Wish You All the Best - Chapter 51

Chapter 51

It was not long after dark, when the lamps were lit, that Pei You’an returned.

The weather was sweltering. Jiafu had bathed upon returning from the Taoist temple that evening and was waiting for him. Seeing him return, she went up to ask about dinner. He said he had already had some refreshments with colleagues in the palace duty room during the Youshi (5 p.m. to 7 p.m.) and was not very hungry. Jiafu had also eaten a bowl of lotus leaf and lotus seed soup earlier, so she was not hungry either. Knowing he must have sweated, she first served him as he bathed and changed his clothes. Afterward, the young couple ate dinner together and paid a visit to the Old Madam and Madam Xin. Upon returning, just like the night before, Jiafu followed him to the study.

The plantain lilies in the courtyard were in full bloom, their fragrance becoming richer as night fell. The scent of the flowers drifted with the night breeze, wafting in waves through the green gauze windows of the study.

Pei You’an sat behind the desk, attending to his own affairs. Jiafu stood in front of the bookshelf behind him, lightly flipping through the books on the shelf. The two were no longer face-to-face, and the smile that had been on her face gradually faded. She became lost in thought, only returning to her senses when she heard Pei You’an ask her to retrieve a book for him. She said "oh," hurriedly put down the book in her hand, and looked up to find it.

"The third shelf from the top on the left, the second book from the right."

Pei You’an did not look back; he simply added that instruction.

Jiafu followed his directions, found the book quickly, and turned to deliver it to his side.

Pei You’an took it, flipped through it, set it down, and looked up at her carefully. "What is the matter with you? If you are tired from going out during the day, you don't need to force yourself to stay here with me. You go to bed first; I will return shortly."

Jiafu was indeed harboring a secret worry, and it was not a trivial one.

That day in the imperial palace, from the moment she first saw Chi Hanzhen and Pei You’an talking by the palace path, she had felt a vague sense of threat. Of course, the matter ended with her making a fool of herself once again, while Pei You’an, magnanimous as ever, chose to forgive her—just as had happened many times before between them. This time, there was even a silver lining; it broke the awkwardness that had lingered since their wedding night, which could be considered a good result.

While feeling grateful and fortunate, Jiafu reflected on the situation and felt ashamed of her own impulsiveness and narrow-mindedness. For the past two days, thanks to Pei You’an’s tenderness and the intimacy he did not intentionally hide in private, she had finally begun to cast aside the shadows of the first few days.

But today's trip to the Taoist temple caused that shadow, which had just dissipated, to slowly envelop her once again.

Her intuition told her that it was highly likely that Chi Hanzhen truly held feelings for Pei You’an.

Actually, this was normal. Pei You’an had a mentor-student relationship with her grandfather; she had visited the Pei household when she was small and had known Pei You’an since childhood. Both had been renowned for their talents at the time; it was not strange for her to admire him. Jiafu also believed that Pei You’an was not a man who behaved recklessly.

However, the scene she witnessed during the day still made it difficult for her to let go.

This female Taoist possessed a proud spirit and a famous talent; she used the style of the Lunheng (Discourses Weighed) to express her sentiments, and her calligraphy faintly carried Pei You’an’s elegance. If Pei You’an was like the clear moon in the wind, she was the spirit of the deep forest. Although her family had been destroyed and she was living in a Taoist temple, with a pitiful situation, Jiafu knew clearly in her heart that in front of Pei You’an, she always found herself looking up to him helplessly, feeling flattered by his kindness toward her.

But Chi Hanzhen was the type of person who could stand on the same high ground as him. In those years, she had even preferred death to protect her purity.

Of course, Jiafu was also someone who had jumped off a building, but compared to Chi Hanzhen’s heroic act, that unspeakable experience left her with nothing but shame.

In Pei You’an’s eyes, Chi Hanzhen must be brilliant and pure, worthy of respect.

Beyond this lingering shadow in her heart, the accidental encounter with Xiao Yintang while returning to the city made her feel even more uneasy.

