Against the Current - Chapter 283

Chapter 283 - Mother and Son

Lin Jinlou ground his teeth and said, "Isn't it miserable to be hungover? Serves you right!" With that, he rose, flicked his sleeves, and strode off. After taking only two steps, hearing Xianglan retching toward the spittoon, he couldn't help turning back to take a look. Turning his head, he shouted to Lingsu and the others standing at the door, "Hurry up and bring in the emetic soup! Shuran! Go see where Imperial Physician Zhang has gotten to, and have him come over! Immediately!" The maidservants answered in a flurry and crowded around. After barking his orders, Lin Jinlou sat down angrily in a chair, fuming with vexation. From time to time, he would rise to glance over at Xianglan, then sit back down, his face as dark as the bottom of an iron pot.

After vomiting a few times, Xianglan felt somewhat more comfortable in her body, and her wits cleared up as well, though her head still felt as though it were splitting apart. After rinsing her mouth and changing into a fresh set of clothes, she styled her hair into a simple single bun. Before long, Imperial Physician Zhang arrived, panting heavily. After taking her pulse, he said to Lin Jinlou, "The Yi-niang of the manor has consumed too much wine. I shall prescribe a decoction for her to take over two or three days, and for these next couple of days, her diet should be kept light." Seeing Lin Jinlou's stern face, the physician forced a smile and added, "Having just examined her pulse, the Yi-niang's constitution is somewhat improved compared to before. If the humble old man alters her prescription and has her try it for another couple of days, perhaps there will be good news in two or three months. General Lin need not worry."

Upon hearing these words, Lin Jinlou's expression cleared slightly. He rewarded the physician with a generously stuffed red packet and escorted him out the door. Returning to the bedroom, he found the maidservants had rolled up the bed curtains, and Xianglan was half-leaning against the head of the bed in a daze. Lin Jinlou walked over to check her complexion, seeing only a pale face with eyes red and swollen. He asked, "Are you feeling more comfortable? Have you sobered up?"

Xianglan glanced at him without uttering a word. Her head spun with dizziness, and nausea continuously churned within her. Now that the intoxication had passed and her mind was clear enough to face her grim reality, her heart sank deeper and deeper with each passing moment. Granduncle Lin resided far away in Jinling, Lin Zhangzheng was stationed away in Shanxi, and Madam Qin had no real authority over Lin Jinlou. Within the entire Lin household, only Lin Jinlou's word was law. Jiang Xiyun appeared sweet and innocent, but was in truth shrewd and formidable. Trapped deeply within this courtyard, with a pair of powerless parents, she truly had nowhere to turn and no retreat left open to her. Thinking once again of her younger sister, Xianglan felt an even more piercing sorrow. Jiaolian had been sharper and more quick-witted than her since childhood, yet she had never expected her to die in such a tragic and violent manner. She asked herself that if she were in her sister's place, she probably would have bitten through her teeth and continued to endure. Over these past few years, she had endured far too much, to the point where she could no longer feel the sting of grievance. Consumed by anxiety, despair, and an utterly darkened future, she groaned in continuous torment amidst the muddy path she walked. Every single concession she made was met with an even greater wave crashing down against her. She was terrified—terrified of ending up like her sister, and even more terrified that such a life would never reach an end. She let out a long, drawn-out sigh and turned her head to look at the orchids resting on the crabapple wood stand.

Lin Jinlou remained silent for a long while before letting out a breath and saying, "You get some rest. I'll have a maid go inform Madam so that you can go pay your respects to her tomorrow." With that, he rose and walked out.

The room remained quiet and still. Xianglan closed her eyes and leaned back against the bolster for a moment. Then, hearing footsteps, she realized Lin Jinlou had returned. He reached out to feel her forehead. Xianglan slowly opened her eyes to see Lin Jinlou sitting by the edge of the bed. Outside the window, the rain had not yet ceased, and a single lamp burned inside, casting its candlelight upon his face and highlighting his striking, chiseled features.

Lin Jinlou touched her face once more, gently brushing the stray locks of hair behind her ear, and asked softly, "Does your head still hurt? Do you feel like vomiting? Would you like some water?"

Had Lin Jinlou met her with stern glares and fierce reprimands, it might have made her feel better inside. Yet because he spoke so softly and gently, Xianglan's tears suddenly burst forth and streamed down her face. Lin Jinlou reached out to wipe away her tears, lowering his voice as he said, "Keep crying and you'll blind yourself."

