The Vanishing Beauty - Chapter 5 - 14

Chapter 5 - 14

Yu Jia felt that Luan Liren had been in quite a good mood lately.

She guessed the reasons were twofold: first, their daughter had gone abroad to study and had won a badminton championship right upon entering school, becoming a bit of a local celebrity even before officially starting her undergraduate studies.

Of course, they had Yuanhai to thank; it was all due to his friends making arrangements, helping her settle in, and even stepping in as temporary sparring partners so Sisi could achieve such a great result. Yuanhai's friend had also helped Sisi immensely with her studies and daily life. Parentheses: a female friend.

Yu Jia didn't probe too deeply, but her intuition told her that the woman probably had a secret crush on Yuanhai. Otherwise, why would the woman jump into action the moment Yuanhai mentioned that Sisi was his niece? Naturally, Liren was overjoyed at Sisi's progress. He was proud of his daughter, proving the old saying that a tiger begets no dog.

Secondly, in his career, Liren no longer seemed as agonizingly conflicted. He had put Das Kapital aside and switched to reading ancient texts, lately delving into Dunhuang studies. It was a subject that had always interested him. With a Chinese literature background, Yu Jia recognized plenty of characters, but unfortunately, she could rarely keep up with the books her husband loved to read—first Das Kapital, and now Dunhuang studies. She had never been to Dunhuang; she only knew about the flying Apsaras and the bit about foreigners stealing cultural artifacts as described in Yu Qiuyu's essays.

The couple still slept in separate bedrooms and still had virtually nothing to say to each other. Even so, Yu Jia was content. The air pressure had risen, and the weather was clear and bright.

Let's take it one step at a time.

The publishing house had been through a flurry of chaos lately. A newly appointed president had swept in with three fierce blazes, keeping the entire office running in a whirl. Pregnant women and mothers were complaining bitterly, and several had been "worked to exhaustion." Staff members in their prime like Yu Jia had no choice but to step up, attending every single meeting and transcribing the recordings afterward. Fortunately, a newcomer had joined the team who could help Yu Jia shoulder some of the load. Department Head Zhang was busy, too. The departmental staff were so swamped that they didn't leave work until ten o'clock at night. By the time Yu Jia arrived home, Liren was already asleep.

Yu Jia had a video call with Sisi. Surprised, Sisi asked, "Mom, why are you still awake at this hour? Is Dad acting up again?" Too exhausted to explain, Yu Jia simply told her daughter to be careful in everything she did. The next day, she returned to work and spent half the day rushed off her feet. Finally, things came to a temporary pause. Having managed to earn some compensatory time off, Yu Jia ate only a few bites of her meal before heading straight home and diving onto the bed to catch up on sleep.

When she woke up, it was already eight o'clock in the evening. Hearing movement outside, she called out. Luan Liren answered. Yu Jia quickly got up, cleaned herself up in the bathroom, and walked out to find the small coffee table in front of the television neatly laid out. Five or six plastic bags with their tops open were filled with braised delicacies, and Liren was sipping small cups of liquor while using his chopsticks to pick at peanuts. Liren invited her to join him. Feeling pleasantly flattered, Yu Jia grabbed a pair of chopsticks and sat down beside her husband.

Pig ears, duck tongues, chicken gizzards, pig trotters... it was practically a delicatessen spread. The television was on, tuned to Focus Report. Liren reached out to pour her a drink. Yu Jia had no choice but to go fetch a small cup for herself.

After he filled her glass, she asked, "Did something good happen?"

Liren smiled without answering. After a moment, he said, "The boss is taking me along."

Instinctively, Yu Jia said, "That's great, that's great." After letting the words process in her head for a second, she realized something felt off. "Take you where?"

"Qinghai."

"When?"

"Soon. It counts as a secondment."

"Then I need to pack my things. The altitude is high over there. You might be okay, but I'll probably need time to adjust," she babbled on to herself. "I'm not sure if my workplace will let me go, but it should count as an accompanying dependent posting." She was already planning out the future.

Liren interrupted her with a half-smile. "It's not like going abroad as an ambassador. What accompanying posting? You keep doing your job, and I'll go alone."

Yu Jia froze. It felt as though a thunderclap had exploded in her heart. She was being left behind again? Liren wanted to go by himself.

"How long will you be gone?"

"Hard to say. Depends on how long the boss stays."

"You need someone to look after you," her voice trembled slightly.

"Don't worry, the organization will take care of me."

"Will you be all right on your own?"

"Why wouldn't I be? You have your job, and I have mine. Why must we always cling to each other? We're an old married couple; what is there to worry about?"

"Living apart in two places... is no good." Her face felt hot, possibly from the alcohol.

"Before, when I was stationed here and you were in the provincial capital, I'd say that worked out better than now."

"Husband and wife belong together. Long-term separation will lead to problems."