All along, she had felt that Xiao Yintang would not let her go easily. It was precisely for this reason that she had clung so desperately to Pei You’an, a life-saving straw that could resolve her predicament. She had stumbled all the way until she finally married him and gained stability.

As long as Pei You’an was there, Jiafu believed that even with Xiao Yintang’s position as Crown Prince, he should not be able to do anything to her.

Back when she was planning to capture Pei You’an and marry him, she had thought that if Pei You’an were truly destined to die of illness before the age of thirty as she knew from her previous life, she would be willing to depart with him rather than face Xiao Yintang’s retaliation once he ascended the throne. She felt no fear.

On her wedding night, she had thought that this man was worth such devotion; if he left, her living alone would be meaningless. To be his wife for a few years and spend a few peaceful years in this life was already enough to satisfy her.

From their meeting at Wuding to the bumps in the road, she and Pei You’an had gradually grown familiar with each other. She had finally discovered that his body was not as frail as she had once imagined.

He was slightly thin, and his physique was indeed not as robust as a warrior's, but when he shed his clothes, his body was lean and powerful, no different from any other healthy young man.

She found it hard to believe how such a Pei You’an would, in a few years’ time, suffer a relapse of his old illness, cough up blood, and die suddenly in a lonely city on the frontier.

After returning home that evening, while meditating with her eyes closed in the bathtub, Jiafu suddenly remembered something.

In her previous life, during the days before Xiao Yintang died, she heard him speak in his nightmares while she was kneeling before the dragon bed. He had mumbled something related to Pei You’an.

He said: "You’an, You’an, is this the retribution you are inflicting upon me? I beg you, let me go! Do not blame me! If you must blame someone, blame the Emperor! All of this is his sin—"

Thinking of those words from his dream, and then thinking of the way Pei You’an died in her previous life, Jiafu had felt a chill run down her spine.

The true relationship between Xiao Yintang and Pei You’an was indeed not as harmonious as it appeared; the two had never had any private contact. Especially in this life, because of her, Xiao Yintang must surely despise Pei You’an even more. Jiafu knew this.

But if her suspicions were true, what puzzled her was that in her previous life, these two men had no intersection with her. Even if Xiao Yintang usually envied Pei You’an for stealing the spotlight, at that time, Xiao Lie was still on the throne, and Pei You’an had voluntarily left the prosperity of the capital to travel to the city of Suye on the frontier. He had been gone for years with no sign of returning. For Xiao Yintang, holding the position of Crown Prince, there was really no reason to risk being discovered by Xiao Lie to take his life.

Jiafu could not fathom it and felt she must be overthinking.

At this moment, hearing Pei You’an ask, the two strange, penetrating gazes Xiao Yintang had cast upon her during their encounter on the road during the day surfaced in her mind.

"Big Cousin..."

Meeting his searching gaze, Jiafu called out, then paused.

Pei You’an pondered slightly, then placed the brush he was holding onto the brush rest, took her hand, and gave it a gentle tug. Jiafu sat sideways onto his lap. One of his arms reached from behind to wrap around her waist; his movements were gentle and completely natural.

Jiafu leaned against the arm wrapped around her back, her head tilting slightly backward, looking up at him.

Pei You’an lowered his head slightly and said, "I just ran into Second Uncle and heard from him that you met the Crown Prince on the way back? Are you still afraid?"

Jiafu had indeed been very afraid of Xiao Yintang in the past, but since having Pei You’an, she was no longer afraid. However, this current feeling was more unsettling than the simple fear of before.

"Big Cousin, you must be careful of the Crown Prince... he must hate you very much..."

She finally could not help but say it out loud.

Pei You’an seemed somewhat surprised that she would say such things. He looked at her searchingly and did not answer at first.

Under his gaze, Jiafu gradually became uneasy and bit her lip. "Perhaps I am just letting my imagination run wild... please don't be angry if I said something wrong... I did not intend to sow discord between you and the Crown Prince..."

