The Early Spring - Chapter 33

Chapter 33 - The Charm of a Stubborn Mule

Because of Luan Nian's actions during the budget meeting, the various departments suddenly grew tense. Each department claimed a meeting room and began putting together budget project proposals. The Marketing Department couldn't leave either, remaining on standby because at any moment, some department holding a meeting would track them down and ask, "Could you take a look at this and see if it makes sense?" Even Shang Zhitao felt that her standing alongside the Marketing Department had risen just a notch. This feeling wasn't bad at all.

She spent over thirty hours in pitch darkness working overtime alongside them, sleeping for only a few hours right at her desk. Over those thirty-three hours, she thoroughly figured out the budgeting logic of marketing. It wasn't a simple matter of you saying how much money you want, me giving it to you, and you telling me what returns you got. Instead, every single step had its own methods, and every step could be tracked and traced. That made it quite fascinating.

Gaining knowledge brought genuine joy. When the meeting resumed on Wednesday, Shang Zhitao laid eyes on a top-tier proposal on par with the market's best. The people at Lemei were elite professionals, standing out as dragons and phoenixes among men in any setting. This new version of the proposal was so good that it made Shang Zhitao feel like they had simply been slacking off with the previous one.

With clear objectives, solid action plans, and precisely estimated expenses down to the last penny, Lumi said to Shang Zhitao, "See that? That's the damned charm of a stubborn mule. I finally understand why the board of directors insisted on putting him in charge. If not him, then who?" Lumi currently adored Luan Nian; she even forgave his usual arrogance, feeling that it would be abnormal if he weren't arrogant.

Hearing Lumi call Luan Nian a stubborn mule, Shang Zhitao couldn't help letting out a couple of muffled laughs.

"What are you laughing at? Am I wrong?"

"Yes, yes, yes. He's quite mule-like." Shang Zhitao hurriedly agreed with her.

This time around, Luan Nian didn't show the same sharp edges regarding the budget proposals, but he still pointed out directions for improvement and scheduled another review for Friday. At the very end, he suddenly asked, "Am I being too strict?"

Everyone froze for a second and remained silent.

He chuckled to himself. "See you Friday." With that, he ended the meeting.

When Shang Zhitao returned home, she saw Sun Yuanzhu and Zhang Lei discussing a technical problem—they were discussing autonomous driving technology. Back in 2010, autonomous driving was merely a concept. Yet Sun Yuanzhu's company had invested a budget into it, and as a high-end technical talent, he had been transferred into the project team.

"It's mainly hard to test in Beijing; our models don't have anywhere to run. We can only go out to remote places where there are no people."

"If the technology isn't mature, there will be hidden risks. Going out to remote areas is actually a good idea."

Seeing Shang Zhitao's dark circles, Zhang Lei stopped himself. "Did you pull an all-nighter?"

Shang Zhitao nodded. "The company was working on budgets. Where are you going?" she asked, directing the question at Sun Yuanzhu.

"Northwest."

"Will you be gone for a long time?" Shang Zhitao felt a pang of reluctance to see Sun Yuanzhu go; she had grown accustomed to him teaching her and Sun Yu all sorts of knowledge on weekends or evenings. His mind contained an entire universe, and sometimes Shang Zhitao would look at him and think he must have read every book in the world.

Sun Yuanzhu and Luan Nian were two completely different people. Luan Nian had sharp edges, hardness, iciness, and a dazzling brilliance; Sun Yuanzhu was gentle, reserved, and possessed the quiet elegance of one deeply read. Shang Zhitao would feel afraid of Luan Nian, but she would never fear Sun Yuanzhu.

"Yes," Sun Yuanzhu smiled at her. "I'll mail you some good food."

"Are you only mailing it to Shang Zhitao?" Zhang Lei chimed in from the side.

"I'll send some to both of you." Sun Yuanzhu's face blushed slightly as he told Shang Zhitao, "Go get some sleep quickly. You look exhausted."

"Okay." Shang Zhitao walked toward her room, then turned back to say to Sun Yuanzhu, "You have to stay safe!"

"Rest assured."

Drifting along in Beijing was just like this—even living under the same roof made it hard to catch a glimpse of each other. Everyone was busy with overtime, business trips, and social gatherings, packing every single day to the brim. Shang Zhitao truly felt bone-tired. She took a shower, collapsed onto her bed, and slept to make up for lost time.

By Friday, she hugged her laptop and followed her colleagues into the meeting room. The moment she pushed open the door, she saw Luan Nian sitting there flipping through a magazine—the magazine featured a print advertisement their company had designed for a major daily-use chemical brand.

