Spring of the Blade - Chapter 70
Chapter 70
So, the faint premonition from earlier was not false after all.
Qingyuan stood there, as if struggling to digest the news. Once he finished speaking, she choked slightly, then lowered her head and murmured, "Perhaps... perhaps not."
A girl capable of bearing burdens will remain standing no matter how great the storm. Seeing her furrow her brow, with tears flickering in her eyes, he suddenly felt that the situation he had painstakingly orchestrated was somewhat cruel to her.
Yet, the Xie family was even crueler. She was not unaware, and she had been prepared, but now that it had actually happened—now that she had been tossed aside like a discarded piece—she still could not help but feel miserable.
"If you don't believe me, go see for yourself." He cast a glance toward the main gate, clearly intending to help her quickly grasp the reality of her situation.
Hearing this, Qingyuan lifted her skirts and ran. Her heart was anxious, and her footsteps were hurried. He followed behind her, calling out, "Slow down, don't trip." She acted as if she had heard nothing. Finally reaching the gate, the light from the red lanterns soaked the vast, empty grounds before the mansion. By the戟 (halberd) racks and the mounting stone, it was empty. The carriage that had brought her was nowhere to be seen; the Old Madam really had abandoned her and left.
This July summer night was truly cold. She stood there with her sleeves hanging down and shivered violently. Behind her, someone approached with broad robes and loose sleeves, stopping in her peripheral vision. With a mocking tone, he said, "Look, how fickle the hearts of men truly are in this world. Fourth Miss, your own family does not want you. It is fortunate that it is me you have encountered."
She said nothing, staring blankly into the night, as if she wanted to plunge into that darkness. Shen Run was quite understanding; for a young girl in the bloom of her youth to be delivered into a man's home in such a murky, unexplained way—how could she not be sorrowful?
She was likely despondent. In this vast, turbulent world, with her strength and power so meager, what was left for a young girl who had lost her home and her support? It was truly shocking that the Xie family could cast aside their face so easily. For such a flourishing, prestigious house to treat a young lady as a mere gift to deliver at a critical moment—no wonder the descendants of the Xie family were growing worse with each generation. The good fortune inherited by the forebears must be coming to an end.
The two stood shoulder to shoulder, staring blankly at the night outside. Shen Run said, "Look on the bright side. For a family like that, it is just as well that you do not return. From now on, you have no family burdens, and the survival of the Xie family has nothing to do with you. Isn't that worth being happy about?"
After a long pause, she replied, "What is there to be happy about!"
Perhaps she felt that the path of life was dim and the other shore was nowhere in sight. Shen Run sighed; she was a child after all. No matter how strong-willed she was, once abandoned by her family, that terror and despair would still break her.
He wanted to offer her some comfort, so he said gently, "Do not worry. Since you have arrived at my residence, I will naturally look after you."
But the moment he finished speaking, she began to wipe away tears. He was somewhat surprised, surmising she might be sad because he was about to be betrothed to the Mu girl. He was considering whether to tell her the truth when he heard her mutter in complaint, "Even if you were going to use me as a gift to someone else, you should have at least made it clear. I didn't even have time to pack the dowry that Grandmother Chen gave me..."
He stood there stunned. So, her sorrow had nothing to do with him at all. The Fourth Miss was indeed a clear-headed and realistic girl; in this world, nothing could be relied upon—only money was dependable. Her regret was not that the Xie family did not want her, but that she hadn't brought her personal savings, and now she was penniless.
In truth, he did not know that this was merely a pretext she had found to alleviate her embarrassment. She was at a loss as to where to go. Although she had prepared for the worst—such as the Xie family letting her become Shen Run’s concubine—she had at least expected some sort of explanation, rather than being shoved into someone else’s residence in the middle of the night. What did this count as now? Her dignity had been trampled under the feet of her own blood relatives. In their eyes, she was not a person; at best, she was an object to curry favor with others.
A profound sense of desolation and unwillingness to submit kept her standing there for the time it takes to burn a stick of incense. He remained by her side, accompanying her, but their states of mind were vastly different. To Commander Shen, it was a beautiful night with a beauty by his side; it had been a long time since he had enjoyed the night view so leisurely.