"What is that supposed to mean? Do you not trust me? Or do you not trust yourself?" Liren's expression suddenly darkened as he put down his chopsticks. "When Sisi went abroad and I wanted you to go with her, you refused. Now that I'm going out on my own and you don't need to tag along, you insist on coming anyway. Why do you always swim against the current? Work has already been arranged for you, our daughter is grown, and shouldn't both of us settle down and push hard for a few years? These next few years are critical; if we don't climb higher, we drop. A person has to have ideals, or what's the point of living?"

"I'm trying to help you, not hurt you," Yu Jia pleaded earnestly.

"During the Long March, even women and children were sometimes left behind at the base areas. It wasn't that they didn't want to take them, but that they couldn't. That's Qinghai, a plateau! I'm going there to work, not to go on vacation. Dragging you along would just be a burden."

"Do you honestly think of me as a burden?" Yu Jia asked with deep sorrow.

Liren was taken aback; he hadn't expected her to put it quite like that. "Yes, a burden. You are a burden, and your entire family is a burden. But I tell myself that what must be done, must be done—even if it's just out of responsibility. I accept that. Yet I'm human too, and I get tired. I need to catch my breath."

Shocked to the core, Yu Jia appeared completely calm on the outside. "I understand. Now that you've climbed higher and you're a person of status and face, while I'm still just a housewife, the gap between us is huge."

"What are you implying?" Liren flared up. "Don't portray me like Chen Shimei! I don't have any ulterior motives out there; I just want to focus purely on my career! Is that really so much to ask?!"

"Does my career conflict with yours?"

"Why don't you understand!" he urged anxiously. "We've changed, the times have changed, and the timing, geography, and harmony of everything have changed."

"I haven't changed."

"Well, I have! Are you happy now?" He leaned back abruptly, wearing an expression of complete resignation. "Don't you feel it? What has our life together devolved into? Is there any meaning left in this?"

"If there's a problem, we solve it," Yu Jia said. "We can change."

"I don't need you to change. You've done nothing wrong, and neither have I. Our daughter is grown, you have your freedom, and I have mine. There's no need for us to keep tying each other down."

Yu Jia's eyes grew red and her hands trembled. "When you talk like this... it hurts me so much..."

"And do you think I'm not hurting?!" Liren raised his voice. "Do you think I want to solve my physiological needs in a haphazard way? Do you think I don't want someone to connect with on a spiritual level? Do you have any idea how suffocating your so-called virtue and consideration feel to the people around you? Do you know why our daughter was so desperate to go abroad? She told me straight out: she couldn't stand your control, and she felt like we were all your slaves! Do you know what she compares you to? She said you're the mistress of the Cave of the Webbed Silk! The cozy nest you weave can wrap around people until they choke! Until they suffocate! Do you know what you look like right now?" As he spoke, he snatched up several pairs of identical stretch pants in different colors—cheap Taobao goods—that were lying by the sofa. "You even make a fuss over buying and returning cheap junk like this. Seriously, let yourself off the hook and stop living so exhausting a life. How many days do we even have left?"

Yu Jia burst into tears.

Her tears were flooded with bitter resentment.

All these years, had her devotion to her daughter and husband been completely wasted? No, wasted would at least mean nothing came of it; right now, it had backfired entirely. They all resented her, hated her, and couldn't wait to escape from her. What wrong had she committed? She had merely wanted to build a home, a societal cell, a respectable facade, and live a life that adhered squarely to public order and good morals. Yet in the end, how did all of it become her fault?

Liren stood up, let out a long sigh, and spoke with an air of profound relief, "Honestly, let's separate."

Another thunderclap.

He had come prepared.

In an instant, Yu Jia's senses shut down completely, and her entire body felt as though it were sinking into an endless abyss of darkness. Separate. Did that mean a trial separation? Or a divorce? These were the words she detested most in her entire life. And yet they had actually tumbled from Luan Liren's lips. After three silent seconds, she gradually began to register the scene before her. Luan Liren was still standing there. Her resentment finally bubbled up slowly from her chest, surging past her throat. She wanted to scream, to throw a violent tantrum, but her throat felt as if it had been sealed shut, unable to utter a single word.

"Think it over," Luan Liren said calmly.

Yu Jia abruptly snatched up a pig trotter and hurled it at him.

It hit him square in the chest.

A greasy stain bloomed across his shirt.

Unwilling to linger for a drawn-out battle, Luan Liren grabbed his jacket, scooped up his Dunhuang research texts and Das Kapital, and walked out the door. He planned to spend the night at his office.

Unable to sleep, Yu Jia tossed and turned. She still hadn't fully grasped the implications of the word "separate." Did it mean a temporary split to cool off—with him going off to Qinghai while she stayed behind to hold down the fort in the big city—or was he formally proposing a divorce? A physical separation she could still bear, but if it came to a divorce, she had already made up her mind: her absolute worst-case plan would involve making a scene—crying, making a fuss, and threatening to hang herself. She would take her grievances to the organization and demand justice and a ruling, betting that Luan Liren wouldn't dare to act recklessly.

