The Early Spring - Chapter 97

Chapter 97 - Broken

Another day passed, and Grace, who almost never engaged in office gossip, said to her, "I've got some gossip."

"?" What is it, Sister Grace?"

"Be careful when speaking in front of Yilia and Luke from now on. A colleague ran into them having dinner together last night." After speaking, Grace sent over a photo. It was likely out of good intentions, reminding Shang Zhitao to avoid raising suspicion.

The photo was taken in a Western restaurant. Luan Nian and Song Ying were seated opposite each other in an atmosphere that was quite romantic. Song Ying was wearing a very pretty dress that looked like a formal evening gown. They were talking about something unknown; Luan Nian was looking at her attentively, and she was smiling.

The workplace was strange like that. A casual, routine meal between colleagues could easily cause news to ferment rapidly, spawning rumors that instantly birthed a new "boss's wife."

Having gone through these past few years, Shang Zhitao was gradually able to see through the truth and falsehood of the workplace. She trusted Luan Nian. He simply liked working with Song Ying, that was all.

Shang Zhitao threw herself into her career while also enjoying her life in the Northwest. On regular days, she would work and learn with extreme diligence; on very rare occasions, Sun Yuanzhu would snatch some leisure from his busy schedule to take her out to have fun.

There were many fun places around the county town.

Sun Yuanzhu drove her around to behold the grand majesty of the Northwest. Circling the county town on round trips of two hundred kilometers in a single day, all of it was the magnificent land of the motherland.

Shang Zhitao did not regret coming to the Northwest at all. Even though life here was hard, she knew how to find joy in the midst of hardship. She felt a career needed to go through a phase like this—escaping the storm to feel the true charm of work.

Passing by Lingmei's project site, Shang Zhitao pointed it out to Sun Yuanzhu: "See that? That's our project. We're going to launch a brand-new cultural tourism industry belt here. Northwest cultural scenery combined with online technology applications—if this project is done well, it can even be replicated elsewhere." After saying that, she patted her own chest: "I, Ms. Shang Zhitao, am the project manager for this project."

Sun Yuanzhu was amused by her: "Are you really that impressive?"

"Yes!"

"Then I wish your project complete success."

"And I wish your autonomous vehicle hits the road soon too."

The Northwest was vast. Sun Yuanzhu rolled down the car window, making them feel as if they were in a deserted wilderness. The wind sent Shang Zhitao's long hair flying, and all of this made her feel free.

"Are you returning to Beijing anytime soon?" Shang Zhitao asked him.

"Phase two of the project ends early next year, so I should be able to head back around April."

"That's great."

"You mentioned wanting to change jobs last time?" Sun Yuanzhu remembered Shang Zhitao saying last year that she wanted to switch jobs, but there had been no movement since, and now she had come to the Northwest instead.

"My former boss wanted to poach me over to his new company. I wanted to go too, but... he... got locked up." Shang Zhitao thought to herself that working in marketing actually carried a lot of risk. She had known this back then, and despite being cautious and meticulous, she had still been investigated once by internal audit.

"Why?"

"Supposedly it involved a massive bribe. I don't know the exact amount, but he's already locked up now. I went to visit him once. After all, he was my former boss and showed me great favor by recognizing my talent." Speaking of Alex, Shang Zhitao felt a wave of emotional sighing, remembering the first time she met him in his office as if it were only yesterday.

"I see..." Sun Yuanzhu nodded: "Not switching jobs might not necessarily be a bad thing."

"Yeah."

Both grew quiet, leaving only the sound of the wind. Sun Yuanzhu was very focused while driving. Shang Zhitao looked at his side profile, weathered and sunburnt by the wind, sand, and scorching sun, thinking that he truly knew how to endure loneliness, staying in a place like this for several years. The wind and sand had changed a person—the once refined face now possessed the resolute contours of the Northwest.

"Is Auntie feeling any better?" Shang Zhitao remembered the phone call she had overheard Sun Yuanzhu making by chance. Since he didn't mention his family often, she hadn't known how her condition progressed later on.

"My mom... passed away," Sun Yuanzhu told her, his tone flat without any rise or fall, as if stating a mundane everyday matter.

"When?"

"During Lunar New Year."

Shang Zhitao was silent for a long time before asking him softly, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"That was the time when you all reunite with your families every year. I didn't want to make you sad."

Shang Zhitao didn't speak. She remembered sending him a message during Lunar New Year, and he had even replied to her. Suddenly, she felt a pang of sadness. When would Sun Yuanzhu be able to pour out his emotions like other people?

