determined that the woman had been raped and murdered. Lin Jinlou had gone in person to identify the body, but it was already badly decomposed beyond recognition, and because the lower half had been soaked in water, her height could no longer be verified. Her clothes had long since torn to shreds, but the color bore some resemblance to what Lin Dongling was wearing when she disappeared. Not daring to jump to conclusions, Lin Jinlou nevertheless claimed the body, buried it at a chosen burial plot, and kept the matter hidden upon returning home, fearing that Madam Wang would suffer a breakdown if she found out. Thus, he buried the secret deep within his heart.