The Early Spring - Chapter 76

Chapter 76 - Tenderness 

Luan Nian drove aimlessly through the streets.

Autumn in Beijing was probably the most beautiful time of the year. Fallen leaves blanketed the streets, a lone chair stood by the bus stop, and an elderly artist sat by the roadside sketching, capturing all of it within his painting. In the painting, there was no dirt or ugliness—only a polished, peaceful beauty.

He parked his car by the curb, found a bench, and sat down, watching the steady stream of people passing by before him. Images of the trembling Shang Zhitao and the Shang Zhitao enduring the scrutinizing gazes of the crowd alternated in his mind, ultimately merging into the image of a Shang Zhitao fighting her battles all alone.

A Shang Zhitao who had never sought his help, strictly adhering to the original terms of their arrangement.

A brand new her—or perhaps she had been this way all along, and he had simply never noticed.

Luan Nian had never felt so shocked or terrified as he did today. The audio recording had carved a wound in his heart, from which blood flowed continuously. His heart ached so intensely—a pain he had never experienced before—that he didn't know how to handle it.

He wanted to say something to Shang Zhitao, or say nothing at all, even if it meant just giving her a brief embrace. So he called her phone, but no one answered.

After thinking it over for a long time, Luan Nian dialed Sun Yu's number. The line rang for a while before she finally picked up. He said, "Hello, this is Luan Nian. Is Shang Zhitao there?"

"Shang Zhitao is sleeping; she's utterly exhausted," Sun Yu glanced at the deeply sleeping Shang Zhitao and said softly, "I'll let her know you called when she wakes up."

"No need. Thanks." Luan Nian hung up the phone.

He sat by the street for a long time. His phone kept ringing continuously, and he finally answered.

It was Tracy.

"The board of directors is blowing up. They want me to get you online for a meeting."

"No."

"I see people discussing it online already, and the stock price is dropping."

"Serves them right."

"So... are you really resigning?"

"Mm."

Tracy thought for a moment and said, "It's good to teach them a lesson. But resigning wasn't part of our original plan."

"I'm not doing it to teach them a lesson; I just want to resign."

"...Are you serious?"

"I'm serious. Have the board find someone right away. I'm taking leave starting today."

Luan Nian hung up the phone, shoved it into his pocket, and remained sitting by the roadside. Whenever young women passed by, they would cast secret glances at him, curious as to why such a handsome man was sitting there. Luan Nian noticed none of these looks; he sat by the curb for a long time, until night fell.

His phone buzzed incessantly, bothering his peace, but he paid it no mind.

It was only when Shang Zhitao called in that he answered. She asked softly, "Sun Yu said you called me?"

"I did."

"Where are you?"

"In front of your house."

Luan Nian heard the sound of the door opening at Shang Zhitao's place, followed by the sound of her footsteps rushing down the stairs—thud, thud, thud—at a rapid pace. Unable to help himself, he said to her, "Slow down, I'm in no rush."

"Oh." Shang Zhitao offered a soft response, yet her footsteps didn't slow down at all, echoing against Luan Nian's heart, beat after beat.

"Hi." Shang Zhitao stood a few meters away from him. The grievances and fear in her heart surged back up all at once. She looked away, not wanting to cry in front of him. Shang Zhitao thought: I have to be stronger.

"I want to look at the moon," Shang Zhitao said to him. "Can I bring Luke along and go up the mountain with you to watch the moon?" Shang Zhitao loved nights like that, where the bright moonlit night illuminated a person's heart to be completely open and clear.

"Okay."

The two of them, along with the dog, drove toward the mountain. Luan Nian didn't say a word the entire way, unsure of what to say. When the car pulled up in front of the bar and Luan Nian engaged the handbrake, Shang Zhitao rested her hand over the back of his, whispering, "Luan Nian, can you say a few words to me?"

"Say what?"

"Anything is fine." Shang Zhitao felt a sense of dread in her heart; she hadn't realized how painful it would be to be the center of everyone's attention. Even though Sun Yuanzhu and Sun Yu were accompanying her, she had still left the house wanting to see Luan Nian. She knew in her heart that her love for Luan Nian could not be replaced by anyone else. When she felt deeply sad, she only wanted to be by his side, even if he might end up making her feel even sadder.

"I don't know how to do small talk. I only know that I've asked you countlessly how many times whether Dony had harassed you, and you said no." Luan Nian turned off the headlights, plunging the surroundings into darkness, with only the stars and clouds in the sky above to hear their conversation: "So you've never trusted me, have you?" Luan Nian looked at Shang Zhitao: "Or is it that you have enough people by your side to trust and rely on, so you didn't need to ask me for help at all, refusing to even tell me the truth?"

