Love Has Fireworks - Chapter 20

Chapter 20: There is an Identical Item on Taobao

When Saturday arrived, Li Yifei produced a black shirt and handed it to Qian Fei. "An expedited item. I need to wear it tomorrow to attend a friend's wedding."

Qian Fei immediately planted her hands on her hips, her hair standing on end with fury. "Li Yifei, do you truly take me for your old maid?!"

Li Yifei patted her shoulder, smiling with an aura of sanctimonious piety. "Don't describe the relationship between us so pragmatically! There is true affection between us!"

Qian Fei slapped his paw away. "Don't get handsy with me, I am not all that familiar with you either!"

Watching her desperate resistance and lack of desire to serve him, Li Yifei's eyes rolled. He suddenly said, "Return my tea leaves to me then!"

Qian Fei was choked for a moment. "What tea leaves! No, exactly what kind of person are you? How can you only think of asking for them back at a time like this!"

Li Yifei peered at her. "You took them to give away as a gift, didn't you? You can't return them anymore, right?" He stuffed the clothing into her arms. "Big sister, it's already quite good that I didn't make you pay off your debt with your body. Hurry up and help me wash the clothing!"

Qian Fei asked while grinding her back teeth, "How did you know I took them to give away as a gift!"

She saw that Li Yifei could not hold back from laughing, and within his smile was a very obvious contempt. "What kind of drinking conduct do you have? Can you irresponsibly completely fail to remember the words you spoke after drinking wine?!"

Qian Fei returned to him resentfully, "Big brother, that is called having a poor capacity for liquor, it is not called having poor drinking conduct. I thank you!"

She held the clothing and looked at it with loathing, then turned her head toward Li Yifei and said viciously, "If you want me to wash the clothing, that's fine, you go downstairs to buy groceries!"

Li Yifei rejected it as a matter of course. "You can go buy them yourself after you finish washing the clothing."

Qian Fei flung the clothing back to him. "Washing clothing and buying groceries—you must choose one!" She paused, her anger rising from a single place. "I say, Li Yifei, a person cannot be too much of a young master, can they?"

Li Yifei pushed the clothing back into her arms again, speaking with an affected tone, "Fine then, I'll go, alright! Qian Fei, let me tell you, you are truly too blessed today. This young master has never bought groceries before! If that old man in our family knew that my life's very first time was dedicated to you instead of having anything to do with him, he would surely suffer a massive myocardial infarction!"

Qian Fei nearly threw up.

It was just running an errand to buy some groceries; was it necessary to elevate the matter to such a lofty height? He had even dragged out that person at home with whom he had severed relations.

"Cut the nonsense!" Qian Fei swept him out of the house. "You eat this maternal aunt's food, wear the clothing washed by this maternal aunt, and enjoy this maternal aunt's old maid service. You drive me around to your heart's content just like driving a donkey. If this matter were watched by my mom in heaven, she would surely feel so pained for her child! Perhaps she would look for you in the middle of the night tonight to have a chat!"

Li Yifei let out a tche, gave a shrug, and stepped out of the door.

Qian Fei looked at the clothing in her hands—a black shirt with golden buttons. The label on the clothing was once again printed with a major international brand. She curled her lips, tossed this shirt which she had stamped with the replica label into the washing machine, and began to churn it without a shred of pity.

By the time the clothing was completely washed, Li Yifei still had not returned. Qian Fei suspected that this idiot had gone to plant the vegetables fresh.

When she took the clothing out of the washing machine, she discovered that the color of the clothing's buttons was not as bright and fresh as before.

Just as she was researching it, Li Yifei finally returned, holding a bag from Carrefour supermarket in his hands, completely filled with groceries inside.

Qian Fei already had no desire to complain about him abandoning the cheap groceries of the food market and absolutely insisting on going to Carrefour to buy expensive ones. She felt that with his ultra-low IQ in daily life, he could not master this issue.

"There were far too many people lining up to check out! It made my heels ache from waiting!" Li Yifei spoke while delivering the groceries to the kitchen. Having washed his hands and come out, he asked Qian Fei, "You are looking at it as if you are reading a face—what are you staring at?"

As he spoke, he turned his head and also followed her to look at his piece of clothing.

With just one look, he let out a great wail.

"Big Sister Qian! You can't be! You just tossed the clothing into the washing machine to wash it like this?" He cried out while staring at the dark and lusterless buttons.

