Wish You All the Best - Chapter 117

Chapter 117

That night, Jiafu did not return.

The courtyard where she and Pei You'an had previously lived was still empty. Tanxiang cleaned it up, spread out the bedding, and Jiafu stayed the night.

Cui Yinshui arrived later, bringing an oral decree from the young Emperor, ordering the imperial physicians to remain at the Duke’s mansion and spare no effort in the treatment. Cui Yinshui remained to attend to Jiafu.

"His Majesty commanded this servant to convey a message: he asks that you, Mistress, must take care of your health and not be overcome by grief," Cui Yinshui said.

Jiafu felt a mixture of gratification, pride, and a touch of sorrow.

Her Ci'er was still so young, yet the words he spoke already carried a touch of precociousness.

She felt no drowsiness. She sat under the lamp while Tanxiang kept her company, chatting idly and doing needlework, when suddenly some voices drifted in from outside. Tanxiang went out to look and returned, saying, "It is that girl from the Second Master's branch. With the household in chaos, she has run over here."

The girl’s name was Hui-jie. Jiafu hurriedly told Tanxiang to bring her in. Tanxiang complied, and a moment later, she led Hui-jie inside. The little girl stopped behind a small side table; her hair was disheveled, and her face was marked with dirty tear streaks from crying. She looked at Jiafu timidly, not daring to get close at first.

Jiafu walked over with a smile, took her hand, and led her to the side of the bed. Tanxiang brought a basin of warm water to help her wash her face and hands. Jiafu undid the girl's messy braids, took a comb, and slowly smoothed them out before tying her hair into two neat braids. She examined her for a moment and smiled, "Auntie has no daughter. In the future, if you have nothing to do, remember to come to Auntie’s place to play."

Zhou Jiao'e had not been unkind to this daughter during her lifetime, but because she had a fiery temper, faced conflicts with her mother-in-law, was unloved by her husband, and lived a difficult life, she would frequently scold Hui-jie and take her frustrations out on the child. She would regret it later, only to do it again the next time. Over the years, coupled with the fact that her grandmother and father showed her little affection, Hui-jie had grown up timid. For the past three years that Jiafu had lived in the Duke’s mansion, Zhou Jiao'e, out of jealousy, never allowed her daughter to visit Jiafu. Yet, deep down, Hui-jie harbored a deep sense of reverence and longing for this young eldest aunt, who always looked so gentle and possessed such a beautiful smile. Tonight, her mother had suddenly passed away. The wet nurse and maids near her, worried about their future, were in a panic, and she didn't know where they had run off to. Afraid, she had wandered here without realizing it.

Hui-jie opened her eyes wide, staring blankly at Jiafu for a moment before tears welled up again.

Jiafu gathered her into her arms and gently patted her back.

Gradually, the little girl closed her eyes in her arms and fell into a deep sleep.

At this moment, there was more movement outside.

The wet nurse had finally realized Hui-jie was missing and had searched until she found this place.

Jiafu gently laid Hui-jie down on the bed and told Tanxiang to go out and pass word that since the child was asleep, she would stay the night and be picked up the next morning.

The wet nurse agreed meekly and bowed out.

Jiafu tucked the girl in, told Tanxiang and the others to get some rest, and slept on the outer side herself.

At the second watch, news came from the second branch: Pei Xiuluo’s injuries were too severe, and he had just passed away.

Jiafu rose, dressed, and rushed over. Before she even entered the courtyard, she heard wailing. Upon walking in, she saw Cao Shi holding her year-old son, with several people gathered by the bed, weeping bitterly.

The imperial physician said, "The Third Young Master’s injuries were too critical; I am powerless to save him..."

He sighed, bowed to Jiafu, and withdrew.

The Second Mistress sat by the edge of the bed, her eyes red and fixed, staring blankly at Jiafu. Gradually, her gaze fell toward the doorway behind Jiafu, as if she had seen something. Her eyes suddenly widened, staring intently with an expression of pure terror.

Jiafu turned her head, but saw only the empty space behind her and the pitch-black night outside; there was nothing there.

The Second Mistress, however, could not even remain seated; she slid to the floor and knelt, kowtowing while weeping, "I beg you, let my son go... I didn't mean to... do not come for me either... I will burn spirit money for you, I will hold a service for you, just go back quickly, do not come for me..."