However, standing like this forever was not a solution. He said, "Miss, let us return and discuss this at length."
Qingyuan indeed had nowhere else to go and had to return to the garden with him. As she walked, she asked, "Commander, how do you intend to handle today’s business?"
He gave an "um" and said, "How to handle it? Naturally, I will accept the gift with a smile."
Qingyuan’s heart thundered. Feeling both humiliated and indignant, she clenched her fists and said, "If the Xie family treats me this way, why should I continue to plead for them! Just pretend I never came, Commander. You can save yourself the trouble and stand by as a spectator."
The young girl was very decisive. He turned to look at her with approval, but while speaking like that was good for venting anger, it was not truly possible.
"You are a member of the Xie family, after all. Since you haven't been removed from the clan register or taken off the official government records, if Xie Shu commits a capital crime and the entire Xie family is implicated, you will not be able to remain unscathed." He walked under the flowering trees with his hands tucked into his sleeves and suddenly stopped, lowering his head to ask her, "Have you heard of collective punishment? The women of the household are sold into slavery, and the men are sent to the front lines as soldiers."
Qingyuan was stunned, knowing he must have been thinking of the suffering the Shen family had endured in the past.
A silk lantern hung under the lush Magnolia tree, suspended right above his head. He stood in that faint circle of light, raised his hands to pull his long hair to his chest, and then flipped open his collar to show her, "What do you see?"
Qingyuan was startled. On the back of his neck, she discovered a criminal brand: a circular mark with the character for "servitude" (å……) pricked in ink. As time passed, the ink had turned a deep blue, but the trace of every needle prick remained clearly visible. No matter how immense the wealth, one could not erase this period of humiliation and this ugly scar.
Those deer-like eyes looked at him in confusion. He smiled, "It should have been carved on my face, but back then, the Emperor secretly bribed the guards to go easy on me, so I wasn't disfigured. You see, once you are convicted, this is the state you are in. Even if you manage to escape by luck, for a young girl like you, it is not a good thing if your maiden family collapses."
Qingyuan remained in a daze, her gaze fixed on the brand, unable to move away. He sensed it, and his hand, which was about to close his collar, paused. "Not enough looking?" he teased, lowering his shoulder and winking at her, "How about this? Do you like this?"
For a grown man to be disheveled with his shoulder exposed was, ultimately, not very elegant. Qingyuan blushed after two glances, also lamenting that the Commander had excellent bone structure and a handsome face. However, his identity was clear; even if they were in his own residence, it was not good if someone saw this.
Blushing, she reached out two fingers to pull his collar back up. "Don't be like this; be careful of catching a cold."
His gaze flowed with emotion, his smile deepening. He was not insistent; as she covered him up, he rearranged his robes and threw his hair back behind him.
Qingyuan dared not look at him anymore, feeling that this man was simply bizarre. Clad in armor, he was a stern martial general; with his helmet removed and his hair let down, he was three parts more dashing than those refined noble young masters.
Some people were clearly very self-aware of their beauty and loved to use it to be bold—the flowering trees, the silk lantern, the elegant face... His fingers shifted over, still carrying a trace of hair scent, and gently flicked the small pendant swaying from her earlobe. He said in a husky voice, "You look very beautiful wearing this."
Qingyuan hurriedly covered her ears and stepped aside. "Let us return to the matter at hand."
He was slightly disappointed, resentful that she could not catch his romantic advances; the Fourth Miss was too proper. Thus, he crossed his arms, turned his head, and said arrogantly, "Let me think—where were we?"
"We were talking about whether or not to save the Xie family," she kindly reminded him.
He glanced at her sideways, "Oh, right. One takes money to resolve disasters for others, and since this time it is not money, but you, naturally I must save them. Besides, I am counting on winning merit to be appointed Jiedushi, so I can earn a noble title for my wife."
That was right; she had almost forgotten. He had someone he was going to marry, and he would never wait for her nod again.
