Wish You All the Best - Chapter 100

Chapter 100

As Jiafu’s consciousness gradually returned, she felt as though she were being cradled in someone’s arms. The taste in her mouth was incredibly bitter, and her nose was filled with the heavy scent of medicinal herbs; it seemed someone was feeding her medicinal decoction.

She had never been able to stomach bitter medicine. Even before her eyes could open, she subconsciously wanted to turn her head away, but her face was firmly held by the person. She lacked the strength, nor could she make a sound. Before she could even swallow the previous mouthful of bitter medicine, another was pressed into her mouth.

Her eyelashes fluttered, and she furrowed her brows, struggling against the force compelling her to take the medicine—just then, she felt the person seem to go mad. Her own face began to ache, as if it were being constantly patted by something.

"Fu’er! Fu’er! Wake up!"

The voice became clearer and clearer. Another mouthful of bitter medicine was forced in, and due to her resistance, half flowed down her throat while the rest spilled from the corners of her lips.

My mouth is so bitter…

My face hurts so much…

Jiafu groaned, finally waking from the last remnants of that illusory, dreamlike sea, and slowly opened her eyes.

The first thing she saw upon opening her eyes was the final scene of her dream: the man walking toward her from the depths of the darkness, reaching out his hand and telling her he would take her home.

However, the man holding her right now possessed none of the graceful, elegant charm from her dream.

Pei You’an’s clothes were stained with blood; his eye sockets were deeply sunken, and his jaw was covered in unkempt stubble. A pair of tired, dim eyes, shot through with blood, stared at her without blinking.

"…Big Cousin…"

Jiafu felt weak all over, leaning softly against his chest, and called out to him in a voice as faint as a tiny kitten’s.

A shimmer of blood-tinted tears welled up in the depths of Pei You’an’s eyes.

Jiafu remembered everything.

He had gone to war, and word of his triumph had returned. She had wanted to wait for him at the gate, but before she could reach it, she had gone into labor. The labor lasted a day and a night; it was agonizingly difficult. Finally, she gave birth, felt exhausted, and drifted into sleep…

She did not know how long she had slept, but she knew she must have terrified him.

"…I’m just fine… Don’t be afraid…"

She raised her hand to tenderly touch his haggard cheek to comfort him, then shifted her body, turning her head to look for the child she had borne.

The moment her hand touched his cheek, Pei You’an finally broke down into tears and pulled her straight into his arms.

He held her tightly, clutching her closer and closer, as if to embed her into his own flesh and blood. His strength was so great that he almost caused her to faint again.

Jiafu felt a bit uncomfortable, but even more shocked.

This was only the second time she had seen this man cry.

The last time had been when Grandmother was on her deathbed, and he had returned to kneel before her. But even then, he had not been like this.

It was as if he could no longer suppress his emotions, yet he was trying his hardest to do so. He held her, burying his face deep into her long hair, motionless. Slowly, Jiafu felt a warm, silent moisture seep onto the skin of her neck beneath her hair.

Pei You’an held her like this for a long time. When he finally lifted his head, Jiafu could no longer see his tears, but the depths of his eyes remained bloodshot.

He helped Jiafu lie back down on the pillows with utmost gentleness, as if she were a fragile glass doll that would shatter at a touch. He tucked her in, and with a hoarse voice, he smiled. "Our child is sleeping in the other room. Eat something first, and once you have your strength back, I will bring him over so he can sleep with you."

"I want to see him now—"

Pei You’an shook his head, gently pressed Jiafu back onto the pillow, and went out carrying the medicine bowl.

From outside came a burst of cheering. Jiafu heard the voices of the two maids, Mother Ding, and the young eunuch all mixed together; though she could not distinguish individual words, they were all brimming with joy.

Cui Yinshui’s legs gave out, and unable to stand, he flopped into a snowbank. He scrambled up and began kowtowing to the heavens repeatedly, muttering something under his breath once again.

Tanxiang entered to help Jiafu change her clothes. Jiafu glanced at the pitch-black sky outside the window and asked a question, finally understanding why Pei You’an had looked so haggard and why his emotions had been so out of control when she woke up.

She had given birth the night before last. By the time she woke up, two days and two nights had passed! After the birth, she had been hemorrhaging and had fallen unconscious. Pei You’an had kept watch by her side, feeding her medicine. When she couldn't swallow, he would take it into his own mouth and feed it to her bit by bit. He had held her all night. From the night she went into labor until this very moment, for four nights and three days, he had not closed his eyes for even a second.

Jiafu’s eyes couldn't help but well with tears. Tanxiang hurriedly wiped them away: "You’ve just given birth; you mustn't cry, or you’ll leave behind a lifelong ailment…"

Jiafu quickly wiped away her own tears and told her to bring some food. She was extremely hungry. She wanted to eat a lot, recover her strength quickly to put Pei You’an’s mind at ease, and convince him to bring their baby to her.

She ate a large bowl of minced meat porridge, a sweet custard egg, and two buns, finally feeling her strength return. When Pei You’an brought the medicine again, she obediently downed the bitter liquid in a few gulps. She opened her mouth to accept a piece of brown sugar he fed her, and then looked at him expectantly.

Pei You’an smiled, nodded at her, and turned to leave the room.

Jiafu knew he was going to fetch their son. Tense and excited, she leaned back, her eyes fixed on the door without blinking. A moment later, he returned, personally carrying the infant in the crook of his arm. Tanxiang opened the door curtain for him, and he ducked into the room.

The baby was wrapped tightly and placed gently on the bed. Pei You’an unfolded the cloak wrapping him. Jiafu opened her eyes wide to see a fair, round little human appearing before her.

