The Early Spring - Chapter 55

Chapter 55 - Neither Good Men Nor Virtuous Women 

Shang Zhitao had promised Lumi she would watch the sunrise with her, but Lumi ended up sleeping in at the last minute, leaving her to go alone. She put on a trench coat, stepped out of the hotel, and walked toward the stretch of beach.

With the beach completely deserted, the ocean still shrouded in night's embrace gave off an inexplicable sense of dread.

Everyone at the company loved to sleep in; for them, the ideal vacation meant holing up in the hotel to eat and drink their fill, heading out for a stroll only at dusk, and not returning until late into the night. Shang Zhitao was slightly different—she wanted to see the sunrise.

Strolling alone along the shoreline, she spotted Luan Nian out for a morning jog. Remembering her loss of composure in his room the day before, Shang Zhitao offered him a symbolic greeting before turning to face the ocean. By the time Luan Nian finished his run, the horizon had shifted color slightly, so he simply stopped to watch the sunrise, standing about three meters away from Shang Zhitao.

He never wanted to experience such uncontrollable moments again.

Luan Nian found himself a bit hard to fathom. He had never been a man with an intense sense of possessiveness; whatever his girlfriends liked to do, they did; whatever they liked to wear, they wore. He never restricted them, nor did he demand they bend to his will. Yet he harbored a terrifying possessiveness toward Shang Zhitao.

He didn't like himself like this.

Standing there side by side, their silhouettes carried a trace of aloof detachment. When some male colleagues woke up early and headed to the beach, they spotted their posture and detoured in another direction. They instinctively felt the two were locked in a subtle contest of wills, and stepping into that sphere meant getting caught in the crossfire.

Shang Zhitao felt deeply grateful to Lemei, and she was grateful to Luan Nian as well. Her gratitude toward Lemei stemmed from the fact that the company had given her access to the upper echelons of the industry, rapidly opening up the wider world before her eyes where her efforts and rewards were directly proportional. Her gratitude to Luan Nian came from his relentless strictness; he forced her to grow using his own methods.

Yet her feelings toward Luan Nian were complex. Half of it was love, and the other half was admiration and respect. She could neither possess his equal love nor love him without a shred of inferiority. How magnificent the sunrise was, and he was standing just a short distance away from her, yet she didn't dare take a single step closer. Those three meters remained the eternal distance between them.

"Luke," she suddenly called out to him.

"Hmm?" Luan Nian looked at her. Dawn was just breaking, and the gentle ripples on the sea surface mirrored the soft gaze in Shang Zhitao's eyes.

"I'm so glad I can watch the sunrise with you." Shang Zhitao was brave. Her heart held so much love for Luan Nian; if she kept it all unsaid, those feelings would overflow and wash away—what a terrible waste that would be. "I sometimes wish I could watch the sunrise with you, and watch the sunset with you too."

I bet you can tell, I love you. Shang Zhitao kept those words unsaid. She wasn't foolish; she could clearly see whether a man loved her or not. She could only express herself up to this point; one word more, and today would mark the end of their relationship. Shang Zhitao loved Luan Nian—loved him so deeply she lacked the courage to walk away. Even if she had to stay by his side in such a humble posture, she would gladly swallow the bitter pill.

Shang Zhitao turned and ran back toward the hotel. Back when she was with Xin Zhaozhou, she rarely took the initiative to say "I love you." Most of the time, Xin Zhaozhou would slide his hands under her armpits and demand fiercely, "Do you love me?"

And Shang Zhitao would smile and answer, "I do."

She hurried back to her room, climbed into bed, and her thoughts drifted back to that bouquet of flowers. Shang Zhitao felt she needed to let herself off the hook. Today it was a travelogue, tomorrow a bouquet of flowers, and the day after a phone call; if things went on like this, her torment would be endless. She shouldn't keep trapping herself this way. She needed to reclaim her own life, meet other men, and learn how to walk away from Luan Nian.

A male colleague in the department was planning to go surfing, so Shang Zhitao and Lumi borrowed surfboards from the hotel, each hugging one as they trailed behind him. Shang Zhitao was bold; once they reached the beach, she mimicked what she saw for a few minutes before charging straight into the water. A massive wave flipped her over, but she stood right back up in the water, her hair soaked through, flashing a grin at Lumi under the sunlight. A flash of brilliant white teeth dazzled the beholder into a daze. Lumi shrieked in terror, "My goodness, you really are a newborn calf that's not afraid of a tiger! Have you ever surfed before?"

"Nope!" Shang Zhitao laughed out loud. "It's so much fun!"

