The Early Spring - Chapter 117

Chapter 117 - Wiped Clean

Shang Zhitao trudged through the snow until she stood before Luan Nian. She had bundled herself up so tightly that only her pair of eyes was exposed, rendering the scene somewhat comical.

"The weather is too cold for a walk down the street," Shang Zhitao said, stomping her feet. Her teeth chattered, and she trembled from the bitter cold. As her feet lightly tapped the ground, they made soft, crunching sounds against the snow.

"Are you short on money to buy a thick down jacket?"

"Huh?"

"Go back inside."

"Didn't you want to talk to me?"

"What is there to talk about when you're freezing like this?"

...

Luan Nian lifted his legs and began walking toward his quarters. Shang Zhitao followed behind, sizing him up. It was quite odd—he wasn't wearing much either, so why wasn't he cold?

The two of them trudged through the deep snow, step by heavy step, until they finally arrived in front of Luan Nian's house. Yet he didn't stop. Shang Zhitao reminded him, "You've reached your place."

"I'm going to walk a bit more."

"Oh."

Shang Zhitao didn't want to keep walking. She was already suffering from an endocrine imbalance, and if she caught a chill on top of that, her health would be completely ruined. Stopping in front of her heated brick bed cabin, she said to Luan Nian, "Then I'm going inside."

"Mm."

Luan Nian offered a faint response and continued walking. Shang Zhitao had already pushed the door open when Luan Nian turned back around and stood directly opposite her.

"Are you still cold?" he asked her.

"A bit better. But the heat in my room is about to escape." Shang Zhitao looked into Luan Nian's eyes. In the past, she had been most afraid of looking into his eyes because she would sink into them. Sometimes, when they were passionately entangled in a dim room, he would look at her just like that right before kissing her. "I'll speak directly, Luan Nian. If you want to ask me why I sold those designer bags back then, I can answer you right now. I don't like luxury goods, nor do I like those bags. Those bags made me feel like I was selling my body. And if you want to ask why I left without saying goodbye, it's because I didn't want to be entangled with you anymore." Seeing Luan Nian's expression, Shang Zhitao knew deep down that he had never been a bad person. He was merely arrogant, cold, and found it difficult to understand her emotions. Regardless of whether that stemmed from him looking down on her or simply being his natural self, all of it had caused her immense pain.

"I knew that if I bade you farewell, you would say an awful lot of harsh words. I just didn't want to listen to them anymore."

Shang Zhitao placed her hand on the door handle. "Is there anything else you want to talk about? If selling those bags and leaving without a word hurt your self-esteem, then I apologize to you."

"I just feel that after being entangled for six years, there's no need to entangle ourselves any longer. Life is very long—there are many people worth loving and many things worth doing. Let's just leave it at that."

"Thank you for all the kindness you showed me during those six years. I am immensely grateful. My blessings for you were also in that final message: I wish you all the best."

Shang Zhitao uttered all these words without a single second of hesitation. These exact words had been rehearsed in her mind countless times when she first returned to Harbin. Back then, she felt she shouldn't have sold those bags, nor should she have left that way—especially after he said he wanted to talk and she agreed. At that time, as she wandered through the streets and alleys of Harbin, she had felt the urge to call him countless times. She felt she owed him an explanation, because during the years they spent together, whether good or bad, Luan Nian had always made things crystal clear.

Having said it all today, she felt an overwhelming sense of relief. Neither of them owed the other anything anymore.

"Lastly, I haven't spent a single cent of the money from selling the bags. If you want it, you can give me your bank account number. The total is 913,500 yuan, and I'll transfer it to you. If you don't want it, I will find a suitable occasion to donate it."

"Do you want it?"

"Keep it."

Luan Nian dropped that single sentence, turned around, and walked away. Shang Zhitao said nothing more and gently closed the door.

Returning to the heated brick bed, she crawled under the quilt. A moment later, wrapped in her blanket, she got up to drink some water and saw Luan Nian outside, still pacing in circles. She had never understood Luan Nian, nor did she even know what he had intended to talk to her about. Yet as far as Luan Nian was concerned, she no longer wished to search for answers.