To say she was sad—there was a little bit. There was a sour, uncomfortable feeling in her heart, but it was hard to voice. He was planning a future, and the fact that she was included in that future was the greatest awkwardness of all. The Mu girl had done nothing wrong; to have her wedge herself in at the moment they were to be betrothed—would she not be as infuriated as Qingyuan was when she stumbled upon Li Congxin?
She sighed quietly, tucked her hands into her sleeves, and composed herself. The dignified and steady Fourth Miss returned. She said coolly, "If you can save the Xie family while achieving your own fame, that is for the best. As you said before, the total collapse of the Xie family would not benefit me. It is just that the Old Madam using me to honor the Commander makes me very resentful. After all, I am a human being, not a cat or a dog; I cannot be trampled upon at will."
He remained calm and collected, "I know the Fourth Miss has a proud spirit and refuses to be manipulated. But you are alone in Youzhou, and you have just broken off your engagement with the Danyang Marquis’s estate. You have no money and no relatives to turn to—what else can you do? In my opinion, stay in my residence. As long as I have food to eat, you will not go hungry. What do you think?"
A helpless smile appeared on her face as she shook her head, "If you could let me leave, I would be even more grateful to you."
He was displeased by this and frowned, "I don't want your gratitude; I just want you to stay in my residence. The Fourth Miss is a smart person; you should know that I went to such great lengths precisely to achieve this goal. If you leave—a young girl all by herself—it is too dangerous..." He paused and rubbed his forehead, "I remember now: the Chen family had prepared some people for you. But I have arranged for those men to join the Xi-Long Guard. They are now eating the Emperor's grain, holding official posts, and cannot attend to you."
Qingyuan was dumbfounded. Aside from being stunned, there was really nothing left to say.
"What is wrong?" He looked at her with lingering, tender eyes, "Are you unwilling to be with me?"
The quiet, ambiguous tone was delivered, and she could even feel his warm breath.
Qingyuan lowered her head, her earlobes burning, "The Commander is soon to be betrothed; I beg you to treat the Mu girl with your whole heart and do not let her down."
He raised his brows, "I have my own plans. How does that hinder her? Furthermore, in matters of affection, one should speak of priority. In my heart, you were the first I set my sights on."
Qingyuan could hear that he was intentionally trying to belittle her, talking about "priority" to mock her and Li Congxin. Although her choice had indeed been wrong, she never regretted keeping her word. But a good start did not necessarily lead to a good ending. Now that she was in a difficult situation, it was indeed fate.
"I am already at a dead end; what more do you want, Commander?" she said miserably, "I cannot return to the Xie family, nor can I return to Hengtang."
"You don't need to go anywhere. Staying by my side is enough." Shen Run was very satisfied with everything so far. He turned to look at the moonlight and then at the beautiful scenery before him, giving a low chuckle, "Miss, you do not know that I have been looking forward to this day for a long time. Even now, it feels like a dream."
Qingyuan looked at him, having nothing to say. He, however, was in high spirits, leaning on his knees and lowering his gaze to look directly into her face, "In these past days, have you ever dreamed of me?"
She felt a bit panicked and shook her head.
He sighed, "But I have dreamed of you. There are still several days before the betrothal; for these few days, I am yours alone. Take advantage of these few days to dream of me properly—can you do that?"
Qingyuan's mind was in total chaos. She took two steps back and continued to shake her head, "Do not be fickle; one should see things through to the end."
He smiled with a furrowed brow, "But your noble family has gifted you to me, asking me to help your father escape his predicament—can you be the master of your own destiny now?"
Qingyuan froze, only then realizing that this situation was truly irredeemable. She was no different from those singing girls, all at the mercy of others. The only piece of luck was that the man was him—she had once had feelings for him, and even now, she secretly liked him. It was a pity; once people are no longer equals, nothing can be discussed. She was no longer the Fourth Miss of the Xie family, yet he was still that high-and-mighty Commander. Romantic love was no longer possible; she would likely end up as his concubine or an unnamed mistress outside the house, just like her mother.
The light from the silk lantern suddenly became blinding. She turned away in haste and covered her eyes with her hands. Tears seeped out from between her fingers; it seemed no matter how she tried to hide them, she could not stop them. Thinking of her mother made her feel ashamed. Her long-term efforts were only because she did not want to walk the same old path as her mother, yet after all her schemes and calculations, it was ultimately all in vain.