Qian Fei gave him a white eye. "What? If I don't put it in the washing machine to wash it, could it be that I still have to use my tongue to lick it clean?"

Li Yifei raised his hand to slap his own forehead. "I must stay calm!" Then he bent his waist slightly, gripped Qian Fei's shoulders, looked into her eyes, and spoke word by word, "Big sister, to wash this clothing, one has to first snip all these golden buttons off, and then sew them back on after it finishes washing and dries! This way, it won't let chemical substances like laundry liquid and laundry powder damage the buttons, and it also saves the buttons from scratching and ripping the clothing! I thought this was common sense that everyone understands!"

Qian Fei twisted left and right, breaking away from his hands. "Beat it! For a high-quality replica, is it worth you being this fastidious!"

Li Yifei extracted the clothing from her hands, showing it to her with a solemn vow: "Look clearly, these are pure gold buttons! This is a genuine trademark!"

Qian Fei raised a hand and batted his paw away. "Stop joking! I just don't believe it's real! If it were real, it wouldn't go so far as to lose its luster from being washed just once! If this were real, how much would this clothing have to cost? If you had eight or ten pieces of clothing like this, you could completely lift your loft from the Fifth Ring Road to the Fourth Ring Road. Why would you still be renting a place here with me! You are just forcing a brave face to put on a show! Tell me, isn't living with this much vanity exhausting!" She looked at Li Yifei's darkened face, thought about it, and said, "Don't pull a long face either. Later on, I'll buy an identical piece for you from Taobao to count as compensation to you, will that do?!"

Li Yifei looked at her, his expression going from twisted to helpless, and from helpless to gradually forming a bitter smile.

He stuffed the clothing back to Qian Fei. "As for people who can make me laugh from anger in this lifetime, besides you there is still no other person!"

Qian Fei rolled her eyes at him. "Thank you, but I don't feel honored in the slightest!" She turned around to hang up the clothing.

In the evening, the clothing was dry. Qian Fei ironed the clothing well and delivered it over to Li Yifei.

She began to go prepare dinner.

The meal was ready, and she went to call Li Yifei.

The door to Li Yifei's room was not closed. Standing at the doorway, she saw him lowering his head, using a very clumsy posture, looking very stupid and twisted as he... it seemed he was sewing buttons!!!

Qian Fei was startled. She had not expected that this kid also had times when he relied on his own efforts.

She walked over and called him, "What are you doing? Let's eat first!" Lowering her head to look, her mouth instantly opened wide.

It turned out he was snipping the buttons off another shirt to move them onto this newly washed one.

She looked at that button he was currently sewing—those stitch patterns piled together like excrement stimulated her to the point of nearly being moved to tears.

"Big brother, can you please have a bit of rationality! You sewing it like this is even worse than the original dark and lusterless look!" She thought about it, then suddenly turned her words around, "Hey, wait, that's not right. Why didn't you exploit me to help you sew it? Are you afraid that I will continuously grasp onto the topic of your high-quality replica and fail to let go, hurting your self-esteem?"

Li Yifei stopped his needle and raised his head to look at her. "No, I am afraid that after you finish eating later, you will make me wash the dishes in exchange!"

Qian Fei froze for a moment, then began to laugh loudly, "Haha! Child, congratulations, you even know how to rush to answer before the question is finished! Since you've thought of it, then it would be better to straight up do it this way! Forget it, forget it, you put it down. After eating, I'll help you sew it! If you fiddle with it for a bit longer, I'll have washed and ironed this clothing for nothing!"

After finishing the meal, Qian Fei pushed the bowls and chopsticks toward Li Yifei. "Go wash the dishes!"

Li Yifei said, "I would rather go back to sew buttons!"

Qian Fei said, "If you don't wash the dishes today, I will snip off the buttons of all your clothing and sew them all onto that high-quality replica of yours!"

Li Yifei ground his teeth. "Qian Fei, you are too ruthless! How does that saying go again? The most poisonous is a woman's heart!"

Qian Fei stacked the bowls straight into his hands. "Cut the nonsense! Having eaten free meals for so long, you ought to contribute a bit of labor as well!"

Li Yifei made a dying struggle. "Let me tell you, I truly have never washed dishes before. If the suds are not rinsed clean and you die of poisoning because of it, don't regret it!"

