Spring of the Blade - Chapter 65
Chapter 65
When Commander Shen grew angry, it usually meant someone was going to die. Yet this time, while he claimed to be angry, his tone was actually full of resentment—if he hadn't stated it outright, she might not even have noticed.
Was he truly angry? Qingyuan looked at him carefully. He was frowning, and those deep eyes of his looked somewhat misted over. It wasn't the first time they had been this close, but to be face-to-face in the broad light of day, with the tips of their noses almost touching, was undeniably the first time.
His palms were warm, supporting her back, and she could even feel a slight tremor in him. The world spoke of the Commander of the Dianqian Office as a ferocious, cruel, and all-powerful figure, yet no one ever knew that he was even more skilled at using that gentle tone, that unique, poignant resentment, to spirit away a girl’s soul.
Qingyuan looked at him, and her heart stirred for no reason. She was not afraid of him; she liked him very much. Perhaps they were the same kind of people. She couldn't remember who she had heard it from, but only those of the same kind were attracted to one another. Yet, they both had their own paths to walk; a hair’s breadth of difference could lead to a thousand li of separation... Li Chunzhi was a good man, and the Second Miss Mu was a good match. Splitting these two people into two pairs was, in the greatest sense, the way to achieve perfection.
Back in Hengtang, she had vaguely heard that the wife of the Inspection Commissioner and her father had nearly married, only to have them eventually build separate lives and families. They still visited each other often, which was actually quite nice. As for her and him, perhaps it would be better not to see each other from now on. If they didn't see each other, she wouldn't miss him, and after a while, she would simply forget.
"Do not be angry," she said, frowning. "There are so many good girls in the world. The Second Miss Mu is better than I am; she has a better background and better looks... She is prettier than I am."
"Nonsense," he said, appearing displeased. "I do not like girls who are too tall."
He only liked someone like her—with her exquisite face and a petite frame that he could lift up in one arm.
Sweetness surged through her body. The gentle breeze of the afternoon, the swallows nesting under the eaves—these were the most beautiful embellishments of midsummer. Leaning so close, she knew full well the intimacy of the posture, yet she could not bear to separate.
Footsteps could be heard faintly at the entrance of the hall. Some insensitive person shouted from a distance: "Comm—" Before the word "Commander" could be uttered, Shen Run snatched up a brush washer from the desk and hurled it. It shattered with a bang on the floor, and then the world fell silent.
Unfortunately, Qingyuan was jolted awake by the noise and hurriedly tried to pull away, but his arms tightened around her. With ragged breaths, he leaned over... leaned over... intending to press his lips against hers.
She hurriedly turned her face away, murmuring, "Don't do this, I am afraid..."
He stopped as expected. With a light sigh, he let her go, supporting himself on the desk as he said, "Forgive me. I could not control myself, and I startled you. However, you just called me 'Shen Run.' Even if you were scolding me, I felt that name sounded quite pleasant coming from your lips."
Qingyuan couldn't help but laugh. "Does the Commander wish to boast about himself again?"
He said no. "I merely felt that you calling me by my given name like that was very intimate. When we meet in the future, just call me Shen Run."
Qingyuan felt a surge of sorrow, thinking that there would likely be no such opportunity, but she could not say so. The more she said, the more flaws would appear—it would be unfair to him, and unfair to Li Congxin as well.
"Take care of yourself from now on," she said, trying to keep her tone light. "I will live well, too, so do not worry about me. If there is a need for thanks, I thank you endlessly, so I shall say no more."
With that, she turned to look toward the hall door, feeling a secret sense of shame. Her visit here had felt like a secret tryst; she wondered if Baoxian had seen it.
Shen Run knew she was about to leave. He took his sword from the wall and said, "I will see you off."
Qingyuan shook her head. "There is no need. My carriage is waiting outside the palace gate; I can go back on my own." As she spoke, she backed away, retreating down the steps and onto the pathway. She smiled and said, "If I am still in Youzhou when you and the Second Miss Mu marry, I will certainly send a gift and ask for a cup of wedding wine."
He did not answer her, simply watching her. She stepped back, offered a polite curtsy, and turned to head toward the hall entrance.
As soon as she crossed the threshold, Baoxian came forward to meet her, holding her arm and asking, "Miss, did you make everything clear?"
Qingyuan nodded. "Let us go back."