"Second Mistress! Second Mistress!"

The servants called out in panic and went to help her, but the Second Mistress let out a sharp cry, as if she had seen a vengeful ghost. She pushed their hands away, scrambled up from the floor, and turned to run as if her life depended on it. She slammed headfirst into the wall with a "thud," her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed to the ground, unconscious.

The servants were terrified and looked to Jiafu.

Jiafu ordered them to carry her back to her room and instructed the servants to return to their duties. News arrived from the main branch that Madam Xin had also fallen ill, running a fever and talking nonsense. Fortunately, Quan-ge’s condition was relatively stable and had not deteriorated. Jiafu had the physician check on him once more before arranging for rest.

This chaotic, wretched night finally came to an end.

Late the next night, Pei You'an returned. After hearing Jiafu recount the events, just as he fell silent, a servant came to report that Pei Quan was outside requesting an audience.

Jiafu followed to the doorway and saw Pei Quan holding his grandson, both standing in the courtyard. He looked haggard, his eyes swollen, and he seemed to have aged significantly overnight. Upon seeing Pei You'an, he could not speak before bursting into sobs and lifting the hem of his robe to kneel.

Pei You'an stepped forward, immediately lifted him up, and invited Pei Quan to wait briefly in the family ancestral hall. After finishing his words, he saw the child looking up at him with clear, innocent eyes. He patted the boy's head, then sent for Pei Xiuzhi, saying, "Tell him I have things to say."

The servant acknowledged the order and hurried away.

Pei You'an was about to leave, but his footsteps faltered.

He turned his head, looked at Jiafu who was standing in the doorway watching him, and smiled at her—a smile of profound warmth.

Jiafu returned his smile.

He nodded, then took the child's hand and led him away.

Jiafu watched his silhouette until it disappeared outside the courtyard gate.

That late night, the ancestral hall of the Duke’s mansion was filled with candles that burned without ceasing. Pei You'an, Pei Quan, and Pei Xiuzhi remained inside for a long time. Aside from the ancestors of the Pei family, no one knew what he said to them. The servants waiting outside the hall later only heard the faint sounds of Pei Xiuzhi’s crying coming from within.

After Pei You'an left, he still knelt before the ancestral tablets for a long time, not rising until dawn.

It was nearly the fourth watch when Pei You'an returned to their room. Jiafu had been waiting for him, and upon hearing his familiar, steady footsteps, she felt a surge of joy and ran to the door to greet him.

In this lifetime, from the moment they first met until now, over a decade had passed in the blink of an eye. She was no longer a girl in her early prime, and he had long since passed thirty, stepping into middle age. People around them came and went; like clouds rolling and unfurling, right and wrong were difficult to discern, but their two hearts remained the same.

In his presence, she was forever the delicate young girl who had once called him "Elder Cousin" at the post house, the girl who would dash toward him regardless of the world, wishing only to entwine her life with his.

Pei You'an pushed the door open and saw her smiling, rushing toward him. The heavy burdens and regrets that had lingered in his heart throughout the night vanished in an instant.

He smiled, lifted her up, carried her to the bed, and chided her in a low voice for not sleeping yet.

Jiafu lay back on the pillow, tugging at his sleeve: "You hadn't returned, so I couldn't sleep!"

Pei You'an laughed, with a touch of doting helplessness. He removed his outer robes, lay down with her, turned on his side, wrapped an arm around her, and gently patted her back: "I am back now. Sleep."

Jiafu wrapped her arms around his waist as she was accustomed to doing.

"Elder Cousin, is there anything I need to do?"

After a while, she asked softly.

Pei You'an was silent for a moment.

"Fu'er, tomorrow the household will hold the funeral. To the outside world, we will only say the storeroom caught fire, and the flames spread, unfortunately claiming lives. I will handle things on the outside, and as for the rest..."

"I understand," Jiafu nodded immediately. "I have already told Tanxiang to pack my things and bring them over tomorrow morning. I will stay for a while to manage affairs."

"Thank you for your hard work," Pei You'an stroked her long hair.

Jiafu smiled at him: "I am not tired. You are the one who is."

