Spring of the Blade - Chapter 46

Chapter 46

Qingyuan felt as if she had been struck by lightning. She couldn't tell how much of those few sentences were true or false, but having heard them, every hair on her body stood on end. Today, the Commander was a thousand times more terrifying than usual.

She took a half-step back, watching him warily. In the lamplight, the man possessed a lithe, tall figure and a countenance as bright and clear as a full moon. There are many types of military generals—some are boorish and reckless, others are refined and scholarly like him. However, no matter how refined or scholarly he appeared, it could not conceal the inherent aggression in his bones. She was not moved by his words, nor did she feel the shy, secret joy of an ordinary sheltered girl; she only sensed danger. After retreating one step, she realized it wasn't far enough, so she took another, then managed a stiff smile. "Commander, please, stop joking."

Shen Run had long anticipated this reaction, yet seeing it unfold before him still caused him to knit his brows in dissatisfaction.

"Does a man like me seem like the type to joke with others? Fourth Miss, refusing to engage with my words and brushing me off like this—that is truly uncalled for."

If this had been an ordinary girl, a little teasing and a little coy hesitation would have been enough to throw her heart into chaos. But Qingyuan was different. In other matters, she was like a lotus root, riddled with secret channels of thought; yet when it came to romantic matters, she was like a yam—looking fancy and complicated on the outside, but solid and unimaginative within.

Facing the Commander's provocations, she remained unmoved, merely murmuring low: "I am a girl from a sheltered inner chamber; for you to be so presumptuous, Commander, is what is truly uncalled for."

Shen Run's brows arched even higher. "Fourth Miss seems to have quite a few complaints about Shen Run."

Qingyuan said she dared not. "I have nothing but respect for the Commander. You once saved the Xie family from fire and water; to me, you are a benefactor. Furthermore, you are a colleague of my father’s, and I respect you just as I respect my own father."

Though this sentence was not fully spelled out, the metaphor it contained was too heavy. To respect him like a father—it seemed she was implying he was too old. For someone of a father's generation to turn around and attempt to seduce a younger woman, he truly risked the suspicion of being a man who lacked the dignity proper to his age.

Qingyuan thought that by saying this, he would finally understand her meaning. When dealing with an intelligent person, words did not need to be overly explicit; to be too blunt would hurt one's dignity. A light touch should be enough. The circle of elites in Youzhou was not as large as one might imagine; there would always be times when paths crossed. If things turned ugly, and they were to meet again in the future, wouldn't it be incredibly awkward to recall everything that happened today?

However, her painstaking efforts did not strike a chord with Shen Run.

"There are many people who serve in the same court. There is no need for you to treat me as a member of your father's generation." When he was maneuvering with her, his temper always seemed remarkably good. "If we were to calculate by seniority, Commissioner Xie and my father were once like brothers, which makes you and me of the same generation. As for age, there is indeed a slight gap, but I do not mind that you are young and inexperienced, and you should also try to view me with an open mind."

Qingyuan was left tongue-tied, realizing that anything he said could be twisted into two different meanings. She even forgot her original intent for saying those things; she had only been trying to gently point out the disparity in their ages! Yet he stood firm, forever in an invincible position, instead implying that she was too young and too naive, and that his tolerance was already giving her immense face.

She felt a bit discouraged, harboring a sense of resentment for having lost the upper hand, but she wore a helpless smile. "The Commander’s behavior puts me in a state of apprehension."

He let out a long sigh, the sigh carrying a light, lingering trailing note that sounded strangely tolerant. "Fourth Miss, your heart and your mouth are not in agreement at all. Since you treat me as a member of your father’s generation, why then did you accept my token?"

Qingyuan looked at him hesitantly, then at the small pouch at her waist. "This jade pendant was something you entrusted to my care; it hardly counts as a token of affection!"

He said, "Oh? Then did I not tell you to carry it with you day and night?"

Suddenly, the small girl found herself unable to argue, stammering, "I... I was just afraid... afraid it might fall into someone else's hands."

"Afraid of what? Next time, if someone tries to snatch it, I will pay a visit to your home myself and explain it clearly in front of your entire family: that this pendant was placed on your person by me, and that it belongs to you alone." He delivered this declaration generously, and after finishing, he smiled at her calmly. "Fourth Miss, why don't you take a closer look at Shen Run? Though I have joined the military, I have kept myself clean and disciplined all these years, never dallying with flowers or willows. As for appearance, I dare not say I rival Pan An, but I am certainly a man of talent and looks. My family's assets are sufficient; managing a household of servants is no problem. To be a match for you, Fourth Miss, is in every way a reasonable proposition."

