Against the Current - Chapter 166

Chapter 166 - Home (Part 1)

To begin with, the next morning before dawn, Lin Jinlou went off to practice martial arts. The moment he left, Xianglan could not wait to wash, dress, and pack her belongings to return home. She opened her chests, took out the embroidered shoes she had made for Mrs. Xue, and wrapped them up carefully. She also picked out a few of the paintings she had drawn during ordinary days to bring along, in addition to two or three sets of changes of clothing. Meanwhile, Chunling had already personally prepared a trunk filled to the brim with Xianglan's usual necessities, including clothes, jewelry, stationery, and her mirror case. She also bustled about directing a little maid to pack bedding and quilts.

Flabbergasted, Xianglan quickly stopped her, saying, "I'm only staying at home for a couple of days, why make such a huge fuss? My family has plenty of bedding, and writing implements are there as well."

Chunling smiled and said, "It has always been done this way; using our own things makes it much more comfortable." Looking at the blue silk gauze jacket and moon-white skirt Xianglan was wearing, she frowned and remarked, "There are so many brightly colored clothes in the trunks, why wear just these? Dressing so plainly is like slapping the master in the face. It might end up displeasing him."

Xianglan looked down at her own attire and replied, "I was in a rush to go home this morning, so I just grabbed a couple of pieces from the chest at random."

Chunling thereupon personally selected an apricot-yellow satin jacket embroidered with split-branch magnolia flowers, paired with a tender-green interwoven gold-and-colored cotton gauze skirt, leaving Xianglan with no choice but to change. Xiaojuan then picked out several gold hairpins and pearl-and-kingfisher hair ornaments, re-styling Xianglan's hair before finally declaring it satisfactory.

Just as they finished packing in a flurry, Lin Jinlou returned. Seeing Xianglan's full attire, he gave a slight nod and ordered breakfast to be served. He ate together with Xianglan, but noticing that she seemed distracted and had only eaten a single bowl of porridge, he wiped his mouth with a towel, summoned Shuran into the room, and asked, "How are the preparations for Xianglan's trip home?"

Shuran hurriedly replied, "Everything is according to the master's wishes. When setting out, a matron will be assigned to ride in the rear carriage along with an old mother and a little maid. Mistress Xianglan will ride in the front carriage with Chunling, and there will be six outriders, all of whom are experienced hands."

Lin Jinlou said, "Very well, I'll assign two more personal guards to go along." Shuran gave his assent and left. Lin Jinlou then instructed Chunling, "Go to the kitchen and ask for a large box of pastries to take with you. Didn't you see that your young mistress barely ate anything this morning? You lack even that basic level of attentiveness."

Seeing that Lin Jinlou was in a good mood, Chunling playfully chimed in, "We are truly grateful for the master's reminder. It shows just how much the master cares for our young mistress, thinking even of a box of pastries. Our young mistress often tells me how well the master treats her." As she spoke, she gently nudged Xianglan from behind.

Xianglan originally wanted to say "thank you" to Lin Jinlou, but when she looked up and saw him gazing at her with a smile at the corners of his lips, the words stuck in her throat and she could not utter them.

Lin Jinlou reached out to take Xianglan's hand, patted it within his palm, and said with a half-smile, "Well, look at that. You actually remember my good points?"

Xianglan's face flushed slightly again. Remembering that her ability to go home this time was entirely thanks to this tyrant's grant of mercy, and that he indeed harbored genuine kindness toward her, she nodded softly and said, "I have always remembered it."

Golden morning light streamed through the intricately carved red-lacquered windows, bathing Xianglan in a golden glow. As she sat there so obediently with her head slightly lowered, her powdered cheeks and delicate beauty presenting an inexpressible picture of tranquil gentleness, he found himself momentarily captivated. Recovering his senses a short while later, he reached out to give Xianglan's cheek a light pinch and murmured in a low voice, "Who knows if you little ungrateful wolf are speaking the truth? As long as you drop that stubborn temper of yours and stop pulling a long face at me all day long, I'll take it that you remember my kindness... Very well, go home and stay for a few days, and I'll send for you to come back later."

