Against the Current - Chapter 352

Chapter 352 - Living Together (Part 2)

When Xianglan returned to Jinling in the capacity of the Eldest Young Mistress of the Lin family, Lin Jinlou hosted banquets for her, holding continuous feasts in the residence for several days. The purpose was twofold: first, to invite influential and prominent households on good terms with the Lin family, and second, to invite prominent relatives from several branches of the clan who frequently interacted with them. However, there was one exception—a woman from the "Zhao" generation of the clan, surnamed Ding, commonly known as Fifth Mistress Lin, who failed to attend.

This Madam Ding was originally the descendant of an illustrious family of high-ranking officials spanning generations. It was only by her father's generation that the family had fallen into decline. Though of average appearance, she was exceptionally skilled in needlework and embroidery. Strong-willed and capable, she had already established a fine reputation in her maiden days, which led to her marriage into a branch of the Lin family. Unexpectedly, her husband died young, and the household gradually fell on hard times. Yet Madam Ding resolutely refused to remarry, single-handedly raising a son and daughter. When some clan members bullied her for being a helpless widow, Madam Ding marched right up to their doorstep armed with two kitchen knives to reason with them, creating enough of an uproar to alert the clan leader and finally securing justice. From then on, her fame spread far and wide. Because of her capability, minor and major affairs among the clan's sisters-in-law, female relatives, and in-laws were all managed by her, earning even Madam Qin's utmost respect. Later, her maternal family showed signs of resurgence, and her son passed the provincial imperial examinations to become an official, earning his mother a noble title of honor through imperial decree. This only added to Madam Ding's formidable dignity.

Mother Wu, who had returned along with Xianglan and the others, was an old servant of the household. Well-connected with news both inside and outside the estate, and possessing an extremely sharp and observant mind, she quietly whispered to Xianglan, "Fifth Mistress is on very good terms with the Grand Lady of Xian Guo. Back when the Grand Lady's daughter, Zheng Jingxian, was on bad terms with her husband, the young master of the Song family, the Grand Lady of Xian Guo claimed that... well, she claimed that the Young Mistress seduced other men, and that such a seductive, bewitching nature would follow you anywhere. That uproar caused Madam Ding to view the Young Mistress as a vixen too, and whenever she brought you up, not a single kind word passed her lips. Back when the Eldest Young Master published The Legend of Recluse Lanxiang, Fifth Mistress guessed that the Eldest Young Master intended to marry the Young Mistress. She declared that the script was mostly fabricated and that the Young Mistress would never manage to marry into the Lin family. She sneered that someone of a lowly maidservant's background was like a toad trying to eat swan meat, bound to disgrace the family's reputation. She even wrote a special letter to our Old Madam. Knowing the Eldest Young Master's temper, the Old Madam burned the letter the very moment she laid eyes on it, terrified that if the Eldest Young Master found out, he would fly into a rage and rupture the ties of kinship. When the Eldest Young Master invited the relatives this time, countless people went out of their way to invite Madam Ding, but she stubbornly refused to come... I'm telling you this, Young Mistress, simply so you can keep it in mind." She then comforted Xianglan, saying, "Put your mind at ease, Young Mistress. You won't run into each other anyway, and as long as a superficial veneer of civility is maintained on the surface, that will be enough."

Xianglan stood frozen in place. Just as Mother Wu was about to offer a few more reassuring words, Xianglan smiled faintly and said, "I understand. If she even wrote letters to the Old Madam behind my back, heaven knows how much gossip she must have spread about me privately. To say that it doesn't sting at all would be a lie. But Mother Wu knows how much I've been through just to reach this day. Living in this world, there will always be people who reduce your worth to nothing, pointing fingers at you from all directions while leaving you completely unable to clear your name. But who I truly am inside—is that ever something they could change just by spitting out a few sour, malicious, and heart-piercing words?"

Mother Wu had not expected Xianglan to have such an open and detached perspective, and she sighed in praise, "Indeed, it should be so. Public opinion is a fearful thing; I don't know how many heroes it has driven to their graves, let alone a young woman. Just think, why bother ruining your own good life over a few spiteful words?"