"I didn't have the standing to tell you."

"Then on what standing did you tell others?"

"Because others are friends."

"And I'm just your fuck buddy?" Luan Nian stepped out of the car, with Shang Zhitao and Luke following behind him. After taking a few steps, Luan Nian backed up again: "I thought sleeping together for several years might make us a little closer than friends."

"Don't be so sharp." Shang Zhitao's eyes grew slightly red. She wanted Luan Nian to hug her, but she couldn't bring herself to say it: "I'm in a bad mood. I went back home with my friends, originally intending to get a good night's sleep, but I only slept for a little while. I wanted to see you and talk to you so that I might feel a bit better. So please don't be so sharp." Shang Zhitao pursed her lips tightly, feeling tears welling up in her eyes, but she held them back. She didn't want to cry in front of Luan Nian, fearing he might say: Weren't you playing the hero? So why are you crying now?

Luan Nian saw Shang Zhitao's eyes glistening under the moonlight, as if brimming with tears. He felt he was quite a bastard; she had had such a terrible day, yet all he wanted to do was ask her why she hadn't told him, even though his original intention in coming to find her was to hold her.

"Are you still scared?" Luan Nian asked her softly.

Shang Zhitao's lips trembled, the corners of her mouth turning down like a child on the verge of tears.

"Come here," Luan Nian called out to her.

She took two steps toward him, and Luan Nian reached out, pulling her into his arms and embracing her tightly.

It seemed they had never embraced at any time other than during sex. Luan Nian's chest felt broad and warm; he placed his hand behind Shang Zhitao's head, pressing her face against his chest.

Shang Zhitao's anxious and fearful heart finally settled down. Wrapping her arms tightly around Luan Nian's waist, afraid he might let go too soon, she said, "Can I stay in your arms a little longer?"

"Mm." Luan Nian tightened his arms a bit more, and Shang Zhitao returned to being that obedient girl, quietly nestling in his embrace. Neither of them spoke. Luan Nian felt his heart heal just a bit, and Shang Zhitao also felt that today hadn't been quite so terrible after all.

At least as it drew to a close, Luan Nian had held her.

"Why did you hit him?"

"Because he bullied you."

"But you bully me all the time."

"I'm allowed to." Luan Nian tightened his arms once more: "But I was very angry today too. I was angry that you didn't tell me anything, keeping me in the dark like an unscrupulous agent."

"Shang Zhitao, do you intend to make me pick a fight for you every year?"

"Two fights a year is fine too." Shang Zhitao raised her head to look at him: "You look damn sexy when you fight."

Her bangs brushed against his chin, tickling him slightly, so Luan Nian simply lowered his head, rubbing his chin against the crook of her neck.

Shang Zhitao giggled aloud, turning her head to dodge him: "It tickles."

Luan Nian refused to let her dodge, cupping her face and rubbing his chin against it. The light stubble on his face prickled against Shang Zhitao's delicate skin, both stinging and tickling. She reached out to hit him, forming her hands into fists to lightly pummel his chest: "I give up! I give up!"

Luan Nian's heart, which had been stifled and aching all day, seemed to mend a little further, so he held her close once more. Luke had waited for a long time, assuming they were about to head inside to eat meat, since Luan Nian frequently brought him to the bar while Shang Zhitao was away on business trips. Luan Nian kept canned pet food and dried meat at the bar for him—all of Luke's absolute favorites. Yet seeing these two standing there embracing with no intention of heading inside made him a bit anxious. He nipped at Shang Zhitao's pant leg and tugged it toward the bar: "Whine, whine."

Shang Zhitao looked at him suspiciously: "What's wrong with you?"

Luan Nian certainly knew what was wrong with him, but he turned his head and pretended not to know. Shang Zhitao didn't allow Luke to eat too much meat, saying that too much meat was bad for dogs. Every day he was limited to either two eggs or a single piece of dried meat. Luan Nian couldn't stand that rule, so whenever she wasn't around, he fed Luke plenty of meat.

Luke let go of her pant leg, ran a couple of steps toward the bar, and seeing her standing still, ran back barking: "Woof~ Whine~" turning his neck toward the bar, looking as if he were just short of speaking actual words.

Luan Nian burst into laughter at Luke's silly behavior, not forgetting to mock him: "Like dog, like owner." Taking a stride with his long legs, he walked away.