Xianglan draped an orchid-purple cloak embroidered with split-branch plum blossoms over her shoulders and headed out with Chunling and the others.

All the way back to the Chen household, as they approached the mouth of the alley, they caught sight of a young servant stretching his neck in anticipation from afar. The moment he saw the carriages arrive, he spun around to carry the news inside. When the vehicles stopped right before the Chen family's front door, the six outriders immediately swarmed forward. Facing outward, they unfurled a large piece of black cloth, holding it aloft to seal off the entrance completely. The older women, matrons, and little maids from the rear carriage also hurried down to crowd around and form an escort. Jixiang lifted the curtain and lowered the footstool. Chunling descended first, supporting Xianglan as she stepped out from the lower rank.

This commotion had long since drawn the surrounding neighbors out to watch. Though they could not see what was happening behind the black cloth, the sheer grandeur of the two carriages was extraordinary. Moreover, seeing a soldier clad in martial uniform and wearing a side-arm standing on either side of the Chen family entrance with an imposing and majestic bearing left them all the more stunned, leading to a flurry of animated discussion.

"This Chen family usually seems so ordinary, but who has come today? Such an extravagant setup! All you'd need is a gong and drum leading the way, and it would rival an inspection tour by the county magistrate."

"You wouldn't know about this, would you? I heard the old Chen fellow's daughter became a concubine to some high official. It's a safe bet that his daughter has come back."

"Right, there's been talk of this for a long time. There was that Scholar Xia who took a fancy to their family's daughter and ended up getting his scholarly honors stripped away right on the spot..."

"Tsk tsk, you never know until you see it. The Chen family was virtually a broken branch with no heirs, but having such a fine daughter means they're about to soar to prosperity!"

Regardless of how the onlookers gossiped, the moment Xianglan stepped out of the carriage, she saw Chen Wanquan and Mrs. Xue standing eagerly at the doorway, straining their eyes in hope. At that very sight, Xianglan's nose stung with emotion. She hurried forward to support Mrs. Xue, called out "Mother," and let the tears roll down.

The Chen couple's eyes immediately reddened. Chen Wanquan, who had been completely dazed by the grand array accompanying Xianglan's homecoming, only snapped back to reality upon seeing his daughter, and frantically wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

Chunling gently urged, "If the young mistress wishes to catch up with her family, it would be best to go inside. The wind is strong out here, so take care not to catch a chill."

Xianglan nodded repeatedly and, arm in arm with Mrs. Xue, walked inside. As soon as the family of three entered the main hall, Chunling instructed the outriders to put away the black cloth and had several trunks carried inside.

In the main hall, Mrs. Xue looked Xianglan up and down. She saw that her daughter had indeed grown a bit thinner, and that the clothes she wore and the adornments in her hair were dazzlingly radiant. Yet the bright, crisp demeanor she once possessed was gone, replaced by a reserved and wooden look, making it clear that her life had not been carefree or easy. Mrs. Xue's heart sank, and her expression turned stern; she had much to ask, but hesitated to voice it with outsiders present.

Chen Wanquan, however, was beaming with radiant joy as he laughed heartily and said, "Daughter, the moment I saw you, I knew you were living well at the Lin household. Just look at what you're wearing—I reckon even the imperial consorts in the palace couldn't surpass this! And look at the grand escort you brought back today—ho! You actually had government soldiers protecting you the whole way, with six retainers, a personal maid, old mothers, married matrons, and little maids! My dear mother in heaven and Jade Emperor above, even if the county magistrate's wife goes out, she might not have this much prestige!" As he spoke, he could not help bursting into another loud laugh, utterly pleased with himself. Feeling that his spine had suddenly straightened by another two inches, he shook his head and rambled on, "Splendid, splendid! Who would have ever thought that I would become the father-in-law of the Lin family's eldest young master? Let's see who dares to mess with me from now on!"

This speech left Xianglan so exasperated she nearly froze. She retorted, "Father, stop gilding your own lily. How can you actually bring yourself to say 'father-in-law of the Lin family's eldest young master'?"