"Sun Yuanzhu."

"Hmm?"

"How's your younger sister?"

"My sister does very well in her studies."

"How's your dad?"

"My dad is doing pretty well too."

"What about you?" What Shang Zhitao actually wanted to ask was whether Sun Yuanzhu himself was doing well.

"I'm doing very well too."

No one could define what the "well" Sun Yuanzhu spoke of actually meant. They wandered outside for a day and had dinner before Sun Yuanzhu drove Shang Zhitao back. Downstairs at her apartment building, as the two were parting ways, he suddenly called out to her: "Taotao."

It was that address again—Taotao. That day when he had a high fever, calling her in his delirious state, he had used that exact same tone: Taotao.

Shang Zhitao turned back to look at him, spotting a rare, deep grief within those clear eyes beneath his brows: "Actually, I'm not doing well. I'm very sad."

Shang Zhitao didn't dare to speak. She didn't know how to comfort him. He had lost his mother; he was deeply heartbroken.

She just stood opposite him, frozen in place. Sun Yuanzhu's tears began to fall. He took off his glasses to wipe away the tears—a weeping, helpless man. Like being stranded on a deserted island, he couldn't get out, and others couldn't get in.

He bent down and rested his head against her shoulder, his tears soaking into her clothes. Even so, at such an agonizing moment, he didn't reach out to embrace her, because he remembered the manners he still possessed and the pure friendship between them that could not be tainted.

Shang Zhitao felt her heart breaking for him.

She just stood there letting him weep, during which her hand reached behind his back to gently pat him: "Sun Yuanzhu, it's okay now."

How could it be okay? She didn't know how to comfort him, hating her clumsy tongue and hating her own ignorance. She didn't realize that simply standing here was already a form of comfort to him.

To Sun Yuanzhu, this was already a rare beam of light. Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu were both his light.

Sun Yuanzhu feared the night. The nights were long. With his eyes open, he had tried medication, dietary therapy, and everything else, but nothing worked. His brain spun endlessly—the universe, quantum physics, architecture, poetry, civilization... all the books he had read, the places he had walked through, and the food he had eaten were being rearranged and recombined in his brain through strange elements, as if attempting to break him down and reconstruct a new system. Having barely survived the night, daytime arrived, bringing with it mealtime once more. He grew weary of food, forcing himself to eat at first, only to throw up afterward. He lost his creativity; whereas technology had once been art in his eyes and he had wanted to change the world, now technology held no vitality in his eyes.

These immense torments gnawed at him, consuming him until nothing remained.

"Taotao."

"Sun Yuanzhu." Shang Zhitao finally couldn't help but cry. This was her friend—a friend who had accompanied her through a long stretch of time, a friend who needed her help now. Yet she was so ignorant, not knowing how she ought to help him. She could only let him weep bitterly before her.

Shang Zhitao felt agonizingly sad. Neither of them saw a car parked not far away, where the person inside smoked one cigarette after another, waiting for the messily weeping man and woman in front of him to compose themselves.

Luan Nian found the scene before him somewhat comical. He had taken an afternoon flight to come see her, rented a car himself after landing, and driven for an hour and a half before reaching her building, only to see her roommate weeping bitterly on her shoulder. Of course he knew Shang Zhitao wouldn't cheat, but he saw that her spirit was wavering. Why she had insisted on coming to the Northwest suddenly seemed to have a clear answer. The wait was long and dull; Luan Nian didn't know where men and women in the mortal realm got so many emotions from.

He used to think Shang Zhitao was unwilling to cry, thinking she was exceptionally strong; he couldn't even recall a time when she had cried in front of him. This was the first time he had seen Shang Zhitao crying like this, yet it wasn't in front of him.

An unknown amount of time passed, until even the nighttime wind of the Northwest seemed to come to a halt, and they finally calmed down. Luan Nian saw the gaunt Sun Yuanzhu part from Shang Zhitao. They stood facing each other for a short while, and then he left.

That night changed many people.

Luan Nian had told Shang Zhitao, "Let's start an adventure," and then they really went on an adventure. As he drove toward the airport under the dim lights of the highway, his car was the only one speeding along.

Returning home, Shang Zhitao made a phone call to Sun Yu. Over the phone, she said: "Sun Yuanzhu's mother passed away. He's very sad."

Sun Yu was silent for a long time before saying to her: "I'll be there tomorrow."