Pei You'an kissed her, finally pulling her tightly into his arms with a sigh: "Fu'er, Uncle will raise that child properly, and Xiuzhi has also sworn before the ancestors that he will strive for self-improvement and take good care of his mother and children. Before I returned just now, I also went to see Madam Xin. Seeing her as she is now, I recalled the scene from when I was sixteen, when she was cursing and filled with resentment before Father’s spirit tablet. Because of my birth, their lives were changed. Like Madam Xin, she lived a life of misery, and only today has she found some release. Sometimes I have a fanciful thought: if I had never existed in this world, would their lives have been happier than they are now?"

Jiafu shook her head.

"Elder Cousin, some time ago I read Buddhist sutras regarding the suffering of life. What are the eight sufferings? Birth, old age, sickness, death, separation from loved ones, not obtaining what one seeks, meeting those one hates, and the vexations of worry. Since life exists, suffering follows like a shadow. The wise transcend it, while the foolish weave their own cocoons. Even without you, their lives would have had other sufferings. The root is not in you, but in the human heart."

"I don't care how they are; I only know, Elder Cousin, without you, my life would never know joy. If I told you that Heaven arranged for you to come into this world, allowing me to live two lifetimes, just to complete me, would you believe me?"

Pei You'an’s gaze was slightly startled, but he did not interrupt, waiting for her to continue.

"Elder Cousin, do you remember when you once said you didn't know what you had done in a past life to deserve my companionship in this one? Do you remember how I answered you?"

Before he could reply, she continued: "I said then, you saved me in a past life, and I have held onto that memory firmly in this one. Even though you forgot me, I had latched onto you."

"I meant every word. Even if those were just a dream, only because I have experienced it do I know that because of you, Elder Cousin, I have become so fortunate."

"In this life, though there are things that didn't go according to plan, I am a blessed person."

Her tone was exceptionally solemn.

Pei You'an stared at her.

Jiafu snuggled closer, her arms tightly hugging his neck, her lips against his ear, whispering:

"Elder Cousin, back then, you were my Elder Cousin, and I was your cousin. I didn't know how wonderful you were, nor did I know the pain you shouldered. I lived my life in a daze, and we were strangers to one another until later, in the only time we met in that remaining life, at my most desperate and helpless moment, you saved me without hesitation. It was only then that I realized there were men in this world as upright and pure as you. Since I have been granted this life, I have held onto you. Elder Cousin, tell me, how could I possibly miss you again?"

In the depths of Pei You'an’s eyes, a faint light shimmered.

"Fu'er, I want to hear you tell me of your past-life dream. I want to know how I saved you in your dream."

Jiafu smiled, her fingertips lovingly caressing his thin, handsome face before she leaned in to kiss him: "Then you must be prepared. After all, it is not a pleasant story."

Pei You'an was slightly taken aback, then burst into laughter. He lifted Jiafu up, rolled over with her on the bed, and finally let her lie on his chest.

With their eyes met, both saw themselves reflected in the pupils of the other.

"Do we not already have this present life? Fu'er and I will never be separated in this lifetime."

He smiled, tightening his arms around her bit by bit, until he had pulled her completely into his embrace.

Between the two, there was no longer a shred of distance.

……

Postscript

……

Early morning. The mountain scenery was clear and bright as the rising sun ascended. Accompanied by a melodious morning bell, a pair of special incense pilgrims arrived outside the gates of the Royal Ci'en Temple. The man was in middle age, wearing a plain green robe and cloth shoes; he was tall, thin, and handsome, with the appearance of an ordinary scholar. The woman was extraordinarily beautiful; what was most rare was that her gaze remained as clear as a young girl’s, and her lips curled into a slight smile. She wore no superfluous ornaments, yet relying on her husband, the two stood side by side outside the mountain gate, appearing truly simple yet noble, distinct from the common crowd.

The monks naturally recognized this middle-aged couple. Upon hearing the news, the abbot, out of respect, came out personally to welcome them, pressing his palms together in a greeting to the couple. After returning the salute, they entered the mountain gate and headed inside.

The man was Pei You'an; the woman was Jiafu.

This year was the ninth year of Yongyi.

Two years prior, Pei You'an, who had been appointed by the late Emperor as a minister of guardianship, had returned power to the fourteen-year-old Emperor after many years as regent, and the young Emperor began his personal rule.

