Against the Current - Chapter 316

Chapter 316 - Seeing Off a Guest

After speaking, Lin Jinlou fell silent. The room was wrapped in profound quiet, and after an unknown length of time, the sound of the third watch drifting from the night watchman outside echoed through the air. Xianglan knew Lin Jinlou had not yet slept. She lay quietly beside him as well, her mind replaying the question he had just asked her: "Xianglan, do you still resent me?" A sudden soreness gripped her nose, and her heart felt as weary as if it had traversed a thousand mountains and rivers, heavy as though it had bobbed through the misty, turbulent sea of life several times over.

By the dawn of the next day, right at the Mao hour, Lin Jinlou rose and called for servants to come in and attend to his washing and dressing. Xianglan silently got up and followed suit. Once the ablutions were finished, Lin Jinlou ordered a carriage to be prepared and asked for his shearling-lined heavy cloak to be fetched. Hesitant, Xianglan asked, "Second Master, are you going out?"

Lin Jinlou let out a soft "Mn" and instructed Xianglan, "Change your clothes and come with me."

"But Second Master, your injuries..."

"It's nothing."

"Yet..."

"I said it's nothing." Lin Jinlou turned his face sideways and, seeing Xianglan's brows tightly furrowed, softened his tone. "I thought about it all night, and this trip has to be made. Don't ask any more questions; just go get ready. We'll be back in half an hour at most."

Xianglan wanted to ask further, but seeing Lin Jinlou's tense expression and furrowed brows as he ordered Lingqing and Lingsu to bring his writing brush and ink, then repeatedly urged her to change her clothes, she realized she had no choice. Lin Jinlou always meant what he said. Helpless, Xianglan changed into outdoor garments, shared a bowl of hot noodle soup with him before departure, and then they set off on the road.

The sky was still dark at this hour, with a waning crescent moon hanging crookedly in the night sky. Eight pageboys carrying lanterns trailed close on either side, while a dozen sabre-wielding guards followed on horseback along the flanks. The carriage was lined with a thick layer of grey rat-fur mattresses, accompanied by a large bronze foot-warmer filled with burning pine, cypress, and lily-herb incense. Lin Jinlou leaned sideways against a large ink-splashed cushion, while Xianglan sat tucked with her knees drawn up on the opposite end. She stole a glance at Lin Jinlou; the light inside the carriage was dim, making his complexion unclear, though she could vaguely tell he remained deep in thought.

After traveling for about the time it takes to burn a stick of incense, the carriage came to a stop. Jixiang hurried up to the carriage, exhaling two puffs of white mist, rubbed his hands together, and bowed respectfully with a bent waist. "Second Master, we have arrived."

Lin Jinlou gave a low "Mn." Shuangxi immediately stepped forward to lift the door curtain, and the attendants carefully helped Lin Jinlou out. A pageboy had already brought over a chair draped with a thick wolf-skin seat cushion, assisting him to sit down. Xianglan raised her gaze and realized the carriage had left the city gates. Directly ahead stood a roadside post station, and within the long pavilion stood two men holding wine cups, appearing as though they were bidding farewell. Looking closer, she saw that the man facing her wore a semi-new indigo woolen cloak and a white fox-fur hat on his head. Framed against the backdrop of verdant cypresses and towering pines behind him, he appeared all the more tall, upright, and graceful—none other than Song Ke.

Their eyes met accidentally, and Song Ke instantly wore a look of utter disbelief, freezing in place. Xianglan was also startled, covering her mouth with her hand and instinctively retreating half a step before lowering her gaze to look at Lin Jinlou.

Lin Jinlou sat in the grand master's chair, his lips pressed tight, holding a hand warmer decorated with plum blossoms, orchids, and chrysanthemums in his hands. The biting cold wind whipped the black fox fur on his hat, making the face beneath it appear even paler, carrying an air of languid weariness. Seeing Xianglan look at him, he smiled faintly and said, "Go say your farewells. This is the last time. I might as well play the good guy; once we are separated by mountains and rivers later on, even with wings we wouldn't be able to meet."

Xianglan blinked, staring blankly at Lin Jinlou, convinced she must have misheard.

Without delay, Shuangxi hitched up his robes and trotted over to invite Song Ke to come closer. The person bidding farewell to Song Ke was none other than Lin Jinlong, who stared with his mouth agape, looking back and forth between Song Ke and Lin Jinlou. He rubbed his hands together and was about to come over when a glare from Lin Jinlou pinned him right where he stood.