She naturally loved to play, and getting flipped over by the wave gave her a taste of the thrill, so she immediately flopped back onto her board to catch more waves. A little while later, a speedboat cut across the water, carrying a figure standing steadily on a wakeboard trailing behind it. With arms outstretched to maintain balance, the rider looked completely focused and happy.

Lumi rushed over to Shang Zhitao's side and dropped an expletive: "This guy is absolute perfection. How is it that he knows how to do everything?"

Shang Zhitao wasn't surprised. She knew Luan Nian loved to play, and she knew he kept his work and personal life strictly separate. Even so, she couldn't help but feel that Luan Nian standing atop that surfboard looked unimaginably cool. She and Lumi sat side by side on a lounge chair. Lumi produced a pair of binoculars from somewhere, pressed them to her eyes to stare at Luan Nian, and after a long moment, remarked to Shang Zhitao, "This man has incredible stamina."

"Ah..."

"Should we break the shackles of morality today, sister, and go sleep with him? I'm so damn curious what he's like."

"Let's not go that far. How handsome is your boyfriend? Dreadlocks, full sleeve tattoos, muscles, and a motorcycle—how cool is that?" Shang Zhitao suddenly felt a prick of guilt. She had almost blurted out, I know, I can tell you. Lumi treated her so well, yet she was keeping this secret from her. Shang Zhitao felt a pang of conscience.

Lumi burst into laughter. "Still, I'd love to sleep with a refined scoundrel of a man like Luke. That would be quite a rush."

It certainly would be quite a rush.

Shang Zhitao felt a bit absent-minded again. The two of them sat side by side on the beach, drooling over the man cutting through the wind and waves in the ocean. Even though Shang Zhitao had slept with him so many times, she still found him endlessly fascinating. Once everyone grew tired of playing, they changed clothes and agreed to meet up for food in Phuket Town. They rented four cars with four people to a vehicle. Because Shang Zhitao and Lumi always stuck together, it was decided they would share their ride with two men. After sorting it out, they were assigned Luan Nian and Jony, the guy in charge of brand PR.

Since the ladies weren't very comfortable driving right-hand-drive cars, they obediently claimed the back seats. Jony was frantically editing a PR draft, leaving the driving duties squarely in Luan Nian's hands. Since they were out on vacation, they simply tossed all hierarchical notions out the window, happily enjoying the luxury of having their boss act as their chauffeur.

Phuket was full of steep slopes, and Luan Nian drove with an exhilarating flair. Shang Zhitao, however, felt like she was about to toss her cookies, her heart dropping and rising with every incline. When they finally managed to crawl into town and secure a parking spot, Jony went off to pick a restaurant while the rest of them wandered around.

Luan Nian was wearing a rare outfit of casual shorts and a t-shirt, topped with a baseball cap. His skin was lightly flushed from the sun, and with both hands shoved into his pockets, he trailed behind Lumi and Shang Zhitao. The things girls liked were rather baffling to begin with; first, they made a fuss about buying fridge magnets and postcards. Luan Nian following behind them looked slightly out of place—what was the point of buying fridge magnets? You could order them from anywhere online.

When it came time to pay, Lumi suddenly looked at Luan Nian and smiled.

Luan Nian scoffed, "You guys are broke?"

They genuinely held out their empty hands; each of them had picked out a dress without even bringing a purse along.

"Guess you'll have to stay here and work it off!" Though he said that, he tossed his wallet straight to them. Shang Zhitao felt a bit embarrassed, but Lumi didn't plan on holding back since she finally had the chance to fleece the boss. She pulled out three large-denomination Thai Baht bills, tossed the wallet to Shang Zhitao, and turned around to check out.

Holding Luan Nian's wallet, Shang Zhitao felt like it was burning a hole in her palm. Luan Nian had bought several bags for her before, but she had never directly spent his money. Her fingers drifted to a small elephant keychain, and seeing Luan Nian didn't react, she reached for an elephant toy instead. Just as she reached for a notebook, she heard Luan Nian say to her, "Living it up on the company's dime?"

It wasn't much money—only a few dozen yuan converted into RMB. Shang Zhitao slowly withdrew her hand and put the notebook back, only for Luan Nian to actually laugh: "Pick something better."

When Lumi came back after paying and heard Luan Nian's remark, her eyes widened. "Pick something better?"

"Otherwise what? Are you going to tell people your boss bought you this cheap junk?"

"Then we won't be polite about it!"

"Were you ever pretending to be polite?"