Pei You’an smiled, tightened his arm around her, and said in a low voice, "Why would I be angry with you? I was just a bit surprised that you would say something like that..."

He paused.

"Since the past, the Crown Prince has indeed harbored a desire to compare himself with me. I had no intention of becoming his enemy, but in the imperial court, many things are often beyond one's control. Even if it weren't for you, he would still have a grudge against me. But rest assured, as long as the Emperor is still alive, he will not dare to make a move openly. As for the future, even though world affairs are unpredictable and fortune is uncertain, since I have married you, I will do my utmost to keep you safe."

His voice was steady and carried a comforting strength. The gloom in Jiafu’s heart gradually diminished. She whispered "Big Cousin" and raised her arms to wrap them around his waist, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

Pei You’an patted her back lightly, as if comforting a frightened little girl. After holding her in silence for a moment, he used his other hand to lift her pointed chin, raising her face toward his. His gaze fell upon her lips, and he watched for a moment, appearing slightly distracted as if remembering something, before slowly lowering his head and pressing his face toward hers.

Jiafu knew he was about to kiss her.

Although she had already shared more intimate moments with him than just kissing, she still could not help but feel her heart racing like a deer. Her cheeks flushed red, and she trembled slightly as she closed her eyes. As she felt his damp, warm breath drawing near, she could not help but pout her red lips, and she touched his lips immediately.

He paused slightly and stopped. This man was truly wicked; he even let out a short, scoffing laugh, the sound clear in her ears.

That was not all. With Jiafu in his arms, she could clearly feel his shoulders and chest vibrating slightly. Evidently, he was trying his best to hold back, laughing at her in secret.

Jiafu turned bright red with shame, even her earlobes burning. She did not want his kiss anymore; she opened her eyes, pushed him away, and stood up, annoyed. "I am sleepy. I am going back to my room to sleep; do as you please." She turned to leave, but as soon as she lifted a foot, a hand reached out from behind, gripped her forearm, and gave a gentle pull. She was forced back into his arms against her will.

Jiafu’s small face was still flushed. Pei You’an’s lips pressed against her ear, and he coaxed her in a low voice, "I really wasn't laughing at you just now..."

He had only said half a sentence before stopping, his chest vibrating again.

"Big Cousin!"

Jiafu was truly angry now. She struggled forcefully, refusing to sit on his lap again. Just as Pei You’an was coaxing her while holding her thin waist tightly with both arms, footsteps were heard outside the study. A matron came over and said through the door, "Sir, the female Taoist Hanzhen of the White Crane Temple has sent someone over, urgently requesting you to go there, saying her younger brother has had another sudden flare-up."

Jiafu stopped struggling and turned to look at Pei You’an.

Pei You’an was slightly stunned. The smile on his face vanished, and he immediately released Jiafu, saying, "I will go and take a look. You go to sleep first."

Jiafu remembered the child she had glanced at during the day—frail as a sick kitten. How could she dare to stop him? She nodded, followed Pei You’an back to their room, served him as he put on his clothes, and watched as he hurried out of the courtyard.

...

Pei You’an brought an attendant, rode out of the South City Gate, and hurried to the White Crane Temple. A senior disciple of Xuchen, named Qingxin, was waiting at the gate. Seeing Pei You’an arrive, he came to welcome him. Pei You’an brought his medical kit inside and asked about the situation.

Qingxin said, "He was fine during the day, but just now he had another flare-up. He is unconscious, frothing at the mouth; it is quite terrifying..."

Pei You’an hurried to the Taisu Hall. The door was open, and a little Taoist nun was anxiously craning her neck to look. Seeing Pei You’an arrive, she hurried to lead him in.

