Love For You - Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Quietly Pressing a Wine-Scented Kiss to Her Neck

After the college entrance exams, graduates busily packed their bags and were picked up by their parents, leaving the school behind. When the teacher from her host family asked Miao Jing when she would be moving out, Miao Jing didn't know how to answer, so the teacher turned to contact Chen Yi instead.

He came to pick her up at six in the morning, his demeanor arrogant and unrestrained. His eyes were distant and cold as he looked at her, and his body was a mix of cigarette smoke, perfume, and sweat. A faint, dark shade under his eyes suggested he hadn't slept all night. He tossed Miao Jing’s suitcase into the car.

As he turned the steering wheel to head home, Chen Yi took a call midway. The person on the other end talked to him about some tricky situation, asking Chen Yi to offer advice and leverage his connections. Chen Yi was occupied with the conversation, but after hanging up, he glanced over to see Miao Jing staring out the window, her face tilted away. Her side profile was quiet and clear, her brows and eyelashes as dark as ink, concealing a sense of solitude. She looked exquisite, with an indescribable, vivid grace.

When they arrived and carried their things upstairs, the apartment was a mess. He hadn't been home much over the past two months and hadn't bothered to clean up. He gave Miao Jing—who was standing there with nowhere to step—a push, causing her to stumble forward and kick over an empty beer bottle on the floor.

"Keep to yourself, don't go out much, and don't go looking for trouble for me. If anything comes up, wait until you get your admission letter before talking about it."

Watching Miao Jing walk straight toward her room, Chen Yi stood behind her and called out sharply, "Did you hear me?"

"I heard you."

The house was stocked with everything needed for food and drink. With the weather being so hot, Miao Jing stayed inside, doing chores, reading, sleeping, and looking for part-time work online. She remained cooped up at home, patiently waiting for her exam results. Based on her estimates, her scores were high enough to get into a decent university.

Chen Yi didn't come home every day; sometimes he returned every two or three days, bringing back some food to stuff into the fridge and checking on what Miao Jing was doing at home.

She had let her hair grow too long, so she’d chopped it into a shoulder-length bob herself. Because she didn't go out, she spent her days wearing loose-fitting nightgowns. Suddenly relaxed, she spent her time reading and watching movies, her sleep schedule flipping around. Sometimes, when Chen Yi returned at two or three in the morning, he would find her curled up on the sofa, engrossed in the television. All the lights in the house were off, and only the light from the TV screen reflected onto her shimmering face, her slender, fair legs tucked under her on the couch. Occasionally, she would just fall asleep like that, the cool breeze from the fan blowing loose strands of hair across her cheeks. She looked like a quiet porcelain doll, or perhaps a sleeping beauty.

His dark, murky gaze remained fixed on her, silent and cold, his thoughts unreadable. He would nudge her awake, gruffly telling her to fix him something to eat. With a face still marked by the indentations of her pillow, Miao Jing would yawn lazily and go to the kitchen to boil him some plain noodles in broth. With a dull mind, she would sprinkle some salt in, find some leftovers from the fridge to make do, and then quietly crawl back to the sofa to watch TV. Even while eating that sickeningly salty bowl of noodles, Chen Yi could tell something was off—she had grown cold toward him.

The brat was too ungrateful.

"You're home all day, and you don't even wash your clothes?" After finishing the noodles, Chen Yi chugged water, holding the bottle while standing by the sofa. "Where are my clothes?"

"I washed them." She rested her chin on her hand, staring at the television, and replied slowly, "They’re all hanging on the balcony. Find them yourself."

Chen Yi licked his back molars, then strode off with his hands on his hips.