Xianglan replied, "Back then, I was naive and ignorant. Whenever someone uttered a sour remark, made a cutting comment, or wronged and aggrieved me, even if I didn't say anything aloud, I harbored resentment in my heart. Not to mention rushing to talk back—I always felt I had to deliver a sharper retort just to vent my frustration. Later on, I gradually realized there was no point in it. Without arguing or contending, one sees that people's horizons vary in breadth and their understanding varies in depth; one should simply act with a good conscience. No matter what people say, even the ugliest remarks can be met with a simple smile. If you can't let go of a few harsh words, how could you possibly handle major crises in the future?"

Mother Wu smiled and said, "My dear girl, I won't hide it from you—countless daydreaming maids below are green with envy. They make catty remarks, claiming the Young Mistress merely has a pretty face given by her parents. How could they possibly know that the Eldest Young Master has seen countless beauties in his life, yet ultimately fell so deeply in devotion here? It's simply because the Young Mistress possesses such vast breadth of mind within her heart."

Xianglan couldn't help laughing. "How much weight do I carry? Others might not know, but surely Mother Wu does? We're all ordinary people. In truth, I am quite timid and narrow-minded. When I first entered the estate, I stubbornly believed I was a cut above everyone else, feeling deeply dissatisfied with everything around me. Yet I was like pure jade covered in dust, fallen into such a mire of right and wrong. It took suffering countless hardships to realize that no one should ever be underestimated. Ultimately, a person must remain humble and serene."

Mother Wu raised her head. Seeing Xianglan's skin gleaming brighter than snow, radiant like a luminous pearl emitting a soft halo, she couldn't help silently marveling. Who could have imagined that a girl as delicate as fresh flowers and tender willow shoots would endure so many trials over just a few short years? Now poised and sensible, the spaciousness of her heart had likely been stretched wide by the very grievances she had suffered.

The matter was thus laid to rest, and no one ever brought it up again.

Time flew by like a white horse passing a crevice, and the sun and moon shuttled like a weaver's shuttle; in the blink of an eye, a full year passed. Ever since their marriage, Lin Jinlou harbored no other worldly desires. The person he had striven through countless hardships to win had finally confessed her mutual affection, and she now orbited around him every single day, leaving him completely content. He declined social engagements every day, returning home early to chat and make merry with Xianglan. Sometimes, while he reviewed official documents, Xianglan would curl up on the chaise longue with a book, occasionally stepping over to pour him fresh tea. Though the two of them remained quiet, the atmosphere was serene and tranquil. Xianglan occasionally taught him how to paint, and when he grew tired of writing, he would pick up a lantern and coax Xianglan out into the courtyard for a stroll. In the quiet night, he would steal a few kisses, fold her into his arms, and breathe in the fragrance of her hair, feeling that everything was complete. It was as if, having lived nearly thirty years, he had finally taken a settling pill of peace, feeling a happiness so intense it made him feel slightly lightheaded.

Xianglan was also secretly amazed. Lin Jinlou had originally been a man who thrived on endless social obligations and spent years wandering through the world of wine and pleasure. Yet ever since their marriage, he had cut off outside social calls entirely. Even when an invitation was impossible to decline, he would return home early, acting as though he relished domestic life above all else. When he had free time, he frequently took her out to wander about—to theater pavilions to listen to operas, to banquet towers to share feasts, to scenic spots to enjoy the landscape, and every so often, they would stay at a countryside estate for a few days. Even so, he remained an imperious master with a wicked temper who brooked no defiance. Yet once his anger passed, if he saw she was genuinely aggrieved and ignoring him, he would shamelessly worm his way back to hang around her, playing the fool as if nothing had happened, leaving people torn between laughter and tears. Xianglan understood in her heart that this tyrannical lord would never turn into a gentle, tender, and considerate young husband; he still constantly bullied her and stubbornly forced her to bend to his will. Yet whenever she looked at that scoundrel, joy blossomed in her heart, bringing an indescribable sense of grounded stability.

One day, Lin Jinlou and Xianglan went to visit a family of lifelong acquaintances. Passing by the Taiyu Restaurant, Lin Jinlou remembered that this establishment made six kinds of vegetarian pastries with a unique flavor, so he sent someone to buy them. While Xianglan waited inside her sedan chair, lifting the curtain slightly to peer outside, a tall, thin man walked toward her from the opposite direction. He looked somewhat familiar, and as he drew closer, she realized with a start that it was none other than Xia Yun. He was dressed in a plain, drab green robe, with his cheeks sunken in. Though not completely destitute, he looked thoroughly haggard, and his expression was dazed—hardly the look of someone living a comfortable life.