The bar had just finished an event today, so there was no one around at this hour except for the manager on duty. Seeing Luan Nian walk in, the manager said, "What brings you here?"

Luan Nian glanced at Shang Zhitao: "Brought Luke's owner over for a drink."

The manager smiled at Shang Zhitao: "Hello."

Luke was already very familiar with the manager, standing there and barking at him: "Where's the meat?"

The manager on duty naturally understood Luke's meaning, waving his hand at him: "Come on."

Shang Zhitao tilted her head, feeling a bit puzzled: "He comes here often? On what grounds does he get to come here often? I haven't even been here often."

"Is that any of your business?"

Luan Nian glanced at her: "Are you hungry?"

"Hungry!" Shang Zhitao hadn't eaten much all day and was truly starving to death.

"Wait a moment."

Luan Nian went to the back kitchen. His bar's kitchen was spotlessly clean, with steak, lamb chops, and pasta neatly arranged in the food display, all top-grade ingredients.

Taking out the pasta and steak, he prepared a quick Western-style meal.

Shang Zhitao sat on a high stool, sizing up the bar and wondering how much money it must lose. Before her thought could even settle, several cars arrived outside, and a group of men and women stepped out, walking into the bar.

As if by magic, two servers emerged from a hidden door nearby. The servers Luan Nian hired were remarkably good-looking, standing there handsome and sharp as they greeted the incoming guests: "Feel free to sit anywhere."

"Just by the window." Several people sat by the window, and one of them asked the server, "Can we turn off the lights later to look at the stars?"

The server replied, "Sure."

They could even turn off the lights to look at the stars?

Luan Nian carried two quick meals over, placing one in front of Shang Zhitao. The group over there turned their heads to look at them.

Luan Nian smiled at them, pulled out a knife and fork to hand to Shang Zhitao, and sat down beside her to eat together.

Shang Zhitao heard a girl say, "Should we tell Teacher Gong?"

"Let's not."

"But isn't the owner supposed to be Teacher Gong's dating partner?"

"That person might not necessarily be the owner, right? Even if he is, she might not necessarily be his girlfriend, right?"

Shang Zhitao took a bite of pasta, a little sauce smudging the corner of her mouth. Luan Nian pointed at his own mouth, then pointed at hers.

Shang Zhitao opened her eyes, feeling a bit confused, not understanding Luan Nian's gesture.

Luan Nian pointed again, and Shang Zhitao pointed at her own lips as well. Luan Nian nodded.

Kissing publicly wasn't very appropriate, was it? Had Luan Nian run into some kind of trouble? Connecting the dots with what those people over there had just said, enlightenment suddenly struck her. Luan Nian must have provoked some other girl and now found it hard to untangle himself.

Then she'd just have to make a little sacrifice.

Leaning forward, her lips lightly pecked the corner of his mouth, and she even asked him earnestly, "Will this do?"

Luan Nian was completely dumbfounded by Shang Zhitao's stupidity; he picked up a napkin and wiped the corner of her mouth with some force. Realizing she had done something foolish again, Shang Zhitao sat back down with a flushed face, muttering under her breath, "Then why couldn't you just say it directly?"

"Have you ever seen a man ask a woman in public to wipe the corner of her mouth?"

"Oh." Shang Zhitao's face turned red, while the corners of Luan Nian's mouth curled upward.

The bartender was mixing drinks, and Shang Zhitao leaned on the bar counter to watch. She thought mixology looked exceptionally cool, and the drink probably tasted quite good too, so she asked Luan Nian, "After he finishes mixing for the guests, can I have a glass too?"

"No."

Luan Nian cleared the dining plates away and had the server place a small candle in front of that group of men and women. Surrounding the candle were their cocktails, and the bar lights were switched off. It was only faintly bright near the window, while the rest was bathed in dim darkness.

In the dark, Shang Zhitao grabbed Luan Nian's hand, making a quiet request: "I also want to sip a cocktail and admire the moon."

"No."

"Just one glass."

"Alright."

Luan Nian had no firm stance either; he stepped behind the bar counter to mix a drink for Shang Zhitao, lighting a tiny lamp. He mixed the drink inside the bar counter while Shang Zhitao watched him from the outside. A moment later, Luan Nian brought out a glass of cocktail containing an ice cube carved into the shape of a heart.

"What is this drink called?" Shang Zhitao asked him.

"A Brave Heart," Luan Nian said.