Shang Zhitao wasn't the only one who saw Luan Nian pacing; Lumi saw him too. She sent her a message: Look, Luke is walking his bird out in the freezing cold!

A moment later, Lumi added: First iced Americanos, now strolling around in the freezing cold. This buddy really doesn't care about his prostate anymore.

"...Why are you always worrying about his prostate?" Shang Zhitao asked her.

"Just bored," Lumi replied.

"Do you want to sleep over with me?" Shang Zhitao invited Lumi. "I have lots of delicious snacks here."

"Of course."

Lumi was right next door to Shang Zhitao. Wrapping herself in a down jacket, she hurried right over. The two sat cross-legged on the heated bed, each holding a small bottle of Erguotou liquor. Shang Zhitao set out the snacks, and they began eating and drinking.

Having spoken those words today truly gave Shang Zhitao the feeling that the past was finally behind her. She drank her own bottle and then finished Lumi's as well, consuming a total of three hundred grams of liquor. She felt pleasantly tipsy.

Resting her cheek on her hand, she said to Lumi, "Lumi, I've let you down. I've lied to you for all these years."

"If you want to talk about you and Luke, there's no need. I've known for ages." Lumi pinched her cheek. "When you first graduated, you were so pure and innocent, blushing whenever you stood before him. How many times did you two bump into each other in the elevator lobby? Oh my, stealing glances at each other when you thought I wasn't looking. Did you really think your big sister was blind!"

Lumi giggled. "I'm only curious about whether he was good in bed! A lot of men look tough, but in reality, they're nothing special. Let me tell you, when I was dating in college, I thought that guy was Optimus Prime. But as soon as his pants came off..." Lumi pinched two fingers together. "I panicked on the spot. I asked him: 'Did you forget your gear at home?'"

"Guess what he said?"

"The guy actually said, 'Well, plenty of girls have said mine is quite impressive!'"

Both of them burst out laughing.

Lumi asked her, "How was that guy? Even though I haven't slept with him, you could at least give a review so I can get an idea."

Shang Zhitao pressed her lips together, covering them with her fingers as memories of her time with Luan Nian suddenly flooded back. He was always dominant and always had to take control, but she had truly been happy.

"How was it?" Lumi pressed.

With a blushing face, Shang Zhitao nodded. "Mm, extremely good. Exceptionally, exceptionally good."

"Fuck!" Lumi clapped her hands. "I knew it!"

"What about Will?" Shang Zhitao asked Lumi. "You two have been together for several years now. Why haven't you made plans to get married?"

"Will is too conservative, and his whole family is conservative too. Plus, they don't like me."

"Why?"

"Because my family made our fortune from government property demolition compensation!"

"Bullshit!"

Shang Zhitao slammed her hand on the table and stood up. "What's wrong with getting demolition compensation!"

Lumi pushed her back down. "My goodness, you're really something fierce now. Can't mess with you."

The alcohol hit Shang Zhitao, and she fell fast asleep on the warm brick bed. When she woke up the next morning to gather the clients, not a single person was missing, and everyone was safe and sound. Since there was no seat for Luan Nian on the tour bus, Shang Zhitao tossed the car keys to Fu Dong: "Bring Mr. Luan back to Harbin safely. I'll lead the team back."

And with that, she left.

She remembered the words she had spoken last night. If she were to ride back in the same car with him all the way, it would feel overly awkward. Leaving like this was fine. Once back in Harbin, she would continue her life, while he returned to Beijing—or perhaps the United States—never to meet again.

Life was simply a series of farewells after all. She had experienced the most painful loss, so this time felt like nothing by comparison.

Upon returning to Harbin, she first went to her parents' house to pick up Luke.

Luke was already a middle-aged-to-elderly dog, no longer loving to run and jump around with boundless energy like before. When Shang Zhitao walked him, she didn't have to worry about him dashing forward anymore.