Sometimes when he came home at noon, the house would be dead quiet, and she would still be sleeping peacefully in bed. Chen Yi would open her bedroom door to talk to her. Annoyed by his noise, Miao Jing would shield her eyes with her arm and frown in her sleep. He would grab her arm to urge her to get up for lunch. Miao Jing would suppress her impatience and get up to eat a few bites with him. He didn't make her cook; he brought lunch home from a hotel. After Miao Jing finished eating, she picked up a bowl of peeled shrimp and headed out. He asked her where she was going, inwardly unhappy that she was going out in a nightgown. Miao Jing threw on a coat, saying she was just going downstairs to feed the stray cats.

From the balcony, he watched her crouched next to the trash bin downstairs, affectionately petting several plump stray cats. Her back and arms looked thin and frail. So, it turned out that most of the food he’d been bringing home these past few days had ended up in the bellies of wild cats.

On the day the college entrance exam results were released, Chen Yi saw the news. He hadn't had time to go home these past two days and had tried calling Miao Jing to ask about her score, but the call never went through. He rushed home in a panic, only to find Miao Jing wasn't there, though her phone had been left behind. Chen Yi hurried out again to find her, and saw Miao Jing returning with a pitifully small cake. Her cold, clear eyes landed on him briefly before she turned away, continuing on her own path.

Chen Yi breathed a sigh of relief and asked why she had gone out without her phone. Miao Jing said flatly that she’d forgotten it. As for her exam results, she’d already checked them: 653 points, enough to attend a very good university.

"Buying such a small cake to celebrate?" His handsome face held a smile. "I'll have someone buy a big cake and send it over so we can eat our fill."

"No need, it’s too cloying, I don't like it." Her voice was flat. "This was a promotion at the cake shop; it’s a free sample for people with exam results."

Chen Yi had an idea, thinking of taking her out for a meal to celebrate. Miao Jing’s reaction was cold; she unwrapped the cake, took two bites with a spoon, and then lay back down on her bed, clutching a book on college admissions.

"Miao Jing, did you hear me?"

She turned a deaf ear, pulled the quilt over herself, and took a nap.

Miao Jing filled out her applications for universities very far away and showed them to Chen Yi. As he had wished, Chen Yi happened to be out entertaining at the time. When he caught a glimpse of the message on his phone, his expression shifted subtly, a faint shadow hidden in the depths of his eyes, but he said nothing, only replying with one word: Okay.

After submitting her applications, Miao Jing planned to work. She could apply for student loans for tuition, but living and travel expenses were essential. She found a summer job at an electronics factory on the outskirts of the city, which paid 2,500 a month and included food and board. Two months of work would be just enough. She packed a few clothes and left without telling Chen Yi.

The factory work involved ten-hour days. The tasks were simple, but the shift changes were exhausting. A few days later, Miao Jing received a call from Chen Yi asking where she was. Miao Jing said she was at work. His tone on the other end was unfriendly; he said that if she ran off again without saying anything, he would beat her again.

Miao Jing coldly hung up the phone.

Chen Yi found the factory himself. He frowned at the environment and told her to pack her things and go back. Miao Jing refused, so he dragged her into the car, calling her ungrateful and stubborn, saying he wasn't short on the money she was earning and ordering her to go home and stay there.

They started arguing again.

Miao Jing was utterly sick of this lifestyle. She didn't want to go back; she didn't want to live with Chen Yi, and she didn't want to spend his money or accept his favors anymore. She wanted to live her own quiet life, far away from him. If she could choose again, she would rather have chased after Wei Mingzhen or returned to her hometown—anything would have been better than her current life. Staying in Tengcheng was her biggest regret.

"What are you in such a hurry for? You’ll be free soon anyway. Once you get the admission letter, you can go wherever you want; no one will be able to control you."

"Right, both of us will be free." Her tone was ice-cold. "Don't worry, I will definitely roll far away. From now on, I won't get in your way ever again."

"That would be great. I’ve tolerated you for so many years—I'll just consider it an act of charity, burning incense for my own good. You, goddamn it, don't you ever come and get in my way again. Let’s break it off, clean and simple. You walk your sunny path, I’ll cross my single-plank bridge. Don't say you know me, Chen Yi, in the future, and of course, I’ll act like I don't know you either."