Most people's self-confidence is so baseless it becomes laughable. But the Commander was not like that; he had every right to be proud—broad shoulders, narrow waist, and excellent features. Though he was indeed nearly a full cycle older than her, this age was the peak of a man's life. He had endured the harshest bitterness and held a position of high power; there was nothing to pick at, nothing to criticize. Yet, no matter how good his external conditions were, to Qingyuan, it was not appropriate. A person who had walked through such long, dark nights—the complexity and depth of such a human soul were likely beyond the comprehension of a mind that had grown up under the gentle, sparkling sunshine of youth. They are self-interested, ego-driven, and decisive. If he had an interest in you today, he would tease you as if you were a cat or a dog. If he lost interest tomorrow, you wouldn't even be able to seek a quiet corner. Sooner or later, he would drive you onto a foot-long spirit tablet to receive incense, skipping the need for three meals a day entirely.

Over the past half-year, Qingyuan had truly come to understand the hardships of the human world. The more difficult things became, the more she cherished her life. She did not believe this Commander was someone she could entrust herself to. Even if he were powerful and handsome, to her, he was simply too far out of reach. She had a heart that knew how to appreciate—like flowers that are half-bloomed or wine that is slightly intoxicating; one should not indulge too deeply, or one risked drowning. Though young, she was not without plans for her future. She wanted her family sitting together in peace, with friendly lamplight; she did not want wolves at the door and the flashing of blades. She was born an ordinary girl; such an extraordinary man was truly someone she could not manage.

She smiled, shaking her head very, very slowly. "The Commander just said that you never waste your efforts on any person or matter. Please, do not break that good rule. Since those black-clad men can provide no leads, please let me return to Youzhou tomorrow. I have been out all night, and surely my family is already alarmed. The fact that the Palace Guard rescued me is enough to make Lady Hu wary. Returning tomorrow would be perfectly timed."

Shen Run, however, said not to be in such a hurry. "The longer you stay at the Palace Guard Headquarters, the more it shows that this case is being taken seriously. Perhaps Lady Hu will lose her composure—one never knows." He finished and glanced outside. "The zi hour has passed. Are you hungry, Fourth Miss?"

Qingyuan only then realized that her last meal was the meager vegetarian fare at Bihai Temple during the day. The food had been crude, and she had only taken a few bites. Now, six hours had passed; as long as he didn't mention it, she was fine, but once he did, her stomach began to rumble.

Yet, as a dignified young lady, no matter how hungry she was, she had to maintain her composure. She shook her head and said she was not hungry.

As it turned out, reality always hits when you least expect it. Just as she finished speaking, her stomach let out a mournful wail, and in the quiet night, inside the austere main hall, it sounded particularly loud.

Qingyuan froze, feeling utterly humiliated. Shen Run turned around, asking with a look that suggested he knew the answer: "What was it you just said, Fourth Miss?"

She lowered her head in despair, lifting both hands to cover her face.

A clear, ringing laugh reached her ears. "Fourth Miss's stomach is truly more honest than her mouth."

He ordered food to be brought. It was midnight, so there was no sumptuous feast—only a bowl of rice porridge, a steamed bun, and a small dish of pickles, with one portion for each. Shen Run gestured with his chopsticks. "Fourth Miss is used to delicacies from the mountains and seas; try the rations of the Palace Guard. Bear with it for tonight, and I will prepare something better for you tomorrow."

Life in the military was exactly like this. Even at his rank, he didn't often have private meals; he ate from the same pot as the guards—partly to avoid trouble, and partly to win the hearts of his men.

From the way someone eats, one can generally discern their upbringing. The Shen family was a house of civil officials. Though the Shen brothers had spent ten years in the military under a cloud of disgrace, the habits of their youth were already etched into their blood. Every gesture still retained the manner of a scholar. Qingyuan stole a glance at him; he made absolutely no sound while eating, and even when he set down his chopsticks at the end, it was done with the utmost gentleness. He ate a bit faster, while Qingyuan ate more slowly. When he finished, he did not lift his eyes to look at her, but placed his tray to the side and picked up an official document to read at his leisure. Only when she had finished did he raise his voice to call for someone to clear the table. This trait was actually quite excellent—unlike those who were desperate for success, constantly watching one like a tiger, never giving one a moment to catch one's breath.

Once the meal was done, the man at the head of the table smiled. "Fourth Miss has eaten the food of my Palace Guard Headquarters, so you are half one of our own. You don't need to be so restrained in front of me."

Qingyuan sat upright, bowing slightly. "I am merely a guest at the Palace Guard Headquarters for once. Thank you, Commander, for your hospitality."

It seemed that even after eating someone's food, she still wouldn't be soft-spoken. Shen Run helplessly rubbed his forehead, about to argue further, when he suddenly heard a guard’s report from outside the hall. The voice traversed the deep, grand palace, shouting: "Report to the Commander: we have extracted the identity of the mastermind who coordinated the meeting. Should we immediately apprehend the suspect? Please advise, Commander."

Shen Run stood up, walked out from behind his desk, and said to her faintly, "I am going to check on the prison. That place is very filthy; you just wait for me here in the hall." With that, he strode away.