He who pays the piper calls the tune, so she could take a few jibes. Lumi didn't take it to heart at all; spending Luan Nian's money felt even smoother than spending her own. Snatch-grabbing the wallet, she went on a shopping spree while Shang Zhitao went to browse the postcards.

Luan Nian sat across from her, watching her pick up a pen to write postcards. She had chosen over a dozen of them and looked as though she'd be writing until the year of the monkey. Luan Nian glanced at the recipient's name; the first one was addressed to someone named Sun Yu, and the second seemed to be for Sun Yuanzhu? Ah, they were for her roommates.

He sat there sipping his coffee, waiting to see which one was addressed to him. After writing a dozen cards, she finished up and had no intention of writing one for him. Her emotional intelligence was clearly lacking, prompting him to remind her, "Finished?"

"Yeah."

"Didn't you forget someone?"

Shang Zhitao carefully checked them over, shook her head, and said, "Nope."

"What about mine?"

"You want one too?"

"What else? I spent my money and get nothing in return? What are you thinking?"

"Oh."

Shang Zhitao stood up again to pick out another card and asked Luan Nian, "Is this one okay?"

"Hmm."

Shang Zhitao's neat handwriting finally came in handy. Luan Nian lowered his gaze to watch her write, her strokes extraordinary—her handwriting truly was lovely. Yet she only penned three words: Wishing you happiness. And that was it. A bit perfunctory.

Luan Nian reached out, took it, and tossed it back onto the table. "I've received it. No need to mail it, save yourself the postage." He stood up to take an international call outside. Through the window, he watched Shang Zhitao meticulously affixing a stamp. The collar of her slip dress had shifted askew, revealing a small expanse of smooth, white shoulder—a beauty possessed without even realizing it.

Luan Nian didn't like it, yet he no longer reined her in. He realized a problem: he was exercising too much control over Shang Zhitao, crossing the boundary appropriate for bed partners. If things continued this way, there would be no clean way to end it.

It was already getting out of hand.

Luan Nian didn't say much during dinner. They ended up choosing a Thai restaurant where the locals claimed the seafood was exceptionally well-cooked. While Lumi and Jony were off picking seafood, Luan Nian received a call from Jiang Lan and bantered with her with a smile, making no effort to avoid Shang Zhitao. Jiang Lan asked him if he wanted to experience a traditional Thai massage, and Luan Nian replied that his stamina hadn't been up to par lately. As he said those words, he glanced over at Shang Zhitao.

The latter deliberately averted her gaze, though her earlobes flushed crimson.

It was as if his poor stamina was entirely her fault. They clearly hadn't done anything today, yet she was the first to feel guilty.

Luan Nian felt as restless inside as if he were being clawed by a cat, and he grabbed Shang Zhitao's wrist beneath the table. Shang Zhitao met his grip, her fingernails scraping against his palm before he caught her hand in a tight, vice-like hold. Luan Nian thought: When Friday comes, meeting up is non-negotiable, rain or shine. He couldn't wait a whole week. Waiting another week was a waste of their prime youth; bodies entangled together was the only thing that counted as living—everything else was just wasting time.

His palm grew slightly slick with sweat, and he let go of her hand just before Lumi and the others returned, bidding farewell to Jiang Lan at the same time.

Shang Zhitao couldn't put into words what had happened during this trip, but something between her and Luan Nian had shifted once again.

He was urgent and fiery, pinning her hands down so she couldn't move, forcing her to detonate all her passion tenfold within her body. He refused to listen to her hoarse pleas for mercy, abruptly throwing a question at her instead: "Was Mount Tai fun?"

"Is it better than being with me?"

At his core, Luan Nian was a petty, grudging man. He had worked overtime for three days straight just to make sure he could see her on Friday, only to rush back to the office and find her packing a bag to skip work early. When he asked her where she was going, she told him she was going mountain climbing.

Knowing full well it was Friday, she had stubbornly chosen to go climbing anyway, without offering a single word of explanation.

Just like how she would stay the night at his place, wake up early on Saturday morning, slip away without a word of farewell, and always leave that little note on the pillow.

Shang Zhitao finally couldn't take it anymore and bit him hard. Luan Nian let out a muffled grunt, pinched her cheek to force her to release her bite, and punished her with redoubled intensity. He drove her to utter exhaustion, body and soul. Afterward, she curled up in bed, completely unwilling to move, as he scooped her into his arms and she drifted into a deep sleep.

It wasn't until Shang Zhitao returned to work that she found out what Alex and Luan Nian had been discussing with such solemn expressions on the Phuket beach.

Alex was resigning.

