Against the Current - Chapter 306

Chapter 306 - Ferocious (Part 6)

By this time, it was already broad daylight, though the sky remained overcast and the howling wind had gradually died down.

Lin Jinlou lay fast asleep and unresponsive, while Zhao Yuechan also remained quiet and still, save for an occasional cough that slipped from her lips.

Xianglan wrapped her cloak even tighter around herself, dozing off in a half-asleep, half-awake daze, when she was suddenly jolted awake by the sound of shouting and fighting echoing from not far away. Snapping to attention, she frantically looked around in all directions. At the foot of the mountain, imperial soldiers were locked in a fierce skirmish; one faction fought as they retreated, drawing closer and closer to the reed bed, while the other faction pressed the pursuit relentlessly. Unable to tell whether the approaching fighters were friend or foe, Xianglan felt a chill grip her heart. She could only grip her crossbow tightly as she stood guard by Lin Jinlou's side.

Terror washed over Zhao Yuechan's face, and her entire body trembled violently as she scrambled desperately backward, trying to conceal her figure deep within the thick stalks of the reeds.

Swoosh, swoosh!

A stray volley of feathered arrows flew toward them, though deflected by the wind, they landed wide and plunged into the reeds. Startled, Xianglan instinctively dropped flat to the ground, only to hear a sharp scream behind her followed immediately by a heavy splash—it sounded as though Zhao Yuechan had fallen into the water.

Fortunately, the combatants on both sides were too fiercely engaged in battle to notice the commotion over by their patch.

Xianglan could only hear the sound of frantic splashing coming from the water, punctuated by faint, broken cries for "help." She scrambled to her feet and rushed over. The surface of the river was already crusted with ice, but the banks had not frozen solidly. Zhao Yuechan had broken through the thin ice and plunged straight into the freezing water, managing only to grab hold of a clump of reeds on the bank with her right hand. Her face was the color of beaten gold and her lips completely devoid of color, yet no matter how hard she struggled, she could not haul herself out. As she thrashed desperately, a spreading bloom of red began to seep through the dark river water.

Catching sight of Xianglan, Zhao Yuechan's face flooded with intense terror and pleading. Trembling through pale lips, she cried, "Help... save me... I beg you..."

Without hesitation, Xianglan lunged forward, grabbed Zhao Yuechan by the wrist, and hauled with all her might toward the bank. Already freezing, starved, and drained of energy, she had precious little strength left, but she gritted her teeth and poured every remaining ounce of her power into dragging the woman ashore. She wedged her arms under Zhao Yuechan's and dragged her a safe distance further back before finally collapsing in sheer exhaustion, lying flat on her back beneath the open sky and gasping for breath.

Zhao Yuechan’s face was deathly pale, tinged with a sickly ashen hue, and she too panted heavily. With her clothes drenched through, the biting winter wind whipped across her, causing her entire body to curl inward in a constant, shivering tremor. Her left arm had been gouged by an arrow, and blood continued to ooze from the wound unchecked.

Mustering her remaining strength, Xianglan crawled over to strip Zhao Yuechan of her wet garments, pulling them off with great difficulty. Since there were no dry clothes left to change into, she unfastened her own cloak to wrap securely around Zhao Yuechan's shivering frame, then sprinkled medicinal powder over the other woman's wound to stem the bleeding.

Utterly spent, both women collapsed flat onto the frozen earth side by side, the sounds of battle fading into a dull, distant murmur in their ears.

After a long while, Zhao Yuechan struggled to prop herself up and rasped out a forced acknowledgment to Xianglan, "Th—thank you... thank you for saving me..."

Xianglan turned her head to cast a glance at Zhao Yuechan before gazing back up at the sky, replying, "You don't need to thank me. It’s simply that my conscience wouldn't allow me to stand by. Besides, despicable as you've been, your grandfather spent his entire life valuing righteousness over wealth and caring for the suffering of others; because of his upright speech, he met with a tragic fate. I have always held him in deep respect, and saving you was largely out of regard for his memory."

Zhao Yuechan panted without answering, breaking into a fit of coughing before shivering out the words, "You... someone born a lowly maid and servant... yet you still... put on those high-minded airs of a penniless scholar..."

Xianglan turned her head to look at her and asked, "Do you truly believe that living your life as a grand mistress makes you so noble? In your next reincarnation, you might not even measure up to someone like me."

