The Early Spring - Chapter 106

Chapter 106 - In the Clouds

Shang Zhitao was packing her luggage in the Northwest.

She had been staying in the Northwest for fourteen months. Over these fourteen months, through wind and rain, it had been exceptionally grueling.

Suddenly, she felt a slight reluctance to leave this small home.

It was already evening by the time she finished packing her bags to ship back to Beijing and gifting the high-quality mattress Luan Nian had bought her to a colleague who didn't mind taking it.

Dragging a small suitcase, she headed to the airport with Shelly, who went along to see her off. Having spent fourteen months together day and night and braving countless project hurdles side by side, a sudden sense of mutual empathy blossomed between them at this moment.

"Why not apply to come back to the Northwest as the general manager of the branch office?" Shelly suggested.

Shang Zhitao smiled. "Actually, that could work."

"I'm serious. It's tough to make it in Beijing, especially in our company. Those with money or connections—you never know when you'll end up offending someone. It's better here, far away from the center of power. We pull off a project every few years, and one project feeds us for several years."

"Speaking of projects, the company approved over four hundred thousand in project bonuses, which should be paid out together at the end of the year."

"That's great. Thank you. Seriously, think about my proposal—come be the branch boss here."

Shang Zhitao burst out laughing.

Returning to Beijing meant stepping back into the vortex of public opinion. But one thing was wonderful: she, Sun Yu, and Sun Yuanzhu set aside a day to watch a midnight movie together. In the empty cinema, each of them guarded a row of vacant seats, clearing their minds of joys and sorrows in the dim light.

Walking side by side on their way out, Sun Yu brought up that year's Christmas. It had snowed, and the three of them had stepped out of the movie theater, walking six kilometers through the snow.

That night, they had taken so many photos in the residential compound, but their favorite remained that group shot of the three of them. Standing in the snow, it was the prime of their lives. Back then, none of them had suffered much hardship, every single one of them still possessing a raw, youthfully green look.

"Those days are gone for good, aren't they?" Sun Yu remarked.

"Shall we take another group photo?" Shang Zhitao proposed.

That night, they took another photo together. Comparing it secretly, Sun Yu's eyes turned red. She said to Shang Zhitao, "Look at him—he's like a completely different person."

"But the warmth in him is still there," Shang Zhitao comforted her, though a tinge of sorrow touched her own heart as well.

Having been away for fourteen months, sitting in the office once more felt like a lifetime ago. Opening her drawer, she spotted that wish list of things to do before turning thirty tucked beneath a file folder. Most of them had been achieved, with only that single line of text remaining clean and untouched: "I want to have a small house of my own in Beijing."

She stared at the piece of paper for a long time; years had passed, and the paper had grown somewhat worn. She gently placed it back into the drawer.

"Flora, step into my office for a moment?" Josh asked to speak with her, and she replied, "Sure."

She got up and walked into Josh's office.

Seeing Shang Zhitao enter, he pointed to the chair across from his desk. "Have a seat."

Shang Zhitao sat down, and Josh raised his head from his computer screen. "Have you prepared your presentation materials for the review?"

"Not yet. Phase One of the project wrapped up recently, so I haven't had time to write them." Shang Zhitao sat up straight, just as she always had. Observing her posture, Josh said to her, "No need to be so formal."

"It's not that, I've just always been like this."

"Mm." Josh pushed the computer toward Shang Zhitao. "I was reviewing your job performance evaluations over the past few years, and I think you're really fantastic. But you also have weaknesses." Josh opened the job rank capability model. "Have you mapped yourself against it?"

"I have."

"Have you analyzed it? What's your conclusion?"

"I have. Creative ability is my weak point."

Josh nodded. "So when you give your presentation, you need to know how to play to your strengths and avoid your weaknesses. Send me your presentation report once you finish writing it, and I'll help you go through it a few times." Shang Zhitao wanted to ask Will you also help look over Yilia's? But in the end, she didn't ask. There was nothing to ask; an outstanding leader would appear to hold the scales perfectly balanced at a time like this.

"Thank you. I'll send it to you as soon as I finish writing."

"Don't use 'sir' or formal titles—just call me Josh."

"Alright, Josh."

Shang Zhitao's solemn earnestness made Josh smile. "There's no need to look like you're facing a formidable enemy. I want you to succeed. I didn't want to bring it up at the dinner table that day, but since everyone raised the topic, I had no choice but to speak. I hope you understand."

"It's alright, Josh."

Stepping out of Josh's office, Shang Zhitao ran straight into Tracy, who smiled and asked her, "How's it going?"

"With what?"

"The review presentation materials."

"I haven't started preparing them yet."

"Prepare them carefully, Flora," Tracy said to her. "I believe you can do it."

"Thank you, Tracy." Shang Zhitao believed Tracy's encouragement was sincere, and she trusted her completely.

