Against the Current - Chapter 101
Chapter 101 - Conflict
Zheng Baichuan said with a dark expression, "The imperial examinations are meant to select talent for the Emperor and are a matter of paramount importance to the state. Especially under our current dynasty, the discipline of the examinations is stricter than ever before. You must not utter such foolish words!"
Zheng Jingxian was instantly left with no place to stand on ceremony, and Song Ke said, "Lord Zheng's words are entirely correct. Although this junior lacks talent, I still wish to rely on genuine ability and learning to try my hand at the examinations. How could your esteemed daughter not understand the gravity of the matter? What she just said was merely spoken in jest." He wore a gentle smile and an amiable demeanor, smoothing away the sudden awkward atmosphere with just two sentences.
Zheng Baichuan nodded slightly, thinking to himself, "Song Fang was a gentle gentleman during his lifetime, and now his son has inherited his father's demeanor; though young, he knows how to speak and read the room. Since he currently lacks a foundation, if he is indeed a man of moldable talent, I might as well give him a lift. Gathering connections is naturally a good thing." His attitude grew two parts warmer as he smiled and said, "The autumn examinations are right around the corner. You must have thoroughly read through the Four Books and Five Classics, I presume?"
Song Ke smiled and said, "I dare not claim to have read them thoroughly, but I have pondered and comprehended the words of the sages for quite some time."
Zheng Baichuan said, "What insights have you gained? Let us hear them."
Song Ke said, "Since ancient times, studying cannot be done in a blindly obsessed manner. If one fails to grasp their true essence, it is merely talking on paper. To say nothing of ten years by the cold window, even thirty or forty years would be of no avail. The key to studying lies in comprehension. Take The Doctrine of the Mean, for instance; one must use their entire body and mind to verify, experience, and comprehend it before achieving true understanding. One cannot blindly search for its logical threads. Once you understand and see through it thoroughly, the logic naturally lies within. Formerly, when I was young and ignorant, there were many things I did not understand when reading, all because my experience of worldly affairs was not deep enough, and my realization of life was not thorough enough. Once the affairs of the world are thoroughly understood and life is fully penetrated, the Dao reveals itself naturally."
As Song Ke spoke fluently at length, Zheng Baichuan stroked his beard, a faint smile touching his face. After asking Song Ke a few more questions, Song Ke answered every single one fluently without hesitation. Zheng Jingxian remained quiet, standing to the side to serve tea. Though Zheng Baichuan signaled her with his eyes several times to withdraw, she pretended not to see. As she watched Song Ke discourse on scholarship, her admiration grew ever deeper, and her feet seemed to have grown roots, unable to move an inch.
Zheng Baichuan sighed inwardly, yet he could only let her be. In his heart, however, he resolved to have a word with Lady Wei regarding Zheng Jingxian's upbringing, and upon returning to the capital, he would invite a rigid upbringing matron from the palace to properly teach her proper decorum.
Song Ke's scholarship was excellent, and his words flowed effortlessly—something Zheng Baichuan could tell with a single test. Shifting the conversation, Zheng Baichuan said, "I have not returned to my hometown for over a decade. Coming back now has stirred up sentimental feelings of home, yet I truly find that 'the rustic sounds remain unchanged, but the temples have grown sparse with age.'"
Song Ke smiled and said, "Lord Zheng is in the prime of his life and vigor; why need you speak of aging? Jiangnan is a prosperous place, displaying a different kind of splendor compared to the capital. If one's heart is at peace, everywhere can be home. This humble person has also recently established some properties in Jiangnan—two or three shops—and some of them actually earn better than those in the capital."
Zheng Jingxian said, "I heard Younger Sister Tan mention that you are currently working very hard, having not only to study but also to manage household affairs. If you encounter any difficulties, feel free to come to us. We are old family friends after all, and we can certainly offer some assistance."
These words were indeed well-intentioned, yet they managed to displease both Zheng Baichuan and Song Ke. Zheng Baichuan thought to himself, "The Song family is indeed a large clan, but back in the day, it was Song Fang who depended upon the Grand Duke of Xian's residence. How did it suddenly become 'old family friends'?" Meanwhile, Song Ke thought, "Even without the Grand Duke of Xian in the past, our Song family never begged from anyone, and we lived quite peacefully. Although this Miss Zheng means well, she always makes it sound as though I must 'beg' the Grand Duke of Xian, which ultimately causes me to lose face."
