The Early Spring - Chapter 43

Chapter 43 - Speak the Truth When It Snows

Shang Zhitao collected herself and, for the very first time, knocked on Sun Yuanzhu's door. She wanted to thank him in person.

He was watching an American TV show, and Shang Zhitao saw that his room was piled high with books. He didn't seem to care about the holiday at all, remaining as calm and at ease as always.

"Wow." Shang Zhitao poked her head in from the doorway. "You have so many books!"

"I don't really have any other hobbies." Sun Yuanzhu looked a bit embarrassed. "Why didn't you go out to have fun? Where's Sun Yu?"

"Sun Yu and her coworkers went to a company mixer today, said it won't break up until midnight. Has Zhang Lei still not returned from his business trip?"

"Not yet."

Suddenly unsure of what else to say, the room fell quiet. Sun Yuanzhu noticed Shang Zhitao's gaze drifting repeatedly to the stacks of books in his bedroom, so he asked, "Want to come in and see if there's anything you'd like to read?"

"Is it convenient?"

"Very convenient."

Shang Zhitao had never closely examined Luan Nian's bedroom; she always felt that Luan Nian's bedroom was far beyond her reach. Yet, she thoroughly toured the books inside Sun Yuanzhu's room. For the first time, Shang Zhitao understood what a true book lover looked like—aside from books, Sun Yuanzhu owned nothing else. He was like an ancient scholar; no matter how the world changed around him, a single quiet desk was all he ever needed.

Sun Yuanzhu made Shang Zhitao feel deeply at ease, and that sense of security accompanied her for many, many years to come.

Shang Zhitao looked closely. The books he read covered a vast array of topics: politics, economics, history, geography, art, physics, astronomy, and literature—everything under the sun. Shang Zhitao flipped through a few volumes and noticed that tucked inside the first page of every single book was his personal reading note, written on a single sheet of paper. His handwriting was exceptionally beautiful, even more so than her own, she thought. And those books, aside from their covers, were completely free of creases or stains, pristine and clean. Much like the man himself, they felt far too precious.

"Want to pick a couple to read? Books are meant to be read only when borrowed," Sun Yuanzhu offered when he saw how much she liked them.

Shang Zhitao hurriedly waved her hands. "No, no, no." She didn't dare borrow Sun Yuanzhu's books. Her reading habits weren't like his; she tended to scribble casually in margins and fold down the corners of pages when she reached them. She was terrified of ruining Sun Yuanzhu's pristine books.

Sun Yuanzhu was amused by her cautiousness. He glanced down at his wrist to check the time. "Oh, it's eleven o'clock. Shall the two of us hold a book club? Let's share some good books we've read recently."

"The book I've been reading recently is Business English," Shang Zhitao self-deprecatingly remarked. "My colleagues have incredible English skills, and sometimes during international meetings, I can't understand a single word they say."

"Then you can share Business English," Sun Yuanzhu suggested.

"Can I share books I read back in college?"

"That works too."

The two of them hit it off instantly. They even went so far as to wash some fruit, sitting face-to-face in the living room with a book in each of their hands. Shang Zhitao held To Live, while Sun Yuanzhu held National Geographic.

If not for Sun Yuanzhu, Shang Zhitao would have found this Christmas utterly unbearable. As she sat hugging her laptop, looking over that travel blog time and time again—especially when she saw Luan Nian's smile—she felt how utterly ridiculous she was being.

"I love this book. I've read it four times, and every single time I end up crying uncontrollably."

"I've read it. Me too," Sun Yuanzhu said.

"Really?"

"Really."

Shang Zhitao suddenly noticed that Sun Yuanzhu's posture was very similar to her own; whenever they sat, their backs were always that straight, carrying a hint of humility. Shang Zhitao had always assumed her own humility stemmed from her perpetual mediocrity, yet here was Sun Yuanzhu—someone so exceptionally brilliant—sitting the exact same way.

Shang Zhitao smiled softly. The front door lock clicked, and they both turned their heads toward the entrance to see Sun Yu wrapped in the starlight and moonlight. Her expression wasn't great, but she still managed a weak smile at them. Catching sight of the books on the table, she muttered blankly, "Are you guys reading?"