"I'll give you the address."

"No need," Sun Yu told her: "I've been there many times. In this lifetime, I live only for him—braving wind and rain, traveling thousands of miles, time and time again."

Neither Sun Yuanzhu nor Sun Yu had ever mentioned this to Shang Zhitao. There was a strange distance between them: Sun Yu could never walk to Sun Yuanzhu's side, yet they were each other's closest kin. Even as close as they were, every time Sun Yu came, Sun Yuanzhu would book a hotel room for her. They would never date. There was only one night when Sun Yu tugged at his sleeve and begged him to stay and chat with her for a few words.

That night, lying fully clothed on the bed, Sun Yu held his hand and talked about her childhood, her failed romances, and her investors. Sun Yuanzhu listened to her talk; when she cried along the way, he wiped her tears for her.

She had asked him: "Can we have a bright future? Can I wait for a future where I love you, you love me, and we walk through many years together?"

Sun Yuanzhu said to her: "I'm sorry."

They would never have a future.

"Then hurry over," Shang Zhitao said tearfully to Sun Yu. For some reason, she was particularly sad today—not just for Sun Yuanzhu, but also because certain unknown things hidden deep within her heart had burst out all at once, leaving her with nowhere to vent.

"Okay."

In truth, none of them knew where fate was pushing them back then—heading east or heading west, there was never a preview.

When Sun Yu arrived the next day, Shang Zhitao asked her: "How many times have you been here?"

"This is the twentieth time."

A woman, for the man she loved, traveled thousands of miles to come here without asking for anything in return, just to have a meal with him, chat for a while, and take an early flight back the next day. This woman's career had picked up, with large sums of capital injected into their company, the number of users growing continuously, and her annual revenue share increasing more and more. In just a few years, fate had pushed a person to the peak.

It was this very woman on the verge of reaching the peak who came to this desolate county town time after time to see her beloved.

Shang Zhitao suddenly understood Sun Yu even better.

Sun Yu didn't seek any kind of return from Sun Yuanzhu; she simply loved him purely, all because of the countless acts of kindness he had given her throughout those long years. Sun Yu had fallen in love with an angel.

"Go find him," Shang Zhitao nudged her.

"You're not going?"

"I'm not going. I think you two should spend some time alone. Tomorrow, after I finish visiting the project site, I'll go find you guys."

Sun Yu giggled, her laughter remaining just as it had always been—the bright, hearty laugh of a Guizhou girl: "Shang Zhitao, you really are a silly girl. I'm off then. Tomorrow, let's go eat roasted lamb leg."

"Okay."

Shang Zhitao watched Sun Yu leave, feeling an empty void in her heart. She called Luan Nian, but Luan Nian's phone was turned off. So she messaged him: "Are you on a business trip?"

More than two hours passed before Luan Nian replied: "Mm. I'm back."

"Where did you go?"

"Changsha." Luan Nian randomly typed a place name, then set his phone down, strictly avoiding any mention of his visit to Shang Zhitao. He felt there was nothing to say; adults should still maintain propriety.

Hardened though Luan Nian was, he also knew that everyone had scars they didn't want to expose to anyone, even if that person might be their lover.

"I'm watching Lu-ke. Lu-ke seems to have gotten fat."

"Mm, watch him."

When he entered the front door, Shang Zhitao was currently talking to Lu-ke, disciplining him remotely: "Sit down!"

Lu-ke tilted his head, pretending he didn't understand.

"You're back?" Shang Zhitao asked him.

He didn't speak, heading straight upstairs to shower. When he didn't want to speak, he was just like this—no matter what you said, he acted as if he hadn't heard a thing. Shang Zhitao noticed he was unhappy, so she didn't bother him, waiting until bedtime at night to say goodnight to him.

Shang Zhitao was particularly great in this regard: regardless of what relationship they were in, she never had a desire for control, nor did she cling to him to talk, not needy in the slightest. She entertained herself and took good care of herself.

"Goodnight," Luan Nian replied to her.

"Can I give you a bedtime phone call?" Shang Zhitao sent another message.

Luan Nian dialed the phone over and heard the sound of paper rustling on Shang Zhitao's end: "I wanted to ask your advice on a few questions the government leaders need us to answer at next week's project kickoff meeting."

"What questions?"

"Questions regarding the cultural tourism project's IP. The government leaders raised the point that our current IP formulation isn't distinctive enough."

"When was this raised?"

"This evening."

The implied meaning was that the government leaders had changed their requirements.