Seeing them walk in, he stopped what he was doing, set the magazine aside, and told his secretary, "Distribute these to everyone." He had brought back pastries from Lianxianglou in Hong Kong, exquisitely delicate, with a small portion for each person. Shang Zhitao sat in the second row, took the pastry, and placed it on the small fold-out desk attached to her chair. Raising her eyes, she caught Luan Nian's gaze. He glanced at her indifferently, no differently than he looked at anyone else. Shang Zhitao recalled the four-word mantra she had summarized for herself a few days prior: act as if nothing happened. It was as if she were telling Luan Nian: Don't worry, Luke, I won't say a word about anything. So she sat up straight, looking fearless and unbothered. I didn't do anything wrong to begin with, she encouraged herself.

The optimistic mindset Shang Zhitao had cultivated since childhood made her someone who didn't easily take things to heart. People like her rarely felt sharp, piercing pain, yet she didn't realize that dull, lingering aches could hurt just as much.

The meeting went by quickly. Once the project proposal was approved, it was archived under the Marketing Department, which would handle the project's official system entry. Because it was Friday and many colleagues had prior engagements, they handed this task over to Shang Zhitao. The entry system was complex, with a mountain of information required for each project. Shang Zhitao dove straight into it without even taking a sip of water, terrified of inputting key information incorrectly. After wrestling with it for a few hours, she finally finished. She closed her laptop, stood up, and noticed that the light in Luan Nian's office was still on—he was still working.

He really works so hard. I should learn from him and be someone who works hard even when she has talent.

She shouldered her backpack and walked out of the company.

The leaves had all fallen, and the chill in the air had deepened by another layer. There were still drunkards lingering on the streets, along with a few others like her who couldn't flag down a cab. She didn't understand why people always loved drinking until the middle of the night and then wandering the streets; there really were far too many late-night drunkards in this city. She thought to herself: If only I could own a home in this city before turning thirty. Then, no matter how late it is, even if I'm standing on the roadside like right now, I wouldn't be scared. Because I have my own place!

Putting on her headphones and listening to music while figuring out which way to walk, a car pulled up right in front of her.

It wasn't the car she had dented—that one was probably still in the shop for extensive repairs.

Shang Zhitao didn't know how to face him, and once again recalled her four-word mantra: act as if nothing happened. So she got into the car and said to him, "Thank you, Luke, I'm troubling you again."

Luan Nian glanced at her, leaned his upper body into the back seat to haul over a shopping bag, and placed it on Shang Zhitao's lap. "For you," he said casually, as if it were nothing. Shang Zhitao recognized the brand logo—it was an expensive gift. Shang Zhitao felt as though her hand had been scorched, instantly losing her calm, unbothered composure. She handed the gift box back to Luan Nian. "No, please, I don't need this."

"If you don't want this, are you trying to talk to me about feelings?" Luan Nian started the engine; driving didn't affect his speech in the least.

...

Shang Zhitao felt as though she were selling her body. Only her price tag was a bit higher. That higher price tag wasn't because her performance was exceptional, but simply because she had run into a wealthy sugar daddy.

She pressed her lips tightly together in silence, leaving the gift box resting right in her hands. Looking out the window, she wondered how other people would handle a gift like this. She had no answer, so she asked Sun Yu: "My boss gave me a designer bag. How should I handle it?"

"Accept it." Sun Yu gave her just those two words.

In this city, almost every commodity was assigned a price tag, and people were no exception. Having been through a heart-wrenching breakup, Sun Yu had suddenly understood the meaning of money. To hell with romance; without money you starve to death, and once you're dead of starvation, what romance are you chasing? It was this exact Sun Yu who later went into the business of love, and it was also this Sun Yu who later threw herself headlong into romance against all odds. Every woman had spoken against her true feelings at some point, navigating their own personal growth in their own ways. Years later, when they looked back on this period of time, they would realize that many things had no right or wrong back then—they were simply choices.

Not everyone is born strong.

You must realize that anyone you see looking strong today has, at some point in time, been stripped to the bone and forced to undergo self-reinvention.

Sun Yu was like that, and so was Shang Zhitao.

Luan Nian was like that, too.

"Is it because you're worried I'll spill our secret if I don't accept this gift?" Shang Zhitao finally spoke up.

Luan Nian furrowed his brows, pulled the car over to the side of the road, and in a rare move, lit a cigarette. He smoked one, then another. Shang Zhitao had no idea what was going on in his head, and the silence was agonizing. Yet she still sat there without speaking, looking out the window while accompanying Luan Nian as he smoked.