Returning to her desk, she saw Lumi arrive. Seeing that Shang Zhitao was back, Lumi pulled her along to grab coffee. The moment the elevator doors closed, Lumi whispered to her, "Don't be afraid of anything. Will is a panelist too."

"What?"

"This year's review panel consists of heads from various departments plus two experts. Tracy is a panelist too. I've analyzed it all for you: Will is the guy sleeping with me—if he dares give you a low score, I'll destroy him; Tracy has been good to you from beginning to end; that stubborn donkey Luke should treat you fairly; and you have a good relationship with Grace. The only wild card is your new boss."

Lumi painstakingly analyzed everything for Shang Zhitao, preferring to be a nobody her entire life rather than see Shang Zhitao lose. She simply wanted Shang Zhitao to beat those people and rise to the top.

Shang Zhitao couldn't find the words to tell Lumi just how much she loved her, only able to say, "The coffee is on me."

Her mood that day was exceptionally good—extraordinarily, wonderfully good.

She called Sun Yuanzhu and Sun Yu, asking if they wanted to have dinner together that evening, and both readily agreed.

Sun Yuanzhu even posted a few restaurants in their group chat, asking, "How about these?"

They discussed the restaurants and flavors in the group, until Sun Yuanzhu finally said, "Never mind, let's eat at home. Sun Yu's cooking tastes good."

"Then it's settled. I don't have a management meeting this afternoon, so I'll pick up Taotao in a bit, then come pick you up, and the three of us will go grocery shopping together."

"Sounds good," Sun Yuanzhu said, his mood appearing exceptionally bright.

Shang Zhitao secretly whispered to Sun Yu, "I feel like the treatment is taking effect. Look at him now—he eats more, he likes to talk, and that night when the three of us came back from the movie, he even smiled a few times!"

"Taotao, I'm so happy."

"Me too."

That day was truly an ordinary, unremarkable day. They were working at their respective posts, yet quietly planning to hit the food market together after work and head home to cook. Their plan was seamless: Sun Yu would pick up Shang Zhitao, then the two of them would pick up Sun Yuanzhu, head to the market to buy groceries, and finally go home to prepare a lavish feast.

Every part of the plan was perfect. The weather was perfect too—a crisp autumn sky with a clear, gentle breeze.

The evening clouds that day were breathtakingly beautiful. Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu pulled out their phones to capture the sight at the exact same time, even sending photos of the sunset into the group chat: "Look, a sunset like poetry."

They drove the car down to Sun Yuanzhu's office building. Sun Yu called him, but no one answered.

The area beneath the building was packed tightly with people. The two of them squeezed through the crowd, asking a young woman, "What happened? Is there an event?"

Tears welled in the young woman's eyes as she said, "One of our colleagues jumped off the building." The girl seemed frightened out of her wits, unable to process such a thing happening right beside her.

"He was living just fine, why would he jump?"

Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu kept pushing through the crowd while Sun Yu continually dialed Sun Yuanzhu's phone, but no one picked up. Squeezing into the innermost circle of the crowd, they were stopped by police tape. They saw a figure lying on the ground, a white sheet draped over him.

The phone in Sun Yu's hand still hadn't been put down. She saw someone holding out a phone to a police officer, who took the phone and answered, "Hello."

Sun Yu couldn't hear what the officer said; countless sounds detonated inside her ears, exploding into earth-shattering roars that shattered her ear canals. She looked at Shang Zhitao, not shedding a single tear, her grip on Shang Zhitao's hand tight to the point of breaking. Sun Yu watched as the light in Shang Zhitao's eyes faded, turning into sheer, hollow confusion.

Hanging up the phone, Sun Yu's hands trembled uncontrollably and her teeth chattered, her voice shaking as she begged Shang Zhitao, "Taotao, can you help me check if it's him? Can you?"

"What? Who?"

"That person—can you go check for me?"

Shang Zhitao closed her eyes tightly, opening them only after a long moment. She said, "Okay."

A distance of fifty meters felt like a walk through an entire lifetime. Shang Zhitao stumbled once and was caught by a security guard, who said, "Maybe it's not him."

Shang Zhitao was brought before the body. When the white cloth was lifted to reveal that mangled, bloody face, Shang Zhitao closed her eyes, her mind completely filled with Sun Yuanzhu's words: I really want to jump into the sea of clouds.

I really want to jump into the sea of clouds.

The evening glow that day was stunningly beautiful—extraordinarily, breathtakingly beautiful. Sun Yuanzhu died at a dusk bathed in crimson clouds, carrying with him all his gentleness. Even in death, he departed wrapped in poetry.

People were all discussing it: "Such a fine young man, why couldn't he work through things?"

"He was a young scientist from the autonomous driving division, a pillar of the nation—what an absolute tragedy."

"Who knows what kind of trouble he ran into that he couldn't see past."