Chen Wanquan glared with his small eyes rounded and said, "Why am I saying it wrong? Since you are with Master Lin now, am I not his father-in-law? Let me tell you, daughter, you must put away that stubborn temper of yours! Serve Master Lin well. Setting aside the fact that my very life was saved by him, all this wealth and glory you enjoy right now was given to you by his household! This is a golden rice bowl, and you must hold onto it tight!"

Xianglan let out a cold laugh. "I once swore an oath never to be a concubine to anyone. Now that I've ended up like this, trampled upon by others, Father actually thinks it's a mark of prestige and is eager to gild your own lily. What do you think I am in the Lin household? I am nothing more than a lowly creature, a plaything like a little cat or dog. How many concubines does Master Lin have in his inner courtyard, and how many mistresses outside? Right now he merely fancies my novelty, which is why he is willing to indulge me. If you covet this sort of superficial glory, you had better enjoy it thoroughly right now. Otherwise, once your daughter grows old and faded, and is no longer favored, not only will your prestige as the 'father-in-law of Master Lin' vanish completely, but you might even end up lower than a servant!" With that, she stood up, turned on her heel without looking back, and strode toward the east wing. With a loud bang, she slammed the door shut.

Mrs. Xue stamped her foot in agitation inside the room, pointed at Chen Wanquan, and scolded, "You—you old fool! Our daughter has barely managed to come home for a visit, and yet you go blabbing about all these irrelevant things, twisting the knife right in her sore spots! Have you truly lost your mind in your old age?"

Xianglan's words moments ago had already made Chen Wanquan feel somewhat sheepish. Hearing Mrs. Xue lay into him like this only made him bristle with defensive fury. He jumped up and shouted, "Which part of what I said was wrong? Her wings have hardened now, and because she thinks she's a high-and-mighty mistress, she dares to talk back to her own father!" He cursed and ranted under his breath, wanting to roar at the top of his lungs, but fearing that the servants who had come along from the outside might overhear, he forced himself to swallow it, though his mouth continued to mutter low curses nonstop.

Furious, Mrs. Xue glared at Chen Wanquan and rushed out after her daughter.

Chunling and a little maid were busy unpacking things inside the east wing. Seeing Xianglan enter with an angry expression, Chunling was taken aback. Xianglan said, "You all go outside first." Not daring to ask questions, Chunling led the people out, closed the door, and went to the adjacent room.

Xianglan sat down on the edge of the bed, and tears instantly poured down like rain as she buried her face in her hands and sobbed. In the Lin household, she felt as though she were merely surviving for the sake of surviving. Every day when she opened her eyes, she was subjected to having maids dress her in bright, brilliant garments and adorn her with precious jewelry, decking her out in all her finery simply to please Lin Jinlou—because only when he was happy could she have a good day. Every day consisted of nothing more than painting, reading, and sitting in a daze by the window. Sometimes she could hear Luan'er holding a pipa and singing songs in the distance; the tune she sang most frequently of late was: "In the morning we rejoice in the flowers' vibrant spring, by evening we grieve as the flowers turn to dust. I do not grieve that the flowers fall too early, I grieve that my own body resembles a blossoming flower..." That voice of hers was exceptionally lovely, its melody lingering and sorrowful. Xianglan would often hug her knees and listen in a daze, listening for as long as Luan'er sang. Toward the other women in Lin Jinlou's inner courtyard, she felt not a shred of jealousy, but rather a sense of pity—they were nothing more than miserable souls just like her, except that they poured every ounce of their strength into fighting for favor, whereas she lacked the heart for it.

Sometimes she wished she could let herself live a bit more freely, wondering if fretting over these stifling, vexing matters wasn't just a form of self-torture, and reflecting that one way or another, life had to be lived. Yet Lin Jinlou was no decent match, and her own nature was one that would rather snap than bend—how could she ever gloss it over or pretend otherwise? When she decided to come home this time, she had intended to quietly hint at the situation to her parents, so that the family could sit together and figure out some way for her to leave the Lin household. Never in her wildest dreams had she expected Chen Wanquan to react with such a smug, basking sense of glory. Xianglan's heart turned instantly cold, and all the grievances she had accumulated over these past few days surged up together, leaving her unable to stem the tears.