Luan Nian didn't actually have a smoking habit, but that day he smoked cigarette after cigarette, seemingly mesmerized by the ethereal rings of smoke drifting before his eyes.

"Do you think you're selling your body?" After a long while, Luan Nian asked her.

Shang Zhitao let out a soft hum. Her mood was extremely low, though she couldn't quite explain why.

"Then I suppose I should be paying you cash instead." Luan Nian stubbed out his cigarette. "Just keep it." Refusing to say another word, he drove Shang Zhitao to the entrance of her residential compound. Shang Zhitao got out of the car holding the expensive gift, without even receiving a parting word from Luan Nian. She walked away without looking back.

She felt as though something had collapsed inside her body that night.

All because she had accepted Luan Nian's gift.

The gift was far too hot to handle; keeping it felt wrong, and returning it felt wrong. She wasn't the type of person like Lumi, who could throw out a casual "go to hell" when encountering people or things she disliked; nor was she like Sun Yu, who accepted things with complete, righteous justification. She was stuck right in the middle, neither up nor down.

Lugged the bag into the apartment, where Sun Yu happened to be washing her face. Seeing that Shang Zhitao's expression was off, she wiped her face and walked right over.

Shang Zhitao shrugged at Sun Yu, pouted, and walked into her bedroom. Sun Yu followed right behind her. "Why do you look so unhappy?"

"I can't put it into words."

"Well, what did he say?"

"He didn't say anything."

"I know what he was thinking." Sun Yu sat down on the edge of her bed, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Shang Zhitao, you know I work in sales, right? Back then, we had to build client relationship rapport every single day. If we gave gifts to clients and they refused to take them, we'd conclude that we probably couldn't handle this client, and we'd be extra cautious interacting with them afterward. But if the client accepted, we'd breathe a sigh of relief. That client was officially our person."

"Yeah. I accepted it, so I'll keep his secret."

"Then what are you agonizing over?"

"I don't know."

"I know." Sun Yu pulled Shang Zhitao down to sit beside her. "Even though you're unsure right now and probably refuse to admit it, the truth is... you like him."

Shang Zhitao bit her lip, and a single tear suddenly escaped, falling without warning.

"See? You're even crying." Sun Yu helped her wipe away the tear. "I've known you for a few months now, and you're not the kind of girl who has one-night stands with people. Even though you joked with me that you just liked his body, Shang Zhitao, you aren't someone who sleeps with a man unless you have feelings for him."

"I don't like him at all. I just feel awkward." Shang Zhitao wiped away her tears. "I wish I were super rich, so right after sleeping with him, I could leave a wad of cash on his bedside table instead of letting him have the chance to buy me a designer bag first." That was what pissed Shang Zhitao off the most.

"Alright, alright!" Sun Yu applauded. "You've certainly got backbone! So, don't you want to unwrap it and take a look?"

Shang Zhitao shook her head. "Let's not unwrap it. I don't care for it."

"Then just leave it there!"

"Yeah!"

Shang Zhitao now owned her very first luxury item, but she didn't open it to take a look, nor was she even curious about which specific model Luan Nian had bought her. In any case, that didn't matter in her heart. What mattered was that she now knew: she could never do a thing like that ever again. She would never let anything happen between her and Luan Nian again.

She couldn't fall asleep that night, so she watched a movie on her computer while browsing online forums. She came across a group trip post: Heading to Labagoumen to see the red leaves. That sounded wonderful, so she forwarded the link to Sun Yu: "Do you want to go see the red leaves? Autumn is almost over!"

"Sure."

They quickly signed up online. Rising early the next morning, they rushed to the tour bus station and found a group of men and women dressed in windbreakers and hiking boots, many of them carrying cameras. Shang Zhitao didn't have a professional camera; she only had a point-and-shoot, which Xin Zhaozhou had given her. Shang Zhitao suddenly felt that her weekends shouldn't consist solely of work and studying—they should also hold plenty of other fun things.

Just as Sun Yu had said: "We need to live our lives, not just survive."

Back then, Shang Zhitao was young, and in her mind, merely surviving equated to living. Later on, she gradually came to understand the difference between the two. Surviving was making a living; living was pursuing your ideals. The reason she eventually transformed into someone who truly understood how to live was because living brings joy, whereas mere survival brings endless suffering.

Stealing a little slice of time to actually live amidst the struggle of survival was the ultimate reward you could give yourself.

As she walked along that mountain trail, looking down as the red leaves carpeted the forest, she realized this was the final splash of autumn color in this mortal world.