Everyone—every single person—discussed the deceased man with an air of casual detachment, treating this matter of life and death as an ordinary occurrence of the mortal world. They did not know that the person who had departed was a lover someone had yearned for a lifetime, the best friend someone ever had, a rarity in this world.

Shang Zhitao finally burst into uncontrollable, sobbing tears.

She asked Sun Yu, "Do you want to take another look? Do you want to say goodbye to him?"

Sun Yu shook her head. "I don't want to. I want to forever remember his clean face." From beginning to end, her face remained entirely expressionless.

Shang Zhitao couldn't remember what happened later that day—she didn't remember how she wept in front of the crowd, nor how Sun Yu pulled her away, nor how they made it back home.

Everything was a hollow void.

This warm home still contained the bookshelf Sun Yuanzhu had personally built, the enclosure he had made for Luke, the walls he had personally painted, and the flowers he had planted with his own hands.

I don't know if you have ever lost your best friend, but I have. Shang Zhitao thought to herself that the feeling was far too surreal. She and Sun Yu sat in the living room as the house turned pitch black, the moonlight pouring in like water. Both of them stared fixedly at the door, constantly feeling that in just a moment, Sun Yuanzhu would open the door and walk in. Thin and gentle as ever, he would smile at them and say, "I'm back."

Suddenly, she couldn't picture Sun Yuanzhu's face—there was only a vague, empty visage with a pair of glasses perched on top.

"Do you still remember what he looks like?" she asked Sun Yu through her tears.

Sun Yu didn't answer. She stood up, walked into the kitchen, and began boiling noodles. She was far too hungry, her stomach so hollow that it desperately needed food to fill it.

She ate three entire bowls of noodles until her stomach was stuffed to the brim. Shang Zhitao snatched her chopsticks, crying as she pleaded, "Don't be like this, Sun Yu." Sun Yu picked up the bowl and drank the broth, a sharp, twisting pain clutching her stomach. Suddenly, she seemed to understand why Sun Yuanzhu disliked eating. Setting down the bowl, she walked into the bedroom and shut the door.

Shang Zhitao sat in the room, unable to close her eyes for the entire night. As day broke, she suddenly recalled Sun Yuanzhu's appearance—it was a rain-washed morning when he had walked with her to the bus stop, saying to her: "My name is Sun Yuanzhu."

She had asked: "As in 'A grand ambition spans the four seas, spreading wild wings to soar far'?"

The final line of 'A grand ambition spans the four seas, spreading wild wings to soar far' was: 'The ancients cherished every inch of time, a thought that fills one with dread.'

This was supposed to have been a wonderful day, yet it had become the absolute worst day of their lives.

On the evening of the next day, Sun Yuanzhu's father and younger sister came to pack up his belongings. His sister was truly beautiful, her expression strikingly similar to his. Though there were four people in the room, no one spoke. Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu stood at the doorway, watching Sun Yuanzhu's family organize his belongings. When they lifted his mattress, they found the space beneath packed with books and a small box. The old man opened it and saw an assortment of items inside, with a label affixed to the box: Gift to Yu and Tao.

Receiving the box, Sun Yu saw all the little trinkets she had given Sun Yuanzhu over the years: a comb, a piece of jade, a fountain pen, and a letter. Sun Yu had hidden all the gentleness of her adult years inside those gifts. Opening the letter, she saw that Sun Yuanzhu had added a line of text at the very end:

I shall watch you from beyond the mortal realm as you fall in love, marry, have children, and enjoy a lifetime of joy, free from suffering forever.

There was also a tiny carved walnut figure—the very one Shang Zhitao had tied to the tree branch.

Worn down by the dust of the mortal world, one is both a traveler and a returning soul.

All of these gifts were Sun Yuanzhu's gentle offerings across the long years; from this point on, all they could offer in return was the wind.

It was on a night—the seventh consecutive night of Shang Zhitao's insomnia, and the seventh day Sun Yu had done nothing but sleep, eat, and sleep again—that Shang Zhitao lay in bed and heard a sound coming from the living room. Following the sound, she saw Sun Yu standing in the living room, weeping. Sun Yu turned back to look at Shang Zhitao, tears streaming down her face like torrential rain: "It's the seventh day. He's not coming back."

Shang Zhitao hugged Sun Yu, tightly anchoring the very last thread of her soul.

"I won't fall in love, marry, or have children. If I do that, he won't be watching over me anymore."

"I hope in our next life I meet him when I'm seventeen. I want to give him all my love for a lifetime, from youth to old age."

"I hope all those times I told him I loved him turn into lanterns along his departing path, illuminating the road beneath his feet."

"I hope he will never be in pain again."

In the darkest hour of life, I wish to light an ever-burning lantern for my beloved, accompanying you all the way to the end of the road, to the clouds you longed to reach. From now on, I remain in the mortal world, while you rest in the clouds—and inside my heart.

May you live a long, peaceful life.