Yet his face showed no trace of his thoughts; he merely smiled. Zheng Baichuan picked up his teacup to signal the departure of his guest, and Song Ke stood up to take his leave.
As soon as Song Ke departed, Zheng Jingxian immediately latched onto Zheng Baichuan, demanding, "What does Father think of him?"
Zheng Baichuan glared at her and said, "You were the one talking far too much just now!"
Zheng Jingxian furrowed her brows. "Who told Father to treat him so coldly in the first place?" She continued to press him relentlessly, asking what he thought of the young man. He had learning, capability, and a courteous manner; she felt he was a man of responsibility and backbone, and so on.
Although Zheng Baichuan felt Song Ke was not a bad choice, the Song family's foundation was far too thin, so he had no wish to entertain Zheng Jingxian's whims. However, since his daughter chattered on incessantly, he could only stall by saying, "Let us wait until he achieves an official rank before discussing this further."
Zheng Jingxian knitted her brows. She was a clever woman and could discern that her father's meaning was one of dissatisfaction toward Song Ke. She also knew that Song Ke's present treatment of her was merely out of courtesy, and she thought to herself, "From childhood to this day, there has never been a matter I wished for that Father did not agree to; I will simply wear him down slowly over time. As for Song Ke... I will certainly make him look at me in a different light. The Song family is in decline right now, but once he passes the examinations to secure an official title, I will definitely have my father help him plot a promising career so he knows exactly how many benefits come with marrying a woman of my standing. Even if he feels a deep sense of gratitude toward me, he cannot afford to remain so lukewarm!"
Meanwhile, after leaving the Zheng family's ancestral residence, Song Ke stepped into the autumn breeze and let out a deep breath. In his early years, the Grand Duke of Xian had been granted a peerage for military merits, though it was of the lowest rank. Later, because he rendered meritorious service in supporting the Eighth Prince's uprising, he enjoyed considerable imperial favor. Song Ke did not care for Zheng Baichuan's character. Back when his family was on friendly terms with the Grand Duke's residence, there had indeed been a fair amount of genuine affection. Later, when his father passed away, many of his lifetime friends came to offer condolences and assistance, but the Grand Duke's residence merely sent perfunctory funerary gifts to mark the occasion, and on the day of the burial, they only dispatched a concubine-born son, cutting off all further interaction thereafter. When he wanted to split the household and break away, wolves surrounded the clan, scrambling to seize their branch's estate. He had once submitted a calling card to beg the Grand Duke for help, only to wait through several visits just to sit in empty rooms while the doorkeepers uniformly dismissed him with the excuse that "His Lordship is busy at court and has not yet returned home."
His visit today, though forced upon him by Zheng Jingxian's words, also harbored a desire not to be looked down upon by Zheng Baichuan—to show that the son of the old friend once shut out of those gates was now living respectably, and would never again need to lower himself to beg before their doors! Yet he had not expected Zheng Jingxian to repeatedly bungle matters and achieve the opposite effect.
He had already perceived Zheng Jingxian's youthful maidenly affections. If she were not Zheng Baichuan's daughter of aristocratic birth, he would undoubtedly have weighed and considered the matter... Back then, he had harbored intentions toward the Lin family's second young lady, Lin Dongqi, and had even privately dropped hints to his younger sister, Song Chai. Unfortunately, Madam Qin was a shrewd woman with her own private calculations; the two exchanged ambiguous riddles that went nowhere, casting the matter aside. Furthermore, up to the present day, he suddenly found Chen Xianglan by his side...
Xianglan felt like his deceased wife Shen from his previous life, evoking a sense of intimacy deep within his heart. In that past life, he and his wife had treated each other with mutual respect like honored guests, though they were forced into a life-or-death struggle for survival during banishment and exile. Though their time together was short, it was deeply etched into his bones. Originally, he had also harbored romantic feelings for his maternal cousin, but Madam Shen had secretly saved her own rations to feed him, pawned all her jewelry to seek out doctors and medicine for him, and cared for his family. His heart had been filled with immense gratitude and an inexpressible tenderness. After a short while, his cousin had faded into a blurred shadow. Meeting Xianglan now, he even harbored the urge to compensate her for all the affection he had failed to give Madam Shen.
