The Early Spring - Chapter 105

Chapter 105 - The Rift

"The board of directors granted a special competitive slot this afternoon, so let's drink this glass together—Yilia, Flora, and the three of us. You're both from the Planning Department, and whichever one of you succeeds, I'll be happy for you." Josh raised his wine glass, giving Shang Zhitao a remarkably earnest look. Tracy had briefed him on Shang Zhitao's situation, and he found this employee rather interesting.

A sudden silence fell over the table, with everyone's eyes fixed on Shang Zhitao. In the corporate world, storm clouds could gather without warning, and no rules were set in stone. Everything had to make way for capital. It was merely one more competitor, and other departments had their own contenders as well. It was just that this particular rival came backed by a 250-million-yuan foundation.

A colleague coughed softly, waiting for Shang Zhitao's reaction. The atmosphere had turned excessively awkward. But Shang Zhitao was no longer the twenty-two-year-old she used to be; she could handle this. Glancing at the wine in her glass, she walked up to Josh with a smile. "Thank you, Boss. And thank you, Yilia, for being willing to enter the competition. An environment full of competition is beneficial to the company's development. I'm quietly looking forward to it."

"It's good that you understand," Josh said to Shang Zhitao.

Shang Zhitao smiled faintly, clinking glasses with him and Yilia before downing her drink. Yilia drank hers as well.

This decision had been made prior to the bidding process, representing the company's official stance. It ensured both open hiring practices and fair competition. However, it significantly raised the difficulty for Shang Zhitao. Without Yilia, everyone knew that this year's slot would have belonged to her, as she had spearheaded the mega-project. But Yilia possessed the backing of a 250-million-yuan deal alongside her influential background, making the outcome uncertain.

Shang Zhitao understood.

Yet she refused to admit defeat.

Yilia stopped her after the dinner ended. "Flora."

"Yilia."

"I actually didn't know about this beforehand either; I was only notified right before dinner. Tracy said Luke requested it from the board of directors, saying he felt the company's talent deployment was too rigid."

Shang Zhitao listened attentively to her explanation before speaking slowly: "I support the company's decision. Yilia, you're very capable, truly. When I was twenty-two or twenty-three, I was completely ordinary—and of course, I'm still ordinary now. I'm very glad to be competing alongside you." Shang Zhitao patted her on the shoulder. "Keep it up."

When she stepped through her front door that night, Sun Yuanzhu was already asleep. Sun Yu asked her, "Haven't seen him in so long—how come you didn't go over to his place?"

"He drank too much," Shang Zhitao replied, stepping into her bedroom. She didn't blame the board of directors for granting the special slot, nor did she care to investigate whether the rule change had truly been initiated by Luan Nian. As a company manager, he had the authority to adjust talent strategies, and Shang Zhitao could understand that. When Luan Nian called, she answered. She heard a heavy nasal tone in his voice—he really was a bit drunk.

"Why did you leave?" Luan Nian asked her.

"Came back to see Sun Yu."

"And Sun Yuanzhu," Luan Nian added. Both fell silent, unsure of what to say for a moment.

"Luan Nian, I want to ask you—did you know about the board's decision?" Shang Zhitao asked him. How could he not know? He should have been the very first to know. Or perhaps, just as Yilia had said, it was he who applied for the reform of the performance review process.

"I knew. Does it matter?"

"Didn't I have a right to know?"

"What are you afraid of?" Luan Nian asked her. "It's just one more competitor. What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid. I just hoped you would tell me."

"Is there a fundamental difference between me telling you and someone else telling you?"

"No."

Luan Nian was right—there was no fundamental difference, because the result was the same.

Shang Zhitao knew that as soon as work was involved, the balance between them would break. Luan Nian could have opposed the board's decision; he could have taken a firmer stance, but he didn't. Shang Zhitao knew that in his mind, Yilia was eligible to compete. They had worked together for a year, and Yilia was remarkably talented—whether in this proposal or others, she was exceptional. Luan Nian had always despised those rigid rules, often believing that rules existed to be broken.

"So, will you score us fairly?"

"What do you mean by scoring fairly?"

"Meaning you won't factor in that 250 million yuan, because you know I really can't produce 250 million. I just hope that on the day of our interview, you will be fair."

"Can you sway every single reviewer?" Luan Nian didn't answer her directly, asking her this instead.

Shang Zhitao pondered for a few seconds before saying, "I don't want to sway anyone, nor do I want to sway you. You're right—there's no fundamental difference between you telling me or Josh telling me at the dinner table. Get some sleep early."

Shang Zhitao hung up the phone. A short while later, she received a text message from Luan Nian: "Be more confident, Shang Zhitao."

Luan Nian didn't know where her true sticking point lay—he never would. He told her to be more confident, failing to realize that Shang Zhitao was no longer the timid, trembling girl she used to be. She had changed. He assumed Shang Zhitao was afraid of losing, that she felt inferior to others.

She didn't.