The two women locked eyes for a moment before Zhao Yuechan suddenly let out a laugh that was uglier than crying. "The next reincarnation? Pah, we're going to die together right here in this life..."

Xianglan let out a sigh. In her wildest dreams, she never could have imagined that she and Zhao Yuechan would find themselves sitting in such silent confrontation at the absolute end of their ropes. It seemed that the root of all her turbulence and hardship had originated with this very person. She had entered the household precisely because she refused to resign herself to a lifetime of servitude as a slave. Afterward, she had earned Zhao Yuechan's hatred, turning into a maid who was constantly picked on, squeezed out, and plotted against. Then had come Lin Jinlou's tyrannical compulsion, Zhao Yuechan's bitter resentment and physical beatings, the near-catastrophe of being sold off into a brothel pit, her father's imprisonment, and her own complete lack of agency. All of these trials within the Lin household had made these past few years feel as long as an entire lifetime. Yet looking back now, it all felt like an ephemeral, dreamlike illusion.

During the days when she was bullied and tormented by Zhao Yuechan, she had imagined countless ways to extract a brutal revenge. But now, she no longer had any appetite for those old grudges. Having survived by a hair's breadth through a night of near-death, she lacked the energy to hate anyone anymore; she simply wanted to stay alive.

Before long, the sounds of shouting gradually died away. Xianglan peered out cautiously and saw a group of men pursuing a routed faction back along the very path toward the small grove they had traveled the previous night. Only then did she let out a sigh of relief. By now the sun had finally broken through, and with the wind completely still, it felt somewhat warmer than before.

Zhao Yuechan, who had been shivering uncontrollably just moments earlier, had now gone deathly cold and stiff—a deeply ominous sign. Xianglan dragged her closer to Lin Jinlou's side, pulling a portion of the blanket that covered him over Zhao Yuechan as well. Inspecting Zhao Yuechan's face, which still retained the stunning beauty of a peach blossom now stained with a withered, grayish pallor, Xianglan sighed softly and asked, "How is it that you ended up here last night?"

"Pah! How else?" Hearing the question, Zhao Yuechan fluttered her eyes open, her ashen face suddenly surging with a venomous malice that lent her more color than her dying state warranted. "That smooth-talking scoundrel Dai Qing ingratiated himself with my grandfather and even married me. Originally, he treated me like a living goddess, worshiping me at every turn. But the moment my grandfather died, he became a completely different person, treating me like dirt and looking at me with sheer disgust. Luckily, the personal page boy who attended him was my secret lover..."

Xianglan could only stare in stunned disbelief. Zhao Yuechan glanced sidelong at Xianglan and sneered, "Stop staring at me like that, damn it. Men have three wives and four concubines, why shouldn't I? Dai Qing is an old man anyway, and he spent all his days whoring around and making a spectacle of himself outside—why shouldn't I look for a young, handsome fellow to amuse myself with? Hump! At first, I genuinely wanted to find someone to rely on for the rest of my life and settle down honestly, but Qian Wenze, Lin Jinlou, Dai Qing—when you count the men on your fingers, not a single one of them is any good..."

Her expression twisted with hatred as she spoke in a venomous tone, "My lover tipped me off, letting me know that that turtle’s bastard of a husband was actually plotting against my life to demonstrate his loyalty to the Second Prince. That damnable, low-born swine! Even if I turn into a ghost, my lingering spirit won't let him off!" After pausing to catch her breath through her bitter curses, she continued, "That son of a bitch from the Dai family played dirty, so I played foul back. I sent someone to contact my eldest brother, planning to have my family help me loot the Dai household's valuables last night and flee under cover of darkness to find my parents back in Jinling. With grandfather dead, the Zhao family was bound to collapse like a tree falling with its monkeys scattering anyway; at worst, we could hide our names somewhere, and the gold and silver would be more than enough to live in luxurious comfort for several lifetimes. But who could have guessed the news leaked out? Last night, Dai Rong sent men in pursuit, slaughtering my brother's entire family. Serves the bastard right! He didn't come to a good end either—he got wounded, collapsed on the ground, and took a sword straight through the heart, hahahaha! And your group slaughtered his cousin too, hahahaha! It's satisfying! Utterly satisfying!"

As Zhao Yuechan spoke, she broke into a wild laugh touched with fierce glee, interspersed with venomous curses, until her stamina finally gave out. A fit of violent coughing left her breathing dangerously shallow. Xianglan no longer wished to listen, and silently pulled the blanket a bit higher over Zhao Yuechan. Turning her attention back to Lin Jinlou, she found his skin burning with fever while he remained deep in unconsciousness.