He figured that in the future, he could have Xianglan's household registration removed from servitude, elevate her to the status of a favored concubine, and live out their days side by side in long-lasting companionship. Who would have guessed that Xianglan herself was unwilling? During these past few days, whenever frustration flared up within him, he would sometimes think, "Perhaps I should just let her go entirely." Yet the moment that thought crossed his mind, his heart felt as though it were being repeatedly pierced by a sharp blade, aching terribly. At other times, he would grow fierce: "I will simply keep her firmly in my grasp! What can she do even if she refuses to be a concubine?" But the thought of Xianglan's inherent fierce backbone always extinguished that notion; moreover, he truly could not bear to cause her grief.
Yet today, with the whole incident involving Zheng Jingxian, Song Ke suddenly felt a sense of sudden clarity—when he married Madam Shen in his past life, he had secretly caught a glimpse of her behind a screen, finding her poised, refined, and possessed of the grace of a great noble family, which was why he had agreed to the match. After marriage, Madam Shen had indeed proved gentle, tactful, steady, and magnanimous, leading him to believe that marrying a high-born lady brought immense advantages. What if it were replaced by someone like Zheng Jingxian? Song Ke shook his head slightly.
Unconsciously, he rode his horse back to the back alley of the Song residence, stopping before the Chen family's door, and looked up toward that window once more. Recalling how a scholar had stood downstairs yesterday spying on Xianglan's private chamber, a surge of fiery anger had flared in Song Ke's chest, robbing him of a sound sleep all night. Today, he was determined to question Xianglan thoroughly about it.
Just as he prepared to dismount, he heard the door creak open. Madam Xue walked out carrying a bamboo basket and froze upon seeing Song Ke, looking as stunned as if a live dragon had fallen from the skies. She hurriedly gestured for him to enter, saying, "Elder Master Song, please come inside! Please come inside!" At the same time, she stepped further in and shouted up toward the upper floor, "Xianglan! Elder Master Song is here!" Beaming with smiles from ear to ear, she told Song Ke, "Elder Master Song, please come in and take a seat. The house is messy and hardly fit to receive a distinguished guest."
Song Ke dismounted and handed the reins to Shimo, suddenly remembering that he had come rushing to Xianglan's house without bringing a single gift. Guessing what was on his mind, Shimo lowered his voice and said, "There is a pack of pastries in the pouch on the saddle. I brought them just in case Elder Master grew hungry along the way."
Song Ke chuckled softly and said, "You little rascal, I'll reward you when we get back." With that, he carried the pastries and stepped into the house.
Madam Xue was already bustling about, nimbly wiping down the tables and chairs with a rag while bustling to rearrange a plate of fruit. Song Ke smiled and said, "Auntie Xue, there's no need to fuss. I came here on business and just dropped by to see Xianglan." As he spoke, his gaze drifted up toward the staircase.
Madam Xue smiled apologetically and said, "Indeed. Just a moment ago, I was saying she ought to head back to the residence for duty." With that, she scurried to the back to boil hot water and brew tea.
At that moment, the sound of footsteps was heard, and Xianglan walked down gracefully. Her hair was styled into a slanted bun held by two or three jade-inlaid hairpins, and she wore a wine-red outer jacket embroidered with white plum blossoms, paired with a bright crimson pleated skirt and a sweat-rag. Her slender waist was willow-like and within the span of a single grasp. With a serene expression, she offered a deep curtsy to Song Ke and said, "May the Elder Master be blessed with peace and well-being."
Song Ke felt as though they had not seen each other in two or three days, yet Xianglan seemed to have grown much more distant from him, stirring an uncomfortable sensation in his heart. The words that tumbled out of his mouth unbidden were, "Today, I am here to take you back." But immediately afterward, regret struck him—he was still hesitating and undecided; how should he explain things if he brought her back just like this? Yet his heart beat with restless anxiety, as if Xianglan would slip away from him forever if he failed to keep her by his side.
Xianglan quietly watched Song Ke for a moment before speaking softly, "Have you thought it through?"
Song Ke gave a bitter laugh, as if not daring to meet Xianglan's gaze, and shook his head, saying, "Not yet."
Xianglan said, "Then you should come..."
Looking fixedly at Xianglan, Song Ke said, "I can no longer endure it!"
Xianglan paused, startled.
Song Ke said, "I can't take it anymore. These past two days, I haven't been able to focus on my books, nor could I sleep peacefully. I keep wondering what you are doing, and whether your heart holds any thought of me. What you spoke of... I haven't figured it out yet, but if you don't let me see you, I feel as though I am going to lose my mind."