The Early Spring - Chapter 107

Chapter 107 - A Fading Heart

It was Tracy who showed Luan Nian the video.

It was a video currently circulating widely within HR circles of an employee jumping off a building under unbearable pressure. In the final moments of the video, a girl was weeping heart-wrenchingly.

Seeing Shang Zhitao crying so bitterly, Luan Nian felt an unprovoked wave of sorrow rise within him as well. Returning the phone to Tracy, he lowered his head and asked her, "The deceased's name?"

"To respect the deceased, his name wasn't disclosed. Word is his surname was Sun."

Luan Nian raised his head to look at Tracy, then turned his gaze toward Shang Zhitao's vacant workstation.

"Josh granted her leave," Tracy said to Luan Nian. "Under such exceptional circumstances, it wouldn't be right for us to force an employee to work. After all, she completely broke down."

"Alright."

Luan Nian kept calling Shang Zhitao's phone, but no one answered. Getting up, he stepped out the door. He had been to Shang Zhitao's place before—a warm, cozy little home. Only after pressing his hand against the doorbell for over ten minutes did he hear footsteps slowly approaching. The door opened, revealing a lifeless Sun Yu.

"Can I help you?" Sun Yu asked him.

"Where's Shang Zhitao?" Luan Nian asked her. Sun Yu stepped aside to let him in, then returned to her own bedroom. Luan Nian's heart twinged with pain. Walking over to the doorway, he pushed open the door and saw Shang Zhitao leaning against the bed, reading a book.

She raised her head to look at him, her gaze distant, as if looking at a stranger. Luan Nian sat beside her bed. After a long pause, his hand reached out for hers, pressing his palm against the back of her hand as he said to her, "My condolences."

Shang Zhitao pulled her hand back, remaining silent. Luan Nian simply stayed by her side to keep her company. No windows were open in her room and the curtains remained drawn, creating a suffocating atmosphere. It seemed as though she hadn't slept for two days, a faint layer of dark circles lingering beneath her eyes. She hadn't taken a shower either, and there was even a stale, moldy odor in the room.

"Do you want to go out for a walk?" Luan Nian asked her.

"Do you feel happy?" Shang Zhitao suddenly asked him.

"What?"

"The Sun Yuanzhu you hated most is dead. Do you feel even the slightest bit happy?" Shang Zhitao set down her book and looked at Luan Nian. "The Sun Yuanzhu you slandered multiple times is dead. Are you happy?"

"No, wait—you probably wouldn't feel happy. Because he has nothing to do with you, and you've always remained aloof, standing high above as if nothing concerns you. Selfish and self-serving."

"You think I'm that kind of person?" he asked her.

"Aren't you?" Shang Zhitao asked back. She didn't particularly care about the answer; her heart was simply blocked up to the brim, desperately needing an outlet to vent. She felt Luan Nian was the most suitable target to vent on—no matter what you said, at most he would just get angry or hurl a insult like dumbass, never taking it to heart because he simply didn't care. Someone like him who cared about nothing was truly far too happy; because he didn't care, he never suffered himself—he only made others suffer.

Unexpectedly, Luan Nian didn't lose his temper this time.

He walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains. Sunlight streamed through the glass onto Shang Zhitao's face; sensing the sting in her eyes, she turned her head away.

"Draw them shut," she said to Luan Nian.

As if he hadn't heard her, Luan Nian turned around and went to the bathroom to find a towel. On the bathroom wall hung a towel rack with three clean towels hanging at even distances. Names were written in colored marker on the wooden frame. Luan Nian picked up the one beneath "Taotao," turned on the tap to wash and wring it dry, and walked back into the bedroom.

Shang Zhitao's book lay beside her hand as she stared out the window, unsure of what she was thinking. Luan Nian stepped up to her, but the moment he reached out his hand, she slapped it away. "Go away! Don't touch me!"

Without a word, Luan Nian pressed her down onto the bed. Ignoring her fierce struggles, he draped the towel over her face, though his wiping movements were extremely gentle. There were still leftover tear stains from the previous night on her face, making Luan Nian's heart ache once more.