"We're holding a book club," Shang Zhitao said, standing up to take Sun Yu's overcoat and hang it up, then cautiously glancing at her. "What's wrong?"

"I saw my ex-boyfriend. At the place where we were holding our event. He and his girlfriend, celebrating Christmas Eve together," Sun Yu said softly. "Shouldn't I not be saying this? You guys were having such a nice book club."

"I'd actually love to hear about it, if you feel like talking," Sun Yuanzhu spoke up. "Though I think talking about this is too dry—we should probably eat while we chat." He smiled, revealing a row of even white teeth, single-handedly rescuing the two women from their gloom.

Many years later, Sun Yu would pinch Shang Zhitao's collar while dead drunk, crying a river of tears and gritting her teeth as she asked, "Why aren't there a few more Sun Yuanzhus in this world?"

He didn't just make the suggestion; he stood up and headed straight to the kitchen, digging out their only remaining instant noodles, tomatoes, and greens to cook up a batch of student-dormitory-style noodles for them. With a bowl of noodles in front of each of the three of them, the very first bite sent a tear streaming down Sun Yu's face right into her bowl: "When we were together, we never even went out to celebrate a single holiday."

In the beginning, they had both been completely penniless, their pockets cleaner than their faces. Whenever a holiday rolled around, they would hole up at home, loudly claiming they hated waiting in lines, when in reality they just couldn't keep up with the soaring holiday prices. Or perhaps each of them stayed in separate corners of the city, making a quick phone call that counted as celebrating. She hadn't even received a single flower.

That kind of grievance was something Shang Zhitao felt she had tasted before, yet perhaps hadn't. She didn't know how to comfort Sun Yu. She wanted to curse Sun Yu's ex-boyfriend as a scumbag, but remembering that Sun Yuanzhu was right there, she forced the words back down.

"Men—there's a small fraction of men out there who are genuinely awful," Sun Yuanzhu took the initiative to criticize. "You just happened to run into one of them. I don't really know how to comfort you, but how about I treat you both to a midnight movie?"

Sun Yu laughed through her tears. "A midnight screening? I've never been to one."

"Me neither!"

"What a shame. Back when I was in school, I used to go to midnight screenings with my classmates all the time. Shall we go?"

And off they went on the spur of the moment.

In the dead of night on Christmas Eve, three young people stepped out of their building and walked down the bustling streets. The city was lively enough as it was, and during a holiday like this, the crowds seemed endless. Weaving through the throng of people, they truly felt just how insignificant a human being could be.

Everything was bustling with life, even the midnight screenings on Christmas Eve.

The three of them stood in line for a long time before finally managing to get movie tickets. The theater was packed to capacity on Christmas Eve, and the three of them sitting together among couples felt particularly conspicuous. Sun Yuanzhu bought them both colas and popcorn, telling them, "Be as happy as children."

Watching a romance film on Christmas night, the beauty portrayed on screen was deeply enviable. Shang Zhitao checked her phone several times; she wanted to wish Luan Nian a happy holiday, but then felt that since he was immersed in his own happiness, her holiday greeting would surely look ridiculous. Noticing her constantly looking down, Sun Yu leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Don't say a single word. Trust me."

Sun Yu seemed to have seen right through love—the more proactive you were, the more miserably you lost, and no one could ever escape that curse. She didn't want Shang Zhitao to end up like her, losing so thoroughly. What Shang Zhitao had couldn't even be called love; it was merely a man unable to control his lower half, swept away by a momentary impulse.

"Mm, I know." Anyone feeling down would cry their eyes out watching a romance movie, and Shang Zhitao was no exception. She had no idea what was wrong with herself either. Someone as dense as her had never actively liked anyone before; back then, Xin Zhaozhou had fallen for her first, and only then had her feelings slowly been stirred. She hadn't known that liking someone could be so heartbreaking and cowardly.

From that day on, she fell in love with midnight screenings.

There were many times later on when she would go to midnight movies all by herself. When it wasn't a holiday, the midnight theater would be mostly empty. She would pick a quiet film to watch, leaving all the sorrow, doubt, and reluctance of a particular period of time right there in the cinema.

"Is Hokkaido cold?" As they walked out of the theater, Shang Zhitao suddenly asked.