Even though she knew that absolute fairness never existed in the corporate world—where human favors, capital, and connections always seemed to take precedence over competence—she still felt that this was Lingmei, the Lingmei that had made an exception to hire her and allowed her to grow rapidly, the Lingmei where anything was possible.

So she didn't feel that she would lose.

She simply wished Luan Nian could treat her with just a tiny bit of uniqueness, telling her directly: "You have one more competitor, but I believe in you. Keep it up."

Just that single sentence would have been enough.

But he didn't say it.

Perhaps in his mind, the outcome was already settled.

Early the next morning, she flew back to the Northwest. The meetings were over, the bosses had been met, and the project still needed to move forward. Phase one of the project was nearing completion, and when government officials came to inspect, they noticed Shang Zhitao looked a shade darker than before, asking her, "Is life in the Northwest tough?"

Shang Zhitao nodded, then shook her head.

The official smiled.

"Whether life in the Northwest is tough, we all know the answer. A young lady like you staying here for so long, working conscientiously without complaining of hardship or fatigue—what are you striving for?"

Probably striving for an ideal.

Shang Zhitao didn't say it aloud. How laughable ideals sounded—if you voiced them, people would ask: Can ideals be exchanged for money? Look at those idealists; they all died on the road to chasing their ideals.

Seeing her remain silent, the official smiled. Having encountered countless people—politicians, business owners, intellectuals, farmers—how could he fail to see what was on the young woman's mind? He said to her, "Don't rush. Take it step by step."

Shang Zhitao nodded.

"So after Phase One wraps up, you'll be returning to Beijing?" the official asked her.

"Yes. I will continue to provide remote service, but Phase Two is the construction stage, so our involvement will be minimal," Shang Zhitao explained patiently.

"That's a shame. It would be wonderful if you took root here," the government official remarked.

"Thank you. If there's an opportunity, I will definitely come back."

After seeing the government official off, Shelly said to her, "What a great opportunity that was just now! You could have had the government leader put in a good word with your company—whether it's the boss's wife or the client side, they'd all have to make way, don't you think?" Though Shelly was far away in the Northwest, she understood corporate politics. Whether you brought 250 million or 2.5 billion, neither was as effective as political leverage.

Shang Zhitao shook her head. "If I used those kinds of tactics to win, I would look down on myself."

Certain principles could never be broken; integrity was always the baseline.

Having worked for six years, Shang Zhitao had long known what the true shortcuts were and how to take them. She could have chosen an easier path, but she didn't want to. She wanted everything she gained to come through legitimate channels. Even if that was completely foolish, she was willing to be that fool.

Holding fast to oneself was the hardest part of possessing an independent personality.

When she returned home that evening and switched on the light, she saw Luan Nian sitting on the sofa. That day, when she left Beijing without saying goodbye, Luan Nian hadn't asked for the reason. Intelligent as he was, he knew the reason full well in his heart.

"Come here."

Shang Zhitao set down her backpack, changed her shoes, and walked over to sit beside him, keeping a slight distance in her posture.

"So, you left without saying goodbye just because I didn't tell you?" Luan Nian asked her.

Shang Zhitao didn't say a word.

"Speak."

"Speak about what?" Shang Zhitao asked him. "Did you speak when you were supposed to? If you didn't, what right do you have to demand that I unconditionally respond every time you speak?"

"Would telling you have changed the outcome?"

"Did you bring about this outcome?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't mean anything."

In the past, Shang Zhitao knew Luan Nian's temper better than anyone, and she understood it today as well. She knew Luan Nian was unhappy—that he was furious. But she didn't want to be affected by him, so she stood up from the sofa and sat in the chair opposite him. After a long pause, once she had completely processed her emotions, she spoke slowly: "I don't mind competing with Yilia. This is the workplace; whoever is capable takes the post. I also don't feel I'm inferior to her. These are the preconditions of our communication today—do you agree?"

Luan Nian remained silent. Shang Zhitao continued, "Then I'll take it that you agree. Based on these preconditions, I wished my boyfriend would personally tell me when he learned of the outcome, so I could be mentally prepared. Is that request unreasonable?"

"It's not unreasonable, but it's meaningless."

"I'm not seeking meaning. I just need my boyfriend to stand on my side without violating his principles." I am seeking my boyfriend's emotional validation of me, Shang Zhitao said in her heart. She suddenly felt that dating Luan Nian was far too exhausting; he understood nothing, and she didn't want to date someone like this anymore.

"So?" Luan Nian asked her.

That single "so" rendered Shang Zhitao momentarily at a loss for words. She felt an indescribable sense of grievance, because at that dinner table, she had been put on the spot like that. She wouldn't have had to be in such an embarrassing position if Luan Nian had told her in advance. But he hadn't.

Shang Zhitao felt she and Luan Nian could never get through to each other—at least not when it came to work. He had his own standards of judgment; everything, good or bad, formed a world of its own. Shang Zhitao could not cross into it.

"You don't need to care who your competitor actually is; just focus on doing your own job well. Is that so difficult?" Luan Nian asked her.