She tilted her chin defiantly: "Fine."

They traded barbs back and forth—he called her cold-hearted, she called him a man of selfish ambition. They argued with such ferocity, as if they would never see each other again, truly making a clean break and becoming strangers. Both of them were trembling with rage. Miao Jing sat stiffly on the sofa, while Chen Yi stood in the room, frowning and smoking fiercely. He received another call—not sure which woman it was—and even though his face remained dark and cold, he could still naturally flirt, laughing as he asked what important guests she had been with last night, or which big shot she’d been dealing with, asking in a lazy, sleazy way when she’d have time to see him.

After the call ended, Chen Yi’s expression grew even more gloomy and morose. He flicked the ash from his cigarette and let out a puff of turbid smoke. Turning back to look at Miao Jing, he saw she was still holding her stubborn, cold face, biting her lower lip. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and as her lashes fluttered, one slid quietly down her cheek.

Chen Yi felt a sharp pain in his heart. He walked silently toward her, finished his cigarette with a heavy gloom, threw the butt aside, and leaned over to pull her into his arms. He held her with great force, pressing her tightly against his chest, cradling her entire being in his embrace.

His rich, potent scent enveloped her. Her shoulders ached from his grip, but when Miao Jing struggled to pull away, he forced her back toward him. He called her name in a low, heavy voice, each syllable lingering like smoke, stinging as if it were being inhaled into her lungs. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. Seeing this, he reached out lovingly to touch them, his fingertips stained with the thin, cold moisture. His gaze sank into those tiny glimmers of tears; he lowered his head to kiss the trails on her cheeks, moving from her jawline to the corners of her eyes, his scorching lips pressing against her closed lids, gently sucking at her fragile tears.

"Be good, Miao Jing..."

Her shoulders shook as she wept silently. All she could remember were his wrongdoings—how he hadn't been good to her since she was a child, how from the age of eight to eighteen, he had never treated her well. He would throw her aside time and time again, say things that broke her heart, ignore her important days, and remain completely oblivious to her feelings.

She couldn't stop the tears. His kisses wandered hesitantly to her lips. Both their lips were trembling; he scorched her cherry lips with his own, wrapping them into a mouth that tasted faintly of tobacco, cautiously testing and deepening the soft, sweet kiss. It was a scene from the dreams that kept him tossing and turning at night, an imagination that occasionally made his heart race; his wet, slick tongue snuck in, touching the damp, supple tip of her tongue.

For a split second, Miao Jing cleared her head through the dizziness and numbness, and she lashed out, hitting his arms, pinching, scratching, and twisting at him. Chen Yi tightly bound her arms, pausing the wet, soft kiss in the face of her insignificant resistance, and tucked her wet face into the crook of his neck. His fingers stroked her black hair over and over, his gaze staring blankly ahead as he held her tightly without saying a word.

What was there to say? Should he say he had realized he liked her, that he wanted to love her, that she was important to him, and he wanted to keep her by his side to build a home? He couldn't even protect himself right now; he lived every day walking on eggshells, terrified that if something went wrong, he would take a bullet to the head. He couldn't tell her that he hadn't meant to treat her this way, that he was afraid someone would discover he had a younger sister, a weakness. He could be impenetrable even without armor, but when would he have tenderness or a soft spot? He regretted not stopping her at school back then, letting her leave with Wei Mingzhen and that money, ending it all right there.

He regretted it, too.

Miao Jing rested lazily on his shoulder, her clear eyes wide open, her heart feeling empty and desolate. She heard him ask in a hoarse, deep voice if she needed money. He offered to buy her the trendiest dresses and jewelry, the newest cell phone and laptop. They were leaving soon anyway, so they should stop arguing, speak less, and spend these last few days in peace.

