Against the Current - Chapter 191

Chapter 191 - Night Talk (Part 2)

Lin Jinlou stroked her hair, thinking to himself that she had suffered a grievance today after all, and had even witnessed Luan'er attempt to take her own life with her own eyes, so fear and panic were inevitable. He resolved to look for a few fine paintings and pieces of calligraphy to give her tomorrow, along with some new clothes and jewelry. Just as he was about to speak, he saw Chunling holding a kettle and stepping gingerly inside to pour tea, so he closed his mouth. After drinking his tea and rinsing his mouth, he went to sleep alongside Xianglan, leaving the matter aside for the time being.

Chunling retreated from the bedroom and quietly glanced over at the arhat bed where she was supposed to sleep and keep night watch. Tonight, the one assigned to watch was supposed to be Nuanmo, but now only Lianxin was sitting there. Chunling walked over and topped off the cup of tea beside Lianxin. Lianxin offered a word of thanks, pursed her lips, and asked in a low voice, "How is it inside?"

Chunling also lowered her voice and replied, "It's quiet. They've gone to sleep by now; I was the one who let down the bed curtains."

Only then did Lianxin let out a sigh of relief, reciting softly, "Amitabha, let's hope those two living Buddhas sleep well tonight."

The two of them exchanged a look, both sticking out their tongues in a difficult, comical grimace before Chunling tiptoed away. She went to fetch fresh cold water, placing the kettle back onto the small stove in the outer pantry. Though the flame in this stove was weak, it could burn through the entire night, ensuring that the master inside would have hot water available at any moment. Chunling let out a breath, then lifted half a kettle of hot water from a separate stove, poured it into a bronze basin, and carried it back to her room to freshen up.

She and Xiaojuan were the ones who attended to Xianglan, so they shared a small partitioned side room. Pushing open the door, she saw Xiaojuan wrapped up in her quilt, holding a plate of pastries and cramming them into her mouth.

Seeing her eating with such relish, Chunling rolled her eyes and remarked, "Of all people in this courtyard, you're the one with the biggest heart. You can still manage to eat at a time like this."

Xiaojuan rolled her eyes right back, chewing as she retorted, "Who says I have a big heart? Just now, when First Mistress swept her gaze over us, my very liver was trembling and half my life was scared right out of me. I'm just eating a few pastries now to calm my nerves." With that, she pushed the plate toward Chunling and said, "Have a couple yourself, they're super sweet."

Chunling gave the plate a shove and replied, "I couldn't possibly eat anything." After wiping away her remaining makeup, she turned back to look at Xiaojuan, glanced at the pastries on her plate, and began, "You..." She pressed her lips together and then added, "Never mind."

Xiaojuan let out a scoff and said, "Chunling, I know what you want to ask. Isn't it just whether I really went to the back courtyard with Xianglan to look at chrysanthemums that day? Whether I did or not, from today onward, that story is the absolute truth."

As Chunling unpinned her hair bun and began combing it out, she turned around with a cold sneer and said, "You know very well where you were that day. Who knows whose fault it was—ignoring the stove early in the morning and leaving the flowers unwatered just to go running wild in the garden."

Xiaojuan also set her plate down and sneered in return, "What? You've been working yourself to the bone running over to wait on people these past few days, and now that you see Xianglan giving me pastries instead of you, are you jealous?" She hopped off the bed and continued, "I may not be as diligent as you, nor as sharp-eyed, good at serving, flattering, or ingratiating yourself. But the old folks always say that delivering charcoal in snowy weather is harder to come by than adding flowers to embroidery—that's just how things are. Xianglan and I entered the manor together; back then, she often looked after me, even doing my needlework for me and always saving a portion of whatever good food or fun things she had. Now that she's achieved success, she even recommended my second younger brother to be an apprentice at her father's pawnshop. She treats me well, so naturally I have to treat her loyally. Hearts are won by trading hearts." With that, she went off to wash her face on her own.

Chunling's face stiffened. She set her peony-carved pearwood comb down, walked over to Xiaojuan, and demanded, "What do you mean by that? Are you implying that I wasn't being sincere?"