Pei You’an entered the child’s bedroom. It was brightly lit inside, and Xuchen was there too. Hearing the commotion, Chi Hanzhen turned and quickly came to meet him, her eyes red and swollen. Before she could speak, Pei You’an had already hurried to the bedside, lifted the quilt, and saw the child’s face was deathly pale, eyes tightly shut, limbs convulsing, with white foam at the corners of his mouth. He quickly checked the child's eyelids, took his pulse, and took a needle pouch from his medical kit. He ordered someone to hold down the child’s hands and feet, and inserted several needles into his body and head. Gradually, the child’s breathing became more stable, the convulsions stopped, and his eyelids moved as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Little brother!"

Chi Hanzhen cried tears of joy, rushed over, and held the child’s hand tightly.

Pei You’an wrote a prescription, selected the medicinal herbs himself, and told the little Taoist nun to go brew it immediately. He returned to continue with acupuncture. Two quarter-hours later, the medicine was brought in. He helped the child sit up and drink the medicine. A moment later, the child slowly closed his eyes and finally fell back into a deep sleep.

Xuchen breathed a sigh of relief and saw Pei You’an out to the outer room.

Pei You’an was packing his medical kit. Chi Hanzhen instructed the little Taoist nun to watch over her brother, then followed him out. Looking at Pei You’an with reddened eyes, she said, "I am truly ashamed. Because of my brother, your peace has been disturbed once again. My brother’s condition had improved these past two days; Elder Madam Pei even came to see him during the day. In the evening, when he got up, I followed your previous instructions and supported him as he walked two circles in the courtyard. I did not expect him to have another attack just now. I wanted to send someone to invite Imperial Physician Hu, but I was afraid the physician might be on duty in the palace tonight and not home. If the errand proved fruitless, I feared it would delay treating his urgent illness..."

Pei You’an waved his hand to stop her and said, "It is no matter. Your brother’s symptoms come on fiercely and rapidly, so delays indeed cannot be tolerated. I will stay for a while longer to ensure he is out of danger before I leave."

Chi Hanzhen’s expression showed gratitude. Xuchen also breathed a sigh of relief, knowing Pei You’an was a man of propriety. During his last visit, after treating the patient, he had retreated from the room and waited outside the courtyard to observe the effects; he assumed he would do the same now. Thus, he had tables and chairs moved out, brought some seasonal fruits, and, fearing mosquito bites in the summer night, had his disciples light incense. He stayed to keep him company, and after some attentive hospitality, he took his leave first.

Pei You’an stood under the moon, his robes like water, looking as elegant as jade. Chi Hanzhen personally brought tea out from the room and said, "I know you are newly wed, and tonight you were truly forced by necessity to be bothered to come here from so far away. I am truly grateful and have no way to repay you. I have no fine tea here, only a cake of Longya Pu'er left from last year. I brewed it myself; please, sir, have some tea."

Pei You’an smiled slightly, said it was no matter, picked up the tea cup, and took a sip.

Chi Hanzhen asked about the symptoms. Pei You’an set down the cup and said, "It is a complication of his original illness. If you follow the prescription I left and give him the medicine on time, if my calculations are correct, it should not happen again."

Chi Hanzhen was silent for a moment and said, "Sir, all these years, my family has withered away, and I have had no kin to rely on. Like floating duckweed, I have suffered much humiliation and grown accustomed to the fickleness of human hearts. My heart had long turned to ash. Only after meeting you did I realize there are still good people in this world, and my heart has slowly begun to warm. Please allow me to bow to you."

After she finished speaking, she abandoned the Taoist greeting and bowed deeply to Pei You’an with the etiquette of an ordinary woman. Her figure under the moonlight was as slender as bamboo, truly a pitiful sight to behold.

Pei You’an said, "Please rise, Taoist nun. Your grandfather once possessed a proud spirit and loyal heart, and he and I shared the bond of master and student. This is merely a trifling favor for me, so there is no need for you to take it to heart."

He looked up at the shadow of the moon, which was gradually rising above the clouds, thought for a moment, and said, "Your brother should be fine now. In that case, I will take my leave."