Over the past two years, Pei You'an had remained in the court to assist the Emperor, but he had gradually relinquished many affairs of state, allowing the Emperor to make his own decisions.

Three months ago, the Emperor reached the age of sixteen. When another regent, Zhang Shiyong, submitted a resignation due to old age and declining health, the Emperor, moved by his years of service, appointed Zhang’s granddaughter as Empress, with the grand wedding to be held when the Emperor turned eighteen.

Subsequently, as wind stirred in the northern frontiers which had been peaceful for many years, Pei You'an submitted a petition to the young Emperor. He stated that he had been favored by the late Emperor and had occupied a high position for many years, walking as if on thin ice, never daring to slacken. Fortunately, the Emperor was a true dragon, exceptionally talented and now an adult. Having ruled personally for two years, the Emperor’s awe-inspiring majesty was respected by all under Heaven. He wished to serve the Emperor once more as a vanguard, but his heart was not in the court; it was in the northern frontier, where he had shed his blood protecting the land in his youth. He begged the Emperor to allow him to return to the frontier to guard the borders for the Emperor, for the people of Great Wei, and for his own heart.

The young Emperor refused, but Pei You'an remained firm in his resolve and submitted two more petitions.

After the third petition, the young Emperor tearfully granted the request and issued an imperial decree: he would retain all the titles Pei You'an had held during his nearly ten years of assisting the state, without conferring them upon anyone else. He granted him the title of Prince of Jin, ranking him above all relatives of the clan and first among the princes; he would never need to kneel before the Emperor, and his princely mansion would be hereditary forever, enduring alongside the nation.

During the nearly ten years that had passed, Great Wei could be described as "the Way being followed, plans being sound, the sovereign sage and the ministers virtuous, the era peaceful and prosperous." Pei You'an had overseen national affairs, and his prestige was immense. Meanwhile, as the young Emperor grew, he had also begun to show his mettle—not only steady and wise, but subtly beginning to reveal the dignity of a monarch who ruled over all under Heaven. Whispers in the court suggested that Zhang Shiyong’s resignation was actually due to the Emperor’s dissatisfaction with his recent attempts to form a clique, thus forcing him to step down. As for appointing his granddaughter as Empress and delaying the wedding for two years, that was a strategy of appeasement, showing the monarch was grown while pacifying hearts. By the time two years passed, who could say what the world would look like?

Several years ago, some had privately speculated that although the sovereign and ministers were harmonious, one was a powerful minister of guardianship, and the other was an ambitious young Emperor. After Pei You'an had held power for nearly a decade, many doubted the process of returning power to the Emperor could be completed without complications.

Never had anyone expected that three petitions and one decree would settle everything in a few short months without a storm rising.

Pei You'an was set to leave the capital shortly. This morning, he brought Jiafu out of the city. Together, they came to the Royal Ci'en Temple, leaving their entourage at the foot of the mountain. Upon entering the temple, they first worshipped at the Pei family’s hall, then paid respects to the Duke of Wei and the grandmother, and finally walked to the courtyard where the aunt had stayed before her death. The couple entered, knelt, and performed kowtows toward the direction of the dwelling and the late Emperor’s mausoleum. After bowing from afar, they emerged and told the monks that there was no need to keep this courtyard vacant; it could be put to full use, as this was surely the wish of the Empress Tianxi Yuan.

The two wandered the temple until evening before taking their leave, escorted by the monks out of the gate.

Pei You'an held Jiafu’s hand, leading her down the mountain. Halfway down, they stopped to stand on the winding mountain path to watch the sunset. They saw the mountains and fields layered in gold, birds returning to their nests, and forests as beautiful as a painting.

Pei You'an smiled: "Li Yishan’s famous lines, 'The sunset is infinitely good, but it is near the dusk,' though a masterpiece for the ages, are perhaps overly melancholy. Who says that being near dusk is not good? After tonight, tomorrow will be a new sunrise. Being untalented, I shall change it to: 'The sunset is infinitely good, as I drive through the night to greet the dawn.' What do you think, Fu'er?"

Jiafu laughed and teased him: "You have quite the nerve to criticize Yishan’s poem! Why don't you mention the first two lines? 'Feeling troubled in the evening, I drive my carriage to the old plains.' In such a state of mind, how could you expect him to write your 'driving through the night to greet the dawn'?"