Jixiang handed a bundle wrapped in green satin into Xianglan's hands, speaking in a low voice, "The Second Master knows that Grandaunt is a kind and sincere person who never forgets a kindness and always repays it. The Second Master prepared this on Grandaunt's behalf."

Xianglan took it and unfolded it to take a look, discovering a dense stack of banknotes alongside two ingots of gold inside. She was startled once more and looked back. Lin Jinlou was still clutching his hand warmer, expressionless like a wax figurine sitting there. Xianglan turned her head back, feeling her eye sockets grow hot. When she lifted her gaze again, Song Ke had already walked up to her, stopping just a foot away. He cupped his fists in a salute and said, "Many thanks to General Lin for coming to see us off."

Lin Jinlou coughed twice and smiled amiably, "Brother Yifei is too polite. I have injuries on my body and find it inconvenient to stand, so I ask for your forgiveness. My household dependent has repeatedly received great kindness from Brother Yifei; her benefactor is naturally my benefactor, and it is only right that I come to express my sincere regards."

Before his words had faded, a tall woman stepped out from among the three carriages parked outside the long pavilion. Wearing a silver-white cloak and cradling a toddler in her arms, she walked straight toward them.

Xianglan looked over and recognized the woman as Zheng Jingxian. Now that her family had suffered a massive catastrophe—her father having committed suicide in prison, her mother dying of illness just two days prior, her maiden family's estate confiscated, and her siblings' fates unknown—Zheng Jingxian was reduced to a state of haggard thinness, looking as though she had lost all her flesh. Yet her spine remained straight, and the heroic, proud spirit on her face had not diminished in the slightest.

Lin Jinlou nodded slightly and took the initiative to smile, "Biaomei has arrived." Xianglan also curtsied in greeting.

Zheng Jingxian directed her greeting solely at Lin Jinlou, saying, "Elder cousin-in-law." Then, looking at Xianglan, she smiled and said, "Oh, you've come too. Everyone in the capital says the Lin family's Second Master's concubine holds great sway, and seeing it now, it's truly not false. It seems you and the elder cousin-in-law have been deeply affectionate and harmonious lately, quite unlike that aggrieved appearance you put on before."

Lin Jinlou was a seasoned operator. Without waiting for Xianglan to speak, he smiled, "Bring your son over for me to take a look; I haven't laid eyes on this little fellow yet." Zheng Jingxian took two steps forward and coaxed the toddler, saying, "Be a good boy, call your cousin-uncle." The toddler was around two years old, fair-tender and chubby-faced with a pair of large, darting eyes, presenting an adorable, clever look like carved jade and snow. Instead of greeting anyone, he simply sucked on his finger and stared intently at Lin Jinlou.

Lin Jinlou unfastened a jade pendant tied with a five-colored long silk tassel from his waistband and handed it to Zheng Jingxian, saying, "Coming in a hurry, take this to serve as a token of our first meeting."

Zheng Jingxian accepted it with a smile, "Then I won't decline out of courtesy." Glancing at Xianglan, she added, "Later on, make sure sister Xianglan adds a little one for you too. I know several doctors who are absolute masters at treating difficult conditions and nourishing the body."

Song Ke could not help frowning. Because Xianglan had been framed by the Jiang family sisters, rumors that she would find it difficult to conceive in the future had been widely circulated. Zheng Jingxian's intentional or unintentional jab was bound to make Lin Jinlou feel uncomfortable. Sure enough, Lin Jinlou smiled, "Look at this cousin-in-law; she's even more eager to worry about my heir than our own mistress. Truly a married woman now—she doesn't speak with the reserve she had back when she was an unmarried maiden."

Song Ke said to Zheng Jingxian, "General Lin has specially come to see us off, what are you saying all this for? The child's face is frozen red, hurry up and carry him back into the carriage."

Knowing that Song Ke was helping her smooth things over, Zheng Jingxian said, "I spoke out of turn, I spoke out of turn; it was my misstatement. Elder cousin-in-law, please don't laugh at me."

Lin Jinlou merely offered a faint smile and said to Xianglan, "Step aside for a moment, I have a few words to discuss privately with Brother Yifei."

Finding it awkward to linger, Zheng Jingxian carried the child and prepared to return to the carriage. Xianglan followed behind her, and Zheng Jingxian asked, "What are you following me for?"

Xianglan replied, "Isn't Mother Song also in the carriage? I haven't seen her for a long time, and both by sentiment and reason, I ought to go pay my respects."