Shang Zhitao's eyes grew intensely hot. Clenching her teeth, she forced her tears back and turned her head away to avoid looking at Luan Nian. She didn't want to see him, especially in such a pathetic state; she only wished he would leave quickly and let her read her book in peace.

Luan Nian never gave her what she wanted.

He dragged a chair over to her bedside, sat down, and pulled out his phone to play with it, deliberately not looking at Shang Zhitao.

Neither of them spoke, and the air settled into silence.

Shang Zhitao sat up again, picking up her book to read. Reading this book, she didn't even dare to dog-ear the pages, turning them with extreme care. That entire room full of Sun Yuanzhu's books had been left to her.

Shang Zhitao thought to herself: I must buy a larger apartment, so I can have a wall of bookshelves to fit all these books.

The two of them sat facing each other like that until evening, with Luan Nian not saying a single word. As the sky grew darker, he walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, only to find they had almost no food stocked at home. Taking Shang Zhitao's keys, he stepped out the door and drove back to his place to fetch osmanthus flowers, syrup, and milk, before heading to the market to buy groceries.

When he returned to Shang Zhitao's home and opened the door, the apartment was pitch black. Luan Nian prepared her favorite osmanthus milk and brought it before her. "Drink."

"I don't want to drink, nor do I want to eat. I'm not hungry." Shang Zhitao turned her face away.

Luan Nian set the cup on her nightstand, turned around, and walked out.

Clattering sounds echoed from the kitchen, and as the faint fragrance of osmanthus drifted into her nose, a wave of sourness hit her, and tears streamed down once more.

Outside came the sizzle of hot oil in a wok cooking dishes, alongside the sweet aroma of cooking rice. Smelling that fragrance, Shang Zhitao suddenly felt a bit tired, leaning against the headboard and falling asleep for a brief while.

By the time she opened her eyes, Luan Nian was already gone. Dishes of food were laid out on the table, and Sun Yu sat beside it, her head lowered as she ate.

Shang Zhitao walked over and sat down too, but after taking only a few bites, she lost her appetite.

Luan Nian came over for six consecutive days, yet he never spoke. Shang Zhitao didn't know why he kept coming—he clearly didn't care about anything. It was only on the night after Sun Yu finally cried bitterly that the two girls felt as though they had returned to life.

The next day, they washed up as usual and went to work, as if nothing had ever happened.

When Shang Zhitao arrived at the company, her colleagues cast sympathetic yet strange looks her way. Lumi walked beside her and suddenly cursed, "What the fuck are you looking at!"

Shang Zhitao grabbed her hand, forbidding her from cursing. She had already lost a very important friend; for the few remaining friends she had, she hoped they would never be troubled or angry.

Shang Zhitao accompanied Lumi to buy coffee. Seeing Luan Nian standing at the counter, she waited outside the door without entering. Turning back and spotting Lumi, Luan Nian asked out of nowhere, "Did you sleep with Will?"

"Huh?" Lumi was somewhat shocked, unsure why he was asking this.

"Good, I take it you did. It wasn't easy to land him, so make good use of it." Luan Nian took his coffee and walked away.

As he passed by, Shang Zhitao turned away without greeting him. She didn't know when this kind of pain would pass; sometimes she deliberately ignored those sudden bursts of sadness, pretending to be a very happy person. Only she knew in her heart that she missed her friend deeply—so very, very deeply.

She still went to Luan Nian's home on weekends, except they no longer made love. Shang Zhitao had lost all interest in sex; she simply enjoyed spending time with Luke. At Luan Nian's house, she didn't speak much to him either, at most offering a few words like "Please hand me..." or "Thank you..."

Those passionate emotions she once held for Luan Nian were slowly fading away, to the point where she could even perceive the process of their disappearance. This had nothing to do with Sun Yuanzhu's passing; it had truly begun on that day he flew to the Northwest to find her and they got into a fight.

She wanted to take Luke away, but Sun Yu was currently extremely sensitive to noises; if Luke suddenly barked, it would startle her. She said to Luke, "Stay here for a few more days, okay? Once Sister Sun Yu gets a bit better, I'll come pick you up."