Pei You'an was in high spirits and laughed out loud, his laughter vibrating through the mountains and forests, startling several returning birds into flapping their wings and flying into the sky.

As the sunset retreated, he continued to lead her down. Returning to the foot of the mountain, they traveled back by carriage together. Jiafu leaned against her husband’s chest. Halfway there, she suddenly heard his voice: "Fu'er, you will follow me to the frontier shortly. It will be hard on you."

Jiafu sat up straight. Seeing him staring at her with gentle eyes, the silence between them surpassing a thousand words, she smiled beautifully: "Elder Cousin, Ci'er is certainly capable of handling his position. From now on, you and I have no other attachments; where you are, is where my heart belongs. If you read by the window, I will brew tea and add incense for you; if you don your armor and go to battle, I will wait for your return. Together, what hardship could there be?"

Pei You'an pulled her into his arms: "Fu'er, no wonder the depths of my heart always yearn for Suye City. If that was truly the place where I was buried in the prime of my past life, then in this life, how fortunate I am! Because of you, the city where I was buried in a past life has become my home in this one. Most people’s lives are filled with dissatisfaction, and I am no different, yet how many can be as fulfilled as I am because of you?"

He kissed her gently; every sigh between them was one of fulfillment.

When the carriage entered the city and stopped at the gate of the mansion, it was nearly the third watch.

Pei You'an stepped off and helped Jiafu down. Jiafu stood still and saw a large horse tethered by the horse-hitching stone. The horse had a gold bit and jade reins, looking proud, healthy, and exceptionally majestic. Seeing her appear, it seemed to recognize her, stamping its front hooves gently and wagging its tail happily.

Jiafu recognized it at a glance—it was Taoxue (Snow-Treader). Many years ago, Pei You'an had sent it to the Imperial Stables to grow up with Ci'er. After Ci'er turned ten, it became his mount and had accompanied him ever since.

Never had she expected to suddenly see Taoxue here this night.

Jiafu’s heart began to race. She hurried inside, but before she could speak, the gatekeeper was already on his knees, saying that His Majesty the Emperor had arrived in plain clothes tonight and had been waiting for them in the study, and had not yet left.

Jiafu and her husband exchanged a glance and hurried to the back hall to Pei You'an’s study. They saw Cui Yinshui standing at the door. Upon seeing them enter, he hurried over, bowed, and said, "Sir, Mistress, His Majesty is inside..."

Jiafu left her husband behind, pushed open the slightly ajar study door, and stepped inside. Her eyes went straight to the desk where a handsome young man was sitting quietly. His brows and eyes were like a painting, his spirit extraordinary, though a hidden gravity lay between his brows. He wore a simple green robe and held Pei You'an’s pen, his head slightly bowed, as if concentrating intensely on writing something.

On the desk beside his hand was the stack of childhood exercises Pei You'an had preserved. The paper had yellowed with time, but it had been neatly bound. Each stroke on the paper was as immature as a crawling insect, but it was enough to see the diligence with which it had been written.

Jiafu stopped abruptly, staring fixedly at the young man’s figure, unable to move for a moment.

The youth was startled by the sound of footsteps and finally looked up, gazing at Jiafu without blinking. Slowly, he put down his pen and suddenly rose, stepping quickly to her side. The young man, who now stood taller than her, reached out just as he had when he was a child, tightly grabbing her sleeve, calling "Mother," and sinking to his knees before her.

In an instant, Jiafu burst into tears. She hugged her son’s head tightly, gently stroking his hair.

Pei You'an stood outside the door, watching the scene quietly; he did not enter, nor did he make a sound to disturb them.

After a long while, the young man was pulled up by Jiafu.

She wiped her tears, and although the youth’s eyes were slightly red, he smiled as he led Jiafu to the desk, pointing to the practice sheet he had just copied: "Mother, come look. Has my handwriting improved since I was a child?"

Jiafu could not help but feel a blend of heartache and joy. Forcing back the tears that threatened to overflow, she looked at them one by one, nodding and praising him constantly.

The young man stood to the side, silently watching his mother, who remained so young and beautiful; his eyes were full of smiles and tenderness.