Shang Zhitao pursed her lips in silence, as they fell into an inexplicably tense standoff. After a long, long time, the wind picked up outside, rattling the window frame. Shang Zhitao finally opened her mouth to speak: "Everything you said is right—no matter who tells me, the outcome is actually the same. My mistake was assuming you were different from everyone else. Now I know." She would never get Luan Nian to bow his head or say a soft word, nor would she ever become the kind of extraordinarily talented person in his heart who was worth him stepping forward to break the rules for.

"I suggest you calm down," Luan Nian said. "This isn't a big deal."

"It isn't to you."

"Is it to you? You're this angry simply because you feel I didn't give you special treatment, aren't you? Fine, I'll tell you right now—I will always keep work and life strictly separate, and I suggest you separate them too, otherwise you won't be able to handle yourself."

"Fine. I understand. I've separated them now."

"So is this work right now, or life?"

"Work," Shang Zhitao replied. "Today, tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that—it's all work." She walked over to the door and pulled it open. "I don't need my big boss giving me special favors."

Luan Nian raised his leg to leave, stepping one foot out the door before pulling it back. "Whether you admit it or not, you just feel a sense of crisis about Yilia joining the competition. After all these years, you still can't face competition candidly. Your core issue is a lack of confidence."

"I'll say it one more time—I just don't like being informed of this news at a dinner table."

"What if you weren't my girlfriend? If you were told this news at a dinner table, who would you blame then? Blame the board of directors? Blame Yilia's background that brought in a 250-million-yuan order? Blame your new boss for bad timing? Why should I pay the price for your lack of confidence?"

Shang Zhitao felt her throat choke up.

She didn't speak, because if she opened her mouth, she would burst into tears. She merely raised her hand slightly in a gesture asking him to leave.

Luan Nian left without looking back.

Shang Zhitao had a good cry in the shower. She was extraordinarily angry with Luan Nian—more so than any time before. Stepping out of the bathroom, she heard the sound of the door opening and saw Luan Nian entering, tossing his things aside, and beginning to strip off his clothes.

Shang Zhitao didn't want to talk to him, turning toward the bedroom instead, only to be dragged back by Luan Nian and pinned against the wall. Shang Zhitao's bath towel fell to the floor as they engaged in a silent contest. Having gone months without intimacy, Shang Zhitao was intensely sensitive, surrendering as soon as it began.

Holding her limp, fluid-like body, Luan Nian bit her lip hard. "You don't trust me, do you?"

Shang Zhitao remained silent, while Luan Nian drove deeply into her. "Speak!"

"I don't."

"You only trust Sun Yuanzhu, don't you?" Luan Nian pushed hard into her. "Hmm?"

"Yes!"

Neither spoke anymore. Luan Nian grew increasingly fierce, while Shang Zhitao clenched her teeth, refusing to make a sound. Though she was clearly experiencing pleasure, she made it seem as if he were forcing her.

Luan Nian suddenly felt it was entirely devoid of interest.

His movements came to a halt, and he looked into Shang Zhitao's eyes. "You're really boring, you know that?"

When he was angry, he possessed a strong urge to hurt others—a flaw he could never seem to fix. Standing up, he put on his clothes and truly left this time.

Shang Zhitao didn't reach out to him, nor did Luan Nian reach out to her.

Sun Yu called her frequently, telling her, "Yuanzhu ate a bit more today."

"Besides medication, he's undergoing psychological intervention and other treatment methods. He's noticeably improving and smiled a few times today." Sun Yu could never bring herself to say what those other treatment methods actually were; she felt it was far too cruel.

"His company had its anniversary, and he went to attend it. He even performed a routine with his colleagues—I'll send the video to you so you can enjoy it."

"When are you coming back? Sun Yuanzhu said we should go watch a midnight movie together."

Shang Zhitao felt that even though life was mundane, the fact that Sun Yuanzhu was showing signs of improvement was a very, very good thing.

When she returned to Beijing to resume her duties, she went to Luan Nian's house to see Luke. She played with Luke for a long time. "Once I return for good, I'll take you back home with me. Although our own home is small, it's still home, right?"

Luan Nian stood aside with a frown, keeping quiet. Shang Zhitao looked up at Luan Nian and said, "Luke doesn't seem to want to go home with me."

"You think Luke is as heartless as you?" Luan Nian remarked, stepping up to cook. Shang Zhitao stood beside him, watching him sear steaks, and said to him, "I'll have mine medium-well."

"There's none for you."

"Then I'll eat yours."

Luan Nian looked back at her, a barely perceptible sense of grievance suddenly rising in his heart. Luan Nian had truly never let himself feel aggrieved before, and even he found the feeling novel.

The two of them each had a portion of steak pasta alongside avocado milkshakes Luan Nian had made, both of which tasted delicious. Shang Zhitao loved Luan Nian's steak pasta so much that she couldn't get used to it in any restaurant, nor could she get used to anyone else's osmanthus milk. No one could brew that specific flavor.

"Can I drink the osmanthus milk you make tomorrow morning?" Shang Zhitao asked him.

"Mm."