Zhao Yuechan rasped weakly, "I feel awful all over... am I going to die..." The energy she had spent on her previous outburst seemed to have drained the very last drop of vitality from her body. She looked as though she had aged a dozen years in a single instant, resembling a flower that had bloomed past its season—its color still lingering, but withered, parched, and on the verge of shedding its petals.

Xianglan shook her head and asked quietly, "Was all of this... truly worth it?"

Zhao Yuechan murmured softly, "What's not worth it?"

Without looking at her, Xianglan clasped her knees to her chest, stared up at the swaying reeds dancing against the sky above, and spoke. "In this life, making mistakes isn't what's truly terrifying—who hasn't made mistakes? While mistakes come in all sizes, as long as they haven't literally torn the heavens apart and you can still salvage the situation, there's always room for redemption. You can start over and change your ways. What's truly frightening is giving up on yourself and sinking all the way down into error. You held onto hatred and grievances within your heart, so you acted recklessly and unrestrainedly, believing that this was revenge, that it would bring you satisfaction. But did it truly bring you satisfaction? Look at yourself now—is your heart genuinely satisfied?"

"I wanted nothing more than to live a peaceful life, but did any of them ever let me have peace? I..."

"When it all comes down to it, you simply refused to endure. When you did wrong, you refused to shoulder the consequences; you neither wanted to bear the burden nor change your ways, and you certainly couldn't stomach the bitter fruit. By acting out, every single step you took was wrong, leading you deeper into disaster. Just think about it: throughout your life, you acted willfully and used ruthless methods, wronging how many people along the way?"

Zhao Yuechan closed her eyes and replied coldly, "And how many people have you wronged?"

Xianglan tucked the fox-fur coat tighter around her shoulders. She rarely poured her innermost thoughts out to anyone, but right now, she felt an overwhelming urge to speak. "Looking back on my life, the two people I wronged the most are, first, Song柯, who showed me immense kindness. Now that he has fallen on hard times, I am unable to help him. Failing to repay that kindness leaves my heart forever unsettled. The second is Fangsi... Fangsi was originally the personal maid who waited upon Song柯, and she harbored deep feelings for him. Because Song柯 and I shared a mutual affection, the two of us were naturally at loggerheads like fire and water. Back then, I still had sharp edges to my temper and clashed with her repeatedly. Out of bitterness and temporary foolishness, she made a grave mistake. Because of me—and because he was exasperated by her constant scheming—Song柯 intended to cast her out, driving her to end her own life with a length of white silk. When her mother spoke ill of me before the Song family matron, I wanted to prove that the woman had malicious intentions from the start, so I publicly exposed her for stealing valuables from the master's household. To my surprise, it backfired completely, making the Song family matron even more displeased with me. Looking back now, my conduct back then was harsh and cold-blooded, completely disregarding other people's dignity. In truth, some things are better seen through without being spoken aloud; if I had handled matters with a little tact and flexibility, an innocent life wouldn't have been needlessly snuffed out. Originally, I felt I had done nothing wrong—tit for tat, returning your hatred in kind was entirely justified. But later, when I re-entered the Lin household and stumbled through adversity, finding myself trapped in circumstances much like Fangsi's, I finally understood. Preserving someone's dignity and saving face for them is its own form of noble character. Looking back now, I truly regret it."

Zhao Yuechan gave a cold, dry chuckle. "Oh? Such saintly benevolence is enough to make my skin crawl; perhaps I really ought to address you as 'Guanyin Bodhisattva'... Let me tell you, even with your boundless charity, you'll never come to a good end yourself!" Opening her eyes, she gave a thin, mocking smile. "Chances are you won't be able to bear children in this future life of yours, am I right?"

Xianglan froze, turning her gaze toward Zhao Yuechan.

Zhao Yuechan said, "Tsk tsk, didn't you know? That scoundrel Dai Rong hooked up with Tan Shi, the Second Young Mistress of the Lin family. That child-destroying drug was what I had Dai Rong hand over for Tan Shi to administer. As for how the Jiang sisters got dragged into it later, I have no idea, but that poison definitely originated from me." Her eyes flickered with a hidden, cruel glint, and her smile carried a trace of triumph. "Well? Guanyin Bodhisattva, do you regret saving me now? I'm not going to live much longer anyway, so I couldn't care less what you do to me, but I despise hypocrites like you the most!"