He raised his eyes and saw the figure standing outside the door, so he helped Jiafu to a seat and walked toward the doorway himself.

The gentle smile he had worn for Jiafu disappeared; his expression became solemn. He walked step by step until he was before the majestic figure of his father. They looked at one another for a moment, and he slowly knelt before him.

"Father, I have come here tonight because I wish to accompany you in finishing the game of chess we left unfinished all those years ago."

The young man kowtowed respectfully and spoke.

……

The young man brought out the chessboard Pei You'an had made for him by hand when he was three years old.

The board was old, but the places where the pieces were often touched remained as bright as new.

When Pei You'an first saw it, for a moment, he felt dazed, as if he had returned to those long-gone days.

That night, a father had accompanied his son in a game of chess. Halfway through, the father had left for business, and when he returned, the son had fallen asleep over the board. When he woke up, he still remembered the unfinished game, and the father had said that he remembered the position and would surely accompany him to finish it when he had time.

"Father, you may not know, but these years in the palace, when I couldn't sleep in the dead of night, I would take out this chessboard and split my mind in two, playing against myself. I know you are a master of chess, Father. Please, give me your guidance on how my skill is today."

Pei You'an took a piece, his thumb gently touching the smooth grain of the wood. He took a long breath, closed his eyes for a moment of meditation, then opened them and placed the piece on a grid.

Piece after piece, the unfinished game from all those years ago soon appeared before the youth.

He smiled slightly at the youth opposite: "Is it this way?"

The young man slowly raised his gaze, his eyes shining with a faint, shimmering light, and nodded.

……

The game of chess continued until the fifth watch.

At the sound of the rooster’s crow, the victory was decided.

Pei You'an lost the game by a single miscalculated move.

He examined the board, dropped his piece, and shook his head with a sigh: "I am old. I cannot calculate as well as you."

The youth smiled: "You were letting me win, Father; do you think I don't know? Just like you and Mother, all these years, to keep me at ease, you have had no other sons or daughters..."

He turned his head to gaze at his beautiful mother, who had finally succumbed to exhaustion and was curled up on a nearby couch, sleeping soundly and covered by his father’s outer robe. After a moment, he lowered his voice: "Father, I was ignorant before, but now that I have grown up, I have been hoping for years that Mother might bear me a younger sibling. If that wish can be fulfilled, Ci'er will have no more regrets in this life."

Pei You'an looked toward his beloved wife, who remained oblivious in her dreams, and a faint smile slowly appeared on his lips.

The youth gathered the chess pieces one by one, finally putting away the board as if it were a precious treasure, holding it tightly in his hands. He stood up, knelt before Pei You'an and Jiafu once more, and after a solemn kowtow, said: "Father, Taoxue is more suited to the vast world of the frontier. It loves to gallop freely; the imperial palace is like a cage to it. I leave it to you, Father."

"Please look after Mother on my behalf, Father."

He took one last look at the woman still sleeping, finished his words, and turned to leave with rapid strides.

Pei You'an watched the young man’s green silhouette disappear out the door. He was lost in thought for a moment before picking up the sleeping Jiafu to carry her back to their room.

Jiafu was half-asleep, leaning against her husband’s warm chest. She rubbed against him comfortably when she suddenly remembered and grabbed his arm, opening her eyes: "Where is Ci'er?"

Pei You'an said: "He finished the chess game and left."

Jiafu hurriedly climbed off him and dashed out into the courtyard. Seeing the gray morning light in the east, the courtyard gate open, and the morning dew glistening on the treetops, the surroundings were already empty. Where was the silhouette of that handsome youth?

She stood in place for a moment.

Pei You'an walked up and draped the outer robe that had fallen from her shoulders back onto her, saying softly: "I didn't want to wake you because I feared you would cry."

Jiafu’s eyes were already red. She threw herself into her husband’s arms, closing her eyes and choking with emotion: "Did Ci'er say anything?"

Pei You'an leaned down and whispered a few words into her ear. Jiafu broke into laughter through her tears, her face flushing crimson. She pushed him away, ignored him, and turned to head inside.

Reaching middle age, if one were fortunate enough to have another child with her...

That would be very good.

Pei You'an watched his beloved wife’s retreating figure and smiled, his hands behind his back, following her inside at a leisurely pace.

End of Main Text