Yet she was melancholy for the entire journey. When Baoxian asked her what was wrong, she only smiled without answering. A long time later, she let out a long sigh: "I suddenly feel that I have lost my courage. If the Madam comes to scheme against me again, I do not know if I have the ability to fight back."
Baoxian understood her meaning. People were naturally prone to laziness; when one has someone reliable to lean on, the heart feels composed. Once that support is suddenly gone, the sense of loss is more painful than if it had never existed at all.
She patted her mistress’s hand to comfort her: "Once the marriage is settled, you will only have to wait to be married off. After that, everything in the Xie family will have nothing to do with you. The Madam cannot go to the Marquis’s estate to harm you, and you have a bright future ahead."
Qingyuan leaned against the carriage cushion, her heart gradually settling. She said softly, "That is well, too. I want to return to Hengtang, to the Chen family. My grandfather and grandmother are both getting on in years; if I am closer to them, it will be easier for me to take care of them."
Such is life—how can everything always go as one wishes? There is always a loss for every gain. When she returned from the capital, it was already dark. She entered Huifang Garden to report to the Old Madam, saying that the Third Sister had been selected as a Cairen and that an imperial decree would be delivered to the front gate tomorrow.
The Old Madam was stunned for a long time after hearing this, seemingly unable to understand why Qingrong had been selected. In her heart, that was a child who did not stand out—born as if she didn't matter, raised as if she didn't matter. If one spoke of beauty, she could not compare to Qingyuan or Qingru; if one spoke of talent, she could not compare to Qinghe. Yet, she had been selected and had entered the palace, never to return, with only the goal of climbing higher. The Old Madam reflected on the child, whom she had never valued, and suddenly felt incredibly sorry for her now that she had entered the palace.
However, all in all, it was another ray of light amidst the gloom of the past few days. The eldest girl was promised to the Earl’s family, the fourth girl was about to marry into the Danyang Marquis’s estate, and the third girl had entered the palace as a Cairen. Even with the stain of the second girl, the Xie family could barely account for themselves to their ancestors. The Old Madam grew happy again. Patting her knees, she said, "Very well. When the young Marquis comes tomorrow, let the marriage be settled. You have traveled between Youzhou and the capital in a single day; you must be truly exhausted. Go back and get a good rest. Once you are well-rested, everything can begin anew."
Qingyuan said yes and retreated from the main hall. But as for resting, she truly could not sleep well. She had countless dreams throughout the night. In the middle of the night, she reached under her pillow to feel for the small purse, but could not find it. She suddenly woke up, remembering that she had returned the jade pendant to him and that he would soon be engaged to another girl.
Sorrow welled up, and her heart felt sour—so sour that all sleepiness vanished. When she woke the next day, her mind was still groggy. Li Congxin, however, arrived early in the morning.
The main hall was full of people. The morning greetings had just been completed, and the wives and concubines of the various branches had not yet dispersed when a matron came through the moon gate to report that the young Marquis was waiting outside. The Old Madam said "oh" in surprise. "It is so hot; hurry and invite him in."
Although Li Congxin felt shocked by the fate of the Second Miss Xie, it did not shake his determination to marry the Fourth Miss. He made a long bow to the Old Madam sitting in the seat of honor. "I have followed your instruction, Old Madam, and rested for the night. My heart today is the same as it was yesterday: I will marry no one but the Fourth Miss."
The people present were all happy to see this result; after all, given the Fourth Miss’s background, being able to marry into a Marquis’s estate was a massive stroke of good fortune. Only Madam Hu felt extremely awkward. Qingru had been made into something neither human nor ghost, and Brother Chunzhi, whom she cared about most, had likely gotten to the bottom of the truth by now. Before, she might still have been able to secure a place, but now, her face was completely lost.
The Old Madam sighed deeply. "Since the Marquis and Marchioness of your estate have the desire to see this union accomplished, and you, young Marquis, are so sincere, I have nothing left to say. The Master is away, but that does not matter. I will make this decision: let the marriage be settled first. When the Master returns in triumph, we will hold the grand formal ceremony then."
Li Congxin was overjoyed and bowed deeply. "Thank you, Grandmother, for your favor... Thank you, Madam, and all my aunts and concubines."
What a truly likable child, everyone laughed. Lady Jiang let out an "Aiyou" and teased, "Since you are already changing how you address us, shouldn't we be asking for a gift for this change of address?"