"It's alright," Sun Yuanzhu replied. "Temperate monsoon climate. For someone from the Ice City, Hokkaido is practically mild compared to the freezing weather back home right now."

Shang Zhitao burst out laughing. "Am I even a real Ice City person? I'm terribly afraid of the cold. Look at me—I have to wear tons and tons of layers in the winter."

"That's good. It means you know how to stay warm and take care of yourself." Sun Yu linked her arm through Shang Zhitao's. "I'm okay now. I'm just glad I have you guys tonight."

"That's good to hear."

Sun Yuanzhu smiled faintly. A layer of frost had formed over his glasses, so he took them off to wipe them clean. There were faint marks left by the frames around his eyes, but it didn't detract from his crisp, gentle demeanor. Shang Zhitao wanted to speak to Sun Yu, but noticed that Sun Yu's gaze was resting entirely on Sun Yuanzhu—not with her usual mischievous spark, but quiet and still. Shang Zhitao felt as though she suddenly understood something, yet at the same time understood nothing at all.

She quietly shifted her position, moving to Sun Yu's other side so she wouldn't be the one standing right between them.

At three in the morning in Beijing, it actually started to snow.

"A lot of students at my school would sing Love Dust in weather like this," Sun Yuanzhu asked them. "Have you heard of it?" He hummed a couple of bars under his breath.

That dusk, fine snowflakes had begun to drift down.

Walking back from the movie theater to their residence was a six-kilometer trek. All three of them refused to take a taxi, choosing instead to stroll slowly through the snow. Walking like that in silence, they went all the way back to their building. Sun Yuanzhu suddenly asked them, "Do you want me to take some pictures of you two?"

"Yes, please!" Sun Yu loved taking photos, so she readily embraced the suggestion.

"Then wait here while I run up and grab my camera." Sun Yuanzhu was a photography enthusiast; he sometimes bought very expensive equipment and brought it along on business trips to capture different cities and people.

He raised his camera and said to the girls standing in the snow, "Right there, just like that—turn your face slightly to the side." His voice was very soft, afraid of waking sleeping neighbors, but fortunately the three of them had enough tacit understanding that even so, they caught his meaning instantly.

That day, they wandered through a world draped in white, and the camera captured that fleeting slice of light and shadow. The girls looked pretty, but neither of them was smiling with true joy. If you zoomed in, you could still see lingering worries in their eyes.

"Should we take a group photo?" Sun Yuanzhu asked.

"Alright."

He set up his tripod in the courtyard pavilion of the residential complex. Amidst the thin mist and morning light of the snow, they stood together. Sun Yuanzhu stood in the center with a bright, sunny smile; Sun Yu looked at him, while Shang Zhitao looked at the camera.

After taking the photos, a sudden sense of melancholy settled over them.

"How about we all go watch the sunrise at Mount Tai together when summer comes?" Sun Yuanzhu proposed.

"Sounds good! We'll find a weekend when Zhang Lei isn't busy."

Meanwhile, over in Hokkaido, Zang Yao was standing right across from Luan Nian. A few friends were sitting together, pulling an all-nighter. Tan Mian suddenly asked Zang Yao, "Regarding Luan Nian, do you have any secrets you're keeping from us?"

"Is this Truth or Dare?" Zang Yao resisted.

"No, just pure curiosity."

Zang Yao nodded. She said, "I only know that we are very, very good friends, but actually, right at the very beginning, I remember that neither of us wanted to be just friends with the other."

She looked at Luan Nian, probing slightly.

Luan Nian had been drinking a bit and felt somewhat dazed. He didn't remember very clearly what they had been like at the very beginning, but he shook his head firmly. "I remember that right from the start, I only ever wanted to be friends with you."

No one expressed surprise at Luan Nian's words; everyone knew what kind of person he was, and he never beat around the bush when he spoke. Even if his words today might cost him Zang Yao's friendship, he wouldn't have phrased it any other way.

"He's had too much to drink, too much to drink," Tan Mian chimed in to smooth things over, and several of them laughed together, attempting to laugh away the awkwardness.

"I haven't had too much to drink. I know what I'm saying," Luan Nian interrupted the laughter. "Zang Yao, come outside and talk with me."