Corporate personnel changes were supposed to be an everyday occurrence, yet Shang Zhitao felt a lingering sense of loss. She liked Alex a lot and couldn't even understand why he wanted to leave. So she quietly asked Lumi, "Alex is doing so well, why is he resigning?"

"People climb to higher places."

"Is there somewhere even better?"

Seeing that Shang Zhitao was genuinely perplexed, Lumi gave her a rare, serious answer. "Flora, you aren't going to stay at Lemei forever either. For Alex, a better place means better compensation and a larger scope. There will definitely be companies willing to pay more to hire him."

"Then why didn't Lemei keep him?"

"They made a symbolic effort in Phuket—Luke negotiated it. But there wasn't a better offer on the table, so Luke's stance was very clear: Lemei is never short of people."

"They have a great relationship."

"This is the corporate world."

Shang Zhitao received a major shock. Alex had been so good to her, constantly backing her up. She even felt a lingering panic—if a new manager took over, what would her own situation become? During the end-of-day department meeting, Alex officially announced the news and told everyone, "Until the new Marketing Director arrives, Luke will oversee the Marketing Department."

Shang Zhitao heard the collective groans of the team.

Getting a new boss meant adapting to a new management style, and since Luan Nian was like a demon, everyone naturally felt a degree of resistance. But they were all professionals; after the groaning subsided, it was back to business as usual.

When Shang Zhitao got home that evening, she received a message from Lumi telling her, "Alex is probably taking two people with him. I heard the salary bump is over 50%, and they're going up a rank."

"Did he approach you?"

"He did."

"Then you're leaving too?" Shang Zhitao suddenly felt a spike of anxiety. Deep down, she didn't want Lumi to leave; Lumi was her very first friend made in the workplace, and she treated Shang Zhitao with the kind of wholehearted sincerity that laid her soul bare.

"I'm not going. I don't need the money that badly, and switching places means adapting to a new environment all over again. Lemei is so great—once you're familiar with it, you can strut around like you own the place, and everyone gives way to you."

Shang Zhitao let out a long breath of relief, only to hear Lumi say, "Alex approached me, and he approached Sunny. He wants to take one more person with him, and that person is you."

"What?"

"Yep, you heard it right. Alex wants to take you with you. If you go with him, you've hitched your wagon to a big shot. As long as he doesn't fall, you'll be sitting pretty; if he falls, you just start over. If you don't go with him, you'll face the pressure of a new boss. The new boss will definitely want to bring in their own people, and since the department is currently at full headcount, they'll naturally start with the existing staff. Whether you get axed or not is anyone's guess."

Why would Alex want to take her with him? She was so mediocre. Shang Zhitao was still too young to understand the playbook of how bosses managed people. Not every boss was like Luan Nian; most bosses were like Alex, valuing diligence, obedience, capability, and high loyalty. Luan Nian looked primarily at raw ability, and nothing else.

Shang Zhitao happened to be precisely the type of person most bosses favored.

When Alex called her, she felt a flutter of panic mixed with a deep sense of touching warmth. She heard Alex say to her, "Flora, the Marketing Department was your first stop at Lemei, and I was your first boss. After working together for over a year, I believe you understand my character. I'm going to build a new marketing team in an emerging sector, and you can consider whether you'd like to come with me."

The first question that popped into Shang Zhitao's mind was: Am I capable enough? She had only graduated a little over a year ago and hadn't even independently managed any major projects. She was just a rookie in the workplace; what could she possibly do to help him if she went? She was wholeheartedly thinking of Alex's interests, having zero concept of the so-called salary raise. She only wanted to know if she was up to the task, so she asked straight out, "Can I ask why it's me? I feel like I'm so terribly mediocre."

Alex chuckled on the other end of the line. "Flora, don't sell yourself short. Think about your achievements over the past year—setting up the vendor onboarding and bidding system, independently completing the first stop of the roadshow project, and managing the budget without a single error. Why do you think you aren't up to it? Don't doubt my eye for talent; you just need to decide whether you're coming with me."

Shang Zhitao rarely received such direct praise. Alex's words deeply moved her, bringing a hint of moisture to her eyes. She remained excited long after hanging up the phone, and only when she calmed down did she realize she had no idea how to make a decision. She wanted to consult Luan Nian, but felt doing so would be tantamount to betraying Alex, so she forced herself to swallow the impulse.

She managed to hold back, but Luan Nian sent her a message: "If Alex wants to take you with him when he jumps ship, there are only two reasons: you're cheap and obedient. Figure out the rest yourself."