Qinghe had been standing with Qingyuan. Seeing that the marriage was settled, she smiled and bowed to her. "Congratulations, Fourth Sister. I have often looked forward to this; now we will have company from here on out."
Qingyuan only smiled. She had no great obsessions regarding the major affairs of life; if it was settled, then it was settled. However, when it came to a girl’s marriage, she was inevitably a bit shy. She lowered her eyes. To Li Congxin, the Fourth Miss looked elegant even in her shyness. Perhaps his mother did not like her now, but once she passed through their door, the whole family would naturally know her virtues.
In the past, he had to be cautious about this and that when speaking to her; now it was better. At least in the garden, he could openly walk side by side with her.
He looked at her, and the heart that had been suspended in mid-air finally returned to its place. He was not unaware of her entanglement with Shen Run. She had gone to the Dianqian Office yesterday; while he was not particularly pleased, he did not intend to pursue it too much.
It was she who did not intend to hide it from him, saying truthfully, "I went to see Shen Run yesterday. Do you know that, Third Young Master?"
He felt even more reassured. He said "en" and replied, "I have heard."
Qingyuan hesitated for a moment and said, "He had something of his left with me previously; I went to return it... If you know, will you be unhappy?"
Li Congxin laughed. "How could I be unhappy? Knowing you went to see him, I am even more relieved. I know that the Fourth Miss has made up her mind to marry me, so what else could I possibly be dissatisfied with? The only thing I am dissatisfied with is that you still call me 'Third Young Master.' I want to hear you call me 'Brother Chunzhi.' Not to mention our engagement, even based on my friendship with your brothers, calling me that would not be a breach of etiquette."
His gaze was focused and profound. In the countless soft, warm days to come, he imagined it would be just like this, a gentle, comfortable contentment.
Qingyuan’s round fan covered half her face, leaving only her charming eyes visible. The young girl looked endearing, and although she was a bit shy about changing how she addressed him, she raised her fan slightly higher, finally covering her entire face. Through the thin, golden-threaded silk, a faint outline was reflected. A soft "Brother Chunzhi" melted one's heart.
Li Congxin blushed uncontrollably. He was only twenty, and although he had seen plenty of romance, his feelings for Qingyuan were not like those for other girls—his affection was mixed with a touch of reverence; he dared not show off, nor did he dare to be reckless. The marriage he had fought so hard for was naturally handled with extreme care. Hearing those four words linger on her lips, he suddenly felt that all the bitterness of the past month had been worth it. His sincerity had been rewarded; this girl would be his from now on.
The only thing lacking was the formal ceremony. He thought for a moment and said, "The war outside the pass should not last too long. I originally wanted to set the formal betrothal today, but since the Old Madam has spoken, waiting for the General’s triumphant return is not a bad idea. I thought about it carefully yesterday. If I handle everything on my own, it might seem a bit disrespectful. Since we have plenty of time, I will have my mother brought here. When that time comes, we will complete the Six Rites together and then... we shall be married."
Marriage. Listening to that word, Qingyuan felt it was still very far away. But a girl’s time as an unmarried woman is short; once she comes of age, the day of her wedding is not far behind.
She said, "Very well. But the road is long and arduous; I would hate for your mother to endure such hardship. Or perhaps we do not need to make such a grand display for the gift-exchange? Like the Eldest Sister’s wedding, the brothers here can send the bride off; we can do the same then."
He did not insist, merely saying vaguely, "I will handle these matters. Do not worry." The two walked slowly side by side on the garden’s shaded path. After a few steps, he stopped and called out, "Fourth Sister."
Qingyuan was puzzled and looked at him in confusion, not knowing what he wanted to say. He feigned composure, though his smile could not be hidden, and he said somewhat clumsily, "I... I am truly so happy. I never dreamed in my wildest dreams that I would be able to marry you."
Qingyuan could not help but laugh. "It is I who have climbed high to marry you; it is I who should be the one saying I never dreamed of this."
"No, no..." He hurriedly waved his hands, then gathered his courage, took her hand into his palm, and said with the utmost piety, "I have never cared about your background; what I care about is you as a person. My family’s Old Madam also said that your mother might not have been without injustice; it is just that in the deep chambers of a large estate, some truths are covered up. Once time passes, no one is willing to flip them over again."
