Wish You All the Best - Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Jiafu helped Pei You'an sit down on the edge of the couch. Just as she was about to call for someone to bring tea and water to attend to him, she turned and caught a glimpse of bloodstains on the sleeve of his left arm. Her gaze fixed on the spot, and she was shocked. "Cousin, are you hurt?"

Pei You'an rarely drank alcohol, but tonight, surrounded by the various Tusi of the Southwest, he had been pressed by their enthusiastic, boisterous toasts, each man offering a full cup of wine. Unable to refuse their goodwill, he had made an exception and indulged a round. Feeling the effects of the wine, he followed her gaze, looked down at his arm, and then lifted his eyes to see her staring intently, her eyes wide with panic. A sudden warmth stirred in his heart. He comforted her, "It’s only a light scratch, not an injury. It’s nothing."

"Blood is already coming out, and you still say it's nothing!" Jiafu retorted anxiously. She turned to fetch the jar of ointment he had used on her previously, washed her hands, and hurried back.

The shallow cut on his arm had already been treated and the bleeding stopped. It was likely that the surge of blood from the alcohol had caused it to seep through again; it was truly of no consequence. But seeing her so anxious and worried, insisting on re-applying the medicine, he did not stop her. He sat still, silently watching her busy herself at his side.

Jiafu removed his outer robe, rolled up his under-sleeve, and carefully unwound the bandage the guard had wrapped for him earlier. She saw a cut several inches long that had split open, with blood slowly seeping out.

She had always been terrified of the sight of blood and wounds, but now, this wound felt as if it were on her own body. She felt no horror, only intense heartache. As she carefully dabbed the styptic ointment onto his arm, she remembered the stinging pain she had felt when he applied it to her, so she pursed her lips slightly and leaned in, blowing gently on his wound.

The wound felt cool and tingly from her breath, even a little itchy, like the tickle of a light feather. Pei You'an fought hard to restrain himself from pulling his arm away. Her face was very close to his, and Pei You'an smelled the sweet fragrance radiating from her hair and skin—a scent entirely different from the deliberate perfume he had smelled on her at the Duke’s manor in the capital last year. Hers was light, warm, and sweet. He found himself growing accustomed to this scent, and whenever he caught a whiff of it, it always brought him a sense of pleasure.

"Cousin, bear with it for a moment; it will stop hurting soon. It was the same for me last time."

Listening to her comforting words, which sounded as if she were coaxing a child, the wine in Pei You'an’s stomach seemed to surge once more. Intoxicated, he slowly closed his eyes.

Jiafu finished applying the medicine, carefully re-tied the bandage, and pulled down his sleeves. Seeing him with his eyes closed, seemingly unable to hold his liquor, she hurried to help him lie down. The moment her fingertips touched his shoulder, Pei You'an suddenly opened his eyes. He raised a hand to block her slightly and said, "Cousin, there is something I must tell you."

His tone had suddenly taken on a note of solemnity.

Jiafu stopped, looking up at him in confusion.

"We return tomorrow. Once we arrive, I will arrange for someone to take you to Quanzhou," he said in a gentle tone.

It felt as if her chest had been struck by an unexpected blow. Her heart plummeted with a thud, and she stared at him blankly, unable to speak.

Pei You'an smiled slightly. "Don't worry; I have not forgotten the promise I made to you."

Although she knew he would eventually send her away, hearing it from his own lips felt far too sudden.

Jiafu was utterly unprepared. Her mind was in turmoil, but after regaining her composure, she tried her best to force a smile. "Thank you, Elder Cousin... but... must you send me away right now?"

Pei You'an did not look at her pleading gaze, answering only with silence.

Jiafu’s heart sank lower with every passing second.

"...Must it be now? Can't it wait a while longer? I promise I will listen to you, Elder Cousin. I won't lose my temper, I won't fight with anyone, and I won't make you angry ever again..."

Jiafu’s voice was already laced with a sob.