"Schedule a three-party meeting for the day after tomorrow. I'll arrive tomorrow at noon."

"Okay."

Luan Nian hung up the phone and tagged Yilia in the work group chat: "Come with me to the Northwest tomorrow. The client changed requirements. Cover the three-party meeting in Grace's place."

"Received."

Shang Zhitao was also in the group chat, and as the project manager, she definitely had to speak up at this point: "Thanks for your hard work, Luke and Yilia. The sales colleagues will come over together from Xi'an tomorrow. The meeting is set for the morning of the day after tomorrow; after everyone arrives tomorrow, we'll do an internal alignment first."

"Alright, thanks for your hard work, Flora," Yilia replied like this.

Shang Zhitao put down her phone and prepared to sleep. She wouldn't question Luan Nian's judgment—he appreciated Yilia and wanted to give her more opportunities, which in itself carried no issue. Shang Zhitao wasn't jealous of Yilia; she had always admired impressive people.

However, Lumi said to her: "You know what? Yilia might just be the future boss's wife."

"Why?"

"I only found out today that Yilia is the daughter of the boss at Middle Stream, our largest client. That's why Luke said he invited her over to solve major dilemmas. Born with a silver spoon in her mouth, richer than me."

After a moment, Lumi added: "Being richer than me is one thing, but she's even harder working than me. I'm truly a useless person now."

"She's also just as beautiful as you," Shang Zhitao reminded her of Yilia's beauty.

"Fuck," Lumi cursed: "I see the way Will looks at her isn't right either. I haven't even slept with him yet, and he's fucking looking at someone else. This won't do."

"Don't be afraid, she's the future boss's wife. It won't be Will's turn to sleep with her," Shang Zhitao teased her, then set down her phone.

Far removed from the company's vortex, she was seeking a peaceful place in the Northwest and didn't want to be disturbed by wind or waves.

The next morning, she and her Northwest colleague Shelly drove to the airport to pick up Luan Nian and Yilia.

Luan Nian looked a bit tired. Getting into Shang Zhitao's car, he buckled his seatbelt and rested his head against the headrest. Song Ying got into Shelly's car; Shelly honked at Shang Zhitao as she passed by and drove off.

"Have you not been resting well lately?" Shang Zhitao handed Luan Nian a bottle of water. Luan Nian reached out to take it and rested it on his lap, looking out the window. This didn't look like lovers reuniting.

"Mm."

"The highway trip isn't short. You can sleep for a bit. I'll drive slower."

"Okay."

Luan Nian closed his eyes, and Shang Zhitao started the engine. She indeed drove slowly. Shelly called her: "Flora, we're heading to the restaurant first to order the food."

"Alright, thanks."

Hanging up the phone, she felt Luan Nian's hand rest on her leg, after which his slightly cool fingertips reached beneath her skirt, lightly touching her delicate thigh. Shang Zhitao failed to keep her foot steady on the gas pedal, causing the car to sway slightly on the highway.

"Luan Nian," Shang Zhitao's face flushed as she chided him: "It's dangerous."

"Shang Zhitao."

"Hmm?"

"Want to do it in the car?" Luan Nian asked her like this, as if teasing her.

"...Luan Nian, take your hand away first. It really is dangerous."

"Then why don't you find a place to park?"

Shang Zhitao turned the steering wheel and drove the car into a service area. Luan Nian's hand was still stirring up trouble there. Once she parked the car, she grabbed his hand: "Don't. I feel uneasy." Luan Nian leaned his body over, opening his mouth to bite her earlobe. His warm, moist breath drifted into her ear, and just as Shang Zhitao turned her head trying to dodge him, he captured her lips with a kiss.

An indescribable sense of grievance surged in Shang Zhitao's heart. Cupping his face with both hands, she returned his kiss passionately.

"Luan Nian, I missed you so much," her eyes were glistening with moisture, as if on the verge of tears: "I dreamed about you last night, and I dreamed about you the night before last too."

Luan Nian didn't speak, merely kissing her. His hand reached deep beneath her skirt, hearing Shang Zhitao let out an urgent, breathless gasp.

She had never known she could be so urgent. In the empty service area, with their car parked in a secluded spot, Luan Nian's lips continually kissed her neck and earlobes, his tongue entwining with hers. Shang Zhitao couldn't shift her attention away from his hand; opening her eyes slightly, she met Luan Nian's gaze. His eyes were devoid of any emotion as he said to her:

"But I didn't miss you at all."