Xianglan covered her face and choked back her sobs. Lin Jinlou pulled her up into his arms and patted her back. Xianglan buried her face in Lin Jinlou's shoulder, weeping uncontrollably. Lin Jinlou stroked her back, leaned his head close to her ear, and murmured, "I know you were wronged at the poetry gathering today, and I am well aware of it in my heart. But no matter how aggrieved you felt, you shouldn't have gotten drunk. You have no tolerance for alcohol anyway—aren't you just punishing your own body? I've been building up your standing out front, but you can't turn around and undermine your own dignity like that. Besides, Old Yuan is an outsider; you shouldn't be meeting with him in private. Even with De'er and the maidservants present, if word got out, people would still gossip." Seeing that Xianglan's crying had quieted somewhat, he pushed her back slightly and couldn't help asking, "What on earth were you saying to Old Yuan?"

Xianglan kept her head lowered, wiped away her tears with her sleeve, and replied quietly, "I asked how De'er's biological mother passed away. Her fate was so pitiful, and I am afraid that I too... might end up just like her one day."

Lin Jinlou frowned. "Like her in what way?"

"She was driven to her death by the Marquis and his legal wife." Xianglan raised her head, her deep, pool-like eyes fixing a steady gaze upon Lin Jinlou. Her expression was exceptionally calm, yet her eyes were filled with an unsurpassable desolation and bewilderment.

Lin Jinlou's heart gave a jolt. As he looked at Xianglan, the expression on his face gradually turned cold and stern.

Feeling profoundly unwell, Xianglan had thrown those words out recklessly, and even as she spoke, she felt a faint ripple of regret, mingled with an indescribable sense of catharsis. Daring not look at Lin Jinlou's expression any longer, she simply closed her eyes and leaned back against the bedpost.

At that moment, Chunling's voice sounded from the doorway, announcing, "Reporting to the Eldest Master, Madam has arrived."

With her eyes still closed, Xianglan knew that Lin Jinlou sat in silence for a long moment before finally rising and walking out. Only then did Xianglan let out a long breath. Having wept yet again, her head throbbed as if pierced by needles, and simply unable to struggle any longer, she collapsed onto the bed with a low groan.

Out in the main hall, Madam Qin was seated in a chair sipping tea, while Lin Jinlou sat in the chair to her lower left. Madam Qin stared at him, looking him up and down several times. Seeing his gloomy expression, she asked, "What is the matter with you? Pulling a face like that for whom to see?"

Lin Jinlou picked up a Chen kiln multicolored small lidded cup, took a sip of tea, and nodded in evasion as he replied, "Nothing. Just tired from entertaining guests earlier."

Seeing the fatigue written on her eldest son's face, Madam Qin couldn't help feeling a pang of heartache. "You've just returned from accompanying the Emperor; you should rest properly for a couple of days and skip seeing unnecessary relatives and friends! Otherwise, you'll make yourself sick from exhaustion. Besides, the Jiang family's eldest son set off for the capital half a month ago and should be arriving these past couple of days. I'm afraid once they arrive, you won't have a moment of peace again."

Lin Jinlou's mind was entirely occupied by matters concerning Xianglan. Hearing his mother bring up the Jiang family, his impatience flared up even more. He waved his hand dismissively and said, "Alright, alright, I know."

With a sharp snap, Madam Qin slammed her teacup down onto the table and scolded angrily, "Who do you think you're talking to right now? Are you starting to lose your temper with me? I don't interfere with how many minor concubines you take or whom you choose to favor, but the Jiang family was selected by Grandfather and your father! Since we are to become in-laws, we must afford them proper respect! You have elevated Chen Xianglan time and time again—how can the Jiang family not be angry? The Jiang matriarch is currently so enraged that she's bedridden; what will we do if something actually happens to her? I have to step in and smooth things over on your behalf. Is this how you show filial piety to your parents?"

Lin Jinlou knitted his brows. "If the Jiang family isn't happy about it, then we simply won't go through with this match."