Qingyuan felt comforted hearing this. "Your family’s Old Madam must dote on you very much, right?"
Li Congxin laughed. "The older generation always dotes on the younger ones more. I grew up by my grandmother’s side; she doted on me, and in the future, she will surely dote on you as well."
Yet, this doting was all built upon him—the primary requirement was that she had to be in his eyes.
The young Marquis had lived a life where everything went his way. Though the marriage had taken some effort, it was finally accomplished. As for the Xie family, they had experienced the ordeal of the Second Sister, but everything thereafter went smoothly. The decree promoting the Third Sister to Cairen arrived, and two days later, the gift of the betrothal request from the Earl’s family also arrived. The date for the Eldest Sister’s wedding was set for the eighth day of the second lunar month.
In the circles of Youzhou’s nobility, rumors flew fast. The Old Madam’s old friends occasionally visited, praising the three sisters to the skies, all while pointedly avoiding the Second Sister as if she had disappeared or died. Even when the Old Madam intentionally or unintentionally tried to explain, others had no intention of entertaining it; they would merely roll their tongues and move the conversation elsewhere.
That day, the Old Madam of the Magistrate Mu’s family came for a visit. After chatting about household matters for a while, they finally spoke of the palace selection. The Old Madam sighed: "I looked at your Second Miss that day; she was flawless from head to toe. How did she end up not being selected?"
The Old Madam of the Magistrate’s house smiled: "It is simply that she lacks the fortune for it. She has been frail since childhood, and we have pampered her like a treasure until she grew up. If she had been sent into the palace—and I will not hide this from you, Old Sister—I was afraid there would be no one to look after her. Once the child is away from my side, I cannot rest easy."
The Old Madam said "oh" in realization. "That is true. With a frail constitution, it is better to stay at home where it is secure. In any case, the girl is beautiful, and she will not have to worry about a high official coming to propose to her in the future."
The Old Madam of the Magistrate’s house laughed at this. "I take your kind words. It so happens that the wife of Prince Keqin acted as a matchmaker, coming on behalf of the Dianqian Office Commander. I originally thought that while the Shen family’s status is glorious now, they suffered disasters in the past; if something were to happen, there wouldn't be many in the clan who could help. But thinking about it more carefully, not having a mother-in-law to serve is not a bad thing for a girl. You and I have both been daughters-in-law; a mother-in-law setting rules is not like being at home—one suffers great hardships." She smiled and added, "I am acting out of selfishness, but from this perspective, it is a good match. Our girl has been pampered since childhood and is frail; she cannot endure hardship. If there is no one above to make things difficult for her, and if the young couple is harmonious, it saves so much trouble. Furthermore, the Dianqian Office is a hot-seat in front of the Holy One; establishing this connection is also beneficial to us."
The Old Madam responded with polite agreement, though her heart felt a bit bitter. But what could be done? A girl cannot be promised to two households. Besides, the status of the Danyang Marquis’s estate was, after all, higher than that of the Shen family. With the Fourth Girl settling on the Marquis’s estate, it was truly not a bad outcome.
However, the Fourth Girl probably wasn't very happy. The Old Madam subconsciously looked for her, but she was nowhere to be seen—she must have returned to her own courtyard. Just as she was about to send Yuequan to check, she caught a glimpse of her through the lattice window. She and Qinghe were whispering to each other, laughing as they spoke. The Old Madam felt a surge of melancholy; Qingyuan was truly a child of great wisdom who could keep her composure. If there was nothing between her and Shen Run, it would be hard to make people believe it, but she was determined to keep her promise to the young Marquis. Since she had said she was letting go of Shen Run, she had truly let him go.
Later, after seeing off the Old Madam of the Magistrate’s house, Qinghe and Qingyuan came in together to report. Qinghe said: "Grandmother, there is an 'Evening Banquet at Donggao' tomorrow, and all the noble ladies of Youzhou will be there. The daughter of the Censor invited me, and the wife of the Jiedushi invited the Fourth Sister. We have come to ask your permission—may we go?"
The Old Madam naturally knew of this banquet; like the Spring Banquet in Hengtang, it was more of an opportunity for young men and women to see one another. Surely Lanshan and Chunzhi would both be there. Since the young ones could not see each other often, there was no reason for a grandmother to obstruct them. She gave her permission, telling them only to bring more maids and to return early.