The enormous hall turned cold and quiet again, leaving Qingyuan all alone. She wanted to look for Baoxian and the others, but she didn't know where they had been taken, so she had to wait in solitude.

Perhaps they could uncover some leads. At the very least, there was progress; she could not let that servant die in vain. Previously, her horizons had been too narrow; she had fully believed that inner-chamber struggles, even if violent, would not lead to blades being drawn and blood spilling five steps away. But facts proved that when things were pushed to the extreme, it was no different from a battlefield. Lady Hu truly wanted her dead. If she had known this would happen, she never would have let her mother leave the Xie mansion. Reflecting on it now, she felt a lingering fear. If it hadn't been for Shen Run’s meddling, she didn't know if she could have survived until now.

Qingyuan rested her head on her hand and looked vacantly out the window. This Palace Guard Headquarters felt quite isolated, as if it were in the middle of nowhere; thus, the crescent moon hanging alone outside the window looked profoundly desolate. The night watchman's clapper sounded again from beyond the high walls; it was already the chou hour (1-3 AM). The long night was becoming difficult to endure. She opened her hand to calculate—one and a half hours more, and dawn should be breaking...

When Shen Run returned, he found she had fallen asleep on the table.

The candlelight on the lamp tree flickered and danced, casting its glow upon her side profile. If she had been trying hard to appear mature and composed while awake, then in her sleep, defenseless, her innocent, childish nature overflowed.

He rarely had the leisure to examine someone so closely. From her brows and eyes to her contours, each look deepened his impression of her. In truth, until now, one could not call it love; at best, it could be classified as liking. She was a brilliant girl, daring to think and daring to act, bolder than any woman he had ever met. Fifteen—the age of just having come of age. Some of her methods were still slightly immature and needed someone to support her; in two more years, once her methods were sharp and seasoned, she would certainly handle the management of a household with ease.

To obtain a potted flower, one must protect it with the gentlest of means, and only when it grows a bit stronger can one transplant it from the pot into the courtyard. He had enough patience to look after her, shielding her when the wind and rain came, and blocking the sun for her when it was scorching. With his intervention, the path she walked ahead would not need to be so rugged.

But this little girl was truly beautiful. Her features were well-proportioned and delicate; she didn't need to flirt to possess a unique charm. Most men in the world are shallow, himself included; whether the first glance feels right is too important. If she weren't beautiful enough to move the heart, who would have the leisure to understand her? And the more he understood, the more he felt she fit his heart—just as he had said before, she had become his own private matter. For this private matter, a Commander busy with official business could travel dozens of miles between two places in a day. This was a different kind of turbulence, unlike the passive struggle for survival he had known before; it could be magnificent, and he was willing.

She was right before his eyes; this was good. Although she completely refused to accept his goodwill, if a girl could be swayed in just a few words, then she would be cheap. He actually preferred her indifference and her feigned ignorance; a noble girl should be exactly like this.

A breeze flowed in from the window. He, who was awake, felt it quite refreshing, but the one who was asleep might catch a chill. He glanced at the back of the official’s chair nearby, where his unlined garment hung. He took that garment and gently draped it over her.

Qingyuan had been exhausted from attending the funeral rites for days. She had spent the entire day in the Buddha hall, and then the incident happened at night, followed by the grueling journey from Youzhou to the Capital. Once she fell asleep, she slept soundly, straight through until dawn broke.

It seemed guards had been coming and going in the hall for a while; the sound of armor occasionally echoed into her dreams. She used a great deal of effort to force her eyes open. Perhaps a bit dazed, she saw this strange environment and for a moment couldn't recall where she was, feeling as if she had just taken a nap and somehow ended up a thousand miles away.

The man sitting at the front of the city defense map glanced at her. "Awake?" He reached out to remove the lampshade from the desk, blowing out the candle fire.

Qingyuan stared at him blankly, watching the last inch of radiance from the wick land on his lips. Her mind finally turned the corner, and she recalled she was at the Palace Guard Headquarters. She had actually fallen asleep in front of an outsider, sleeping for nearly two hours.

Discouraged, neck aching—truly not a pleasant morning. She raised her hand to rub her neck, and the garment draped over her shoulders slid off. She glanced down: the vermilion satin with gold embroidery was clearly the robe of the Commander. Her embarrassment intensified. She hurriedly stood up to collect it, carefully returning it. "I have lost my composure. Please forgive me, Commander."

Shen Run reached out to take it, whether intentionally or unintentionally, his fingertips brushed the back of her hand. That light touch was enough to make Qingyuan's sleepiness vanish completely. She heard his tone, usually so calm, now burning with every word: "Fourth Miss has spent the night with me. The guards who came in for their morning roll call have all seen it. This is quite troublesome; even if I had a thousand mouths, I wouldn't be able to explain this one away.”