Madam Qin arched her willow-leaf brows. "What kind of nonsense are you saying!" Seeing Lin Jinlou's furrowed brows and equally troubled expression, she knew her eldest son possessed a volatile temper, and that sharp words and a stern countenance on her part would yield no results. Suppressing her anger, she sighed, "I have such a wretched fate. I can't rely on your father, your younger brother is still a complete child, and my eldest son adds to my frustration and angers me from morning till night. If I say a single word that doesn't sit right, he even dares to pull a long face at me. Such a pitiful life I lead... Everyone my age is surrounded by children and grandchildren, with daughters-in-law attending to them and performing filial duties by their side, yet here I am, an old bone, still having to manage this and take care of that, with not a single person to give me peace of mind..." Her eye rims reddened as she raised her handkerchief to wipe away her tears.

Seeing his mother shed tears, Lin Jinlou hurriedly forced down the boiling irritation in his chest, managed a reluctant smile, and coaxed, "Good Madam, my dear mother, forgive me this once! I truly was exhausted today, and on top of that, I drank too much of that harsh liquor, leaving my head completely muddled. I don't even remember what nonsense I was spouting earlier. You are magnanimous, so please don't hold it against me. Besides, I am your own biological son—no matter who you get angry with, you certainly can't stay angry with me, right?"

Madam Qin's heart was already stirred by her own grievances, and hearing Lin Jinlou speak thusly, her lingering resentment dissipated. She raised her head, spat lightly onto the floor, and said, "Knowing I'm your biological son is all the more reason you shouldn't anger me."

Lin Jinlou replied, "I didn't mean to make you angry." As he spoke, he stepped closer, took the handkerchief from Madam Qin's hand, and gently wiped his mother's tears.

Madam Qin snatched the handkerchief back, glared at her eldest son, dabbed at the corners of her eyes, and continued, "Why is your head muddled? If you're feeling unwell, hurry up and drink a bowl of sweet-osmanthus sobering soup. Come here, let me look at you. You've been out there all this time—you've suffered, haven't you? With your grandfather and your father both away from the capital, you are the pillar of the household. If something were to happen to you, who would we have to depend on?"

Lin Jinlou allowed Madam Qin to hold his hand and inspect him up and down. With a sympathetic ache in her heart, she sighed, "You really have lost weight."

Rolling his eyes, Lin Jinlou said, "Mother, your eyes are playing tricks on you. I've always looked like this; I haven't lost weight anywhere."

"Who says so? Eating poorly and sleeping badly in the Emperor's presence, constantly walking on thin pins and needles—how could you possibly be comfortable?" Madam Qin sighed as she spoke. "It's simply because you don't have a proper, reliable person in your quarters to take care of you. No matter how good Chen Xianglan is, she isn't a legitimate, officially wedded wife. Listen to mother's advice—as the old saying goes, 'A generation without a good wife leads to ten generations without good sons.' Your previous marriage was a mistake, and now I can no longer let you run wild according to your whims! Just look at how much you've pampered Chen Xianglan—you could only tolerate her if you married a puppet made of dough. With her timid and shrinking disposition, how will you ever take her out in public in the future? Could someone of her background possibly hold down such a massive household? She would only bring disgrace to the family and give me more things to worry about. Even if Jiang Xiyun has her faults, she is still among the absolute finest of young maidens. Where in this world can you find perfection where everything shines from all ten directions? After picking and choosing, she is still far more outstanding than other girls. Your father mentioned in a letter a few days ago that the Jiang family has received an imperial reprimand, but the Emperor only docked Jiang Xuecheng's salary for a year and demoted him by one rank, which shows that he still retains imperial favor. Furthermore, their family still has a promising eldest son. You understand the stakes of this relationship far better than I do."

After circling around, the conversation returned to this same topic once more. Lin Jinlou knitted his brows again. Pausing for a moment, Madam Qin said, "Mother knows Chen Xianglan is the person in your heart, and this girl is indeed truly endearing. With me here, she will not be mistreated. Once spring arrives, we will pick an auspicious day to bring her into the family with proper pomp and circumstance, and I will personally host a banquet for her. However, her status... It was fine earlier when you didn't have a wife, but now that we are on the verge of discussing marriage with the Jiang family, it is no longer appropriate for her to continue living in the main quarters. I have already promised the Jiang family that she will move out within a day or two."

Stung with immediate displeasure, Lin Jinlou demanded, "Why did you agree to the Jiang family without even consulting me first?"

Madam Qin retorted angrily, "This matter is as plain as day; what is there to consult about? Right now, we must take a step back to keep the Jiang family content."

With a rigid expression, Lin Jinlou said, "No, she cannot move."