Qian Fei pushed him into the kitchen. "Isn't it just a single death? Ever since the Advanced Mathematics teacher temporarily changed his mind before the final exam and failed to outline the questions for us, making us enter the exam room wishing we were dead rather than alive, this older sister has viewed the matter of life and death very lightly! Don't be afraid, go! I guarantee that when licking the suds, I will look upon death as going home!"

She watched Li Yifei reluctantly and complainingly turn on the tap, gave a wicked smile toward him, and entered the room to sew the buttons.

※※※※※※

The wedding Li Yifei attended was that of Da Jun's maternal older cousin.

At the wedding, the moment Da Jun saw him, his eyes twitched.

"Handsome guy? What is the situation? I remember this shirt didn't look like this when it was bought back then? Where did those gold-flashing, awesome buttons go? Without those gold buttons, you can actually still endure wearing this clothing out. Where has your fastidiousness gone, hey, my young master? Holy crap, I am witnessing a miracle, aren't I!"

Li Yifei let out a mutter, "This is nothing yet. If I told you that I've even bought groceries and even washed dishes, would you have to screechingly go jump off a building?"

Da Jun punched his chest. "Bad guy! Stop joking! Aside from touching little chicks, when have the hands of you, the great young master, ever performed manual labor! Back then when you said you boiled a kettle of water for your old man, it gave me quite a shock!"

Li Yifei looked at him and said seriously, "I truly bought groceries and washed dishes."

Da Jun looked at him dumbfounded. "For whom? That little true love of yours? No, you told me you already broke up with her. Then it's your old man? That's not right either, you two broke off even earlier! Then who is it?"

Li Yifei gave him a white eye and did not answer.

Da Jun could not stop chattering away to himself, "To think that if your old man knows in the future that your first time was dedicated to someone else, he will have to feel so heartbroken!"

Li Yifei still ignored him.

Thinking about it, Da Jun changed the topic.

"You are still renting a place outside and not returning home? Haven't you already broken up with that little true love of yours, so how long do you intend to keep up the fuss with the old man!"

Li Yifei looked at him, deliberately putting on a profound air to say, "Child, you don't understand! My fussing with the old man is actually not mainly because he blocked me and didn't let me date that girlfriend; rather, it is because he looks down on me. He feels that once I leave him, I can't do a single thing. I just want to contest this breath of air with him. Everyone has the surname Li, I cannot let him look down on me!"

Da Jun let out a mutter, "I don't even know who you are pitting yourself against! Then it's fine if you don't go home either, move out to rent a single room, so we brothers can still go drink for an all-nighter and fool around when nothing is going on. Right now you still have a female landlord living there, it gets too much in the way. Besides, buddy, don't you feel it's inconvenient for a solitary man and a solitary woman to be co-renting together?"

Li Yifei's smile was a bit wretched. "It's convenient! I'm living quite comfortably!" He raised his eyebrows toward Da Jun. "You don't know how useful that landlord of mine is! Cooking, cleaning the house, washing clothing, and cleaning the toilet—she can withstand being driven around even more than an old man!"

Da Jun laughed tremulously. "Holy crap, so after so many years have passed, you are still a piece of human dregs!"

※※※※※※

Having finished watching the newlyweds perform the ceremony, Da Jun dragged Li Yifei to the banquet table to eat a grand meal.

At the dining table, Da Jun nudged Li Yifei. "Tell me what exactly is going on with your clothing? Could it be that you couldn't survive and snipped the buttons off to exchange them for money or something? If you truly can't survive anymore, just give a word to your buddy, and it won't be a problem for your buddy to top up eight hundred thousand or a million onto your phone bill!"

Li Yifei spat a word at him, "Beat it!" Then he related the entire matter of the buttons being washed into a ruined state by Qian Fei.

Da Jun looked at him with his mouth wide open. "Would it kill you to take the clothing out for dry cleaning! If you are poor to this extent, just stop fighting with the old man, won't that do!" Pausing, he added, "But this isn't your style; you used to have no such great tolerance toward women. She washed your gold buttons into a ruined state, yet you didn't fix her up?" Pausing again, he slapped his thigh and cried out, "That matter of you buying groceries and washing dishes—could it be that it was also done following her!"

Li Yifei looked at him, gave an evil, crooked smile, and nodded.

Da Jun twitched. "Damn it! Don't tell me you've taken a fancy to a bro!"