She feared divorce and loathed the thought of it. A divorce would signify the total and utter failure of the first half of her life! People would laugh themselves to death at her! Upon closer analysis, however, she believed Luan Liren wouldn't stoop to divorce either. Once divorced, regardless of whether he had strayed or had a change of heart, public opinion would brand him a modern-day Chen Shimei. To achieve sudden success in his career only to throw away and abandon his faithful, original wife—that was a heinous crime!

Yu Jia felt a deep sense of fortune that she still had public opinion to lean on and one final card to play. Since Liren was pursuing an official political career, his reputation mattered more to him than his life.

Late into the night, the apartment was terrifyingly quiet. Her mind a jumble of chaotic thoughts, Yu Jia decided she didn't want to think anymore. She simply got out of bed, picked up the bottle of leftover liquor, and drank. Once drunk, she would be able to sleep. Yet with the fiery alcohol burning in her belly, she grew even more wide awake, tossing in bed until the early hours of dawn before finally dozing off for a brief moment.

She instantly regretted throwing that pig trotter at him.

When daylight broke, Yu Jia's sense of crisis intensified. Luan Liren hadn't sent a single phone call or text message. She couldn't go looking for him right now. With the conflict having just erupted, they needed a cooling-off period. At the same time, her heart ached with misery, and she desperately wanted someone to confide in to vent her feelings. Should she talk to Yu Yi? She was afraid her younger brother would fly off the handle. Reaching out to Yu Shuang was out of the question; even if Yu Qing hadn't died, Shuang was never a good person to confide in. Rui was sensible enough, but she had never experienced marriage.

Only Yu Meng could understand.

Yu Jia called in sick to Department Head Zhang and then dialed Yu Meng. Yu Meng was in a cheerful mood and immediately offered to come pick her up.

When Yu Meng suggested going out somewhere to eat, Yu Jia said she wasn't in the mood and asked Yu Meng to drive straight to her place instead.

Upon entering the apartment, Yu Meng brewed a pot of tea. Having driven over without asking too many questions, the moment she saw Sister Jia's swollen eyelids, she knew something was wrong. She figured the trouble originated from Lao Di. Aside from him, Yu Meng couldn't think of anyone else who could currently reduce Sister Jia to tears.

Holding her teacup, Yu Jia sighed repeatedly. Much of what she felt could not be easily spoken aloud, yet she found herself stumbling when trying to fabricate a lie.

"What is it?" Yu Meng wrapped an arm around her. "What could possibly be making you unhappy right now? The children have flown the coop, and your husband is about to get a promotion..."

A bell went off in Yu Jia's head, and she cut her off. "How did you know he's getting a promotion?"

Smugly, Yu Meng replied, "My dear elder sister, Lao Di asked me to pull some strings for him."

"Pull strings for what?"

"To pull strings and pledge his loyalty—loyalty to his boss."

"Did you pull those strings?" Yu Jia sat up straight.

"I did," Yu Meng said lightly, with a hint of pride. "And it seemed to have worked a little bit." She had done Luan Liren a favor, and she fully expected Yu Jia to acknowledge the debt.

"Who gave you permission to help him?!" Yu Jia lost control and raised her voice.

"That's not..." Yu Meng was dumbfounded.

"Meddling where you don't belong! Ruining everything!" Yu Jia croaked hoarsely. "He's being transferred to Qinghai now! We're going to live apart in two different places again!"

Feeling deeply wronged, Yu Meng stammered, Luan Liren had practically knelt and begged her for help, so she had lent a hand, only to earn a thorough scolding from Yu Jia instead. Why were this husband and wife acting like two opposing battlefronts?

Since Yu Jia was in the middle of a rage, Yu Meng could only try to soothe her. "How could this happen... I truly had no idea... calm down, calm down... didn't you even know about this... here I was thinking I was doing a good deed... how..."

Even as she spoke, Yu Meng began to wonder herself: what was such a big deal about going to Qinghai? Even if he were going to Antarctica, couldn't a wife tag along? Oh, she understood now—Lao Di wanted to ditch Yu Jia. The problem had been brewing for a long time, and this was merely the breaking point. By sheer coincidence, she, Yu Meng, had played the good Samaritan and walked right into the line of fire. Who could she possibly go to for justice!

Things having reached this stage, she had no choice but to stand with Yu Jia, spitting in disgust as she echoed, "That Lao Di is completely out of line! Don't you worry, Sister Jia, however he managed to climb up there, I'll figure out a way to pull him right back down." Yu Meng firmly believed in her own capacity to shake the heavens and overturn the earth.

"Enough! Stop making things worse!" Yu Jia felt tears well up without a way to cry them out.