Another wave of intoxication surged within him. The window was open, yet Pei You'an felt stifled; his throat tightened, and his breathing grew labored. The drunkenness fermented in his chest, deepening with every moment.

She thought he was angry with her...

He steadied his mind.

There was no harm in telling her the reason for sending her away. The event had already transpired, and there was no room for reversal. It wouldn't be long before the world knew, even before she reached Quanzhou.

This was also the reason why today’s mediation had to succeed—failure was not an option.

"It has nothing to do with you. There is some trouble on the side of the Prince's manor. I received word just yesterday: the Emperor has summoned the Heir Apparent to the capital to participate in ancestral rites under the guise of an imperial favor. The Heir killed the envoy; the Prince of Yunzhong has no choice but to rebel."

Pei You'an’s voice was gentle and calm, as if he feared startling her, or perhaps as if he had long foreseen that this day would come, only unaware of what catalyst would trigger it.

Now, everything had an answer.

Just a few days ago, a new envoy had arrived from the capital, summoning the Prince of Yunzhong’s Heir, Xiao Yintang, to the capital immediately. The purpose of his entry was, naturally, to hold him as a hostage. When the Prince of Yunzhong received the decree and delayed his response, Xiao Yintang had sent men to kill the envoy, choosing this method to make the decision for his father.

Jiafu was stunned.

She only knew that the time was approaching for the Emperor to turn against the Prince of Yunzhong, for war to erupt, and for the Prince of Yunzhong to subsequently enter the capital to ascend the throne as Emperor.

She had not known the true cause of the matter.

So, this was the beginning of the nightmare from her previous life.

Pei You'an looked at her pale face, his voice growing softer. "If my estimations are correct, the war will begin soon. I cannot take you with me, and this place is no longer safe. Quanzhou, however, is not a strategic hub of military importance and is far from the strife. It should remain largely unaffected; it ought to be a peaceful place. After you return, there will be someone to protect you and your family, so you may rest easy."

Jiafu did not know who he intended to send to protect her, but since he had arranged it, she believed that for the time she was back home, that person might truly be able to shield her.

But what of the near future? Once the Prince of Yunzhong became Emperor and Xiao Yintang became the Crown Prince, the power in his hands would be capable of turning the tides. By then, if he still refused to let her go, would Pei You'an’s protectors truly be able to shield her against the power of the Crown Prince? And where would Pei You'an be by then?

Perhaps the greatest likelihood was that this was a final farewell; she would never have another chance to meet Pei You'an again.

She longed to do as she had the first time she met him at the post station—throw herself into this man’s arms, hold onto him for dear life, and beg him to allow her to remain under his protection, not to push her out of his world just like this.

But she knew this was his final decision. It would never change.

She stared at him blankly.

He remained silent. A moment later, seemingly overcome by a fresh wave of drunkenness, he lay down in his clothes, closed his eyes, and said in a calm voice that she could return to her room; there was no need for her to stay here.

Jiafu returned to the room next to his, feeling as if her soul had been taken from her. Her entire being was gripped by a sense of impending catastrophe.

Knowing the terrible things that would happen and being powerless to escape, watching them approach step by step—this was the greatest fear of all.

The night deepened, and the Tusi manor gradually grew quiet. Jiafu held her breath, pressing her ear tightly against the wall, straining to hear any movement from the room next door.

He was drunk and sleeping soundly. Jiafu listened for a long while, but she heard nothing at all.

She sat curled in the corner of the bed, her body motionless in the shadows of the night. She sat like this for a long time before finally climbing off the bed and walking out silently.

...

Pei You'an was drunk tonight.

When he first returned, the intoxication might not have been so profound, but after he sent her away, his mood sank, and following that, the drunkenness surged from all directions, drowning him in an overwhelming tide.

In the end, he even began to dream. He dreamt of fragments of the old, bitter past regarding a sixteen-year-old youth.