There weren't many good days left. Things had been tense lately, with everyone fearing for their own safety. Judging by the movements on Zhou Kang'an’s side, the police intended to wipe out the Zhai Fengmao Group entirely. He just didn't know if they had the confidence to pull it out by the roots. The police’s plan was to first let them fight among themselves, to stir up conflict between them and other gangs in Tengcheng so they would mutually destroy each other, and then the police would step in to round everyone up at once. Chen Yi was caught in the middle, and he had no idea what the outcome would be.

Miao Jing no longer had the energy to bicker with Chen Yi. She stayed home quietly, doing laundry, cooking, and tidying up. Chen Yi usually came home around one or two in the morning; occasionally he returned drunk, sometimes he brought a gun. She sometimes heard him on the phone, talking about things that were anything but innocent, but she didn't want to get involved anymore. She just boiled him hangover soup. Seeing her standing in the kitchen in a small camisole, her skin glowing white, he would stare for so long that his eyes turned red. Eventually, after smoking a cigarette, he couldn't help but walk over, hug her from behind, and quietly press a wine-scented kiss to her neck and ears.

They were very young—she was eighteen, he was twenty—and their bodies were in the prime of life, filled with a strong desire for the opposite sex. He had discs in his room, and he watched them at home occasionally; he was exposed to plenty outside as well. Every day, he spent his time indulging in sleazy fantasies. After living together for so long and having even slept in the same bed, they weren't as cautious about their clothing at home. Sometimes she would dress in thin, revealing clothes, and while some things were just hazy glimpses, they were enough to satisfy his fantasies.

Chen Yi didn't explain these actions much. For a young man to have desires toward a young, pretty girl was normal. There were only the two of them in the house, and these boundary-crossing actions born of anger or drunkenness... Besides, he just wanted to hold her, to hold onto this slender, cold shadow, and he never dared to put his filthy thoughts into practice on her.

When he held her, Miao Jing could vaguely feel the changes in his body. She had seen those discs while cleaning Chen Yi’s room. She watched them too, though she would frown with reluctance, her expression cold and clear, showing not a hint of shyness or joy. After the videos ended, she even felt a touch of disdain for Chen Yi. He used to have girlfriends and have flirtatious calls with women—he was just a big jerk.

When the college admission results came out, Miao Jing successfully received her university notice. The school had sent a thick EMS package, including detailed introductions to university life and the city where it was located, enough to make one look forward to the future. Chen Yi had examined every single piece of paper and brochure carefully: transportation, enrollment procedures, military training, professional course introductions, school life, social activities, phone cards, and bank cards...

His eyes shone brightly, his expression held a hint of a smile, and his body language conveyed relief and pride. How could he not be incredible? After all, Miao Jing had grown up following him. Even though he was a scoundrel, he had still managed to raise a sister who was a college student. In a few years, she would be able to walk in and out of high-end office buildings in professional attire, traveling the world while speaking fluent English, climbing into the elite class to live a completely different life.

Chen Yi specifically cleared his schedule and called for a table full of food, bringing back two bottles of liquor from the nightclub to celebrate his and Miao Jing’s bright futures. Their parting of ways in life also meant each of them would achieve their own success. They had both tasted their own bitterness, and he felt as if he were watching a clumsy, stumbling little bird finally turn into a swan and fly away—flying higher and further.

Miao Jing no longer had any reason to stay in Tengcheng.

That night, Chen Yi smoked many cigarettes and drank a lot of alcohol. When he was drunk, he was even less inclined to talk, and he used only a pair of cold, glowing eyes to intimidate people. Yet, he rambled on to Miao Jing about so much. She treated him with cold indifference, and in the end, she helped the staggering Chen Yi back to his room to rest. She wiped his face and limbs with a towel dipped in cold water, cleaned the body that he had sprawled shamelessly across the bed, and fed him some milk. He opened his eyes and looked at her, dazed. She lay down beside him, resting her cheek on her own arm, lying facing him, her beautiful, soft eyes staring at him quietly.

Chen Yi’s lips curled upward, and he reached out, pulling her into his arms.