"Why? Do you intend to enthrone her in the main quarters for the rest of her life?" Growing increasingly furious, Madam Qin stood up, took a couple of steps toward Lin Jinlou, and ground out through her teeth, "Or are you trying to elevate a concubine above your wife and literally anger me to death?"

"That's not how it is... She simply cannot move out... I won't allow it. Even if she were to move, she shouldn't be driven out in this manner." If Xianglan were forced to move out of the main quarters now, all the extraordinary favor and status he had lavished upon her would become a laughingstock. Lin Jinlou rose to his feet, intending to leave. He could no longer bear to sit here; in his mind's eye floated Xianglan's pale, delicate face, her calm yet weathered expression, her eyes brimming with unshed moisture, utterly helpless as she said to him, "I am afraid that I too... might end up just like her one day."

Madam Qin bellowed furiously, "You stop right there!" She had been strong-willed her entire life, making even Lin Zhangzheng yield to her by several points, yet she found herself completely unable to control her eldest son. Choking with suppressed rage, she cried, "What... what kind of karmic debt did I incur in my past life..."

Though boiling with annoyance, seeing that Madam Qin was enraged all over again, Lin Jinlou had no choice but to turn back and say, "You needn't worry yourself over this matter..."

"How can I not worry? From childhood to adulthood, you've always been stubborn on this front. Apart from your grandfather, is there truly no one who can keep you in line? Am I not even your biological mother anymore?"

"Yes, yes, nobody ever said you weren't." Lin Jinlou stepped forward and massaged Madam Qin's shoulders. "I have my own judgment regarding this matter. If something goes wrong, you can have Grandfather beat me—even if he uses his walking stick to beat me to death, you mustn't try to stop him."

"Pah! Nonsense!"

"Alright, just leave the affairs of my quarters alone. Even if she moves out, it won't be in these next couple of days... Tomorrow I'll invite a theater troupe to come and stage a couple of plays to clear away the boredom."

By the time Lin Jinlou managed to placate Madam Qin and leave, it was already lamp-lighting time. To humor his own mother, he had forced himself to endure her endless gossiping about various aunts and cousins, occasionally listening to her lecture him, and even accompanying her to look over embroidery sample patterns to debate which one looked best. Enduring that torture was far more exhausting for him than marching into battle. He dragged his head down as he walked back to his bedchamber. Xianglan had not yet woken and was sleeping soundly on the bed, covered by a thin lotus-patterned silk quilt. Her brows were slightly furrowed, her lips gently pouted, and her cheeks flushed with the innocent and fragile vulnerability of a child. Lin Jinlou's expression slowly softened. He gently touched Xianglan's lips, sat quietly by the edge of the bed to watch over her, and after a long while, let out a deep, lingering sigh.

Returning to her quarters, Madam Qin instructed her maidservants to bring out brush, ink, paper, and an inkstone. She spread the paper out and first dashed off a sweeping letter addressed to Lin Zhangzheng. Then, choosing her words carefully, she wrote another letter addressed to Lin Changzheng. After reading through both letters, she transcribed fresh copies of each, blew the ink dry, sealed them with wax, and called Mother Wu inside. "Take these two letters—give one to Grandfather and one to the Master. Have your two sons deliver them personally, and make sure it is handled properly." Mother Wu accepted them and couldn't help asking, "Madam, what are you..."

Madam Qin let out a sigh. "It's all because of that troublesome Lou'er. I can't keep him in check when he runs wild, so I am reporting this matter to Grandfather and the Master so they can decide how to handle it." Seeing a bowl of lotus root and taro sweet soup on the table, she ordered a portion to be sent over to Mengfang Courtyard. Remembering Lin Jinlou's mention that Xianglan had drunk too much wine and was feeling unwell, she hesitated for a moment before finally dispatching a maid to deliver a bowl to Xianglan as well.

Inside the main hall of Mengfang Courtyard, behind the carved wooden seven-treasure Buddhist screen, Ruoqing spoke in a hushed voice: "...That was precisely what Chunling said. The Lin family's Madam told Xianglan to move out of the main quarters, but the Lin family's Eldest Master stubbornly blocked it. What do you think of this, Young Miss... Are we to simply keep enduring this?"

Jiang Xiyun merely stared blankly at the flickering candlelight on the table. Seeing her pale complexion, Ruoqing dared not speak further and quietly stood aside.