Chi Hanzhen personally saw him off. Pei You’an declined repeatedly before she finally stopped. She said, "Travel safely," and after thinking, added, "From childhood until now, I have lost many worldly possessions, but the one thing I cannot let go of is reading. I have finished reading the Lunheng you recommended last time, taking advantage of my brother’s stable condition these few days. However, there are a few points I do not understand. If you ever have the time, could you provide some guidance?"

Chi Hanzhen had loved reading since she was young, and when Pei You’an used to visit the Chi family, he had guided her several times.

Pei You’an said, "I do not have many insights myself. If you do not understand something, you can find annotations to compare and resolve the confusion yourself. I recall the bookstore carries them."

Chi Hanzhen paused and then said, "I understand. Thank you for your guidance, sir."

Pei You’an smiled slightly, nodded toward her, said "stay," and turned to walk away with large strides, his figure soon disappearing beneath the shadows of the moon.

...

After seeing Pei You’an off, Jiafu returned to her bedroom, undressed, and got into bed, but she could not sleep at all.

At first, she had been uneasy about running into Xiao Yintang today, but aftertemporarily casting those worries aside, by such a coincidence, Pei You’an had been called away by the female Taoist again. Although she knew in her heart that he had gone to treat a child, she still felt empty and unsettled. She had no mood to read, let alone sleep. She tossed and turned in bed, feeling dizzy and restless. She got up to check the time; it was already past the middle of the Haisui (9 p.m. to 11 p.m.). She did not know when Pei You’an would return, and if the child’s condition was urgent, he might not be able to return all night. Irritated and complaining of the stifling heat and the sweat on her skin, she got up to open a window when she suddenly heard movement outside. Pei You’an had returned. She vaguely heard him speaking to Tanxiang, seemingly asking if she had fallen asleep. She let out a sigh of relief, flew out of bed, and was about to go welcome him when she changed her mind. She quickly let down the bed curtain, scrambled back into bed, pulled the quilt over her chest, and turned inward, pretending to be asleep.

A series of light footsteps entered. He went to the bath area first, and a moment later, he emerged. There was the faint sound of rustling as he undressed, then the curtain was lifted, and a person lay down beside her.

Jiafu remained still. Pei You’an did not touch her at first. After a while, she felt a hand reach out from behind her waist, slip under her clothes, and poke her ribs, lightly tickling her waist.

Jiafu was most ticklish; she tried her best to endure it, but after being tickled a few more times, she could not help it and let out a giggle. Her body was pulled toward him, and Pei You’an hugged her, whispering in her ear, "Is this how you serve your husband?"

Jiafu opened her eyes and mumbled, "I was asleep and was tickled awake by you. Clearly, you told me to sleep first, yet now you are finding fault with me."

Pei You’an stared at her beautiful, delicate face, his gaze gradually falling upon her cherry-red lips. He suddenly said, "Smile for me again."

It was so abrupt that Jiafu was momentarily confused and opened her eyes blankly.

"Like the way you smiled at me this morning when I dropped you off at the White Crane Temple."

Only then did Jiafu remember that moment. She remembered him just looking at her for a few moments before turning away, and she thought he had not noticed. She had not expected him to ask her to smile again now.

Jiafu could not refuse him. After holding her breath for a moment, she pursed her lips and smiled, the little dimple at the corner of her mouth flickering in and out of sight.

Pei You’an cradled her face, leaned in, and kissed that little dimple that caught his eye. Slowly, his lips moved to hers, and he parted his mouth to take her in.

Outside the tent, the silver lamp flickered; inside, a dark fragrance permeated the air. Jiafu, with her hair in disarray, lay before him as he moved in rhythm, rubbing and grinding against her—sometimes light, sometimes heavy, sometimes slow, sometimes fast. An arm hung weakly over the edge of the bed, the bracelet on her wrist swaying slightly in mid-air, striking the wooden frame and emitting soft, rhythmic tapping sounds.

"I have nothing to do with her; it was merely to provide medical treatment in the past. You were very sensible tonight, truly excellent. Sleep now."

After it was over and before falling asleep, Pei You’an held Jiafu in his arms, casually stroked her head, kissed her forehead, and said softly.