Zheng Jingxian bit her lip, hugged the child, and turned away. After boarding the carriage, she lifted a slit of the curtain to watch. Xianglan had indeed entered the Song family's carriage, and after a short while, it was actually Song Ke's own mother who personally escorted her out. The two women held hands tightly as Mother Song continuously wiped away tears, and after Xianglan offered a bit more comfort, they finally bid each other farewell.

Meanwhile, Lin Jinlou ordered someone to heat a cup of warm wine for Song Ke. Lowering his head to stroke his hand warmer, he lifted his gaze, and the two men stared at each other for a moment before Song Ke smiled faintly, "I wonder what words General Lin has to say to me."

Lin Jinlou curved the corner of his mouth and said, "No need for those pedantic, impoverished polite formalities. You and I know very well in our hearts: you don't like seeing me, and I'm hardly thrilled to see you either."

Song Ke raised an eyebrow and said, "Then why is General Lin here today..."

"It's all because of that stubborn girl Xianglan, who kept remembering that you were her benefactor. If I hadn't come, I feared she would never find peace in her heart for the rest of her life. As I said just now, her benefactor is my benefactor; if she wants to repay your kindness, I will accompany her in doing so."

Song Ke was taken aback, smiled, and lowered his head.

Lin Jinlou said in a deep voice, "Besides, I truly ought to say thank you to you. If you hadn't saved her back then, who knows where Zhao Yuechan might have sold her." He pulled a letter from his bosom, handed it forward, and said, "Take this."

Song Ke raised his eyes: "This is..."

Lin Jinlou said, "General Yang, who is stationed in Guizhou, is an old acquaintance of mine and grants me a bit of face. Take this letter to find him; he is a righteous man and will look after you somewhat. Guizhou has many wandering bandits nowadays, and with a general looking out for you, you'll still be able to manage your position as a county magistrate. Furthermore, I will dispatch several guards to escort you all the way. Don't go acting like some stiff-necked, destitute scholar shouting that you won't accept food handed out in contempt—your mother, wife, and child are all traveling with you. The journey ahead is long and arduous, and you know well enough in your heart: if you insist on your pride..."

"Many thanks, General Lin." Before Lin Jinlou could finish speaking, Song Ke took the letter into his hands, cupped his fists, and said, "I accept General Lin's kind intentions and will certainly not let you down."

Lin Jinlou narrowed his eyes, waved a hand with a smile, and sighed, "Fine, you have more backbone than I imagined."

Song Ke still maintained a faint smile on his face as he looked down at the letter. The smile gradually faded, turning into a bitter wry smile, and he spoke softly, "I earnestly hope you will cherish her and treat her well."

Lin Jinlou was stunned, waved his hand impatiently, and said, "This lord likes her to the marrow."

Song Ke looked up and said, "That is different. Liking is merely playing with something in one's spare time; love is a treasure stored deep within the heart."

Lin Jinlou fell silent, narrowing his eyes slightly as he watched him. Song Ke turned his face to the side, gazing at a distant green pine, and said, "She is so self-respecting and proud; she would never consent to be a concubine. No matter how deeply reluctant I felt in my heart, I had no choice but to let her leave, because only then could she be happy. She is so wonderful, and she has suffered so much. I implore the General not to possess her merely out of a fondness for her beauty, but also to be willing to give your all for her out of a love for her character... and to let her find happiness."

Lin Jinlou made no reply. He looked up at the drifting clouds on the horizon and suddenly spoke, "Song Yifei, your flaw lies in the fact that you turn soft-hearted when you ought to be ruthless, yet remain entangled and hesitant when you ought to be flexible. Once you've chosen a path, you trip over the obstacles in your own heart. The moment you become decisive is the moment you will accomplish something great."

With these words spoken, both men had nothing more to say. Matters having reached this point, Song Ke took his leave. On his way back, he happened to cross paths with Xianglan. Song Ke paused, his throat tightening as he cupped his fists in a salute. After a long silence, he finally spoke in a low voice, "How are you?"

Xianglan gently replied, "I am doing very well." Pausing for a moment, she added, "The road to Guizhou is long, you must take good care of yourself."

The two fell into a silent stillness, broken only by the whistling wind. Song Ke suddenly spoke, "After I report for duty in Guizhou, I will surely be diligent and become a good official."

Xianglan looked at him in surprise, nodded with a faint smile, and said, "Having lived two lifetimes and studied the books of sages diligently, your purpose was always to put your learning for governing the world into practice. You will surely be a good official."