That year, the youth had escorted his father’s funeral procession back to the capital. In the dead of night, just after the funeral concluded, consumed by grief, he went to visit his mother, Lady Xin, who was lying ill.

The servants said Lady Xin was still in the small mourning hall, so he searched for her and saw her silhouette.

She was facing his father’s spirit tablet alone, her back rigid.

The youth stood at the entrance of the hall, and just as he was about to enter, Lady Xin suddenly began to curse the spirit tablet in a low voice, her tone filled with such intense resentment.

"Sixteen years!"

"You heartless man!"

"I accepted the wild seed you brought from the outside as my son, watching him snatch away everything that belonged to my own son! And now you’ve died just like that?"

"The one who should be dead is him! Why hasn't he died yet? Wasn't it said he wouldn't live past ten? How many years has it been now?"

The pitiful widow, immersed in her own endless grief and resentment, did not notice that the youth had come and quietly left again.

The youth in the dream was of noble status, brilliant and elegant. In the eyes of others, he was a heaven-sent child, his only regret in life being his frail health. But only the youth himself knew that his weak body was not his only secret; his unbearable pain came from how he was treated by the mother he had been given.

He was naturally precocious. When other children of his age were still ignorant, he had already gained an impression: Lady Xin did not like him. Not only did she not like him, but she harbored a strong loathing for him. In private, the way she would stare at him became an indelible shadow that accompanied his upbringing for a long time. No matter how outstanding he was—in fact, the more outstanding he became, the more he felt an emotion of disgust from her. But his inherent restraint dictated that he would never peel back his inner shadows to show a second person, not even in front of his father or grandmother. He kept it to himself.

Even so, it did not hinder his desire to mend his relationship with Lady Xin, especially now that his father had just passed away.

When he was small, he had guessed that Lady Xin didn't like him perhaps because of his poor health. So, he studied medicine and martial arts, hoping that one day he could be like everyone else, with a healthy body.

He did not know that Lady Xin’s dislike for him stemmed from his sordid origins.

He was not the proper legitimate heir of the Pei family.

He was merely an illegitimate son his father had brought back from the outside.

This secret, learned by chance, plunged the sixteen-year-old youth into a profound self-denial and self-loathing. All the knowledge he had once taken for granted collapsed in a single night.

Then, three months later, on a certain night when his father’s mourning period was nearly coming to an end, the event that would affect the rest of his life occurred.

One of his father’s concubines hanged herself from a tree in front of his residential courtyard in the middle of the night. Her body was discovered the next morning. Rumors began to spread; some claimed to have seen him subject her to lewd insults, and the concubine, unable to bear the shame, had hanged herself in anger before his residence.

He ended his life as a youth by leaving the capital.

If it did not belong to him, he would return it; it was the natural order of things.

...

As an adult, Pei You'an, who had always been a light sleeper, had not dreamt for years.

But tonight, he had fallen into such an unpleasant dream. In his dream, he had returned to that youth, which had looked bright and glorious to others but was nothing but repressed and gloomy for him. In a haze, the youth seemed to fall once again into the frozen wastes beyond the borders, surrounded by severed limbs and withered bones, as if in hell. As he grew hot and cold, restless in his sleep, a familiar, light, warm, and sweet scent permeated his nostrils. His arms felt soft and full, and the darkness of his dream was gradually dispelled. He instinctively clung to this warm, soft feeling, chasing it in his dream, reluctant to let it go.

When Jiafu was pulled into Pei You'an’s embrace, she was startled. Her body stiffened for a moment, but slowly, as she felt his hot, alcohol-laced breath puffing against her face, she realized he was not awake. Her body finally began to tremble slightly, unable to stop; her heart pounded, and her skin felt scorching hot.

"So be it. If I'm being shameless, then I'm being shameless," she thought, holding onto him and refusing to let go, waiting for him to sober up.

Jiafu hardened her heart, leaned closer to him until she was curled entirely within his arms, and with trembling eyelashes, she slowly closed her eyes.