After a long period of preparation, the day of her presentation finally arrived.

The day of the presentation was an early winter day.

She wore a sharp, professional outfit and had put on makeup. The wind was heavy that afternoon; sitting in the conference room, one could hear the rustling of tree branches outside. Facing Shang Zhitao sat seven panelists—strangely enough, this year's lineup of judges was exceptionally formidable.

Tracy smiled at her: "Flora, let's begin."

Shang Zhitao spoke about her past six years—the solution to every hurdle, the experience distilled from every project, culminating in that massive, impactful project. This presentation process was even somewhat moving. After she finished her statement, Tracy suddenly said, "I still remember what you said during our very first phone call, Flora."

"I also remember how you looked when I first met you. Six years have passed—time truly flies. Before the other panelists ask their questions, I'd like to take this opportunity on behalf of the company to thank you for your hard work and dedication over the past six years. Thank you, Flora." Tracy stood up and gave her a hug.

Luan Nian recalled the first time he saw Shang Zhitao. It wasn't in Alex's office, but rather that morning when he pushed open the back door of the coffee shop and stepped out. Out of the corner of his eye, he had caught sight of a girl sitting on the sofa in the lobby, her posture straight and upright. It was already 2010, yet someone still sat like that, utterly humble.

Six years had passed, and the humility in Shang Zhitao had not faded with her growth in capability; that humility had been there all along. She always possessed an endless thirst for knowledge, often getting to the bottom of things in various meetings. She could seek advice and learn from anyone, never too shy to ask interns questions. That was truly rare.

Time changes people and shapes them, yet it could not alter Shang Zhitao's core. How resilient she was.

Will asked Shang Zhitao about the projects she worked on in the marketing department, showing great interest. Shang Zhitao's work was solid and her thinking rigorous; what was even rarer was that she dared to imagine and break routine, even offering suggestions regarding current budget practices.

Throughout this process, Luan Nian did not ask any questions. Only after all questions were concluded did he speak: "If given another chance, would you still choose to go to the Northwest?"

"I would. I don't regret my choices," Shang Zhitao said.

Luan Nian nodded: "Let's score."

Lingmei's promotion mechanism was extremely rigorous. Based on job rank and position models, the panel outlined various scoring parameters, anonymously evaluating each parameter to calculate a final composite score across all seven judges.

Shang Zhitao watched them score. Judges were judges after all—you couldn't read their thoughts at all because their faces remained expressionless. Once scoring was complete, the results were uploaded to the system.

Tracy said to her, "The scoring results will be posted later this evening. Thank you for your hard work."

Shang Zhitao nodded: "Thank you, esteemed panelists."

She stepped out of the conference room and saw Lumi raising her eyebrows at her, so she walked up to her and asked, "What's up?"

Lumi pointed at her phone: "Student Shang Zhitao, Will says you were absolutely fantastic. He gave you the highest composite score." After sending this message, Lumi added another line: "Will said it has nothing to do with you being my best friend. It's purely because you're truly incredible."

Shang Zhitao looked at Lumi, the person who had accompanied her in the workplace for six years. She didn't seem to care as much about winning or losing anymore; she suddenly realized that the people in front of her, the people by her side, were what mattered most.

But Lumi disagreed. She said to her, "If someone has to win, why shouldn't it be you?"

"If it's not you, I'll be the first one to object."

The bosses inside the conference room began filing out one after another. Shang Zhitao saw Luan Nian cast a deep glance at her before walking back into the conference room.

Shang Zhitao remembered how upset she had been back when he didn't inform her in advance about Yilia entering the competition, yet today she didn't seem to care as much about having him tell her the results beforehand.

She watched as Luan Nian sat at his desk with a furrowed brow. A moment later he picked up the phone, and shortly after, Tracy walked into Luan Nian's office, sitting across from him. They were talking about something unknown, both looking stern and serious.

Shang Zhitao sat at her desk waiting for a result. She didn't know in what form the result would be delivered to her; only those who had gone through it knew, but strangely enough, everyone seemed unwilling to talk much about it.

Time really flew by.

It had been six years.