Xianglan stared at Zhao Yuechan for a long time, shook her head, paused, shook it again, and said softly, "I don't regret saving you. If I had to live it over again, I would still save you. I truly pity you, because you are selfish and devoid of love. You take it as a given that the world is filled with endless scheming and hostility, and since you cannot accept that someone could save and help you by returning kindness for enmity, you have to stubbornly insist that it's all hypocrisy, convincing yourself that anyone who does such things will come to a bad end. The truth is, this human world naturally contains both beauty and ugliness. It is precisely because there is so much ugliness that beauty becomes all the more pure and precious. Some people are willing to forsake what the world cares about just to preserve that beauty, even if it demands a massive sacrifice or causes others to call it worthless... I have always believed it was worth it."

Zhao Yuechan was taken aback. A faint, cold smile crossed her face, and she said no more.

Xianglan checked on Lin Jinlou's condition again, reapplying ointment to his chest while calculating that if he still hadn't woken up by midday, she would have to shake him awake and force him to eat something. She also grew anxious, wondering if the fighting had finally ended and whether she ought to venture out to seek help.

Turning her attention back to Zhao Yuechan, she discovered that the woman had passed out entirely. When Xianglan applied medicinal powder to her wounds, Zhao Yuechan let out a couple of groans and regained consciousness. Xianglan sighed; Zhao Yuechan was a delicate noble lady raised in the seclusion of an inner courtyard—how could she possibly endure such unimaginable hardships? Having suffered physical abuse, severe injuries, a plunge into a freezing river, and a lack of food and clothing, she wasn't even shivering anymore; her body had gone rigid with cold, and it was clear she was nearing the end.

Xianglan urged, "Hold on just a little longer. Wait just a bit more, and if there are no more soldiers around, I'll go out and find someone to rescue us."

Zhao Yuechan shook her head. Her gaze was unfocused as she looked toward Lin Jinlou, then suddenly let out a mocking, ironic laugh. "He... I'm afraid he won't make it either, huh? I once poured my whole heart out in infatuation toward him, and afterward... who could have imagined, who could have possibly imagined that we would end up dying together here... With him accompanying me down to the Yellow Springs, I suppose I haven't gotten the worst of it after all!"

Xianglan remained silent.

Zhao Yuechan suddenly spoke up, "You—pull the hairpin out of my hair." Xianglan reached up and removed it, revealing a hairpin crafted of gold threads clustered with pearls—the pearls were exceptionally large and possessed a brilliant luster. Zhao Yuechan said, "This hairpin is worth at least three hundred taels. When you get rescued, use it to settle my final affairs: buy a thin wooden coffin, pick a spot to bury me, and burn a bit of paper money so I have a destination after death... I don't want to become a wandering orphan ghost... Keep whatever silver is left over for yourself."

Xianglan smiled bitterly. "Very well. If I survive, I will surely see to your burial."

Zhao Yuechan nodded and closed her eyes, but suddenly snapped them open again. Her gaze was scattered, and a single tear welled up in the corner of her eye as she cried out, "I don't want to die! I don't want to die!" A sudden flush of vitality bloomed across her face, making her look brighter and more energetic than before. Xianglan knew instantly that this was the final, deceptive surge of clarity before death.

Squinting her eyes to fixate on Xianglan, Zhao Yuechan muttered repeatedly, "I don't want to die..."

Xianglan gently touched her forehead, gazing down at her with profound pity.

Tears rolled down Zhao Yuechan's face in an unbroken stream. "I refused to believe it before, but now this lady truly believes it—you really are a foolish, blockheaded good person..." She let out a few chuckles. "You've saved my life four times. Now that I'm dying, I'm going to give you a grand gift in return. If you're lucky enough to survive, with this single thing, I warrant that the entire Lin family will bow their heads in submission to you." As she spoke, she reached out, clutching her already drenched bodice in her hand, and smiled with an eerie, unsettling expression. "The grand gift is right here."

Xianglan took the bodice from her, staring at Zhao Yuechan in complete bewilderment.

Zhao Yuechan suddenly grabbed Xianglan's hand and, mustering every last scrap of her failing strength, wailed aloud, "I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Everything before... was entirely my own undoing!" After letting out several ragged sobs, her voice abruptly cut off. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open, and before she could draw another breath, her head lolled heavily to the side as she breathed her last, a single tear still hanging upon her cheek.