The little one was incredibly beautiful, with a head of fuzzy, short hair and faint eyebrows. Though only days old, his two rows of eyelashes were already long and curled, his nose was dainty and refined, and his little mouth was pink and tender. He was awake, his round, pitch-black eyes wide open, seemingly looking with curiosity at Jiafu as she leaned in close.

Pei You’an said he had already chosen a milk name for his son: Ci’er, hoping he would always remember his parents' grace—Ci was an ancient mythical bird, the Yangwu; because it had a white beak and was named Ci, it would seek food to feed its mother, and that was how it got its name.

The moment Jiafu saw the child, she completely forgot the pain she had endured to bring him into this world. Suppressing the infinite love surging in her heart, she carefully stretched out her finger and touched his tiny hand. The baby immediately grasped her finger, shaking it slightly, and let out a happy, babbling sound.

"He smiled, he smiled!"

Jiafu was overcome with emotion and looked up. "Big Cousin, can I hold him?"

Pei You’an gazed at the wife who sometimes still seemed as innocent as a child, the corners of his lips curling slightly. "Silly Fu’er, you are his mother, why wouldn't you be able to hold him?"

Jiafu was both happy and nervous. "I'm afraid I won't hold him well…"

Pei You’an laughed, gently lifted the infant from the swaddling clothes, and placed him into Jiafu’s arms.

The room was warm and cozy. The little one was wearing a soft, small jacket Jiafu had made earlier, a soft little bundle carrying a faint milky scent. As he nestled into Jiafu’s arms, he seemed to smell his mother’s scent, and he began to nuzzle against her, pushing and squirming anxiously.

"Ci’er is hungry," Pei You’an said, looking at her with a smile.

Jiafu blushed deeply. She told him to fetch a clean, hot towel for her, set the baby down gently, and under Pei You’an’s smiling gaze, she turned slightly to loosen her bodice. She wiped her chest, then lay down and brought the little one back to her side.

Ci’er closed his eyes, sucking greedily on his mother’s milk and making gulping sounds. Once full, he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Pei You’an lay down as well, reclining on the side of the bed and watching her nurse in silence. Once the little one was finally asleep, he rose, gently picked him up, and placed him in the small bed nearby. After tucking him in, he returned and leaned over, kissing away a drop of residual milk from her breast, which looked like a plump peach, and smiled at her, her cheeks flushed rosy red.

"Tired? Go to sleep."

He tucked her clothes back in with a hint of reluctance and helped her lie flat. But Jiafu burrowed into his arms and hugged him. "Big Cousin, did I frighten you…"

Pei You’an remained silent.

Jiafu slowly loosened her hold on him and looked up at his face, feeling a bit uneasy. "Big Cousin…"

Pei You’an suddenly pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly. He kissed her frantically, his kisses falling like raindrops on her forehead, nose, cheeks, neck, and chest, before returning to her lips. He pushed her lips apart and hungrily sucked on her fragrant tongue, completely entwining it with his own.

He kissed her deeply and for a long time, not letting go. Their saliva mingled until she was nearly suffocating. Only then did he release her and press her head against his chest. Jiafu could feel his heart pounding rapidly, his breathing ragged; it took a long while before he finally calmed down.

"Fu’er, you don’t know how grateful I was to the heavens the moment you opened your eyes. Those two nights when you didn't wake up, every time I thought of the mother who gave birth to me, I felt a terrifying sense of dread. Fu’er, fortunately, you woke up in the end. If you had just left like that, leaving me alone in this life…"

He stopped abruptly, his voice hoarse and strained.

Jiafu’s heart suddenly thumped, but she didn't dare move, just relying on him obediently, listening to what he had to say.

"Fu’er, I never told you before, but my biological mother was none other than my aunt, Empress Yuan of the Tianxi Dynasty. And my biological father…"

He stopped again, closing his eyes.

"Is the former King of Yunzhong, that person now in the imperial palace."

He finally gritted his teeth and said it, word by word.

"Back then, in Ci’en Temple, after my mother gave birth to me, her hemorrhaging wouldn't stop, and within two days, she passed away. My father brought me back to the Pei manor and raised me as his eldest son. That is how the me of today came to be…"

He paused, taking a long, deep breath, as if trying to calm his emotions.

"I never told you this before because it was truly too shameful to speak of. But tonight, I wanted you to know, even if you might despise me for it. Fu’er, I always thought I was just my father's illegitimate child, but who could have known the truth was even more unbearable than I had imagined? I am a man of ill omen—my own mother died because she gave birth to me. I fear that if she has a spirit in heaven, she must detest me to the core. I am a person who shouldn't exist in this world to begin with. If I had lost you today, what joy could there be for me in living?"

Jiafu pushed herself up from his chest.

"Husband, if I told you that before Grandmother passed away, she had already let me know of your background and entrusted me to be by your side for life, what would you think?"

Pei You’an’s gaze froze.

"Husband, you are wrong. How could you be a person who shouldn't exist? And how could I ever despise you because of this? Grandmother and Uncle raised you to adulthood; even on her deathbed, Grandmother still thought of you constantly. She loved you in her heart. If even they could feel that way, how much more so for the mother who risked her life to give birth to you? If she truly detested you, would she have carried you for ten months and risked her life to bring you into this world? It was because she loved you so deeply that she disregarded her own safety, sacrificing her life just to bring you here. If she knew in the afterlife that you were looking down on yourself and thinking of her this way, how heartbroken she would be."

"Husband, I am so comforted that you are willing to tell me this. Your mother loved you, and so do I. She is no longer in this world, but for the rest of this life, I am here. I will accompany you."

"If you do not grow old, I dare not grow gray; if you grow old, I will grow gray alongside you. Husband, are you willing?"

Pei You’an gazed at her for a long time. Slowly, he pulled her into a tight embrace and closed his eyes.