Bringing Luke back home, she began decocting her herbal medicine. The doctor had instructed her to drink it every day for twenty-one consecutive days. Fearing premature aging, Shang Zhitao obediently followed the doctor's orders and decided not to take on any more jobs before the New Year. Her life was more important after all.

Her phone chimed. Opening it, she saw a bank account notification: 2,000 yuan received. Transferor: Luan Nian. Note: Car accident.

Shang Zhitao sent him a text message saying: "Thank you."

Luan Nian did not reply.

A short while later, she received another notification. Shang Zhitao picked up her phone while sipping her medicine. It was another transfer notification: 20,000 yuan received. Transferor: Luan Nian. Note: Bar. It was for when he had offered to buy drinks for all the clients present, and Lumi had misunderstood, having her advance the funds instead.

"Received. Thank you. I checked the bill; it came out to a bit over ten thousand. I'll refund the extra to you." Shang Zhitao actually transferred the excess back to him.

A little while later, yet another transfer notification arrived: 2,000 yuan. Note: Carpool on the way there.

A bit later, one more arrived: 3,000 yuan. Note: Carpool on the return trip.

Shang Zhitao felt that if this continued, they would go on endlessly. She called him directly: "Luan Nian, stop transferring money to me. Driving you there didn't cost anywhere near that much, and I don't want your money."

"Then what do you want?"

"I don't want anything. I want us to end this here, completely wiped clean."

"Mm."

Shang Zhitao hung up the phone, but Luan Nian called her right back. She picked up and heard Luan Nian say, "Shang Zhitao, are you holding a grudge over those bags I gave you? You felt like you were selling your body?"

"And you left without a word because you thought I would say harsh words?"

"Then you're overthinking it. I don't have any harsh words to say. I'm just as happy as you are to wipe the slate clean. I wish you all the best too."

Luan Nian hung up the phone.

Perhaps it was the last time he had visited the United States when Dr. Liang said to him, "It's been so long since the Flora matter passed. If you can move forward, then move forward; if you can't, then entangle yourself with her a bit. Back when your dad was pursuing me, he wasn't above being thick-skinned and relentless."

At that time, Luan Nian had no desire to entangle himself with Shang Zhitao. He felt there was nothing worth entangling over; what was past was past.

Yet when he walked past the breakroom and heard Lumi talking to a colleague, saying, "Thank goodness Flora was there to back me up, otherwise I would've had to pack my bags and scram," his heart had twinged with an itchy, dull ache.

And so he came.

And now he prepared to leave just like that. He hadn't even gotten to see Luke.

After Luan Nian's red Arowana died, he had considered raising something else, and the thought of getting a dog had crossed his mind. All those puppies were adorable, but whenever Luan Nian reached out his hand, he would recall Luke at two months old, rubbing against his pant leg like a little snowball. He also remembered Luke marking his territory in his house, peeing several large puddles, chewing his sofa to shreds, and even having diarrhea in his apartment.

He also remembered Luke sitting in front of him, barking as if arguing with him.

In the end, he never raised another dog. Because he felt that if Luke ever saw him with another dog in his lifetime, the dog would surely be infuriated to death.

Putting on his overcoat, he stepped out of the hotel and strolled aimlessly along the streets of Harbin. Without realizing it, he walked to the tavern. Luan Nian stood outside and glanced in; the tavern was bustling and lively inside.

After watching for a moment, he pushed open the door and walked in.

Da Zhai still remembered him and came over to greet him: "If it isn't Taotao's former boss! Sit right here! What would you like to eat? It's on Auntie."

"Just a couple of simple side dishes."

"Wait right there, young man."

Da Zhai instructed the kitchen to stir-fry the dishes, then brought over a plate of peanuts. Sitting down across from him, she asked, "What is your honorable surname, boss?"

"My surname is Luan."

Da Zhai's hand scalding the wine cups paused briefly, and she asked him again, "And your full name?"

"Luan Nian."