After he walked past, Xianglan was still lost in thought. Guiyuan, observing this from the side, stepped forward and asked, "Does the Young Mistress know this man?" Xianglan replied, "He is Young Scholar Xia. I have a history with him, though I wonder how he has been faring."

Guiyuan tucked this into his memory, inquired about Xia Yun's residence, and actually went out to investigate. Returning, he reported to Xianglan, "That Scholar Xia was stripped of his academic honors. Later, he changed his name and took the examinations in another province, but he only managed to pass as a licentiate (xiucai) and never advanced to become a provincial graduate (juren). Because of his poor reputation, he was heavily ostracized and now makes a living merely by tutoring young children in basic literacy and copying manuscripts for others to earn a few copper coins. The year before last, while he was taking exams in another province, his father fell gravely ill at home. Silver was spent like flowing water, yet the old man never recovered. His second sister-in-law couldn't take it anymore and egged her husband on; the two of them actually locked the old man alone in a room during the night. Neighbors reported that at first, the old man was still cursing from inside the room, but gradually his voice faded away. When Xia Yun returned and opened the door, he found him reduced to skin and bones, completely unhuman, with feces and urine staining the floor—he had literally been starved to death. The county magistrate dragged his second brother's family off and sentenced them to immediate decapitation, while the other brothers and sisters all received floggings with heavy boards. Ah, pitiful, truly pitiful. I heard his heart has turned cold too; these few days he's been packing his luggage, planning to leave his family behind and head north to carve out a living."

Xianglan listened in silence without a word. Fanshan grabbed a handful of coins, handed them to Guiyuan, escorted him out personally, and whispered, "There's a parcel of pastries in the cabinet outside, take them and eat." Guiyuan used the pretext of taking the coins to brush against Fanshan's hand, smiling as he said, "It's still sister Fanshan who knows how to pity me." Fanshan glared at him with a look that was half-smile, half-scowl, flicked her braid, and went back inside.

That night, the couple lay shoulder to shoulder on the bed. Jinlou lazily stroked Xianglan's hair, exchanging idle chatter with her. He normally detested discussing his own affairs with women, believing that females were inherently short-sighted and narrow-minded, prone to drowning themselves in petty emotions, gossiping, stirring up trouble, making a fuss over matters the size of a needle's eye, and crying to high heaven and earth. He simply lacked the patience to deal with them. Xianglan, however, was different. Her speech was gentle, her voice soft, and she was intelligent and reasonable. She never gossiped about others and always approached matters from a magnanimous perspective. Conversing with her felt like taking a soothing, cooling medicine; it cleared his mind and gradually dispelled the anxiety and irritation accumulated from his daytime official duties. While bedroom intimacy had its own share of intense passion, these whispered conversations in the dead of night—warm, cozy, and secure—made him feel even more deeply comforted at heart.

Xianglan brought up the matter of Xia Yun to Lin Jinlou. Playing with Xianglan's fingers, Jinlou remarked, "I heard you once kowtowed to him back then. His current state is nothing less than karmic retribution. Has your resentment finally cleared?"

Xianglan sighed softly, "Though he was somewhat self-righteous, he wasn't a bad person; he was simply born at the wrong time. It just shows that a family needn't fear poverty, but it must fear a corrupt moral foundation. Back because of him, my father nearly lost his life, and I hated him bitterly. But as time passed, all that hatred and vengeance faded away long ago—I had almost forgotten such a person even existed... You wouldn't know, but he used to be quite a neat and respectable young scholar. Now he's weathered by the wind and frost, looking more than ten years older. One can tell at a glance that he has endured countless hardships. Eldest Young Master, why don't you restore his academic rank to him?"

Lin Jinlou frowned slightly. "Restore his academic rank?"

"Mmm. He spent years reading by the window through bitter winters just to win that academic rank; he genuinely has true talent and real learning." Xianglan rested her head on Lin Jinlou's arm, placing her hand upon his chest. "With his current reputation, even if he regains his official scholar status, it will still be difficult for him to secure an official post, but it would certainly be better than his present plight. You hold grudges against me, and I hold grudges against you; hurting each other back and forth only deepens the cycle of grievances, which is truly meaningless. Besides, so much time has passed, and the past incident wasn't entirely his fault."