Her thin shoulders shook slightly with sobs. With her back to him, she looked lonely and helpless. He began to hesitate—or perhaps he should just tell her. In fact, he had no intention of being betrothed to the Mu girl. Releasing this news was only to force the Xie family to completely give up on her. Hadn't she always missed her grandparents from the Chen family and wanted to return? Only by leaving the Xie family with no choice could she successfully marry from the Chen family as she wished.
Keeping a secret and giving her a surprise was truly a torturous thing. He was also a bit displeased, annoyed that even in such a difficult situation, she still refused to let go and admit she had feelings for him, or to beg him not to marry the Mu girl. This child was too proud and too aloof; she disdained to compete with others. In the end, it was because she did not love him enough. Even though he was almost burning up on his side, she still remained indifferent.
He hardened his heart. Even if it was to punish her, he had to continue hiding the truth from her. "Alright, stop crying. I have ordered someone to prepare a bedchamber for you; stay here for now, and I will make other arrangements in a couple of days." He reached out to tug at her sleeve, "I will escort you to your courtyard."
Qingyuan’s merit was her excellent emotional self-control. Although there was a moment of impropriety, she calmed down very quickly. She wiped her tears, shielded her face with a round fan, and said with a stuffy nose, "I have let the Commander see me make a fool of myself again. Once I cry, my heart feels clearer."
He nodded, "I understand the hardships of the Miss and sympathize with your plight. As for our business, there is no hurry for now; you can think about it some more, and once you have figured it out, you can just let me know."
This sounded very reasonable. Qingyuan exhaled in relief and followed slowly behind him. Along the way, there were lantern pavilions; inside those small stone-cast niches were oil lamps covered on all four sides with bright tiles. Even if the wind blew, the spark of fire inside would not go out, burning until dawn.
However, although he said he would send her to her courtyard, he ultimately led her back to the garden from earlier. With a look of triumph in his eyes, he stood at the gate and gestured with his hand, "We have arrived."
She looked at him hesitantly, "Are you tricking me?"
He said no, "You and I live in the same courtyard; what is mine is yours."
She became alert and watched him with suspicion, "What are you thinking?"
Shen Run thought that he could not tell her what he was thinking; if he said it out loud, he was afraid she would climb the wall and escape. So, he looked into the depths of the courtyard with feigned nonchalance, "It is late at night, and there is no time to prepare anything else. Why not live in what is ready? Don't worry, my courtyard is very clean; I have never taken in any other women." As he spoke, he moved forward leisurely. He stopped at the steps and pointed to a side room, "Even if the Fourth Miss covets my beauty, I will not give you the chance to share a room with me. That room is yours."
Qingyuan glanced at him with great disdain, "Have your subordinates and Fangchun seen you in this state?"
He smiled lazily, "I only show this side to you. They will never have the chance to see this in their entire lives."
She did not want to see it either. Helplessly, since she was under his roof, she decided not to quibble too much. It was just that she did not know where Baoxian had been taken. She looked toward the courtyard gate, "My maid..."
He had no intention of calling the maid in, only saying, "Nanny Zhou will arrange it; you need not worry." Saying this, he stepped onto the stairs and pushed open the lattice door.
The room was serene and clean, with snowy-white curtains and golden silk drapes hanging in tiers. He did not say much else, telling her there was a place to bathe in the back, and then, without lingering, he honestly stepped out. From the half-open window, she watched him saunter back to his bedchamber and close the door. The candlelight cast his silhouette onto the Korean paper of the door; he even carefully bolted the door, as if afraid she would break in in the middle of the night.
Qingyuan muttered a few words of criticism to herself and turned to look around. The unfamiliar environment made her feel anxious; this was her first time away from home, spending the night in someone else's mansion alone... But everything seemed to have been arranged very thoroughly. There were brand-new clothes by the bedside, and unopened lead powder and rouge on the vanity. She walked over and lowered her head to inspect them one by one. In a celadon water dish, a single love pea (rosary pea) was resting, and on the surface of the hand mirror sat that snarling, grimacing Taotie plaque.