Xiaojuan leisurely washed the facial soap from her face, patted it dry with a towel, and said, "You were sincere too, naturally, but not as sincere as I am. Your whole mind is set on climbing up high branches, and the effort you put in extends far beyond Zhichun Pavilion. You haven't exactly been slacking off at the First Mistress's place, have you? Running over there every couple of days. No wonder—you originally came out of the First Mistress's quarters, so of course your heart remains tied to your primary master."

Color rushed across Chunling's face in alternating waves of red and white. She wanted to lash out, but no words came to her.

After brushing her teeth and spitting a mouthful of water into the spitfire basin, Xiaojuan said, "The only way to keep a secret is never to have done it in the first place. Chunling, you aren't a bad person, and you've treated me reasonably well, so I'm just giving you a friendly warning. Straddling two boats is the easiest way to fall into the river. Just because we didn't say anything earlier doesn't mean we were all blind. Still, everyone has their own ambitions; if you feel following the First Mistress offers you a bright future, I've made up my mind to follow Xianglan. Her character is good, and she treats others with genuine sincerity. On that point alone, none of those masters or half-masters up and down the manor can even compare to her."

With a flushed face, Chunling retorted, "What kind of person do you take me for? It was the First Mistress who called me over to question me—could I possibly have forced my way over there myself? I never uttered a single negative word about Xianglan. I'm not a fool; if I had said anything out of turn, the young master wouldn't have spared me either."

Xiaojuan covered the remaining pastries with a gauze food cover, stripped off her outer garments, and lay flat on the kang in a sprawling starfish shape. Staring up at the ceiling, she muttered, "Sometimes I really can't figure out what goes on in your heads. Flattering this person, sucking up to that one, running every sentence through your brain three times before speaking—aren't you exhausted?"

Glares flashing from her eyes, Chunling snapped, "You think everyone is like you—stubbornly single-minded and never thinking about the future. The books of the sages all teach that 'he who has no distant concerns will soon have near troubles.'"

Xiaojuan chuckled derisively and said, "Oh my goodness, my dear older sister, do you really fancy yourself some kind of important figure? People like us—even if we break our heads striving, what can we really achieve? In the end, how much better off can one person be than another?"

Chunling climbed onto the kang as well, placed her candle on the windowsill, and remarked, "Yet for people like us, if we stop striving, we'll only get trampled even deeper into the mud. Tell me honestly, what kind of future are you hoping to scrape together for yourself?"

Shunting herself slightly to the side, Xiaojuan replied, "I don't have ambitions as grand as yours, sister. I know my own weight. As the saying goes, 'the greater the authority you hold, the greater the disasters you court.' Look at those people acting all high and mighty and glamorous—who knows, they might be hiding under their covers crying in private! I prefer a plain, ordinary life—as long as I'm happy and content, that's more than enough."

With a single puff, Chunling blew out the candle and said, "You're still too young; you don't understand how difficult the ways of the world are."

Silence settled over the room for a brief moment. Just as Chunling was drifting off to sleep, she suddenly heard Xiaojuan murmur, "I only know that everyone has their own destiny, and as long as one's conscience is clear, that's all that matters."

Those words shocked Chunling fully awake. Turning back to look, she saw that Xiaojuan's breathing had already grown steady and deep, making it abundantly clear that she was fast asleep.

Tossing and turning for half the night, Chunling finally drifted into a hazy slumber, and of that, there is no more need to speak.

The other person unable to find sleep was Madame Qin. Because the commotion had dragged on until the middle of the night and had nearly cost someone her life, Madame Qin still felt deeply unsettled upon returning to her quarters. She swallowed a calming pill to steady her mind and took out her Buddhist scriptures to chant.

Since Madame Qin was not sleeping, her maids and matrons did not dare rest either. Once Madame Qin finished a round of chanting, Mother Han stepped forward and said, "Madame, it is deep into the night; please rest now. You must rise early tomorrow."

Madame Qin set down her Buddhist scriptures, let out a breath, and said, "I can't sleep. My heart is in turmoil." Pausing for a moment, she continued, "Tell me, why must Lou'er's affairs give me so little peace of mind? First, he married a wife who looked like a vixen, and right from their wedding day they stirred up filthy scandals. He wanted to bring Furong into the house as a concubine, but no sooner was it settled than Furong vanished; then Yingge lost her child, and just as Qinglan finally managed to conceive, it ended in two lives lost. We had just driven Zhao Yuechan out and hoped we could finally have a few days of peace, only for this kind of mess to break out all over again."