Song Ke shook his head, "No, I am not." He sighed deeply, "My studying was merely to bring honor to our lineage, revitalize the family enterprise, and attain official glory and wealth—I did it for fame and fortune. That was why, when adversity struck back then, I became impatient for quick success, reaching high for status while flattering myself for being clever, believing that one day everything would go according to my wishes. Yet the whims of fortune toyed with me instead, bringing me repeated and agonizing suffering. Though I hated Lin Jinlou, I am inferior to him; he has risked his life on the battlefields to protect the country, while what have I ever done all these years? Before submitting the memorial for Guizhou, I pondered deeply: I no longer ask for fame, seeking only to accomplish a few practical deeds for the people, even if I must spend the rest of my days in a remote borderland. As long as my conscience is clear looking up to heaven and down to earth, worthy of the sages' teachings I pored over by my window, and worthy of the trials and hardships I endured across two lifetimes, then my heart will be at peace."

A shock ran through Xianglan's heart. She gathered her skirts and bowed deeply in a formal salute, saying, "For these words alone, I ought to offer you a respectful kowtow."

Song Ke smiled bitterly, gazing fixedly at Xianglan, "It's just a pity I understood this truth far too late, or else I wouldn't have ended up like this with you back then..."

Xianglan shook her head and said, "Both of our lives have experienced massive ups and downs. Sometimes I, too, do not understand why fortune plays tricks on us, or why Heaven treats me this way. How wonderful it would be if life were carefree and untroubled. Yet without undergoing the polishing to shed all worldly vanity, one cannot view the world with humility and harmony. To live a human life is not to have every wish fulfill your heart's desire; some things you dislike, yet you must still do them, and some people you cherish, yet you are forced to part ways. Partings and reunions are fickle, and the world is turbulent; when you lack the power to change things, you must learn to endure. Originally, I disliked the word 'endurance,' but now I realize that enduring brings true gold. Endure past the dark night and there is dawn; endure past the bitter winter and there is early spring. The hardships that one once thought would be impossible to survive, when recalled later, no longer stir a ripple." She looked at Song Ke and said softly, "Let it go."

A tremor ran through Song Ke's heart as tears welled up. He tried his utmost to hold them back, but Xianglan had already blurred into a hazy shadow in his eyes.

Sitting inside the carriage, Zheng Jingxian let out a deep sigh. She was not a petty person, but how could she manage to be magnanimous toward the lingering favorite in her husband's heart? Chen Xianglan was a thorn wedged across her heart, making her restless day in and day out—especially seeing how Song Ke treated her with lukewarm politeness, entirely lacking the tender, affectionate gaze he used to bestow upon Xianglan. Ever since Song Tanchai entered the palace, Song Ke had grown even colder toward her. Unable to help herself, she would quarrel and make scenes, yet the two of them had gradually become like strangers. Now that her maiden family, which used to back her up, had fallen into ruin, she lived in mortal terror that Song Ke might abandon her. How could she possibly tolerate this? She had poured such deep affection into him, and he was now her sole remaining graspable reliance and warmth. Seeing her husband gaze intently at that woman, she could endure no longer. Lifting the curtain, she tumbled out—almost tripping as she stepped down from the carriage—and cried out, "Husband!"

The cry was piercing and sorrowful. Startled, Song Ke whipped his head around to see Zheng Jingxian running toward him in a stumbling dash.

Xianglan smiled, offered one final salute to Song Ke, and said, "The mountains are high and the waters are long, take good care of yourself." With a graceful motion, she turned and left.

Song Ke stepped forward to steady Zheng Jingxian, but when he turned his head back, he caught sight only of Xianglan's slender retreating figure. Lowering his head, he said, "Let's go back, it's time to set off." He glanced back one last time, only to find that Xianglan had already walked back to Lin Jinlou's side.

Returning to the carriage, Song Ke looked at Zheng Jingxian's anxious, flustered expression, and a sudden wave of melancholy welled up in his chest. He let out a long breath—indeed, it was time to let go. He reached out to place his hand over Zheng Jingxian's, clasping it tightly as he said, "You needn't let your imagination run wild. You are my wife; I will never abandon you, and the two of us are going to live a long life together." A weight lifted from Zheng Jingxian's heart, but she could not help letting out a soft sob, burying her face in Song Ke's shoulder with her face bathed in tears.

Standing behind Lin Jinlou, Xianglan watched the Song family's carriage creak and rattle away along the main road. Only then did the tears she had desperately held back finally begin to drop, one by one. Song Ke—her husband from a past life, a passerby in this one, and a frequent guest in her tender memories. Yet a guest was, after all, a guest and could not stay forever. Song Ke... sending off a guest (song ke). With this parting just now, amidst floating clouds, white suns, bright moons, and distant horizons, she had ultimately seen this guest off.